Question about shy cat!!!

[paws4life]

What about putting her in the bathroom with te bix, food and a blanjet that sme,ls like you? our newest was a ferrial with little human interaction and she stayed in the spareroom for a few days once she staeted meowing i slowly gave her more apartment to explor... Shes 5 months and still hides sometimes but if you feed your cat 2-3 times a day and dont leave a dish down once it gets to know you and soon your kitten will come running for the food. We also dont pick up our gurl as shes nit comfortable so we pet her on her terms.. It takes a whilw but its woeth it the day amaya started puring and meowing my heart melted

 

[buckwheat]

congrats,

 

[betsygee]

 
Thank you for all you guys' help!
So over the past few days, she finally ate and used litter box at least once a day, which is good!

But I also found out that she comes out of the closet and becomes active when she realizes that I am in bed.

Yesterday, when I turned off the light and was about to go to bed, I saw her came out of the closet (room) and stayed in the living room.

Then later, I heard her running around the living room, playing herself with scratcher, and toy and also meowing. A little bit aggressive though, because one of the brand-new toys kinda got broken afterward.

BUT when I tried to play with her, she either ignores me or runs away. Even there was a moment when I tried to play with her a little wired toy hanging in the scratcher, she hissed at me.

Also, she still does not like to get petted. I tried to pet her fore-face , she does look like she is comfortable with it. Under the chin, she refused to get petted. One time, I tried to pet near the tail area, she hissed at me.

Today, it's been about a week and I think that she is now more comfortable with my home, but she still does not look like she is comfortable with me. I want a little more snuggle, affectionate cat, and I am a little bit frustrated. Do you think that she will eventually open up the shell? What should I do in order to build more relationship with her? One sad part is that I have full-time job so I do not get that much time to play with her during the weekday :/

Thanks again!

Wow, that's good news--sounds like you've made great progress in just a few days!  It can be hard when you just want to snuggle up with your cute little furball but patience is key.  

 

[katluver4life]

 
Definitely stick to just petting the top of her head, when cats are skittish they can scared when you pet near their tail because they can't see you and feel vulnerable. I would recommend just putting your hand out slowly towards her so she can sniff you and see you're safe. Instead of trying to pet her right away just sit down next to her when she's playing and read a book or something, so she can feel you out a bit. Also get a wand toy or a laser pointer - a toy you can interact with her but that she won't actually have to touch you. Eventually she will realize that when you're around it means play time and good things. Treats also help as well

I agree. Great tips!

Patience and time is key. Keep up the great work, she'll come around.

 

[whc216]

Hello All,

So it has been about a week since I have not posted any update. Nothing big really happened.

She started to come out of the closet more often, especially while I was on the phone, playing computer, or of course when I was about to go to the bed.

When she did, she usually came out for food, litter box, or often just wandered around a little bit, then went back to the closet.

She sometimes came out of the closet and sit in front of it, and just watched me for few minutes or hours. Then when I tried to approach her, she ran away, which looks like she wanted to keep some distance between us.

So far, what I have done was I sit near her, tried to read the book or talk to her (not looking at her). I took a nap (lay down on the floor) near her too.

I tried to play with her using wand toy (feather one), but I think she is scared of it. She usually plays herself while I was asleep (I saw the toy location changed when I woke up). But she is fine with laser pointer, which I tried to play with her as often as I can everyday. Oh and I also gave her some treats. When I put those on my hand, she did not eat, but when I put it in front of her, and not looking at it, she ate!

When I tried to pet her, she sometimes hisses at me though. I think it usually happened when she suddenly surprised herself when my hand was coming in to her. Sometimes, when I scratch her face, her ears go back, which I heard that she is still not confident enough or something. I want to hold her too, but I am scared that she is gonna hiss at me, or destroy all the effort I made over a week.

Now, it's been about 2 weeks and a half since I brought her, and I am happy to see myself with some slow progress, but I wonder when is she ever going to come and sit on my lap, purr-ing. Also I want to see her tail go all the way up! I guess I am expecting to be happen to soon.

