Re-Introduction: Please Help with New Cat

[anele]

Sorry about the typo in the title!  Can't seem to edit it.

Hi, everyone.  Please help me because I know I've been doing everything wrong.

Background

We originally had 2 cats, Mango (M) and Tulip (F).  They are 7 years old.   We got Mango when he was 8 months and he integrated very peacefully into the household of Tulip + our other cat (now deceased).  Mango and Tulip are not best friends (do not seek each other out) but there are no issues with them.

Situation

Stupidly, I decided to get another cat, Summer (5 year-old female).  I kept Summer separated from everyone, did the scent swap, fed them outside the door together, and there was no growling or hissing.  Mango just seemed curious.  The first times they met F-to-F they both seemed anxious and there was no growling on the part of Summer, but Mango would hiss.  Then, I fed them together and Mango seemed totally fine eating with her, but Summer would just watch.  However, as soon as he was done eating, he would attack Summer in an ugly way (fur flying).  This happened a few times.  (I should not have let it!)  I moved Summer to a different part of the house.  She is now very nervous around Mango.  He eats in front of her (with the door cracked), does not hiss, etc.  She growls when she sees him.  Yesterday I had him in her room and he ate, used the litter box and she just watched very nervously.  BUT as soon as he has true access to her, he changes completely and attacks. 

Today I thought "maybe" if they just happened to meet on sort of neutral territory it would be OK.  WRONG.  Horrible.   She was just minding her business and he attacked.  I cannot let this happen again.  I know I rushed this. 

In the meantime (long story) we got another cat, Indy (over a yr).  Tulip, Summer, and Indy are all doing fine together when they are free/Mango is put away.  Mango does fine with Indy (there was hissing and chasing but never attacking-- now they seem like they are moving closer to just playing). 

Anyway, tell me EXACTLY what to do.  I will follow it to the letter.  I know I need to start all over again.  Just really, really hoping that I did not mess things up permanently. I do not care if this process takes a year-- I can be very patient.  It took 6 very long years to housebreak my dog, but YES, we did it.  He was perfect by the end of 6 years!

BTW, Mango and Summer have been wearing those calming collars for the past 2 weeks.  I also have a Feliway diffuser plugged in but have seen no change.  And, of course, all cats are spayed/neutered.  I have considered getting the Spirit Essences but not prepared to waste $60, though I totally would if they worked.  Mango was away from his mom at 3-4 days old (left on a truck) so perhaps he does not respond to pheromone therapy?  We also have been doing a LOT of playtime with all the cats (da Bird and laser esp) to try to get aggression out in a good way.

 

[catspaw66]

The method that is recommended by this site is here. www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats This method has been used by hundreds of members over the course of several years. It is not guaranteed, but is effective almost all the time.

Welcome to TCS

Try doing the suggested things (most of which you are already using) and keep asking questions and giving updates. Also, please post some pictures of your furkids. We love pics.

 

[anele]

Thanks for the link. I happened to read the article before posting. The problem is that the scent swap goes fine. Mango just looks curious. Even through the door-- curious. I put him in a carrier to see Summer and he is relaxed. Even when he ate around her, it was fine. The other day he came in to her room (supervised visit) and he smelled her, they hissed, but I distracted him with food so he ate, and then I had him leave. I guess I need to keep doing this, very slowly, and work my way around the house so no area is a surprise. I think I will wait several weeks before they even see each other again, however. This will give Mango more time to get back into the routine and fully settle in with Indy. Summer can then regain confidence. I think I will put him in a harness, too when they meet every time. I just hope I did not cause permanent damage.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I think this all sounds good; but I am not sure about the harness. I've never used ones on my cats so I can't speak about that idea. But the rest I do think sounds like a good way to go.  Good luck!  And please do update us! 

 

[katluver4life]

It is never too late to do reintroductions.

Scent swapping with the use of foods works very well. When doing this, have a towel with both their scents on it placed under the door with half of it sticking out on both sides. Feed them ON this towel. Refresh the scents often, at least a couple of time a day. Using a single grooming brush on each of them also helps them associate good feelings when around the others scent.

When Mango looks like he's going for Summer, break his line of site and distract him with a toy he loves.

Do room swapping also, allow Summer in Mango's room, playing with her and feeding her in there using the towel under the door step. This will make Summer get comfortable with Mango's scent, and break any territorial issues.

