Quitting smoking....

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Nes

He's tried the pills but it did NOT go well. He's tried that patches before but doesn't like them. Does anyone have anything else that will work? We're going to get him some sugar-free candy and he has gum.

Good for him for deciding to take the plunge.

What pills did he try?

If you read through this thread, there are many, many suggestions of things to do instead of smoking. That would save us having to retype them, plus we may miss some.

Just reading this thread alone, would help....read other peoples stories about qutting....read stories of COPD, of hospitalization, of tears and hope. That might help and that's what this thread is here for.... as an inspiration to others..... but it needs to be read to be inspiring.

Lots of suggestions in it too.

As for him being cranky...it happens. Supporters need to realise that that is part of being a supporter... dealing with the crankiness. It's not easy, but, you can't blame or get angry at the person who is quitting...you need to find your own way to deal with his crankiness...... thats in this thread as well.

My story is through these pages. Cat's story is in these pages... As are many others, as well as word of encouragement for both the quitter and the supporters.

Take the time to read it, it is worth it.

Depending on which pills he tried, search for "champix"....to read my experience with those.... It was not a pleasant one for me, but I did it, and have quite for 3.5mos now because of those pills. Thing is, unless you are having really horrible, life threatening side effects, if you don't stay on the pills for at least a week, you won't know if they work or not. Yup there's side effects, some people get them, some don't. I did, but stuck through it even though people suggested I quit taking them....my will was stronger, and once the level of meds stabalized in my system I was fine. If you have any ?'s on Champix, please post in the champix thread.... I'd be happy to help if I can...as well as others who have used it.

I don't come to this thread much, and I know some others don't.... taking bout it, at this point in time, still makes me think bout smoking. But my story, my struggles and determination is still thru these pages.

good luck.

 

[nes]

I know I post then, read :S silly me! I'm working my way thorugh 29 pages is ALLOT...

He was on Champix, it was terrible, very depressed & just not himself. Whereas his friend used them and was smoke free in 3 weeks and that was months ago (although he's now a "casual" smoker

).

When he gets cranky I try to kick him out of the house to go cool down outside, but he'll come storming back in to think of something else to start yelling and screaming about. Maybe it's better he quits before our kids get any older!!

He just needs to be grumpy, I get that, but that doesn't mean I want to be around him!!

Right now I'm in charge of his last pack so he has to be nice to me!

but between a quiting smoker, and a pregnant woman with raging hormones, this place is going to be NO fun for a few weeks...

 

[otto]

I celebrated 10 years cigarette free three days ago.

How did I ever do it? I don't know. My sister and I did it together, it was her 4tyh try, my first and only.

We both took the Zyban. I used the patch, she did not. I cried non stop for a month.

The cravings and longings did not leave me for six yeatrs, but then finally they did and I no longer miss it. But it did take six years.

My sister and I gave the nicotine addiction a persona. The addiction was the devil, an evil being that we were not going to let triumph over us.

I spoke to it daily, hourly, cursing it and swearing it would not get the better of me.

Having a partner was the clincher for both of us. We emailed each other fifty times a day if needed. Neither of us would give in, because that would mean letting the other down.

I still sometimes can't believe I did it. It's my biggest accomplishment, right up there with learning to drive (at age 35) and socializing Mazy cat <s>.

My heartfelt congratulations to all who have had success, and to those still struggling, don't ever give up. Knowing you've won is the greatest feeling in the world.

It is Freedom from the Slavery that is nicotine addiction. No more worrying about if you will run out of cigarettes before you can get out to get more. No more worrying in any give situation, how will you manage to have a smoke. NO more stink. No more smoker's cough. Ahhhhh....it's heaven!

It is one of the hardest things you will ever do.

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Nes

I know I post then, read :S silly me! I'm working my way thorugh 29 pages is ALLOT...

He was on Champix, it was terrible, very depressed & just not himself. Whereas his friend used them and was smoke free in 3 weeks and that was months ago (although he's now a "casual" smoker

).

When he gets cranky I try to kick him out of the house to go cool down outside, but he'll come storming back in to think of something else to start yelling and screaming about. Maybe it's better he quits before our kids get any older!!

He just needs to be grumpy, I get that, but that doesn't mean I want to be around him!!

Right now I'm in charge of his last pack so he has to be nice to me!

but between a quiting smoker, and a pregnant woman with raging hormones, this place is going to be NO fun for a few weeks...

I had issues, some severe issues with Champix but I stayed on them. It doesn't help that I have dysthmania (can't spell it, but it means chronic depression) and panic disorder, along with my health issues.

