Really really want a lap/cuddly cat - considering getting a 2nd one

[royblazer]

 
What do you do ?  I strongly suggest you don't get another cat because you have unrealistic expectations of what a pet can provide you with.  I'm not calling you a bad person. You just have some unrealistic expectations that need to be addressed before adding another pet to your household. I don't know what your experience is with children but they are far nastier little beasts in the beginning than any kitten.  Love is not having someone hang all over you. It's accepting each other for who we are. Human and animal.

I have to disagree with this, at least the "love is not having someone hang all over you" part. People and cats show affection in different ways, and it's important that the wants of both parties are met. It sounds a bit weird to apply the typical love languages concept to cats, but it does work in a way. If Waffles feels love from her cat via physical contact, that's totally fine. Maybe her kitten prefers something else.

But I agree that another cat may not be the best idea yet. 6 months is young, and time will tell if he's a lap kitty or not. Hang in there!

 

[misterwhiskers]

My cat is half Ragdoll, and it took about...a little over a year for him to sleep next to me on the sofa. Now he regularly flops next to me--but he's not clingy. He's never been a "lap cat" but that's ok. Imo,maybe Ragdolls are too big to be lap cats? I mean, I can see a ten pound lap cat, but male Ragdoll cats can get huge-- 16-18 pounds would not be unusual. I also am constantly in motion and believe my cat simply grew tired of waiting around for me to stop fidgeting lol.

You are free to rescue a known lap kitty of course, and your cat may love the company--esp being a Ragdoll,but at 6 months your cats personality is not set in stone, especially for the breed,bc they are longer to mature. A kitten has a lot more energy than an adult, and of course they are brats lol. It's like having a 10 year old in the house!!

 

[donutte]

I don't care that you bought from a breeder (as long as they aren't a "backyard" breeder, but a proper breeder). I just personally never would. Those animals already have a home, they are not living their lives in a cage. Shelter cats, in large part, do live in a cage.

As far as your reasoning for wanting a pure-bred cat, that is what I can't wrap my head around. I've had cats my whole life, none of them were bought from a breeder. One did come from a breeder, but we didn't pay because the person that DID pay for her had returned her to the breeder (for throwing up on a carpet). Otherwise, the rest were strays or rescues, except for Penelopy who came from a shelter. All of mine were the home-equivalent of "sight unseen". I had no idea what their personalities or health would be like. Most lived long lives, a couple did not. None of it was related to how we acquired them.

Regardless though, what I think or understand (or not) doesn't matter. If you choose to buy from a reputable breeder, you are well within your right to do so. There are a lot of pure-bred animals out there that need homes as well because they are not "show-quality". Not sure if yours is or not, I just know that happens quite a bit with breeding. My sister used to breed dogs and buys her dogs from breeders because she shows them. She has never adopted from a shelter either.

 

[donutte]

Anyway, to get back on topic, I really would just give your kitty time, which it sounds like you will be doing.

 

[catpack]

I work for a rescue and don't have an issue with you getting a cat from a reputable breeder. It was when you said "...if I got attached to one and he/she died prematurely or unexpectedly I would be devastated." that led me (and I'm sure other members as well) to make the comments I did in regards to cat health.

I think any member here would be devastated to lose a cat at a young age. I've lost 2 personal cats at age 3.5, one to FIP and another to a degenerative brain disease. Both were lost very suddenly. And we were devastated by both.

With that said, perhaps looking into purebred adults or retired show cats might be a good option for you. This way you would have a better idea of their personality. I've not ever worked with a breeder; but, know sometimes they select the kitten for you and I am not sure how much interaction you are allowed to really have prior to taking them home.

 

[wafflesnomnom]

 
I have to disagree with this, at least the "love is not having someone hang all over you" part. People and cats show affection in different ways, and it's important that the wants of both parties are met. It sounds a bit weird to apply the typical love languages concept to cats, but it does work in a way. If Waffles feels love from her cat via physical contact, that's totally fine. Maybe her kitten prefers something else.

But I agree that another cat may not be the best idea yet. 6 months is young, and time will tell if he's a lap kitty or not. Hang in there!

I agree, 6 months is young. I am impatient lol, it was one of my biggest faults. 

