Trom, I'm so sorry for your loss of lovely Bailey. I read your message & managed to find my password to log in & reply. I've not logged in for a few years. I lost my beloved friend Marmite in 2011, I am still feel pain now & writing this through my tears. This forum has been a wonderful help to me. You absolutely did the right thing Trom. Completely the right thing & you were right to be there at the end, as his best friend. It's a terrible terrible time, I know & understand. You did the very best thing for your friend, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, probably more so. Bailey will be in your heart forever & he knows that you did the very best for him that you could.
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Overcome With Grief
- Thread starter trom77
- Start Date
I think everyone here is hurting with you. Sudden and unexpected loss is so hard. I have had that, one of a kind, kitty too. Some people might not understand what I say when I tell you it was much like losing my child, but some are that close to us. Friend, family member, comforter and more. It does leave me feeling like part of me is missing. Grief takes time. You said your other cats don't get along. Maybe you can use this to help them. One at a time take them to your room. They may not respond but you may find they notice the loss as well if they are alone with you. Trust me, they know. They may not be the same personality type as Bailey or have that perceptive connection but they love you too. They may need you more than you know. Sometimes a conflict between two cats has to do with wanting our attention. They compete for it. They all want a place with you. I lost a kitty yesterday. Like you I spent the final moments with him. His name was Twilight. I did not expect him to go. I am an older person who has had and lost many times. It never gets easier but I keep on because I need the love and so do other kitties. There have been kitties that shared the kind of bond you speak of and others who just loved. It is all good. Try working with the others you have and wait. At the very least you will be helping them to feel more secure and perhaps behave better towards each other. In my life it seems that I never choose that special kitty. They choose me. You were honored to have been chosen. You gave that honor back. There is nothing more precious to be given in this life than that kind of love. I don't believe it is over. I believe that love stays with us. You were given a wonderful gift. Bailey would not want to see your pain any more than you wanted his. Try to keep moving. No one wants to think of the future at a time like this but there will be that kind of love again. If Bailey could send you comfort I am betting it will happen. Look for new friends and new love, with your current kitties or new two legged or four legged folks. Just the companionship will help, even though it isn't the same as having Bailey. I am trying to send you comfort and love vibes! I hope they get there!
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- #23
Thank you for your kind words and advice. I am trying to use this as an opportunity to finally getting the other 2 to get along. They couldnt even be in the same room before, so we're getting there...
I have had very good results with the products Jackson Galaxy sells, Peacemaker, Stress stopper etc., maybe that would help your 2?
I love the photo! It may take time but it sure looks like you have made great progress already! Even though I am an older person who has seen it many times...... my heart is still warmed every time I see what love can do and I see it in the photo. Thank you for warming my heart! You just made my day. You may be surprised how quickly they change their cattitude. They are beautiful cats and are obviously loved. Please keep posting. I would really like to hear how things are going.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2015
- Messages
- 58
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- 49
Like everyone else here, I'm also so sorry for your loss. What a horrible shock, and to think you only had two sleep deprived hours to process it. He knew something was wrong and he immediately came to you for help. Many cats will go and hide and want to be alone when they have something life threatening affect them. Many prefer to die alone. But he came to you. It's clear he felt the bond with you as strongly as you did.
Your story in your first post echos so many of my feelings. We also had to euthanize our cat Gwennie recently (April 7). We're three weeks out now, and still feel pretty sad and like our house is empty.
Telling stories about her and her funny antics and just letting time do its thing are the only things that have helped. With time, the images of her in her last moments have mostly stopped flashing through my mind. (She passed away on my lap at home. We brought her from the vet office and called an in home vet to come to our apartment that evening.) The first night was so awful. I didn't sleep at all. It was like someone clicking through a slide projector of awful images of her in pain and passing away. Thankfully that isn't happening anymore.
I hope you start to feel some peace soon. It's really so very hard, and we all understand that here. Tell as many stories as you want here and post as much as you need to. We can help each other grieve.
Your story in your first post echos so many of my feelings. We also had to euthanize our cat Gwennie recently (April 7). We're three weeks out now, and still feel pretty sad and like our house is empty.
Telling stories about her and her funny antics and just letting time do its thing are the only things that have helped. With time, the images of her in her last moments have mostly stopped flashing through my mind. (She passed away on my lap at home. We brought her from the vet office and called an in home vet to come to our apartment that evening.) The first night was so awful. I didn't sleep at all. It was like someone clicking through a slide projector of awful images of her in pain and passing away. Thankfully that isn't happening anymore.
I hope you start to feel some peace soon. It's really so very hard, and we all understand that here. Tell as many stories as you want here and post as much as you need to. We can help each other grieve.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #27
Hey les26... thanks for the tip! I've done the whole calming product thing and had some success. But I think it got to the point where this method was just delaying any real progress, ya know? It just made one, or both, just too tired to even pay attention.
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- #28
Thank you! Not much new to report at the moment but I will post an update soon!
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- #29
Thank you for your kind
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #30
His products worked without any side effects that we know of!