I did not stay on them for the full 3mos because I missed a dose, and that cycled me back to the beginning with side effects and such, so I quit taking them. I quit smoking on day 8, and quit taking the pills around 2wks.

For me, if it wasn't for the pills, I would not have quit. I am NOT saying they work for everyone... I'm just saying that they need to be given a chance to stabalise in your system, and if the side effects don't go away and are not liveable, then quit taking them.

Ask your doc about the pills too.... how long was he on them??? Some people cannot make the increases, and need to stay on the lower dose.... It still works if done that way.

And no, you may not want to be around him but..... he needs the support. Heck, my hubby as stuck by me through med withdrawals (not fun when it lasts bout 6mos, and you experience psychosis amongst other thing), quitting smoking, and my most recent, a withdrawal from narcotic painkillers. It was hard on him for sure, and I guarentee he did not want to be around me either.... I mean who would when someone is borderline abusive because of med withdrawal (the 6mos one)....but he did, and surprisingly, he only blew up at me once during the whole thing.... He knew it wasn't me talking...it wasn't me saying those mean things.... it was the antidepressent getting out of my system 4 or 5yrs ago. (one reason why I will never go on em again, as well as I knew ahead of time that Champix would give me side effects but it was worth the risk for me and it did pay off).

29 pages isn't alot when you think of a lifetime of COPD, or a shortened life due to lung cancer..... Let him read it.....

 

[nes]

I don't really remember the Champix, might have even been a year ago.

I just wish he had the self control you guys did to slowly cut down - but he's tried that a ton of times and it's never worked. I REALLY hope his dad quits with him, I think that would be really good for him (he did try to quit the same time his parents did); but his Dad smokes when he's stressed and having a 4th family member die in the last 3 years or so on top of his wife's BC... he's not doing too well.

I really like the idea of saving the money he's not spending

. Although if I sits in a jar on the couter it will get spent so I may have to start a separate bank account, which would be easy enough!

I don't think my attitude about the whole thing helps. I had 3 grandparents die of lung cancer and have never even been tempted to pick up a cigarette! But I honestly believe if I did smoke it wouldn't take anything more then my son to make me quit. It's stupid of me to think it should be the same for my husband, but I just can't get over that belief. Yes, I have heard it's harder to quit then heroin. I have a hard time believing that one too. Sorry

I guess I'm just a judgmental non-smoker.

It really doesn't help hubby that's he's in construction so EVERYONE smokes. At least he's headed to school so he doesn't have to be around it all the time in another month, but that's how he made friends last year! Going out with the smokers

.

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Nes

I don't really remember the Champix, might have even been a year ago.

I just wish he had the self control you guys did to slowly cut down - but he's tried that a ton of times and it's never worked. I REALLY hope his dad quits with him, I think that would be really good for him (he did try to quit the same time his parents did); but his Dad smokes when he's stressed and having a 4th family member die in the last 3 years or so on top of his wife's BC... he's not doing too well.

I really like the idea of saving the money he's not spending

. Although if I sits in a jar on the couter it will get spent so I may have to start a separate bank account, which would be easy enough!

I don't think my attitude about the whole thing helps. I had 3 grandparents die of lung cancer and have never even been tempted to pick up a cigarette! But I honestly believe if I did smoke it wouldn't take anything more then my son to make me quit. It's stupid of me to think it should be the same for my husband, but I just can't get over that belief. Yes, I have heard it's harder to quit then heroin. I have a hard time believing that one too. Sorry

I guess I'm just a judgmental non-smoker.

Honestly, you'd be quite surprised how hard it is to quit. I did quit when I was pregnant with my first child. But started again. I did NOT quit when pregnant with #2 (not proud of that). I hid smoking from my kids, up untill my workplace accident then I smoked at home (not in my home, but outside.... I do not believe in smoking in the home or vehicles with kids or other non-smokers)

I have never had to withdrawal from heroin so I can't directly compare them. But, I have had to withdrawal off of opiates (same class as heroin) and I will say that the withdrawal from smoking lasts a whole lot longer. I had 7 days of utter hel(l) with the opiate....whereas with smoking I can't say it was hel(l), more slightly uncomfortable but it lasts longer.... 3.5 mos and I still occassionally crave. Less time than that since I detoxed off of one opiate, and I do not need it anymore (mind you I am on a different opiate now). Scary thing is, I was NOT addicted..... I was dependent on these meds, but not addicted....there's a huge difference between addiction and dependancy. I did not crave a med in between doses. I did go through physical withdrawal when I quit taking them. I did not go through the mental withdrawal as I was taking the meds due to needing them, not wanting them.


