Redirected cat aggression in my two males

[shadowsrescue]

I had never heard you shouldn't put a feliway in a bedroom.  I have them all over my house.  I think you need to place one wherever Vinny will be spending the most time.  If you don't want to put one in the bedroom, you might want to try the spray.  I hate the smell of it, but it goes away after a bit.

When you bring him home, I would take him straight to your room or wherever he will be.  It might be too much to start in the bathroom and then have to move him.  You could bring him into the room, open the carrier and see what happens.  If he seems agitated, you can leave him be for a bit and come back later.  Make sure he has a litter box and food/water.  You might want to have some calming music playing for him too.  Allow him to explore and allow him to approach you.  I would let him take the lead.  If he seems aggressive, leave the space and try again later. 

If there is something special he likes for wet food that would be a nice treat, but you don't want to upset his stomach by introducing new food.  You could offer him a small amount of something special. 

Make sure you are calm too.  He will pick up on your angst.  I know it's really hard, but it will help him to know you are calm.  Tell him about your new plan.  How he will need to stay in the bedroom until he is feeling better and that you are working on helping he and Leo get back to being buddies.  I always tell my animals my plans!! 

You are doing so much for Vinny and you seem super organized too!!  Good luck tomorrow.  Let us know how it goes.

 

[whitney723]

I read in the directions that a bedroom might be too small a space for feliway because it's strong. But we have a medium size room and a master bathroom in there too so I decided to plug it in anyway. The smell is kind of nice actually. Since we pick him up tomorrow I wanted it to start diffusing sooner rather than later.

After putting some plans to paper I'm feeling a bit better, maybe because I'm prepared, my own anxiety issues stem from not feeling in control (and that's a whole other story and a lot of therapy, ha) so writing things down helps with that. Maybe reading it to vinny from the paper will help me with calming down.

Since vinny will be in my bedroom and Leo will be in the spare room across the house, I'm going to put clothes tonight for the next few days in our other room. It's our media room and my boyfriend keeps his video games and our big nice tv in there so it's really neutral because we keep the door shut when we aren't in there. I think being able to change clothes after spending time with Leo at least for the first day or two is best until sure he trusts us.

Also does anyone have any experience with a product called stray away? It's supposed to keep strays, other animals and stuff away from your front porch area. We are already putting decals up on our front door side light windows so the cats can't see out of it or their reflexion in it at night and think there's another cat outside.

Also my cat Leo is prone to scratching on guest room door and crying to be let out. It's getting on my last nerve but punishment seems cruel since he doesn't understand. What are some things I might should do to keep him calmer while he's separated? Should I get another feliway for that room, maybe the calming liquid drops or treats? Maybe even the calming collar? The collar I want is the one with the breakaway feature and it prob won't come in the mail for a few days. I do have a radio in that room, maybe that'll help, I can play the npr station since it mostly plays classical during the day. We will be at work most of the days and I don't want Leo's crying and scratching to upset Vinny. Luckily their rooms are across the house from each other but our house is only like 1300 sq feet. I have an air filter that has great white noise that I can have on just outside vinnys door that might help too.

Is there anything else I haven't thought about?

 

[betsygee]

Wow, you are super prepared, that's great.  A Feliway for Leo is a good idea, those things really work--for our cats, anyway.  And the calming collars are good, too.  

But, does Leo usually have the run of the house? Can he be out in the house while Vinny is in your bedroom?

 

[whitney723]

Normally Leo does. Both do actually. But Leo hates closed doors. We trained him to leave our media room door alone but the bedroom door is usually always open so that confuses him. He'll scratch on it and meow at it and it upset vinny when he was sick so I think for a couple days I'll keep Leo away on his own room. When I reintroduce then I was thinking of feeding them their wet food on opposite sides of the bedroom door so they are getting something they like and having to smell each other.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Feliways in both rooms and maybe one for a main area of your house too.  I have 4 of them right now! 

