Paranoid about the health of my remaining cat.

[Meekie]

It's been almost two weeks since I lost my sweet, one of a kind Rico. Luckily I still have his buddy Aniki. But I am now consumed with worry over Aniki's health. He has no outstanding issues, and you can bet I am going to take him to the doc soon for a complete wellness check, but I can't shake the feeling that either the vet will find a problem or that one will develop in a few months.

I tell myself this might be a part of the grieving process for Rico, and therefore it's unreasonable to expect Aniki to get sick so soon...but then I remember that Aniki is 16 and a half, which makes the likelihood of him developing age-related disease that much greater. When I look at him, all I can think is 'Please don't get sick please don't get sick please don't get sick". I dread going through what I've just gone through with Rico so soon. Rico was TRULY a special cat and it's going to take me a while to get over losing him. I fear having to compound my grief with the horror that Aniki, too, may be approaching his last days.

Aniki was a bottle baby, so he thinks I'm his daddy and mommy all rolled into one. He's handicapped as well so he's incredibly clingy and basically still a kitten at 16. He will be just as hard to lose as Rico if not moreso: he's my last cat. I won't have the buffer of a remaining animal to comfort me after he passes and I can't get another one because he has behavioral issues and I wouldn't trust him with a newcomer.

This is complicating my grieving process for Rico. There are feelings of fear and worry for Aniki over my deep sadness for Rico and sometimes it's unbearable. Has anyone else been in this position? What has helped you?

It doesn't help that I have severe OCD and tend to magnify and obsess over problems like this.

Thank you for reading!

 

[Meekie]

Forgot to post some photos of Aniki.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I am so sorry for the loss of your Rico. Aniki is so handsome!

I haven't exactly experienced what you are going through, as I have only had one cat at a time. But, even years after the passing of one of my cats, as another one would begin to get older, I think it is impossible not to have some worries about their health. Tawny died at 15 of FIP, Gracie passed away at 12 from cancer, and now I have Feeby who is 16+yo, in relatively good health but just recently diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.

So, yes, there is always a bit of lingering concern about what's going to happen when any cat gets into their senior years and beyond. What I have learned over the years, and with the great members on this site sharing their experiences, is that rather than fear what will happen with Feeby, I need to find ways to embrace her still being with me each and every day.

To set aside the fears, and celebrate that I am graced with her presence each passing day. She deserves my gratitude and love more than she needs my anticipation of her ultimate demise. Aniki deserves the same from you. Don't let your fear override the joy of being with Aniki for as many days as possible.

I know other members will be able to offer you more than I can to help you, but I did want to reach out nonetheless.

 

[Meekie]

I appreciate what you said.

The only positive to losing Rico, if I dare call it positive, is that I can devote all my time and love to Aniki. He deserves it.

They were a little competitive for my affection when Rico was alive, and it was a bit stressful. I hated that one of them always felt left out (even though he had just been showered with attention ) so now there are no hurt feelings.

I guess all I can do is cherish every moment I have with him, and also stay on top of his health issues should he develop any.

Thanks!

PS. My friend had a lovely lady cat named Tawny. may your Tawny (and all the others) rest peacefully in your heart.

 

[di and bob]

I, too, obsess over things like this, due to my age I have lost many over the years. It doesn't get any easier with each cat's passing because each and everyone has a special place in your heart. The past though, which is set in stone and no matter how much you want to change it, cannot be done over or changed. The future is not yet ours to see. So over the years, I try to stay grounded in the present, just like our beloved cats. I read somewhere once that 99% of what we worry and obsess about DOES NOT COME TRUE. Think back, that is true. So why worry about something that we can't see or has already happened?
Use what you learned in the past to shape your future. Right now you need to grieve, so it is natural to have worries about your remaining little one. Your little one is elderly, another fact to keep in mind. (that is another thing, stick to facts, not what MIGHT happen) But to waste one of your precious minutes with Aniki from worrying about what a future might be that cannot be seen, or a past that cannot be changed is futile when it could be spent loving and caring for that boy. Remember, none of us is perfect. We all make mistakes and are doomed to make more because we are human after all. The secret is not giving up. To accept our tragedies and mistakes and to learn to go on, to just keep breathing. Because breathing means we are alive and life is meant to be spent pursuing its beauty and joy, what makes us happy, and to give back the love we receive. Every one of our little ones, I'm sure, would want us to go on and live our lives to the fullest. To be happy and love once more. Because that is what we would want for them if we were the first to go, that is love.......

