Question about shy cat!!!

[whc216]

Hi everyone!

So I recently adopted a young shy cat (my very first cat), and I have some questions about that.

Yesterday, when I first brought her, I opened the carrier, let her move around my apartment.

While I let her out, she did not really come out from the carrier, cautiously looking at me, so I decided to look somewhere else as if nothing is in my apartment, then during that time, she came out of the carrier and disappeared!!!

Since then, I did not even see her at all! When I went to bed, I was hoping her to use the litter box, eat food and something (I put everything in my apartment), but when I woke up this morning, no trace at all! I did not open the door or something that let her out, so she should be somewhere in my apartment,
but I am started to worry about that. I know she does that because she is scared, so I did not look for her in my apartment, giving her sometime to adjust. So now that I am away from my apartment (work), I am curious if she is going to come out and do something (like eating, using litter box and so on).

When I get back to my apartment after the work and if I don't see any trace, should I try to find her or leave her alone?

So I heard that she grew up with many other cats (10+) and owner mentioned that she was not really a cuddlier, affectionate, and so on. The owner also mentioned that he did not really hear her purring. Just pet her a little bit but because he has so many cats, he did not really spend too much time with her. So now that I have her and she is the only one in the house, I am also curious if her personality can change? As far as I saw her so far (Only when she was in the carrier), she was really quiet, and shy so I did not get to know her that well. Please help me about what I need to do!!!

 

[katluver4life]

Hello and welcome to TCS.

Congratulations on your first adoption and thank you for taking her in.  You DO need to find her. When you do, make sure she knows where everything is. Food, water, litter box. Sometimes it is best to confine a new kitty to one room with everything they need, until they get to know you some. When your in the room with her, sit down somewhere, speak to her quietly. You could even just read a book out loud, just so she hears your voice. You could even play some soft music for her. Let her set the pace and come to you on her terms. Have treats near that you can use to coax her out with hopefully.  You could also get a feliway diffuser to help ease her stress.

She could very well come out of her shell and do a complete personality change, now that she is an only cat and has no other competition to deal with.

Hope this helps and please keep us posted on her progress. We also love pictures around here.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

 
Hello and welcome to TCS.

Congratulations on your first adoption and thank you for taking her in.  You DO need to find her. When you do, make sure she knows where everything is. Food, water, litter box. Sometimes it is best to confine a new kitty to one room with everything they need, until they get to know you some. When your in the room with her, sit down somewhere, speak to her quietly. You could even just read a book out loud, just so she hears your voice. You could even play some soft music for her. Let her set the pace and come to you on her terms. Have treats near that you can use to coax her out with hopefully.  You could also get a feliway diffuser to help ease her stress.

She could very well come out of her shell and do a complete personality change, now that she is an only cat and has no other competition to deal with.

Hope this helps and please keep us posted on her progress. We also love pictures around here.

Great advice!  

I hope she has come out now.  It's a big change for her to move and suddenly be the only kitty!  It can take some time for her to fully settle in.  But I think if you do the things Katluver4life suggested it should help her along.  

  Please do keep us updated!

 

[betsygee]

One of the new cats we got a few months ago was SO scared and shy, the first two days she hid under a couch.  I put down food and water near her, but far enough away that she would have to come out a bit to get it, a little more each day.  Finally she came out.  Mooch's advice is good--I didn't try to force anything, just spent time with her, talked to her, let her move at her own pace.  It's taken six months but she is now getting to be more confident and affectionate.  She lets me pet her, doesn't run under furniture any more, and even comes to me and licks my hand now which is a big change!  

Keep working at it.  

 

[whc216]

Thank you for all the replies!

I finally found her yesterday! She was actually under my couch, which I looked at it before but I guess she blended well with the shadow that I was not able to see that well.

Anyway, so I tried to take her out of the couch. It was a little bit hard because whenever I moved the couch, she kept hiding under it. Eventually, I took her out, let her go to the litter box (put right above the litter box), but she ended it up running away and hide under my bed instead. I actually live in a small apartment that I have no space to put herself. Before I went to the bed, I put a food and litter box near her (actually I put food right in front of her).
 