My cat is half Ragdoll, and it took about...a little over a year for him to sleep next to me on the sofa. Now he regularly flops next to me--but he's not clingy. He's never been a "lap cat" but that's ok. Imo,maybe Ragdolls are too big to be lap cats? I mean, I can see a ten pound lap cat, but male Ragdoll cats can get huge-- 16-18 pounds would not be unusual. I also am constantly in motion and believe my cat simply grew tired of waiting around for me to stop fidgeting lol.

You are free to rescue a known lap kitty of course, and your cat may love the company--esp being a Ragdoll,but at 6 months your cats personality is not set in stone, especially for the breed,bc they are longer to mature. A kitten has a lot more energy than an adult, and of course they are brats lol. It's like having a 10 year old in the house!!

Yeah, I was also thinking that because he's long haired, he might just get too warm to be a lap cat. I tried to work around this by putting a soft ice pack wrapped in a towel on my lap and placing him on it... He did not like it lol! I wonder if I turn the heating down to freezing if it might make a difference... But I would be super cold though

I work for a rescue and don't have an issue with you getting a cat from a reputable breeder. It was when you said "...if I got attached to one and he/she died prematurely or unexpectedly I would be devastated." that led me (and I'm sure other members as well) to make the comments I did in regards to cat health.

I think any member here would be devastated to lose a cat at a young age. I've lost 2 personal cats at age 3.5, one to FIP and another to a degenerative brain disease. Both were lost very suddenly. And we were devastated by both.

With that said, perhaps looking into purebred adults or retired show cats might be a good option for you. This way you would have a better idea of their personality. I've not ever worked with a breeder; but, know sometimes they select the kitten for you and I am not sure how much interaction you are allowed to really have prior to taking them home.

Yeah that's what happened with Waffles. The breeder had a waiting list over a year long, so it wasn't an option to kind of have our pick of the litter, as every litter was already reserved before they were even born! It was whatever one became available first. 

 
If you want a lap cat, I'd highly suggest you go to the shelter and look for cats that are 3 years old or more. Look at the shelters description of them, they'll usually say if the cat "loves being in your lap all the time" or "not much of a lap cat, but loves playing with toys."  I wanted a lap cat, so I visited adult cats the last time I went to the shelter. I certainly got lap cats. I love it 90% of the time, but sometimes it gets annoying because I can't even read without a cat laying across my book. 

 One of the cats will sit on your lap and nuzzle/lick your hand until you pet her. Try using your phone with a cat licking your hand. I'll push them off of me, they jump right back up. Over and over and over... So be careful what you wish for.

Good luck!

I work at home and I sit down for hours and hours at a time, so I wouldn't mind having a lap warmer . I can see how if someone comes back from work and has things they need to get done or need time to decompress from work, that it would get annoying. Did you just go to different shelters and ask the people that work there which ones liked laps? Some of the descriptions are really vague at the adoption center I visit - they're like I am a friendly cat and would love you forever or variations of that for every one of them. Would they judge me if I was very adamant that liking laps and cuddling was the most important criteria? 

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it! 

 

[rubysmama]

Originally Posted by WafflesNomNom  

Yeah, I was also thinking that because he's long haired, he might just get too warm to be a lap cat. I tried to work around this by putting a soft ice pack wrapped in a towel on my lap and placing him on it... He did not like it lol! I wonder if I turn the heating down to freezing if it might make a difference... But I would be super cold though

I work at home and I sit down for hours and hours at a time, so I wouldn't mind having a lap warmer .

It's worth a shot turning down the thermostat.  Ruby is a lap cat, but more so in the cooler months when I have a throw over me and she jumps up on me with her cold feet.  Also, she sleeps with me in the winter time, again I think, when she gets cold.  Not so much in the summer.

Hmmm.... wonder if because you're home all the time, he doesn't feel the need for constant attention from you.   Ruby was much more needy for love when I worked long days.  

Maybe try closing the door to the room you're working in and seeing if Waffles gets curious.

Also, try making him jump up in your lap for treats.

