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- Aug 14, 2013
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Sorry about the typo in the title! Can't seem to edit it.
Hi, everyone. Please help me because I know I've been doing everything wrong.
Background
We originally had 2 cats, Mango (M) and Tulip (F). They are 7 years old. We got Mango when he was 8 months and he integrated very peacefully into the household of Tulip + our other cat (now deceased). Mango and Tulip are not best friends (do not seek each other out) but there are no issues with them.
Situation
Stupidly, I decided to get another cat, Summer (5 year-old female). I kept Summer separated from everyone, did the scent swap, fed them outside the door together, and there was no growling or hissing. Mango just seemed curious. The first times they met F-to-F they both seemed anxious and there was no growling on the part of Summer, but Mango would hiss. Then, I fed them together and Mango seemed totally fine eating with her, but Summer would just watch. However, as soon as he was done eating, he would attack Summer in an ugly way (fur flying). This happened a few times. (I should not have let it!) I moved Summer to a different part of the house. She is now very nervous around Mango. He eats in front of her (with the door cracked), does not hiss, etc. She growls when she sees him. Yesterday I had him in her room and he ate, used the litter box and she just watched very nervously. BUT as soon as he has true access to her, he changes completely and attacks.
Today I thought "maybe" if they just happened to meet on sort of neutral territory it would be OK. WRONG. Horrible. She was just minding her business and he attacked. I cannot let this happen again. I know I rushed this.
In the meantime (long story) we got another cat, Indy (over a yr). Tulip, Summer, and Indy are all doing fine together when they are free/Mango is put away. Mango does fine with Indy (there was hissing and chasing but never attacking-- now they seem like they are moving closer to just playing).
Anyway, tell me EXACTLY what to do. I will follow it to the letter. I know I need to start all over again. Just really, really hoping that I did not mess things up permanently. I do not care if this process takes a year-- I can be very patient. It took 6 very long years to housebreak my dog, but YES, we did it. He was perfect by the end of 6 years!
BTW, Mango and Summer have been wearing those calming collars for the past 2 weeks. I also have a Feliway diffuser plugged in but have seen no change. And, of course, all cats are spayed/neutered. I have considered getting the Spirit Essences but not prepared to waste $60, though I totally would if they worked. Mango was away from his mom at 3-4 days old (left on a truck) so perhaps he does not respond to pheromone therapy? We also have been doing a LOT of playtime with all the cats (da Bird and laser esp) to try to get aggression out in a good way.
Hi, everyone. Please help me because I know I've been doing everything wrong.
Background
We originally had 2 cats, Mango (M) and Tulip (F). They are 7 years old. We got Mango when he was 8 months and he integrated very peacefully into the household of Tulip + our other cat (now deceased). Mango and Tulip are not best friends (do not seek each other out) but there are no issues with them.
Situation
Stupidly, I decided to get another cat, Summer (5 year-old female). I kept Summer separated from everyone, did the scent swap, fed them outside the door together, and there was no growling or hissing. Mango just seemed curious. The first times they met F-to-F they both seemed anxious and there was no growling on the part of Summer, but Mango would hiss. Then, I fed them together and Mango seemed totally fine eating with her, but Summer would just watch. However, as soon as he was done eating, he would attack Summer in an ugly way (fur flying). This happened a few times. (I should not have let it!) I moved Summer to a different part of the house. She is now very nervous around Mango. He eats in front of her (with the door cracked), does not hiss, etc. She growls when she sees him. Yesterday I had him in her room and he ate, used the litter box and she just watched very nervously. BUT as soon as he has true access to her, he changes completely and attacks.
Today I thought "maybe" if they just happened to meet on sort of neutral territory it would be OK. WRONG. Horrible. She was just minding her business and he attacked. I cannot let this happen again. I know I rushed this.
In the meantime (long story) we got another cat, Indy (over a yr). Tulip, Summer, and Indy are all doing fine together when they are free/Mango is put away. Mango does fine with Indy (there was hissing and chasing but never attacking-- now they seem like they are moving closer to just playing).
Anyway, tell me EXACTLY what to do. I will follow it to the letter. I know I need to start all over again. Just really, really hoping that I did not mess things up permanently. I do not care if this process takes a year-- I can be very patient. It took 6 very long years to housebreak my dog, but YES, we did it. He was perfect by the end of 6 years!
BTW, Mango and Summer have been wearing those calming collars for the past 2 weeks. I also have a Feliway diffuser plugged in but have seen no change. And, of course, all cats are spayed/neutered. I have considered getting the Spirit Essences but not prepared to waste $60, though I totally would if they worked. Mango was away from his mom at 3-4 days old (left on a truck) so perhaps he does not respond to pheromone therapy? We also have been doing a LOT of playtime with all the cats (da Bird and laser esp) to try to get aggression out in a good way.
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