New introduction not going well...HELP!

[faganfamily1]

Now, I know I am a fussy cat mom, and my husband says im making too much of this, and honestly I should have written about this days ago...but I need advice!!

So our R.Male Otis is getting along with our new kitten (6mos) maggie. BUT the R Female Bella isnt. So here is what's been happening.

Bella will not attack maggie, but she will hiss and swat at her. They have been in the same room, and maggie avoids her, but that's it.

Otis knows that something isnt right, and bella will smell maggie on him and hiss at him, so now he is keeping his distance.

So here's what weve been doing...

1. reintroducing them. Maggie is meowing her head off in her own room, and I think its stressing out bella and its also stressing me out too! plus Ive been in pain the last couple of days(chronic) and ive had finals!!!

2. We have gotten some baby gates and have been letting them see each other. I dont know if we should be even letting them see each other.

3. We have also been switching rooms.

So...what does everyone think? Should we just let them hiss it out? Im just afraid that they will get stressed out .

Thanks everyone!!!!

 

[faganfamily1]

PS. Just wanted to add. Bella just scratched my husband for no reason.

 

[temperpolk]

I Know Maggie's crying is breaking your heart, but keep her in her own room for now. And leave the older kitties the run of the house. They were there first. Changing a cat's territory can develop into some agression. I think that you are doing things right and that it will just take some time. You will have to split yourself into two for a while and give some love to Maggie in her room and then two your two buddies outside. I would definetely recommend that you let them smell each other under the door for now (in separate rooms). then they can graduate to baby gates in time.

 

[carolina]

Hi there!!!
Welcome to the forum!!
How long has the introduction been going for?

A few things you can do to help:
One - go to the store, and pickup a feliway diffuser - you can buy it online here for cheaper, but given the circumstances - the fact you are on finals and in pain, you might want to spend a little more and get going on it... It helps a LOT IMHO... You can find it on Petco and Petsmart - for the resident cats' room BTY

2- Put a bit of Vanilla essence on everybody's chin.

3- Scent exchange - get a towel, and rub it all over the new kitty, specially on the cheeks... fold the towel and out it under the food dishes of the resident cats... Do the same with the resident cats' scent...

Anne wrote a great article on introduction, and you can find it here:
http://www.thecatsite.com/Behavior/49/Id-like-you-to-Meet...-Introducing-Cats.html

Hissing and swatting will be normal... The resident cats will work out their hierarchy, and little by little things will fall into place...

But it all depends of your cats temperament... With my first two, being both Ragdolls, I did not need an introduction at all... Then I brough in my third one, a little feral, and things got interesting

. All of the sudden my Sweet Ragdoll Bugsy started hissing

- an introduction was needed, and I needed to reassure Bugsy that He was the #2 in my heart.

In my house, there is a clear hierarchy established, to maintain the peace - Lucky is #1, Bugsy #2, and Hope #3. This was really noticeable during introductions, now only during feeding time...
Anyways... I hope this helps any... Good luck and good luck on your finals!

Welcome to the forum!!

 

[strange_wings]

First off. Step back and take a breather.

You have a decent plan, just be patient.

You could try feliway diffusers and maybe even bach flower essences to aid your reintroduction process.

I hope it works out. Girl kitties can be real pain in the butts for this, they're often more touchy about change. If you can at least get them to ignore/tolerate each other, consider it good! Time will eventually have to take care of the rest.

 

[faganfamily1]

Thaks so much for all the advice you all. This whole thing is bothering the both of us and since bella scratched my husband he is very upset about this whole thing right now. Finals were over yesterday...I wish the pain was!

So here is what we have been doing that I forgot to add...

We have a feliway diffuser and we have it plugged in...but it dosnt seem to work for bella. We got it for our move to a bigger house a few months ago.

I also did get the bach's remedy- the closest I can get it on bella is put it on her paw and have her lick it off....we call her a hobo because she seriously just lives here...she wont really allow is to do much else to her( pick her up or cut her nails...) but she loooves attention.

Bella also dosnt want anything to do with her smell. We have a blanket on the floor and also her cute little blanket she was given before she was brought home.

Im calling the vet on monday to ask her advice on this matter...only because bella is so skittish to begin with. Before we added maggie, she had been randomly hissing at Dave and was becoming easily startled. We rescued her from outside our apartment a few years ago so we dont know anything about her. But from the beginning I kind of felt that she just wasnt right.

So here our my questions finally...

1. Should i still be switching rooms? Bella is curious...but I just dont know how much is aggression and how much is curiousity. How many times a day should I do this? maggie will just cry in her room- and i know the good will outweigh the bad...