 

[mar1na]

 
Hello All,

So it has been about a week since I have not posted any update. Nothing big really happened.

She started to come out of the closet more often, especially while I was on the phone, playing computer, or of course when I was about to go to the bed.

When she did, she usually came out for food, litter box, or often just wandered around a little bit, then went back to the closet.

She sometimes came out of the closet and sit in front of it, and just watched me for few minutes or hours. Then when I tried to approach her, she ran away, which looks like she wanted to keep some distance between us.

So far, what I have done was I sit near her, tried to read the book or talk to her (not looking at her). I took a nap (lay down on the floor) near her too.

I tried to play with her using wand toy (feather one), but I think she is scared of it. She usually plays herself while I was asleep (I saw the toy location changed when I woke up). But she is fine with laser pointer, which I tried to play with her as often as I can everyday. Oh and I also gave her some treats. When I put those on my hand, she did not eat, but when I put it in front of her, and not looking at it, she ate!

When I tried to pet her, she sometimes hisses at me though. I think it usually happened when she suddenly surprised herself when my hand was coming in to her. Sometimes, when I scratch her face, her ears go back, which I heard that she is still not confident enough or something. I want to hold her too, but I am scared that she is gonna hiss at me, or destroy all the effort I made over a week.

Now, it's been about 2 weeks and a half since I brought her, and I am happy to see myself with some slow progress, but I wonder when is she ever going to come and sit on my lap, purr-ing. Also I want to see her tail go all the way up! I guess I am expecting to be happen to soon.

That's great progress - I know it seems slow but you are doing great! Have you given her wet food at all? That's generally a great way to get a cat excited and it might get her to come a little closer to you. When you try to pet her just move very slowly toward her and keep your hand in a loose fist so she can smell you first or see you coming, don't try to pet her from behind as it will startle her. I would maybe try leaving some treats around the house out in the open so it forces her to move around a bit.

 

[buckwheat]

I've had buckwheat now 5mos and he still hiding what am I doing wrong?

 

[my-boy-jasper]

I've had buckwheat now 5mos and he still hiding what am I doing wrong?

Some cats are naturally aloof and don't like a lot of attention. Unless you've been scaring him, then I doubt you're doing anything wrong. I read you're post up thread and it sounds like you've been very patient. Can you describe a bit more about how he behaves when you're around him? Will he sit/sleep in the same room with you or does he run and hide when you enter the room? Will he play toys with you? Will he let you stand in the same room while he eats. Does he seem more anxious to certain things in his environment, like loud footsteps or loud voices? Even though you got him as a kitten, unless you know the home they came from, it's possible he lived in a scary place before you got him. This means it can take longer for some cats to learn to trust people.

What sort of things have you been doing to try and get him to come closer to you? My hunch is that you need to start slowly engaging with him more. Rather than patiently waiting for him, you start taking the lead but don't rush things. From my experience, shy cats need gentle encouragement and a bit of coaxing. Just like humans, the best way to get over fears is to confront it. If your cat is afraid of coming out and is never challenged then he might not learn there is nothing to fear. So playing with wand toys are good for shy cats because they can chase the toy without coming too close to you. Sitting on the floor can be less threatening. Sitting next to his hiding spot and reading out loud to him may help him to associate your voice with safety. And standing on the other side of the room while he eats and when he is comfortable with that, you move just a little closer each time. You can set up hiding spots that are near where you spend a lot of time. Maybe a few boxes in the living room that he can hide in and learn that your presence is not threatening. You can give him treats when he comes out of hiding. I'm sure there are loads more ideas.

 

[buckwheat]

Whats the differents between "ferel and or Shy?" I have a kitten/cat that I haven't been able to touch. He runs and hides. I believe he was poorly socialized, but its not my fault, what am I to do?

 

[whc216]

Over the past few days, I played with her a lot with laser pointer. It seems like that's the only one she is not scared of, and enjoys chasing it. Then she finally slowly came to me yesterday, said "meow" really little tone! She also seems like she does not mind I am moving around the apartment (She used to hide). I am so happy to see this slow progress. I will keep posted what's going on and what I've done. But I want to thank you all for the help!!

