Please Tell Me I Did The Right Thing

[ugaimes]

I have a client who, after she disclosed some things to me this morning, I feel may be suicidal. My professional obligation at that point, when I feel that a client may possibly be suicidal, is to report it to their captain so that they may get a mental health screening and treatment immediately.
So I made a report to her Captain and advised that they take her to the Dept. of Mental Health at the Army hospital for an evaluation. Then I called her to let her know what I did so that she would not be caught off-guard. Naturally, she was PO'd and started cursing at me before hanging up. Then, she called half an hour later, screaming more at me, saying that I betrayed her trust, etc. I knew to expect that as she has recently suffered multiple traumas and part of the reaction process is extreme anger. I also know that I did what my job requires.
I am just so upset y'all; I've locked myself up in my office and cannot stop crying. She told me yesterday that I'm the only one there for her and now she says she can never trust me again. I can only hope that one day down the road, she will see that what I did, I did out of concern for her.
While this was the professionally responsible thing for me to do, do y'all still tihnk it was the morally right thing to do? I feel horrible imagining what she must be feeling right now. Please say a prayer or send this girl some mega vibes. I am terrified for her right now.

 

[katspixiedust]

Absolutely you did the right thing Amy. That's a tough situation, and it hurts to hear her tell you she can't trust you anymore, but really what you did was the absolute good thing to do. You never know what might have happened to her had you not said anything, and that would have been an even worse feeling. I hope she comes around once she has her screening, but you never know. Just trust that you did what was right and best for her.

 

[lillekat]

Sweetie, you've done the right thing. You're looking out for her and doing what your job requires you to do. I know that is seems really wrong that she should yell at you the way she has - as you say, you know that she's suffered traumas and that part of the natural reaction is to be very angry, but understanding it doesn't necessarily make it feel any better. You're right to be concerned so don't stress too much over it. You did let her know what you'd done - if you hadn't then there would have been reason for her to say that you'd betrayed her trust. I'm sending you some mega-huggies and some real good vibes for this girl - I hope everything works out ok.

 

[AbbysMom]

I would be feeling the same way you are right now. Just remember, you would feel much worse if you didn't report it and she did take her own life. You did the right thing, and hopefully someday she will realize it. You are amazing just for what you do for a living and what you emotionally have to deal with at your job. Many people woudl not be able to handle what you do. You were right, don't beat yourself up about it. Because of you, she is still alive.

 

[ullis_p]

Yes. It was absolutly the right thing to do. Suicide tendenses should never ever be ignored and when she is well again she will understand that.

It's never easy breaking a persons trust but sometimes it must be done to protect them so rest assure you did what you were supposed to do.

 

[ugaimes]

Thank you so much Katherine

, Emma

, Karen

, and ullis_p

. That really means a lot to me

I really think the emotional toll that this job is taking on me is catching up to me now!

 

[squirtle]

You absolutely did the right thing. You could very well have saved her life. After things settle down in her life she will realize what you did and probably thank you for it. I would be just as upset as you are right now, but it could have turned out so much differently had you not said anything. You are the only person she turned to and therefore the only one that could save her.

 

[ugaimes]

Thank you so much Tanya

. I definitely feel that she wouldn't have admitted certain things to me this morning (the things that caused me to report this) if she weren't asking for help. I have to keep telling myself. And I honestly do not care if she hates me for the rest of her life as long as she continues to get help for her traumas. That is the most vital thing. Of course, I hope she always knows she has me as well. She desperately needs a support system now. What haunts me the most is when she said that she will never trust anyone again because of me. While I HOPE

that is not true, that is a hard thought for me to live with.
Man, they make this stuff look so easy on Law& Order SVU!

 

[coolcat]

After read your post dear,

I will to make the same action!

.... Maybe you don´t feel good about it, but We need to do the Rigth thing!

IMO you done well....

 

[ugaimes]

Thank you Rigel

I'm so glad to have you guys....reading y'alls nice posts has really helped me taper off all of the crying

so maybe now I can get some more work done...

 

[eilcon]

You definitely did the right thing, Amy, and acted in client's best interest.
I'm sure that when she calms down and begins to get things resolved she'll realize that, along with recognizing that your actions were motivated by genuine concern for her. It takes a really strong, compassionate person to do your job and you demonstrated these qualities in your handling of this situation. You showed how much you care.

 

[furbie]

I think you did do the right thing, a few years ago I had a friend who was suicidal, she would call me on a daily basis and threaten suicide, what made it worse was that she was pregnant, it got to be too much for me to deal with, her husband didn't know what to do, so he and I went to see her doctor and told him what was going on, she was furious, called us every name in the book. Her doctor talked her into voluntarily admitting herself as an out patient, and to this day she's alive. She's no longer my friend and no longer married to him, but at least she's alive.