Then while I was somewhat awake, I think she actually got out of the place (under the bed), and moved around a little bit. I heard something was dropping, moving, and etc...you know all those little noise cat makes. I also heard her meow-ing/crying or something like multiple times. Well I thought it was a good sign, hoping her to eat and use litter box too, but when I completely woke up, checking those stuff, I found out that she did not eat, and also she did not use the litter box at all! Also, she was once again  hiding under the couch.

I am started to worry that it has been already 1.5 days and she did not eat or use litter box. I was hoping her to do that while I was gone for the work  yesterday, and no luck! So is this a bad sign? What should I do in order to make her eat and use litter box? I know being patient is the best part, but at the same time, I am started to worry about her health and etc.

Thanks for your help again!

 

[katluver4life]

Since it's the couch she wants to hide under, then use that room as her safe place. Put her litter box near and also her food and water. Sit on the floor and do all those things already mentioned. She needs time and don't panic. She'll probably eat when no one is looking and all is quiet. She'll learn she's safe and start to come out when she's ready.

 

[buckwheat]

Ahhh...I feel for you. I have a cat, and he's 8mos old. He is very shy. I welcomed him with toys, liter box feeding bowls, scratching post, "Litter Attractan" for litter training (I use daily in fresh litter box). He is still shy, but not as much. He uses litter box with no elmination outside of liter box he eats out of his food dishes, and drinks water daily I hear him playing with his toys late in the nite I response's to his new new with a "meow" very softly its been 3mos now since I first got him. I have touched him, because he still runs, and hides. He just started walking beside me at fast pace to his hiding place. I've been blinking at him slowly ( books say it means I like you). I'm so ready to touch him, but in due time if he wasn't soooo pretty maybe things would different on my part. Not really, just kidding, lol. But he is beautiful put the food/water in your kittens/cat hidding place, and get you some. "Liter Attrant". And check on food supply, and litter box daily, and then just chill for me it's been along time, and quess just knowing he's in my home is enough for me this is my first cat, so I'm reading lots of books, and on online, even utube watching videos. I'm trying to treat him as if he's a ferel cat/kitten, and so far its working for us I'm learning so much oh another thing you could try is get an old t'shirt rub your body with it , and put it in his hiding place. I did that also well I wish you, and the memberof your home the best

 

[mar1na]

No need to panic! When I brought my cat home I barely saw her for first two weeks - just give her some time to adjust. When my cat was too stressed to eat I went and bought her wet food and put it in one of the spots I knew she liked to hide. She couldn't resist the smell of the food and she felt more comfortable eating somewhere she was hidden.

Do you have a Feliway Diffuser? It's a diffuser you plug in that releases endorphins into the air and helps calm down the cat, that helped a lot for Lily.

Just don't rush it, the advice you got was great - try to sit in the room with her and let her learn to trust you. It will get better

 

[buckwheat]

Does the Fellway work for shy/stressed cats/kitten. Is it a drug of some sort?

 

[mar1na]

Does the Fellway work for shy/stressed cats/kitten. Is it a drug of some sort?

Yes it worked wonders on my cat! When I first got her she wouldn't come out for 2 weeks and the Feliway really relaxed her.  It's not a drug, what it does is release cat pheromones into the air, similar to when your cat nuzzles you. 

 

[whc216]

Yesterday, when I got back from the work, she still has not eaten or used a litter box. I started to worry about that because it was about 2 days since I brought her.

I bought some toys (catnip and regular toys), as well as others, but it still does not look like it interests her.

I took her out of the couch, put on my lap, and tried to pet and talk to her. She seems fine for a minute, but I can feel that her body is shacking/vibrating or something because she got scared. (It was different than purring). When I let her go, she once again hide under the couch.

When I woke up this morning, I saw a mess on litter box. It looks like she went in and out, but I can't 100% say that she used it. I just saw some litter got spilled on the floor. I do not think she ate and drank though.