 

[paiger8]

 
Did you just go to different shelters and ask the people that work there which ones liked laps? Some of the descriptions are really vague at the adoption center I visit - they're like I am a friendly cat and would love you forever or variations of that for every one of them. Would they judge me if I was very adamant that liking laps and cuddling was the most important criteria? 

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it! 

They won't mind at all! Shelters and rescues love it when you ask specific questions - because they really are interested in finding the right match for the cats. I actually looked on Petfinder.com and then searched all of the shelters in my area for cats that were "adults." (You can specify age, gender, breed, etc.) I just left all the options on "all breeds, all genders" then you type in your zip code. One great thing about Pet Finder, is you get to check all the rescues and shelters in your area, without having to visit them all every weekend. I was specifically looking for 2 "bonded" cats, of adult age. I wanted to adopt older cats and I wanted to adopt 2 at once, and know they'd get along.  I was able to check Pet Finder several times a week, and see new cats coming into the shelter, to see if any of them met my criteria. I ended up finding two 3 1/2 year old "Bonded Buddies" siblings that were being adopted together. One of my cat's descriptions said something like: "He is a big fan of cuddling in your lap, getting petted, and playing with stuffed toys and balls. He is a cuddly, fun guy who loves getting scratched under the chin. He has done well with other cats." 

There's more space for descriptions on a website, instead of trying to fit it on a little paper on a cage. Plus, some rescues do foster homes for their kitties, so the fosters really get a chance to know the cat's personality. 

 

[handsome kitty]

 
I agree, 6 months is young. I am impatient lol, it was one of my biggest faults. 

Yeah, I was also thinking that because he's long haired, he might just get too warm to be a lap cat. I tried to work around this by putting a soft ice pack wrapped in a towel on my lap and placing him on it... He did not like it lol! I wonder if I turn the heating down to freezing if it might make a difference... But I would be super cold though

Yeah that's what happened with Waffles. The breeder had a waiting list over a year long, so it wasn't an option to kind of have our pick of the litter, as every litter was already reserved before they were even born! It was whatever one became available first. 

I work at home and I sit down for hours and hours at a time, so I wouldn't mind having a lap warmer . I can see how if someone comes back from work and has things they need to get done or need time to decompress from work, that it would get annoying. Did you just go to different shelters and ask the people that work there which ones liked laps? Some of the descriptions are really vague at the adoption center I visit - they're like I am a friendly cat and would love you forever or variations of that for every one of them. Would they judge me if I was very adamant that liking laps and cuddling was the most important criteria? 

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it! 

No, you would not be judged for wanting a lap cat.  Shelters and rescues want the cats to go not only to good homes but the right home.  Cats are returned for numerous reasons, including not being a lap cat.  This is hard on the cat so matching personalities is key.

Are you sure the breeder didn't mean 'stay away from shelter cats until Waffles is vaccinated'?  That would make sense.

So about my kitties (LOL) Eclipse arrived as 10 weeks, major lap cat, until he hit 7 months. no longer a lap cat but will lay on the foot of the bed sometimes.  Fluffy is a 'failed foster'.  We fostered her to see what it would be like to have 2 cats.  She and Eclipse got on so well we adopted her.  She has been here 11 months.  Lately she has come up on the couch near me but her preference is in a cat tree in the same room.  I am still waiting to see what her personality is.  She does have a bit of tortitude going.  We also fostered Jennie who found a furever home with a wonderful girl.

I recommend fostering.  You will be helping other cats while you look for your lap cat.

 

[catpack]

If they judge you for wanting a cuddler, go somewhere else! With that said, you would also need to be open to the cat(s) they suggest. We'll often get people wanting certain traits in a cat, but want a cat other than the ones we suggest. Those types of matches often do not work out.

On the flip side of what you are looking for, I've actually had cats returned to me because they were TOO affectionate...go figure!

 

[wafflesnomnom]

 
It's worth a shot turning down the thermostat.  Ruby is a lap cat, but more so in the cooler months when I have a throw over me and she jumps up on me with her cold feet.  Also, she sleeps with me in the winter time, again I think, when she gets cold.  Not so much in the summer.

Hmmm.... wonder if because you're home all the time, he doesn't feel the need for constant attention from you.   Ruby was much more needy for love when I worked long days.  