So yes, I do believe it is harder than heroin due to the length of time the withdrawal effects occur.

The only thing that I would say is harder IMO, was my horrid withdrawal off of Effexor. Spent many years on a high dose, 3months of tapering, 3mos off the med before I was through the horrid side effects.... 6mos of horrible horrible stuff....and continued with minor side effects for bout a yr after.

That to me, was harder than quitting smoking..... I'd rather go through opiate detoxing 10times over than quit smoking again....only because I know that it will be 7-10 days (of pure hel.l.), then I'm free. I'm still not free from smoking.... not yet anyways.

I'm not trying to pick on you...but you said it, in that your attitude doesn't help. I can understand why you act the way you do though.....seriously, with 3 people dying of lung cancer, yup, I can see why your attitude is slightly negative.

I'm just trying to say, that..... just like with alcoholics, drug addicts, or any other addiction, the supporters have to try to turn the other cheek. Let things slip by you in order to support. Its not easy but in the long run it would be worth it.

Nothing you are saying is stupid..... seriously, and I hope you don't think that I'm getting mad. I'm not. I'm trying to help you understand how difficult breaking an addiction is. My husband has never been addicted to anything in his life.... complete opposite of me. I have been addicted to several things, from crack to cigarettes to prescription meds that I abused when on street drugs. Addiction is difficult, and without support, it is close to impossible to quit.

One thing through all my smoking quits that I learned is that you will never quit for good, untill you want to.... It was ummmm4,5, or 6 quits before I quit this time. One of those quits was 2yrs, but in a stressful situation I thought I could have just one... NOPE. That's another thing. You can't have just one. Ever.

The jar on the counter is a great idea....didn't work for me cuz I didn't spend alot on smokes.... I bought bagged smokes at 12-14 for a bag...and smoked 1 to 1.5 bags/month...... so $20 a month didn't astound me.... Now if you buy em at $10/pkg, then yah..... I would have spent $80/mo.

I got a new camera from quitting smoking

I had to reward myself, and will continue to do so...when I hit 6mos, a year, 2yrs..etc.

(I'll respong to your pm later, k

My head is killing me, my hands are killing me, and I have one more post to respond to then lay down

)

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by Nes

I don't think my attitude about the whole thing helps. I had 3 grandparents die of lung cancer and have never even been tempted to pick up a cigarette! But I honestly believe if I did smoke it wouldn't take anything more then my son to make me quit. It's stupid of me to think it should be the same for my husband, but I just can't get over that belief. Yes, I have heard it's harder to quit then heroin. I have a hard time believing that one too. Sorry

I guess I'm just a judgmental non-smoker.

.

"you can do it if you really want to" is not necessarily true. Nicotine addiction is a vicious addiction.

My youngest sister has not been able to quit. Even when her middle child was born 4 months early, and he needed her breast milk...but they wouldn't take it unless she stopped smoking, even then she was unable to stop. She tried then. I know, I was with her every day. My nephew is a strong healthy 15 year old now, but I think to this day she still cannot forgive herself for being unable to stop smoking.

However I don't know what to tell you about how to be supportive. I live alone so did not have to cope with a non smoking family member who didn't understand. My sister, who quit with me, has a husband who had quit several years before. He did it apparently effortlessly, some people do I guess....for her it was a struggle.

Every person is different. Perhaps see if you can find an on line support group for the "other half" of a quitting person, maybe you can get some tips on how to be more supportive?

 

[yosemite]

None of it will matter until and unless he truly wants to quit. I tried unsuccessfully many times over the past few years to quit because I knew I should. I was also in denial about how bad my lungs and breathing were getting. I cut down to about 6-8 cigarettes a day in my last year of smoking but could not get down to 0.

For me it took 9 days in hospital because I couldn't breathe and had to go to the emergency department where they admitted me for those 9 days. At the time my brother was staying with us awaiting word on whether he was eligible for a lung transplant. He was on oxygen 24/7. When the hospital sent me home with an oxygen machine and my hubby saw my brother's machine in one corner and mine in the other, it scared him enough to quit. I had the 9 days head start because of course you cannot smoke in a hospital. We quit cold turkey and neither of us was really cranky, we just kept glancing in the corner at the oxygen machine.

Your hubby will not be able to quit until HE is ready, regardless of how much nagging, cajoling or anything else anyone says or even if he knows he should quit. I know, been there, done that.

I'll add him in my prayers for success defeating this monster.

 

[nes]

Originally Posted by Snake_Lady

...Nothing you are saying is stupid..... seriously, and I hope you don't think that I'm getting mad. I'm not. I'm trying to help you understand how difficult breaking an addiction is...