Other than that, during last night, I heard her meowing/crying crazily. I mean she continuously meowing in the middle of night, which caused me to wake up, and she did not stop at all until I call or make some sound. Two nights ago, she was meowing/crying too, but I think last night was even more than a night before. But whatsoever, when I got out of the bed and try to pet/find her, she hide under the couch again.

I am planning to buy feliway if the local store has one, but other than being patient, what do I really need to do? She did not eat and also meow crazily every night (that might create a noise to neighbor as well).

 

[mar1na]

 
Yesterday, when I got back from the work, she still has not eaten or used a litter box. I started to worry about that because it was about 2 days since I brought her.

I bought some toys (catnip and regular toys), as well as others, but it still does not look like it interests her.

I took her out of the couch, put on my lap, and tried to pet and talk to her. She seems fine for a minute, but I can feel that her body is shacking/vibrating or something because she got scared. (It was different than purring). When I let her go, she once again hide under the couch.

When I woke up this morning, I saw a mess on litter box. It looks like she went in and out, but I can't 100% say that she used it. I just saw some litter got spilled on the floor. I do not think she ate and drank though.

Other than that, during last night, I heard her meowing/crying crazily. I mean she continuously meowing in the middle of night, which caused me to wake up, and she did not stop at all until I call or make some sound. Two nights ago, she was meowing/crying too, but I think last night was even more than a night before. But whatsoever, when I got out of the bed and try to pet/find her, she hide under the couch again.

I am planning to buy feliway if the local store has one, but other than being patient, what do I really need to do? She did not eat and also meow crazily every night (that might create a noise to neighbor as well).

It's just going to take patience, sit on the ground by the couch and talk to her. Also, you can try leaving the TV or radio on at night for her so she gets used to hearing human voices. Have you tried giving her wet food instead of dry food? Most cats can't resist, that's what I had to do with my cat when she was too scared to eat. The wet food will also give her some water intake. I also kept my cat in one room at first so she wasn't overwhelmed, is she just in your living room?

 

[katluver4life]

Is it possible to move her into your room and keep her confined there? Door closed? Again have everything she needs in there with her. I would do this if you could. Your scent is heaviest usually in the bed room. This may comfort her more during the night, plus your right there and can speak to her soothingly if she cries. A closed room may make her feel safer also. I really think this would be best if you can do it. 

That she went into the box is a good sign. She's at least venturing out. Did she pass anything at all? If she has not at least pee'd in all this time, I suggest taking her to a vet. She needs a general health check anyway, and it is suggested to have this done with any newly acquired cat.

What kind of food are you offering her? Try a good stinky wet food like a Friskies pate type or Fancy Feast classic. Most cats find these very appealing and may temp her to then eat.

She has been through a lot.  She will eventually be ok. Just needs time. I know your worried, this is normal to feel. Hang in there.

 

[whc216]

So I got back to my home about 10 hours after I left (I had to drop by somewhere and etc...) and when I got back, I still saw her hiding under the couch!

I left a wet food just before I went to work, and hoping that it disappeared, but it was still there, and it looked like she did not really move at all

Instead of watching her to come out (which has been 3 days already), I decided to force her to come out.

I took her out of the couch, put on my lap, and pet her. Unlike last time, when she looked at me, I avoided my view to something else such as watching tv.

Few minutes later, I let her go, and instead of hiding under my couch again, she started to wander around. She hide again under my bed, but I thought it was good! At least she did not run away to hide.

Few hours later, I took her out of the bed again, just like what I did before (pet and talk to her), then this time, she kind of wander around my bed, room, and then disappeared again. At least she wandered around the room a little bit!
 

I also bought feliway diffuser and attach it on my room wall. I don't know if that was why, but I saw her hiding or something near my room area. I mean I did not see her hiding under my couch anymore.

Also when I woke up this morning, the wet food finally disappeared! I think she finally ate! And she also meow less than a night before. I turned on the tv last night so I don't know if that was why, but anyway, one big progress!