 

[Meekie]

Thank you. That was nicely put. I guess there's no easy answer to my worries. I tend to live in the future a bit too much. I know that one day little Aniki will be no longer with me, so you're right; now is the time to love on him and appreciate his presence.

Well off to work now, for the first time without having to see Rico's disappointed "you're not leaving, are you??" eyes. It's not going to be easy, but all this pain is well worth the privilege of knowing that amazing cat for fourteen years.

 

[di and bob]

You'll always feel that sadness, but in time, with help from others who support you, and life's way of helping you cope, you will go on. Because you are alive and life is meant to be truly lived. No one has all the answers. You just get through each day until that hole starts to fill again. One day at a time....

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Rico, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

di and bob said exactly what I would have said, as have others. I will only repeat the most crucial thing...do not let fears for tomorrow rob you of the joys you have today. Aniki would hate that, as does Rico, who watches now from That Place Where All Things Are Known. His love for you, now translated and purified into Love, he sends back to you, where it will remain. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

 

[Meekie]

Thank you di and bob and Mamanyt. Aniki and I have been inseparable lately. He doesn't have to share me with anybody else! Every moment is special.

 

[Meekie]

Aniki must have known I was worried about him because last night I woke up at 2 AM to hear him running around the apartment at 80 mph while screaming "Mrowowowowowowowowowrararara!" That really made me feel better. Thanks, buddy!

 

[di and bob]

I love those cat zoomies!

 

[les26]

After losing so many I came to realize the importance of giving them vitamins and fish oil, ones made for cats of course, and they really seem to be helping all of ours over the years, I think they might outlive Deb & I lol!!

 

[Meekie]

After losing so many I came to realize the importance of giving them vitamins and fish oil, ones made for cats of course, and they really seem to be helping all of ours over the years, I think they might outlive Deb & I lol!!

That's a good idea. Can you recommend any specific types or brands?

 

[les26]

That's a good idea. Can you recommend any specific types or brands?

We used GNC brand for years, could get them at PetSmart and online, then PetSmart stopped carrying them so if we can't get them through Chewy.com Deb gets VetriScience brand or whatever is available. We just crush them up and put them in their wet food along with Dr. Mercola's eye support and that seems to really help too, especially Sugar who went blind temporarily a few years ago when she had a HORRIBLE reaction to anesthesia but she is doing well now thank God and I believe these are some of the reasons why!

 

[Meekie]

Thanks! I will try them.

 

[Meekie]

..update..

Aniki is doing great! He seems to have gotten over the changes that came with the loss of his housemate. I was concerned that he would be lonely or bored, but he seems to like being the only cat in the house. I see now that my fears of him getting sick were just related to the trauma of losing Rico.

Since Rico was dominant over him, I think he feels a freedom he hasn't felt in many years. He's playing more and seems genuinely happier. He's also losing some of his excess weight since it's easier to watch his food intake.

Best of all, he has me all to himself and is taking full advantage of it. We've become inseparable. His newest routine is to hang out in the bathroom while I take a shower. SInce it's so cold lately, I have to shut the bathroom door but he doesn't mind. I think he's concerned about water conservation because if I take too long in the shower, he starts meowing.

Rico used to wander into the bathroom whenever I got out of the shower. He had a strange relationship with water; if I was doing something in the kitchen sink and accidentally dripped water on him, he would freak out and run away as if offended. But in the bathroom he didn't mind when I got out of the shower and dripped water on him. I think he actually liked it, to the point where I would do it on purpose.

Anili isn't much for being dripped on. He just waits patiently until I am dry enough to kneel down and give him hugs without getting covered in hair.

 

[di and bob]

I'm so happy to hear Aniki is happy, it sure sounds like it! I give all my cats, who have leukemia, DMG which is supposed to build up their immune systems. It is made by Vertiscience which I get on Amazon. I just squirt it in a little liquid treat and they lap it right up. all I know and care about is they are fat and sassy and happy over a year after they were supposed to have had only 'days to live'. We just take one day at a time and I am grateful for them being in my life.