TRUST ME, it is FAR more helpful to talk to you guys about this then try to explain to hubby why I'm not always as supportive as I should be!! He doesn't get the: my family is dead from smoking you idiot!! PUT DOWN THE CIGARETTES!!!!!

Congrats on quiting to everyone who did *phew* 29 pages, that was a long one

.

Otto that story about your sister so freaks me out! Hubby has never smoked around me, not one day since I found out I was pregnant with Lucas. We'll pull over on the highway for him to get out and stand outside in the freezing cold to smoke - he's VERY good about that. His brother was 5 months premi too & was less then 1lb. Very lucky to have live 30+ years ago, his mom smoked all through her pregnancy. There was no question about hubby smoking anywhere near me.

Chris I'm so impressed you don't smoke through the pain any more! Good for you!! (go lie down!)

It wasn't just my 3 grandparents dieing of lung cancer, it was that they all died before I was 14. I got a pretty hard lesson on NOT smoking! Especially since only two of them smoked regularly, the other had only smoked when she was younger.

Grandkids are the reason Brad's mom quit smoking, and the reason she continues not to smoke, in her words she doesn't want to be a "smelly nana".

Unfortunately I didn't see any new ways for Hubby to try not to smoke

. He's done:
- cold turkey
- cutting down slowly
- patches
- champix
- lozenges
- cheap cigarettes that he HATES (got really close with those)

He won't do hypnosis, although I know that worked for a co-worker of his. He was REALLY tried a couple times in the past too, especially when our first born was on his way. It's so hard to stand by him and just watch him fail and fail and fail. The first 3 dozen times I was a complete cheerleader, everyday pushing him not to smoke; but I noticed myself, the last few times he's tried to quit it's more "rah, rah...

".

This quit has nothing to do with me, it's all about the bad news he got yesterday about his cousin. I think he's 56ish? Can't breath & is going downhill VERY fast. Scared the CRAP out of Brad.

I guess I'm just going to have to pull my pom-poms out of my *** and hope this time it sticks!

 

[otto]

I've "heard" that the more times you try, the better your chances are that one will stick. I don't know, it was my first and only. One of the things that kept me going through the rough first few years was the fact that I would never be ab le to do it again, so I didn't dare even have "just one". Plus of course, it would be letting my sister down.

For years I dreamed about smoking. Repetitive progressive dreams. In one dream I would somehow have bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked just one or two.

The next time I dreamed about it, I would be telling myself oh well the last time I smoked just one or two I didn't go back to it so it would be okay to do it again. And in each dream it was the same pack of cigarettes, and the pack would have that many fewer cigs in it each time.

Soooooo. Glad. I don't miss it any more. It's wicked. Took six years for the cravings to leave me.

 

[nes]

It's 10:30am and hubby's only had one!! I can't believe it, and I'm really starting to feel my real "RAH RAH RAH" come back!!

AND his dad is quiting too! They had a good talk about it & I think we're very soon going to have two more non-smokers in the family.

Of course if he does quit I have to buy him that STUPID atv and listen as he runs it in circles around our house... but gas fumes are a little safer then cigarettes right?

.

I'd better go buy him a good helmet....

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by otto

I've "heard" that the more times you try, the better your chances are that one will stick. I don't know, it was my first and only. One of the things that kept me going through the rough first few years was the fact that I would never be ab le to do it again, so I didn't dare even have "just one". Plus of course, it would be letting my sister down.

For years I dreamed about smoking. Repetitive progressive dreams. In one dream I would somehow have bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked just one or two.

The next time I dreamed about it, I would be telling myself oh well the last time I smoked just one or two I didn't go back to it so it would be okay to do it again. And in each dream it was the same pack of cigarettes, and the pack would have that many fewer cigs in it each time.

Soooooo. Glad. I don't miss it any more. It's wicked. Took six years for the cravings to leave me.

Congratulations! I won't even try ONE, but fortunately I haven't had any cravings so I thank the good Lord for that.

 

[nes]

OMG, just got the CRABBIEST phone call!! Poor guy. He had a legitimate reason to be upset about something at work but I was teasing him that I always have to say hello 2 or 3 times because he never answer me right away "WHAT? IT'S YOU!! NOT ME!! YOU ALWAYS SAY HELLO TO EARLY AND I CAN NEVER ANSWER YOU BECAUSE I DON'T HEAR YOU!!! IT'S ALWAYS YOU!!!"

*back slowly away from the phone...*

It's 3:30 and he's only had 2 today!!! 2 days ago he was smoking a pack of day.

How much longer is the crabbiness going to last??

