Question of The Day. Saturday the 1st of April

[Norachan]

Good morning.

What is your biggest regret in life?

I have many regrets, as I'm sure we all do, but I think they can all be summed up the same way. I regret that it took me so long to work out what I already knew. Things would have been better if I'd gone with my instincts,

How about you, any regrets?

 

[neely]

My biggest regret is not finishing my Master's Degree.  One of my daughters became seriously ill and she was my priority.  Sometimes life throws you a curve ball but you have to put everything in perspective.  I can always go back to school if I want but taking care of my daughter was more important than anything else. 

 

[foxxycat]

I agree with Norachan. I let too much bull bother me so much it affected my mental health. It took me 3 decades to learn to not allow other people to take my happiness away. To learn to pull down that cage to guard my soul from bad things and negative people or people who are scammers. I have tuned up my BS radar to the point I can smell it a mile away now.

And my biggest regret was getting involved with someone at such a young age not listening to people tell me to not do what was done. But I know the past is the past but it still haunts me to this day. I would have taken a totally different direction in life had I been stronger emotionally. I was weak and unable to form my own opinions and was the type of person that went with the flow to deflect from anger from loved ones. Luckily I smartened up but it's too late. My life is pretty much over as far as getting married and having a family. The only thing I can do is continue to learn what I have been learning and try to help people find the answers to life's questions.

In the 1980s there was ZERO mental illness support or help available. My life would have been SOOO much different and I could be NORMAL with all the stuff that is expected. Marriage. Children. Good status job. etc. but I have to remind myself I did all I did on my own with no help..but it still

 me off that the people who inflict damage on a child's soul still walk free and they don't have to alter their lives. I hope they burn in the flames of hell when they leave this earth. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars evil soul Killers. That's my regret.

 

[jennifurr]

My biggest regret was leaving my part-time job at a zoo administrative building. My coworkers were like family to me, and I still miss them to this day. I left because I accepted a job offer that's closer to home. Unfortunately, I got laid off after almost a year due to downsizing. I went through a few more jobs, and I encountered problems from annoying coworkers to traffic to being overworked and underpaid. I tried to apply for jobs that I am interested in, only to be turned down every time. So I became a housewife who volunteers at a no-kill animal shelter. Although I am happier there, and my husband has a high-paying job, I feel meaningless without a job. I am on SSI (I have autism, as does my husband, and this is the first time I am sharing this here, so no nasty comments, please), but I only get paid almost $800 per month, which is not enough to live on.

I have many more regrets, but this one stands out the most.

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

 
 So I became a housewife who volunteers at a no-kill animal shelter. Although I am happier there, and my husband has a high-paying job, I feel meaningless without a job.

If you're volunteering at a no-kill shelter, you're a long way from, "meaningless" to the animals whose Lives you touch, and to those who eventually adopt those animals.   As to being an, "housewife," I've no idea when that word became shrouded in the mantle of deprecation, but maybe it's time that someone reminded you -  and the rest of the so-called "modern world" - of just how important managing an household is to a Family.  A "job," is simply doing something for strangers which happens to pay a few dollars into the bargain.  Managing an household - and the harmony and contentment of the other members of that household - is providing for your Family. 

There nothing more important in Life than the Family unit, despite what the television and the internet might try to tell you.  Don't kid yourself about what's meaningful and what's meaningless.  Being part and parcel to society has more meaning than any job ever could, and more value than all the gold in Christendom.

.

 

[Winchester]

Getting married at such a young age. It's hard to do that and even harder to become a mom at 16. I had my whole life ahead of me and I had to became a wife and a mom. I could have done so much more.....at least I think so. Young people need to think with the right head, if that makes any sense....not just boys, but girls, too. Especially as I've gotten older, I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like had I (and Rick, let's share the blame here) not been so stupid. 

And yes, despite loving Rick and my family, it was stupid. You have no idea how often I've wanted to go try to "find myself".

 

[SeventhHeaven]

I sold my T Bird for next to nothing

bought it almost brand new took forever

to pay it off, was flying to the Yukon for new job new life.

Never had kids, never married it's ALL Good

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Letting my friend set me up for my senior prom. :lol3:

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Marrying my first husband to piss my mother off.  I got two wonderful sons out of it, so there's that, but I did 14 years of misery.

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

i firmly believe that i waste my time by focusing on regretting things. yes, things would have been different in my life had i made different choices along the way, but my life thus far has made me the person that i am today.  and i'm fine with who i am today, i really like the person i am these days.

 

[di and bob]

I agree with the above, everything happens for a reason, and we have to stay focused on the present and the future. I have so many things I would do differently I can't even count them, but my biggest regret is bringing Chrissy outside when I went to get the mail.  Her death will haunt me for the rest of my life. 

 

[margd]

 
My biggest regret was leaving my part-time job at a zoo administrative building. My coworkers were like family to me, and I still miss them to this day. I left because I accepted a job offer that's closer to home. Unfortunately, I got laid off after almost a year due to downsizing. I went through a few more jobs, and I encountered problems from annoying coworkers to traffic to being overworked and underpaid. I tried to apply for jobs that I am interested in, only to be turned down every time. So I became a housewife who volunteers at a no-kill animal shelter. Although I am happier there, and my husband has a high-paying job, I feel meaningless without a job. I am on SSI (I have autism, as does my husband, and this is the first time I am sharing this here, so no nasty comments, please), but I only get paid almost $800 per month, which is not enough to live on.

