Originally Posted by Mirinae
I do a few things to keep myself "feeling" attractive and to put myself in the mood. First off, I tell myself that I am sexy and attractive and smokin' hot. Whether or not it's actually physically true is irrelevant; I find, in a lot of cases, that if you behave as though you think you're hot, people will treat you like you're hot -- and you'll start to believe it yourself.
Another thing I do is to find music that empowers me. It doesn't matter what the song is, so long as listening to it, singing along to it, and dancing to it makes me feel sexy, attractive and powerful. Dancing and singing are two things that make me feel good, about myself and about my body (even though I'm not particularly good at dancing or singing -- I just enjoy doing it), and feeling good about myself translates into me feeling "in the mood."
Finally, sometimes when I'm not feeling sexy or at all interested in being intimate with my partner, I'll do it anyway. Studies suggest that the more frequently you do it, the more frequently you'll want to do it. I'm not saying get it on when you feel sick or in pain, but if you're just feeling apathetic about it, give it a try because that might be all the boost you need. Sometime it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it can't hurt to try!
*takes off Dr. Ruth hat and resumes her work day*
I also found that meditation (and probably yoga or tai chi.. things of that nature) really help to focus too. They're extremely relaxing, especially meditation, and honestly, I'm not huge on new age stuff, but that really helped to completely make my outlook positive, get rid of all the negative stuff, and to energize me.
I found that when I want to feel slinky or sexy, music does it... I'll go "all out" for a date, though.. I'll put on music that makes me feel that way and play it while I get ready.. take a nice long hot bath, with bath salts, scrub yourself down with the smell good fancy "salt scrub". Moisturize afterwards, especially if you have a perfume that you can layer.. like I have bath powder, body wash, perfume and lotion in most of my scents..deep condition and fix up your hair, give yourself a pedicure/manicure.. wear your favorite slinky clothing,.. lingerie and outerwear, maybe even do something slightly "naughty" (and if you need suggestions on that PM me).. doing something that is slightly naughty really makes you feel sexy, especially when you can't tell the DH because it will spoil the fun of him discovering it.