 

[abbycats]

Originally Posted by Nes

How much longer is the crabbiness going to last??

I have to say that quitting smoking is really hard. I have been at it since May. This is the 3rd time I have quit. The other 2 times were for several years at a time. Your never out of the woods when your an ex-smoker.
If your husband is smoking only 2 cigarettes from 1 pack a day that is progress!!! Sometimes, I want to smoke so bad it drives me crazy!

 

[nes]

I sent him a text message "You are a strong and confident woman. You don't need to smoke"...

he called me back "You do realize you wrote woman right?" He didn't get it

.

(friends anyone?)

He NEEDS to get off work RIGHT now if we're going to get pet food, then he's supposed to go the Trailer Park Boys movie premier tonight

. I think he's going to miss it because he got left to finish up at a job site and he says he's got 5 hours of work left

. Not going to be in a good mood when he gets home...

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by Nes

I sent him a text message "You are a strong and confident woman. You don't need to smoke"...

he called me back "You do realize you wrote woman right?" He didn't get it

.

(friends anyone?)

He NEEDS to get off work RIGHT now if we're going to get pet food, then he's supposed to go the Trailer Park Boys movie premier tonight

. I think he's going to miss it because he got left to finish up at a job site and he says he's got 5 hours of work left

. Not going to be in a good mood when he gets home...

I got it right away and laughed out loud!

Don't say things like "how long is the crabbiness going to last", that is not a supportive comment. I mean, say it to us if you want, but not him. It will last as long as it lasts. It's a terrible thing to go through. I cried every day for at least a month.

I really think cold turkey may be the best way. The patch can help with the withdrawal. "one or two" quickly becomes three or four or ten. once again.

 

[nes]

That question was a real question for you guys - how long will he be THIS crabby?

A month?

It seems to be working! I think he's only had one today; but he's home sick because we were up all night with our son last night because he has a fever & now Brad has shingles AGAIN (got them last year at the same time).

It never ends around here...

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by otto

Don't say things like "how long is the crabbiness going to last", that is not a supportive comment. I mean, say it to us if you want, but not him. It will last as long as it lasts. It's a terrible thing to go through. I cried every day for at least a month.

I really think cold turkey may be the best way. The patch can help with the withdrawal. "one or two" quickly becomes three or four or ten. once again.

I agree - support not criticism is much more productive and nagging and complaining just drives the other person away or makes them hide things from the other partner. Unfortunately folks who have never had to go through the quitting and withdrawal have no idea what it is like and find it hard to understand. It's also much easier for some than others. Both hubby and I have been indeed fortunate in that it was fairly easy for us but we tried many, many times before unsuccessfully.

 

[cdubbie]

IMO cutting down instead of quitting all the way will just prolong the crabbiness and discomfort. So....if he "cuts down" for months and months he will never improve.

Everyone's quit is different. Mine has been just terrible. I did it CT with no plan. Mainly what got me thru was the thought of having to do it AGAIN - all that pain and discomfort, no sleep,etc, no thanks! It is worth it as long as I dont do it again!

I echo the point that he will quit when he wants to quit. There is no way around that. I'm shocked at ppl who have oral cancer yet keep relapsing. They try but "cant do it". People truly can, but only if they commit each day not to smoke. Just TODAY. I know very well how hard it is - I lived thru it - and still struggle with it at 7.5 mns (not just as long each day is it a struggle). I understand why people go back to the smokes, no matter their circumstances.

As long as your husband keeps cigs as an option...he might go back. Many quitters go thru accepting they can NEVER smoke again, no matter how bad things get. THat helped me thru some bad days...and the only way thru it is THRU it.

I got a lot of help at quitnet.com and from an addiciton counselor as well. If I did not have those two pieces I would have thrown the towel in at month 3 if not before (it got really hard around day 90 or so).

Best wishes to you.

 

[snake_lady]

Wow, its been a while.....

I hope all our quitters are still quit, maybe some new people have quit?


It has been 5.5mos since my last cigarette... and going strong. I feel very confident that this is my final quit

I passed a hurdle, well a couple of them... prior to my mom leaving, I went to visit and was nervous because she smoked. At first, yes I did kinda want one.... not bad enough to have one, or even a puff. That was hurdle 1.

Hurdle 2 was spending a week in the home of a smoker. I was not tempted at all, in fact I had a headache the whole time.

Both were hurdles because in my life now I'm surrounded by non-smokers... so the hesitance to be around someone smoking has been there. But I'm happy to say I didn't even think bout having one.

I hope to look back on this thread in 6mos and be celebrating one year of being smokefree.