Maybe try closing the door to the room you're working in and seeing if Waffles gets curious.

Also, try making him jump up in your lap for treats.

I've tried that, he will meow and cry like crazy the moment he can't be near me or if there's a closed door. Only exception is when I'm in the washroom with the door closed but my fiancee has to be outside with him. Otherwise I leave the door open LOL. 

 
No, you would not be judged for wanting a lap cat.  Shelters and rescues want the cats to go not only to good homes but the right home.  Cats are returned for numerous reasons, including not being a lap cat.  This is hard on the cat so matching personalities is key.

Are you sure the breeder didn't mean 'stay away from shelter cats until Waffles is vaccinated'?  That would make sense.

So about my kitties (LOL) Eclipse arrived as 10 weeks, major lap cat, until he hit 7 months. no longer a lap cat but will lay on the foot of the bed sometimes.  Fluffy is a 'failed foster'.  We fostered her to see what it would be like to have 2 cats.  She and Eclipse got on so well we adopted her.  She has been here 11 months.  Lately she has come up on the couch near me but her preference is in a cat tree in the same room.  I am still waiting to see what her personality is.  She does have a bit of tortitude going.  We also fostered Jennie who found a furever home with a wonderful girl.

I recommend fostering.  You will be helping other cats while you look for your lap cat.

Waffles was vaccinated fully when we picked him up so I don't think so. 

If they judge you for wanting a cuddler, go somewhere else! With that said, you would also need to be open to the cat(s) they suggest. We'll often get people wanting certain traits in a cat, but want a cat other than the ones we suggest. Those types of matches often do not work out.

On the flip side of what you are looking for, I've actually had cats returned to me because they were TOO affectionate...go figure!

And omg ***, who returns a cat for being TOO affectionate!!!!! Dkfjaldfjaljfadsf Give them ALL TO ME. 

On another note: WAFFLES LAID DOWN NEXT TO MY HEAD WHILE I WAS SLEEPING FOR ALMOST 5MIN AND PURRED AND LICKED MY NOSE AND THEN SLOW BLINKED AT ME. He's never done that for so long OR so close, usually it's like near me, never like right against my face. And then he wrapped his tail around me and did a little head rub FOR THE FIRST TIME. Someone is getting all the treats tonight I've also been bribing him with really tasty wet food lately sooo maybe that makes him like me more.

 

[kittens mom]

 
I've tried that, he will meow and cry like crazy the moment he can't be near me or if there's a closed door. Only exception is when I'm in the washroom with the door closed but my fiancee has to be outside with him. Otherwise I leave the door open LOL. 

Waffles was vaccinated fully when we picked him up so I don't think so. 

And omg ***, who returns a cat for being TOO affectionate!!!!! Dkfjaldfjaljfadsf Give them ALL TO ME. 

On another note: WAFFLES LAID DOWN NEXT TO MY HEAD WHILE I WAS SLEEPING FOR ALMOST 5MIN AND PURRED AND LICKED MY NOSE AND THEN SLOW BLINKED AT ME. He's never done that for so long OR so close, usually it's like near me, never like right against my face. And then he wrapped his tail around me and did a little head rub FOR THE FIRST TIME. Someone is getting all the treats tonight I've also been bribing him with really tasty wet food lately sooo maybe that makes him like me more.

He already likes you. You are just starting to establish a line of communication with him. he might like the treats but he will seek you out for far more than food.

 

[wafflesnomnom]

IMG_0822-2.JPG

• wafflesnomnom
• Jan 22, 2016

Just wanted to update everyone: Here is Waffles HOLDING MY FRICKEN ARM and purring!!! He was biting me literally 2 seconds before this and then decided to wrap his paws around my arm and fell asleep. We are making such amazing progress!!!! Look how cute that derp is! I think having little moments like this is definitely helping me with my 'needing a lap cat' urges. I can see the potential there and I'm so stoked to nurture it and hopefully we'll be inseparable in the years to come!