 

[katluver4life]

Great news! Congrats!

 

[mar1na]

That's great news! Keep us updated.

 

[my-boy-jasper]

Sounds like it's going well! I know what you mean about the night time meowing and it's so heart breaking to hear. When I brought my kitten home, he hid for the first few days but each night he would come out and run along the walls crying like he wanted out. It was so hard to watch and feel guilty like I made him so sad. But after the first 3 or 4 days, he came to me and snuggled and his confidence grew over the next few weeks and now he won't leave my side. When your kitty is out exploring, try sitting on the floor and playing with a wand toy. That way she can play but also keep some distance from you if she's wary of contact like mine was. As she gets more interested in the toy you can use it to bring her closer to you.

 

[raimagic]

What REALLY helped with my shy kitten when I first got her was the fishing toy with a feather. She was also hiding and not eating, but when I tried tempting her out with that toy, she forgot to be scared and started to follow it around. First, only a little bit and cautiously, but then more and more every day. Today, two weeks after I got her, she follows me around even without the toy . I even had other people come over and play with her with that toy so she stopped hiding from new people who come into apartment as well.

 

[whc216]

Thank you for all you guys' help!
So over the past few days, she finally ate and used litter box at least once a day, which is good!

But I also found out that she comes out of the closet and becomes active when she realizes that I am in bed.

Yesterday, when I turned off the light and was about to go to bed, I saw her came out of the closet (room) and stayed in the living room.

Then later, I heard her running around the living room, playing herself with scratcher, and toy and also meowing. A little bit aggressive though, because one of the brand-new toys kinda got broken afterward.

BUT when I tried to play with her, she either ignores me or runs away. Even there was a moment when I tried to play with her a little wired toy hanging in the scratcher, she hissed at me.

Also, she still does not like to get petted. I tried to pet her fore-face , she does look like she is comfortable with it. Under the chin, she refused to get petted. One time, I tried to pet near the tail area, she hissed at me.

Today, it's been about a week and I think that she is now more comfortable with my home, but she still does not look like she is comfortable with me. I want a little more snuggle, affectionate cat, and I am a little bit frustrated. Do you think that she will eventually open up the shell? What should I do in order to build more relationship with her? One sad part is that I have full-time job so I do not get that much time to play with her during the weekday :/

Thanks again!

 

[mar1na]

 
Thank you for all you guys' help!
So over the past few days, she finally ate and used litter box at least once a day, which is good!

But I also found out that she comes out of the closet and becomes active when she realizes that I am in bed.

Yesterday, when I turned off the light and was about to go to bed, I saw her came out of the closet (room) and stayed in the living room.

Then later, I heard her running around the living room, playing herself with scratcher, and toy and also meowing. A little bit aggressive though, because one of the brand-new toys kinda got broken afterward.

BUT when I tried to play with her, she either ignores me or runs away. Even there was a moment when I tried to play with her a little wired toy hanging in the scratcher, she hissed at me.

Also, she still does not like to get petted. I tried to pet her fore-face , she does look like she is comfortable with it. Under the chin, she refused to get petted. One time, I tried to pet near the tail area, she hissed at me.

Today, it's been about a week and I think that she is now more comfortable with my home, but she still does not look like she is comfortable with me. I want a little more snuggle, affectionate cat, and I am a little bit frustrated. Do you think that she will eventually open up the shell? What should I do in order to build more relationship with her? One sad part is that I have full-time job so I do not get that much time to play with her during the weekday :/

Thanks again!

Definitely stick to just petting the top of her head, when cats are skittish they can scared when you pet near their tail because they can't see you and feel vulnerable. I would recommend just putting your hand out slowly towards her so she can sniff you and see you're safe. Instead of trying to pet her right away just sit down next to her when she's playing and read a book or something, so she can feel you out a bit. Also get a wand toy or a laser pointer - a toy you can interact with her but that she won't actually have to touch you. Eventually she will realize that when you're around it means play time and good things. Treats also help as well