I know that Jackson Galaxy recommends a product to use to keep strays away, but I personally have never used it.

When you are ready for the cats to see each other face to face, but don't want them to tear at each other, you might try a screen door.  Cats can jump baby gates.  I bought a cheap wooden screen door at Lowes for $20.  I didn't want to deface my current door so I attached it with tension rods.  It allowed the cats to see each other and even come right up to the door and sniff.  It worked well for feedings too when they were ready for sight to sight feedings.  I used a gate in the door frame for a little bit of extra protection.  I always supervised the visits at first.  Here is a picture of my set up.

IMG_1228.JPG

• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2013

IMG_1222.JPG

• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2013

 

[whitney723]

That's awesome! Best part, my boyfriend is the manager of mill work (doors and windows) at lowes! We could def do that.

 

[betsygee]

That's awesome! Best part, my boyfriend is the manager of mill work (doors and windows) at lowes! We could def do that.

Cool!  It sounds like you've got lots of options here.  I have a feeling that Leo and Vinny will be okay.  

 

[whitney723]

I found the Jackson Galaxy Spirit Essence products on Abel's Market online. It still comes with the guarantee if they don't work well for us and I got free shipping and 15% off, and those puppies aren't cheap. This market seems completely legit from my research online. Thought I'd pass this information along, since I've been sucking you all dry of all your information lately. 

We might not get these until the end of the week, so I bought some calming treats to try first. 

Thanks ya'll. I'm feeling especially hopeful today about bringing our little man back home. I am trying to stay positive and upbeat and I hope that carries over to Vinny tomorrow.  Here's a picture of our normally sweet and carefree little 7 lbs ginger, Vincent (aka Vinny).  I hope it's ok to share this here, I just wanted to share it because we've been talking about him for days now.

Vinny.jpg

• whitney723
• Mar 16, 2014

 

[whitney723]

oops, it's called Abe's Market. In my pricematch excitement, I typed the wrong name!

 

[shadowsrescue]

I usually order my Spirit Essences through Abe's Market!

 

[whitney723]

Do you think they work? They were pretty expensive but with the money back guarantee I thought they'd be worth the good ole college try.

 

[shadowsrescue]

I have used quite a few of them.  My favorite and the one I have had the most success with is Feral Cat Rehab.  I have also used Safe space for Cats with good results, Bully Remedy, Peacemaker and Self Esteem.  I have quite a few of them.  They don't work instantly.  I found them to take 10-14 days for initial results and I kept using them for 6 weeks or more.  Make sure you use them 3 or more times each day.  The easiest is to put it in wet food, but also you can put a few drops in your hand and rub it into their fur.  Spritzing around the room or on bedding also helps. 

 

[whitney723]

I got UR-Fine for Vinny, it's supposed to help with stress for cats prone to bladder infections, then the stress one and the bully one. I might end up swapping the bully one for peacemaker though. Or I might get it by itself later if I think we need it too.

I think the diffuser is aggravating Leo's asthma so I'm unplugging it for now. Play therapy seems to tire him out when he's being kind of annoying, he sleeps a lot during the day but in the evening especially when he wants attention from us he gets ridiculous, usually it's nothing we can't handle, he's super fun to play with. But right now it's a little irritating but I understand he's stressed too and I'm trying to be compassionate and remember he needs us too,

 

[whitney723]

Oh also any idea on how I should keep vinny comfy? He isn't really one to sleep on a cat bed but I've got a little mat he might want. He normally loved to sleep on our bed on a blanket my boyfriend snuggles with. I was thinking of maybe of putting it on the floor for him.

Or should I just leave him alone and let him do what he wants? If he's sore I don't think he'll want to be on the bed, it's kind of high up.

 

[shadowsrescue]

I would try to keep things as normal as possible.  Let me lead the way on where he wants to sleep or lounge.  I hope the trip home goes well today and he is feeling better.