 

[mar1na]

 
Over the past few days, I played with her a lot with laser pointer. It seems like that's the only one she is not scared of, and enjoys chasing it. Then she finally slowly came to me yesterday, said "meow" really little tone! She also seems like she does not mind I am moving around the apartment (She used to hide). I am so happy to see this slow progress. I will keep posted what's going on and what I've done. But I want to thank you all for the help!!

SO glad to hear about your progress!

 

[lilin]

Don't give up!

Cats are really, really emotionally delicate. A lot of people think this is "aloof" or "not nice." It's not. It's what cats do when they don't feel like the humans want to bond with them. They protect themselves.

That doesn't mean she thinks that of YOU in particular, necessarily, but perhaps just people in general. Who knows what her impression of humans was like before she came to you. From the sounds of things, not all that good. Or perhaps just not enough of it. And while she's young, she's an adult-ish cat nonetheless, and she probably already has her own ideas about humans. Change will take time.

She wants interaction and affection like any other cat. But at this point, she may not be sure how or when to show it. She will also express that in her own unique way, whenever she does get there.

You may get a cuddler yet. Just be open-minded about what that is. It may be a lap cat. It may be a "sit next to you and purr like a motorboat" cat. But whatever it is, it'll be special.

I took in a shy kitty about 5 months ago. She wasn't quite so extremely shy in the first days as it sounds like yours is, but the first week was all hiding. She'd let me pet her, but only for a bit, and only with all four paws on the ground.

It was my first go with a shy cat from scratch, so to speak, and I also have this forum to thank for some good advice, but I just kind of tried to feel her out.

I sensed that somewhere inside her was a lap cat. I saw no evidence of it, but I felt it, and so I just kept on. I tried not to push her, but rather, to invite her, and made a very unmistakable statement of "yes!" to every request for closer contact she made.

She started hanging out by my desk a couple months in. So I made her a perch right next to my chair, at perfect petting height. She hangs out in it constantly now.

I figured out that she responds to "sign language." I can make a petting motion in the air, and she knows it's an invitation. She came to me scared of human furniture, so I invite her on it that way. She wouldn't come on it for a while, but after a couple months, she started to. Now she sleeps on my bed every night. The couch is still a work in progress, but she'll come if I invite her.

And about a week ago, I finally saw it. Her inner lap cat.

After 5 months, she tentatively crawled into my lap, looked at me, and laid down. And she stayed there. For 2 hours.

Today, she let me hug her for the first time ever.

Recently, I caught her nuzzled right up to me while I slept.

It's slow going. And I'm used to much more outgoing cats with no reservations about affection. But you know what?

It's so much more special with a shy cat. Because it's hard for them. It's a huge statement of their trust in you.

Look at how much progress your kitty's already made. That's a big deal for her. Keep that in mind. I mean, she meowed at you! She called attention to herself! In her head, that's probably a really big deal.

My kitty also has a problem with understanding interactive play. She'll play by herself just fine, but she doesn't quite understand someone wanting to play with her. Her foster said she also has this issue with other cats. She just doesn't quite get it, perhaps because she's not very trusting.

What helped for me was starting with super plain interactive toys. No glitter, no bells, no crinkling. All those things scared her. You know what I started with? A string. That's it. Just a string. My next step up from that? Just a brighter color string (to help her see it better). We have graduated to glittery now.

Give that a try. Start with having the end well on the ground, and just kind of slowly wiggling it around, not breaking contact with the floor, kind of snake-like. Nothing too crazy. Just a bit of motion. See if she responds to that at all.

Oh, and... don't give up!

 

[buckwheat]

Oh thanks so much. But is it safe that he not get a well check at the vet? I've had him 4 to 5 mos now. I can't get him into his taxi. I also want to have him fixed. I have no idea what to do. I Think monday I will call vet and see what he says about his well check. I will never give up on Buckwheat, ilov him