2. Should I still be doing the bach's remedy?

3. How long would you wait on letting them see each other?

4. Any ideas on how to get her to be more comfortable with her smell? Or should i just wait?

Thanks again for your help everyone...we really appreciate it!

 

[strange_wings]

#1 Personally, I wouldn't move her around. Let her settle down and de-stress. You can always let her out, by herself, during quite times to roam around the rest of the house. Doing this with each of them, separately, could help spread scents around the home.

#2 You can put the rescue remedy in their water. Dosing everyone wouldn't hurt.

#3 Depends on your cats progress. Sounds like Bella, at least, needs a bit more time.

#4 See #1 and just put things that smell like the others around her room. Just because you don't see her doing it doesn't mean she isn't sniffing at items.

Maybe look at some stuff on ferals - I don't think Bella is feral at all, but she's certainly more skittish and probably has some of the behaviors more common to them.
Tell your husband that she was just scared, it wasn't personal or some sign that she hates him - guys can be oddly sensitive sometimes.

He'll heal, and hopefully knows to watch her body language and moods a little better.

You said you moved to a larger home? How large? It's possible one diffuser just isn't enough. I'd take the one you have now and put it in Bella's room - then get some more for around the house.

 

[faganfamily1]

We moved from a 700 sq ft apt to a 1650 sqft! in the apt there were definitely some problems with territory, but of course not so much since we have moved intot he new home.

I had the feliway in the living room downstairs since bella likes to sleep either in there or in the dining room.

So as of right now we are just letting them roam around seperately, and the bach's does seem to be working a little. Bella has been spending a little bit more time than usual up in our bedroom, so we are working on getting her out there and playing a little more.

Being a cat mom is hard!!!

 

[strange_wings]

I bet you love having more space.

If the bach's rescue remedy doesn't seem to be strong enough there are other companies out there that make flower essences, like this one http://www.spiritessence.com.

Add more diffusers, make sure you have plenty of litter boxes so they don't get fussy over sharing those, lots of perches and hiding areas, and just take your time. You can't rush a cat.

Maybe someone else has some more tips - and of course you can always post updates and ask for more help. Good luck.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Just thought I'd pipe in and tell you that I am in the process of integrating TWO 9 month old male "kittens" into our household with a 14 year old resident male and a 9 year old resident female, and it's now been 4 1/2 months and our resident female is still fighting this integration tooth and nail (literally). Everytime one of the "boys" gets near her, she not only hisses, she starts snarling and throwing punches, but thankfully, never really attacks. She's more scared than anything else and I think is just trying to make them think she's a tough gal.

We went through the entire integration process of first isolation, then blanket swapping, then room swapping, then feeding on opposite sides of doors, then feeding with them being able to see each other, then being in the same room but far apart, then moving the food bowls closer and closer together until they can eat calmly just a few feet from each other. But once dinner is done, war breaks out is anyone of the males (our resident male knows better and always has) dares get close to her. Plus we have 3 Feliway diffusers (1600 sq ft house also), and put Rescue Remedy in their water bowl every day!

So...bottom line, females are the WORST! And now, unbelievable, when the boys are out of their safe room (yes, we still put them in there when we are gone or sleeping, or otherwise unable to supervise the gang) she goes in there and walks around growling. It's like we're back to step one! At least she hasn't turned on US!! We are trying to give her extra, extra attention, and since she and our resident male have never gotten along in 8 years, that means we have to play with her, then him, then the boys. Whew...it's a good thing we're retired, because our entire lives revolve around the 4 cats right now.

 

[strange_wings]

Originally Posted by mrsgreenjeens

So...bottom line, females are the WORST!

They certainly can be! This is why I keep saying it's female cats that have attitudes - it has nothing to do with fur color.

I have an girl that behaves similarly, but thankfully not as extreme. She has a very definite personal space around her that she doesn't like any cat to invade. She seems to like sitting in the middle of doorways and complaining when other cats need to pass..

 

[faganfamily1]

YIKES! Oh man I hope it dosnt take that long. So I took maggie tot he vet, man was that an experience. maggie fought the vet tooth and nail, clawing and biting. I didnt even recgonize her. It has already been an emotionally draining day, and by the end of her visit I was trying to fight back tears. First of all, we realized she has a biting problem, and if she dosnt like something she nips. We have been correcting her when she does it at home, but still....yikes.

Hope things go well with your resident cat. GRRRRRR!!!!! I keep reminding myself that if maggie wasnt here she would be in cat heaven!

 

[white cat lover]

Shy/fearful cats go ballistic at the vets - I've been nailed severely a few times by my timid bottle baby. Now my former feral that I got as an adult? She's a peace of cake at the vet!

I'd go slowly - provide "safe places" for Bella when she is out of her safe room. The vanilla extra really does work - it's been a lifesaver for me.