 

[margd]

Just wanted to update everyone: Here is Waffles HOLDING MY FRICKEN ARM and purring!!! He was biting me literally 2 seconds before this and then decided to wrap his paws around my arm and fell asleep. We are making such amazing progress!!!! Look how cute that derp is! I think having little moments like this is definitely helping me with my 'needing a lap cat' urges. I can see the potential there and I'm so stoked to nurture it and hopefully we'll be inseparable in the years to come!

Awwww.  That is so sweet.  I think Waffles loves you.

 

[rubysmama]

Awwww.... adorable.   Looks like Waffles is a love bug afterall. 

 

[jenny82]

That's super cute!!  

 

[onirin]

I dont think you would be judged for wanting a lap cat.

I went into the shelter telling them everytime I visited that a lap cat was what I was looking for.

Right away I'll warn you they told me, do not get a kitten.  A cat at about 2yrs old will have most of it's personality figured out.  So if I wanted a for sure lap cat a 2 year old was safer.  Anything younger could have the possibility of changing. A very affectionate kitten could become a loner by adulthood.

Anyways at 6 months all the personality could drastically change by adulthood, you MIGHT get your lap cat.

On the other hand (and I hope I'm not sounding mean) you choose this cat.  I'm sure you love them but you will probably have to get over this cat not being a lap cat and love them all the same anyways.  We cant force personality on our cats any more than our child.

If you do get another cat get an adult. visit them at the shelter and see if the cat gets on your lap.  Dont take a chance on a kitten unless your ready to love them flaws and all.

 

[wafflesnomnom]

 
I dont think you would be judged for wanting a lap cat.

I went into the shelter telling them everytime I visited that a lap cat was what I was looking for.

Right away I'll warn you they told me, do not get a kitten.  A cat at about 2yrs old will have most of it's personality figured out.  So if I wanted a for sure lap cat a 2 year old was safer.  Anything younger could have the possibility of changing. A very affectionate kitten could become a loner by adulthood.

Anyways at 6 months all the personality could drastically change by adulthood, you MIGHT get your lap cat.

On the other hand (and I hope I'm not sounding mean) you choose this cat.  I'm sure you love them but you will probably have to get over this cat not being a lap cat and love them all the same anyways.  We cant force personality on our cats any more than our child.

If you do get another cat get an adult. visit them at the shelter and see if the cat gets on your lap.  Dont take a chance on a kitten unless your ready to love them flaws and all.

Did you end up getting a lap cat? We went to shelters on the weekend and they were completely empty!! Usually they're stocked with like 20 cats at least. I'm super happy for the cats that got homes and also sad that I didn't get to see any myself. I hope Waffles doesn't change and get LESS affectionate when he gets older  

 

[onirin]

Hi,

I didnt mean to worry anyone by saying the kitten can change.  It was just a little advice if there is a certain kind of cat your looking for get an adult.  I've heard it is possible to "encourage" kittens to do things that stay with them to adulthood, but I've never had a kitten because I knew what cat I wanted.

Funny story about getting my lap cat.

I went to the shelter for about a month, once a week, seeing what new cats came in.  I always spoke to the voulenteers and told them the type of cat I was looking for.  I wanted a lap cat that was playful and didnt mind other cats if I choose to get another one later and had short hair.  Personally I really like "sleek" looking cats so wanted someone kind of small.

It came down to choosing between two wonderful cats (I couldnt take both at the time).  One was a total cuddler but didnt like to play much.  the other loved to play but they told me she wasnt much of  a lap cat.  I actually chose the playful not lap cat because after visiting her 3 times she always called out to me, meowing and being so cute. 

She was certainly not a lap cat.  You could handle her very well but if you sat she would jump off.  

I go to the Humane society and mine has pet pal notes.  People that come in the play with the cats leave notes on what they thought.  The public is allowed to read those notes (Its right next to the cats bio paper) so I could see how the cat did with other people. Its a great idea because not all voulenteers at the time has had the chance to play with all thee cats yet but with the notes you get a good idea of what others have thought.

I understand the happy/sad feeling of not may options in the shelter. When we went looking for our second cat we wanted a boy, but all cats were either kittens, not the right fit, or too old (like 10+ years and Im not ready to take on a senior cat with medical problems).  Hand in there and keep visiting Your purrfect cat is sure to come along.  Our second cat was worth waiting for and the many visits till they showed up.