 

[squirtle]

This is not the same situation but it might help a little. I had a friend in high school who was with a guy who abused her emotionally to the point she had no self esteem whatsoever. He also forced her to have sex with him, her first time, and then got her involved with several of his friends in the same way. It really was a mess

She ended up showing up at my house one night, knocked on my window and asked if she could stay. I couldn't let her, my Dad would have had a fit, and so she left. When she left I had a bad feeling she was going to do something stupid, she did have suicidal thoughts in the past, and had even tried to overdose on some prescription medication she had. Her Mom called me that morning saying she never went home. I was so worried I drove all over looking for her. I went everywhere I could think of and couldn't find her. She finally called me and said she was ok but couldn't live with herself anymore and felt like no one loved her. I told her I would come get her and we would get through this but she didn't want to go home. I told her I would give her a ride anywhere she wanted to go... I told her I would run away with her. Instead though, I called her Mom and told her I was going to get her and would find a way to and let her know where we were so they could show up and get her back home. I knew I was betraying her but what else could I do? I was not going to let her run away, or end up killing herself. I found her on the side of the road with a trucker about to get in the truck!

I grabbed her and told him to leave or I was calling the police. I got her in my car and she said she just wanted a ride to the bus station. While we were driving I managed to push the button on my pager and make it go off, I told her I had to call my mom right away she needed something. I stopped at a pay phone and called her mom instead and told her where we were going. Her parents rushed and met us there. They acted like we were both in trouble for running away and were trying not to lead on that I had betrayed her trust and kept them informed. My friend knew it though. I had told her mom EVERYTHING. They took her to a counseling program, she had to go through rehab as well. She hated me and had no problem telling me that, didn't speak to me for 3 years after. I ran into her one day where she was working as a cashier. She asked me to stay for a few until her break and she thanked me and said it was because of me she was able to turn her life around. She felt that if I hadn't done that it would have been too late.

 

[rockcat]

Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't YOU think you did the right thing? She may be PO'd, but she's ALIVE! She can get over being p****d. Honey, the fact that this upset you just proves that you care. I am glad the Army has the sense to have someone like you in such a vital position.

 

[daidreamer]

I feel so sorry for what you must be going through right now

. So sorry to hear that

. We are sending some mega vibes for her and for you too

. I believe you did the right thing too. Bless you for that

.

 

[darkeyedgirl]

I definitely think you did the right thing. In her situation it is very easy to feel like you want to end your life (Being with an abusive or controlling man). When a person threatens suicide, they usually mean it. She is on a total mental rollercoaster right now due to her situation, and like you said, her extreme anger and lashing out against you is all a part of it. I think ya did the right thing all across the board --- by being there for her and being concerned for her welfare!

She will appologize or come around some day. I definitely commend you Amy (again) for doing the right thing for another woman!!! Feel better soon... (((HUGS)))

 

[AbbysMom]

Originally Posted by ugaimes

Thank you so much Katherine

, Emma

, Karen

, and ullis_p

. That really means a lot to me

I really think the emotional toll that this job is taking on me is catching up to me now!

I think you need to go home tonight and just take care of yourself for a change... a glass of wine, bubble bath, etc.

 

[hannahj]

You definitely did the right thing without a doubt!!! People often want to fly under the radar with their problems and it is difficult to get called on it--especially in the military (you ARE in the military service, right?) where it can be on their permanent record and they will have to "own" their problem. But then again--admitting you do have a problem is the first, hardest step and this woman probably was just not prepared to face it, so you had to take action before it got too serious.

You have done more for this woman than she is aware of right now and hopefully in due time she will see that and thank you. Breathe easy and get some cat kisses!

 

[consumerkitty]

Originally Posted by AbbysMom

I think you need to go home tonight and just take care of yourself for a change... a glass of wine, bubble bath, etc.

You saved someone's life! You did a good thing! You shouldn't beat yourself up for helping someone and saving their life! So get a glass of wine, draw a bubble bath, eat some ice cream and chocolates. Treat yourself to an evening of relaxation-- you deserve it!!

 

[gailc]

I also agree that you did the right thing. My first real job out of college was with the WIC (Women, Infants and Children) program. At the "clinics" when we weighed and measured the children we also were to be looking for signs of abuse and ask about any unusual bruises, marks etc...... Well there was a two yr old that had burns on her arms/hands. Mom said from grabbing a curling iron on the edge of the bathtub-but the story from mom didn't match where the marks were. So we had one of the nurses take a look and concurred and ended up reporting this to social services. Of course we got tons of grief from the mom, how could we do this etc.......... But that is part of our job. You saved this woman's life and that is how you need to think of this. It sounds like this person has alot of stuff going on and you did what you had to do.
Don't beat yourself up over this..... Take it easy tonite and do something for yourself.