 

[whitney723]

I went by the hospital to see Vinny this morning. They let me in a room with him and he acted the way he usually does at the vet which is crying, walking around the room, running on me. I'm not picking him up until this evening after work but I'll be wearing the same clothes he rubbed all over me in so I hope he'll remember and be like that's my person coming to save me. The vet is hoping he will associate the negative stuff with him and the vet techs so that when we get home he'll be so glad he won't be as anxious, but the kitty anxiety meds are probable. Honestly makes me feel better about bringing him home though so I'm ok with it.

I'll let you all know how it goes.

 

[whitney723]

Got a call from the vet at lunch time. Definitely picking him up at 4:30-5 pm today.  Even though he seemed happy to see me this AM, I'm still just so nervous about bringing him home. I have gone to the trouble of all the preparations for him and just keeping my fingers crossed that this all goes well. 

I've been so anxious for the past 3 days that I've lost 3 lbs, so I'm trying to breath deep and slowly when I start feeling anxious. The vet might need to prescribe ME the Xanax!  I practiced talking to him in a calm sweet voice that I normally use with him this morning when I saw him and I kissed him on his head and nose. I don't think he really knows that's a human sign of affection, but it's typical behavior between me and him, so maybe it at least made him feel like I'm one of the "good guys."  I didn't see a cath, so I'm thinking they didn't have to cath him in the end. The vet tech who called me at lunch time said he'd been peeing on his own, eating and drinking this weekend.  

She didn't seem to think I'd need the anxiety meds for him, just separating him and Leo for up to 48 hours, and the feliway diffusers. The diffuser's been going for about 36 hours now, so I hope that's going to work. We ordered another one for the living room, too, but it arrives Wednesday.

I think they think I'm "over prepared" but I always think I'm under prepared. But I'm as prepared as my wallet would allow me to be in this short amount of time. 

I'm going to try to think of each of your advice about trial/error, letting this just happen and taking it hour by hour and trying not to let my anxiety prey on this and bother poor Vinny. 

He seems to not need any more meds for a couple days, they did a long lasting shot and they last a couple days. I do have pain meds for him. Maybe with the pain meds it would't be a good idea to mix with anti anxiety meds and that's why they aren't sure about prescribing them. I don't want to over medicate my little guy. 

 

[betsygee]

Yes, deep breaths.  

   I completely agree about the anxiety meds.  For us it was sort of a last resort with Jake and fortunately they worked but if they're not needed, so much the better!

Don't worry, we all stress about our babies.  I've more than once said I should have the vet prescribe ME the anti-anxiety meds, instead of giving them to the cat.  

Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well.  

 (lucky shamrock for St. Patrick's Day!)  

 

[shadowsrescue]

Try to act as normal and nonchalant as possible.  Welcome him home and shower him with love.  I know you will be anxious, but remember if you are anxious, he will become anxious too.  Pick up a bottle of Rescue Remedy for yourself!! 

We all want the moon and the stars for our beloved pets.  My DH always says I have such great patience with all of my cats, yet not one drop of patience elsewhere!!  Dealing with cats is tricky, but so rewarding.  You have planned for everything. 

If you start to get anxious, leave the room and have your boyfriend step if.  I have had to do this before.  My  DH is always calm and collected. 

 

[whitney723]

I sit here writing this as vinny lays on the bed quietly. He was a bit confused I think when he first got home but doing pretty well otherwise. We did come home with some anti anxiety meds and we have him one. The only thing is they forgot to tell me when to give the next side of pain meds and I am afraid to over medicate. They re open at 7:30 am so I'll call first thing in the morning to check in though.

He's been cautious, curious but friendly. No hissing (yet).

So far so good. I'm leaving him alone but giving him love when he wants it. So I'm hopeful. It seems like he's trying to get used to our house again (or at least the bedroom) I guess 2 and a half days away is enough for him to forget but maybe that's good because he was so stressed here before.

I'll update later. Thanks for everything!