I have many more regrets, but this one stands out the most.

Just a couple of comments -  ((((hugs)))) to you for having to deal with losers who give you a hard time over being autistic.  Send them to us. 

    

    Second, you do so have a job, in fact, you have two.   You have an important volunteer position in which you provide help to animals in need.  And you are working inside your home making a home functional and beautiful for you and your husband.  That is not easy work and it deserves much more respect than it often gets. 

  

I have so many regrets that I don't even know where to start plus everyone would be asleep before they finished reading them all.   I'll just give one:  I regret taking so long to learn about cats as I know that I could have done a better job with all the ones that come before Paul and Chula if I'd been more knowledgeable.  I worry now that my lack of knowledge may have caused them to suffer unnecessarily, especially towards the end of their lives.

 

[Primula]

My biggest regret is marrying my husband. He's not a bad man by any stretch of the imagination, but our marriage has been very troubled from the beginning. As I look back at our courtship in NYC, there were so many signs that I ignored or was blind to.

 

[Primula]

If you're volunteering at a no-kill shelter, you're a long way from, "meaningless" to the animals whose Lives you touch, and to those who eventually adopt those animals.   As to being an, "housewife," I've no idea when that word became shrouded in the mantle of deprecation, but maybe it's time that someone reminded you -  and the rest of the so-called "modern world" - of just how important managing an household is to a Family.  A "job," is simply doing something for strangers which happens to pay a few dollars into the bargain.  Managing an household - and the harmony and contentment of the other members of that household - is providing for your Family. 

There nothing more important in Life than the Family unit, despite what the television and the internet might try to tell you.  Don't kid yourself about what's meaningful and what's meaningless.  Being part and parcel to society has more meaning than any job ever could, and more value than all the gold in Christendom.

.

 

[Primula]

I regret taking so long to learn about cats as I know that I could have done a better job with all the ones that come before Paul and Chula if I'd been more knowledgeable.  I worry now that my lack of knowledge may have caused them to suffer unnecessarily, especially towards the end of their lives.

Margaret, I have the same regrets in this regard.

 

[Primula]

You have no idea how often I've wanted to go try to "find myself".

Pam, I don't know how you did what you did. Kudos to you. Cannot imagine the ruckus it would have caused if my parents had found me pregnant at 16.

Question: When you finally retire, why not take a year off ALONE to travel & find yourself? What would Rick think?

 

[Winchester]

Rick would probably divorce me on the spot. You have no idea how often I've wanted to go somewhere completely alone for a while. Not just a weekend, or a week. But for a while. Just for some peace, I think, more than anything. Some quiet time. Some "me" time. Rick gets to go away regularly because of his union trips. And I could go along, but I choose not to (the flying thing). But that means that I stay home and take care of the house and the cats and that never stops. He has told me several times to hit a B & B for a weekend. For some alone time and no responsibilities (cat or otherwise). And I'm too cheap to do it; well, I'm not being cheap, but I do think it's a waste of money...

I don't know.....it's a feeling-sorry-for-myself stage thing, I guess. I'm just really tired.

Jennifurr, nobody here would ever make fun of you for being autistic. My little nephew (he's 3) was diagnosed as autistic about a year or so ago and it's difficult. He had to re-learn how to eat, he had to re-learn how to focus and, honestly, it's only because he has absolutely devoted parents (my niece and NIL) that he has come as far as he has. They work with him daily. He attends a special school. And he's one of the sweetest kids around. I just love that little boy. 

It's pretty cool to volunteer to work with the animals and I'm sure they all adore you. You just keep on keeping on! 

 

[Primula]

He has told me several times to hit a B & B for a weekend. For some alone time and no responsibilities (cat or otherwise). And I'm too cheap to do it; well, I'm not being cheap, but I do think it's a waste of money...

It's not a waste of money. Sometimes I go to a luxury hotel downtown for the night. Hit the spa, watch junk TV, order in pizza. It's great to be pampered. To be honest, sounds like you're getting in your own way of getting away. [emoji]128526[/emoji]

 

[Norachan]

I have so many regrets that I don't even know where to start plus everyone would be asleep before they finished reading them all.   I'll just give one:  I regret taking so long to learn about cats as I know that I could have done a better job with all the ones that come before Paul and Chula if I'd been more knowledgeable.  I worry now that my lack of knowledge may have caused them to suffer unnecessarily, especially towards the end of their lives.

I feel the same way about the feral cats I take care of. I know I let a lot of them down in the beginning because I was so clueless. I really wanted to help them, but I'd never even heard of TNR. My method of helping meant feeding them until they trusted me enough to be lured into the house. Of course this meant litters born to too young mothers and kittens dying before I could get to them.

Wish I'd found TCS about five years early than I did.

 

[Norachan]

 
He has told me several times to hit a B & B for a weekend. For some alone time and no responsibilities (cat or otherwise). And I'm too cheap to do it; well, I'm not being cheap, but I do think it's a waste of money...

Do it! If you feel you could do with some alone time and some pampering then you've got to make sure you get some. A nice B&B for a weekend isn't going to break the bank and it will make you feel so much better.

You've been putting other people first since you were sixteen years old, by the sound of things. No one is going to begrudge you a weekend on your own if you want one.