Go slow, it can take months, hopefully not, but with some cats it does. Please DO keep us updated and hope this helps some.

 

[anele]

Mooch, I never used a harness before, either!  We got one when we got our 4th cat from her previous owner/guardian, so tried it out on Mango for a bit (indoors).

Katluver, thank you for the inspiration!  I am having a hard time getting Summer to actually sit on a blanket for the scent swap.  She prefers a cool floor.  BUT, what I did was use her fur from brushing her and rub it all over Mango.  I did the reverse as well.  Then, I put her fur near his food/water dish.  I am going to have to work on the feeding/scent more . . .so far it has just been treats.

Yesterday I cracked the door a bit and Mango just calmly stared at Summer.  Summer growled.  I KNOW that if I let them together, that Mango would be the one to go after her . . .I don't understand it.  It is not play with him, however . . .

Anyway, the main problem now is that Summer will not come out of the room at all.  She was much braver before the last attack-- that was when she came down the stairs and Mango attacked her.  I do not blame her one bit.  So, we are basically MUCH further behind than when we initially brought her home.  She was curious and felt safe.  I feel so bad for her, that I did this to her.  Ugh.  I don't care if this takes awhile . . .I am just afraid of permanent (mental/emotional) damage.
 

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Kitties are pretty forgiving if you work at it. Or should I say aim to do differently. Do remember they pick up on our anxiety; so if you are stressed she will think there is something to fear.

 

[anele]

I am back with a pretty good update.  I meant to keep a journal of each step to remind myself that what seemed like "weeks" would really only be a few days.  (Patience, patience!)

I tried doing scent swapping with the blanket but simply could not get the female (Summer) to sleep on it/be on it for any length of time.  I did use it for feedings a few times.  I would also brush each cat and use the fur I got to rub all over them, and also leave it by each other's food bowls.

Anyway, what has REALLY been working is a combo of the harness and large crate (we inherited both from the 4th cat, Indy, that we adopted recently, mentioned above).  So, I put Mango on the harness and fed him twice a day. Summer would watch him eat.  At no point did he try to go after her.  He doesn't like the harness, so it freaks him out a bit . . .I make sure to do it when it's very quiet/calm.  Summer growls when he gets too close.   Alternately, I would put Summer in the cat crate (not carrier) and let Mango free.  He was very, very curious about her . . .would proceed slowly towards her, ears forward, no swishing tail.  He would sometimes tentatively put his paw in the crate.  Summer hates this and would growl, feel very anxious, etc. but as he would move away, she would relax a bit.

Summer still was not coming out of her room ever (we'd have the door open for 12 hours) so I started putting her different rooms and repeat the whole harness/crate thing in each room for a few days.  She is finally in our living room since yesterday (I had to bring her here) with Mango put away.  She is starting to relax in here-- looking out the windows, relaxing on the couch, etc., but she still won't cross the LR threshold.  (It's amazing to me how cats have a sense of the threshold in every room-- I've seen this consistently with all cats.) 

I just brought Mango out on his harness to feed him, and my DH accidentally spooked him (crossed over our gate and it worried Mango), so after he ate he made a beeline back into my bedroom, where I am keeping him.  Summer would not eat in front of him, but did shortly after he left. 

So, I am going to continue on with the crate and harness.  When it gets to the point where there is about no growling, I will have a very short "free" visit, ready with a blanket.  I am not sure how long it will take for Summer to stop growling.  She never instigates ANYTHING with the other cats from a contact point of view, but she growls at them when they get too close sometimes . . .not always, though.  I am curious as to why Mango now has zero hints that he will attack her.  Is it because he knows he can't?  Will he once he is free?  Could it possibly be the calming collar???   I hope he is actually getting used to her . . .

We are also going to get a cat tree soon to help with vertical space!
 

 

[anele]

Sigh.  So many issues with 4 cats! 

Our living room, where Summer is, has a fence/gate because of our toddler.  No one but Mango can jump over it.  Anyway, when we let Indy in, she bothers Summer a lot-- most of the time Summer can handle it, but she is SPECIFICALLY trying to bother her when she uses the litter box.  Thankfully, we can kick Indy out so that Summer can have peace, but will this ever improve????

Why is everyone picking on Summer??????