My Roommate hit my cat.

[ginny]

 
 So, at some point while I was out this week (either sleeping or actually out and about at school), the daughter annoyed Missy enough to make her hiss and take a swipe at her. Her claws are always trimmed and so there was no mark left on the daughter, but my roommate was with her and he hit my cat. I mean he slapped her hard enough to get her to start showing aggression to me and almost everyone she is usually sweet to. I know she's scared and doesn't know who to trust right now...

I can't really add much to what others have said,  This makes me FURIOUS!!!!   

I saw where in your latest post that this JERK only admitted to "tapping" her on her side. (Rolling eyes here)  So I have a question: who saw him hit Missy?  Whoever did has an OBLIGATION to report this idiot to AC for animal abuse.  Any idiot who will hurt a cat will also hurt a child.  This is a well-known cross-over.  

 

[gonger]

Poor Missy! That has to be so hard with a housemate. Who owns the house if anyone? Put key locks on your door if you can because it seems like this will happen again. That guy doesn't seems disinterested and that kid is too conniving.

Someone flicked Pumpkin's ear hard enough to make her cry and hide when I wasn't home and this person is not welcome in my house anymore.

 

[catalina miller]

well if it was a house that would be easy but its a apartment haha. The funny part is the daughter bragged to my boyfriends brother that she saw her dad hit the cat because she scratched her. but my other roomate (brothers girlfriend) actually saw it.

 

[eck1kaylie]

I was fuming just reading this. I know some kids honestly just don't know how to play right with cats, but she just sounds like she's being a brat!
It's good that you put your for down with them. Just make sure to be consistent!
Is there any way you could talk to whoever manages your apartment complex/building and ask to put a lock on your bedroom door? If you offer to give them a copy of the key, they might be okay with it. Depends on the landlord, but it can't hurt to ask, right?
Good luck to you and Missy, she sounds like a sweetheart and it's clear how much you care about her! :heart:

 

[ohws]

 
Update on the situation, My boyfriend and i talked to the roommate and his daughter when we got back from shopping ....

Well played, the 2 of you.

I am a little concerned that Missy is not eating her food as she normally does. You say that your brother's girlfriend actually saw what happened. Are you sure that Missy is not hiding an injury?

 

[gonger]

 

That kid is evil, who brags about being the cause of an animal being hit? Being in your room seems to be safer for Missy when the girl is over. Hopefully she isn't there often so Missy doesn't have to be shut in too much. 

  We rent but my two housemates (my brother and my boyfriend) love the cat so we've all turned on the flick-happy guest.  

 

[artiemom]

you did a great job! and your boyfriend also!!  

I will have to agree about locking your bedroom door; especially when that girl is around. 

She is spoiled and is playing innocent.

The glare was more of her thinking that she can do anything she wants and her dad will defend her. 

It is the typical status of a kid playing one parent against another. When the parents are separated, the kids have a tendency to go wild.

I live in an apartment building. If you go to a Home Depot or Lowe's or any Hardware store, I am sure you can find the type of combination lock that you can just place on your bedroom door. It looks just like a regular heavy duty combination lock and hooks around the doorknob. My super has it on a few closets. 

You could tell your landlord the situation and give him the combo, in case he has to come in to inspect something. 

That way you would not be breaking the lease abut him having access, in case of an emergency.

Poor Missy. Right now she is loving the extra attention and treats! It will take a while to get back to normal.

I think she will be very wary of trekking out of her 'safe' room. The she sees or hears this guy and daughter, I think she will probably cowl and run directly into her room. She may even hiss at them. That is normal behavior.

I would also watch that kid closely. She will be trying to find more mischief and things to get into. She is trying to draw attention to herself and really does not know how to play...actually she is becoming a "Bully"

She is displaying 'bullying" behavior. I do not think the parents are aware of this.  I wonder how she act around kids her own age?

That kid needs boundaries. You have a duty to protect Missy and set them...

Good Job all around..((hugs)))

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I may have something constructive to add to this in a few minutes, but right now I'm so irate about how your cat was treated that I don't trust myself to say more than, "You handled it very well indeed, and far better than I would have."

~mutters to self~  breathe, breathe, breathe...

OK...the best part of this is that you, your boyfriend and your brother are making a united front.  Perhaps the two couples could have a meeting and agree to let the single dad know that he either takes responsibility for his daughter's behavior, or he may take his daughter, and himself, elsewhere.  He may well get up on his hind feet and bark about "you'd throw me out over a cat?"  The proper response is, "Yes, that and the total lack of consideration and respect for your roommate's feelings and, if that's how you think of it, your roommate's property." 

Now, me, I'm NOT a nice person...If I were your brother, I'd also add that I didn't want my child growing up around such a horrible example of unacceptable behavior.  Like I said, I'm not nice.  Warm-hearted, kind when allowed to be, but not nice.

 

[stewball]

Wow. There's a saying in the Harry Potter books that goes, "If you want to know what a man's like, look at how he treats his inferiors - not his equals." And I've always applied this to people who treat innocent animals like theyre less than them. So sorry for this situation. I've been in a similar situation when I hung out at my best friend's house a lot when I was a teenager. Without going into too much detail, we both thought her (now ex-) boyfriend was being cruel to her cats, and for a long time she tried correcting his behavior. He never changed though.

I'd be livid if someone treated my Elfie this way. But I agree with Myrth: people like this don't change, and it might happen again if you aren't careful.

People already gave you great suggestions. I have a few too. If possible, I'd provide a scratching post with a high perch that the kid can't reach in the livingroom. Along with a hiding spot or two. Meaning something like this. It'll give her a place to de-stress when the kid is chasing her or something.

Kids and cats don't go together all that well but, at the same time, kids are way more adaptable than adults. Try to have a talk with her and say things like, "Kitties don't like to be startled, so you need to be careful and relaxed if you want her to like you" or "If you want to play with the kitty, use this --" and give her one of those toys on rods, like daBird or something. She'll be able to engage and play with the cat from a safe distance. And watching a cat play can teach her a lot about cats, and may help with how she deals with her.

Hope this gave you some ideas, and good luck   

I'm sorry. I wouldn't bother with the child anymore. She's been explained to enough. Don't let her near your kittie any more period. Are you forced to have anything to do with this nasty child,

 

[stewball]

I may have something constructive to add to this in a few minutes, but right now I'm so irate about how your cat was treated that I don't trust myself to say more than, "You handled it very well indeed, and far better than I would have."

~mutters to self~  breathe, breathe, breathe...

OK...the best part of this is that you, your boyfriend and your brother are making a united front.  Perhaps the two couples could have a meeting and agree to let the single dad know that he either takes responsibility for his daughter's behavior, or he may take his daughter, and himself, elsewhere.  He may well get up on his hind feet and bark about "you'd throw me out over a cat?"  The proper response is, "Yes, that and the total lack of consideration and respect for your roommate's feelings and, if that's how you think of it, your roommate's property." 

Now, me, I'm NOT a nice person...If I were your brother, I'd also add that I didn't want my child growing up around such a horrible example of unacceptable behavior.  Like I said, I'm not nice.  Warm-hearted, kind when allowed to be, but not nice.

I like you!!

 

[fhicat]

Move out ASAP, or kick that person out ASAP. I know it's easier said than done, but some things do not deserve second chances, and this is one of them. People go to jail for first offenses. This is not something you should ever tolerate. No one has the right to physically abuse another living being.

Your cat is not safe with this person.

Please don't hesitate to put your foot down hard with the people and their behavior.

Feel free to put your foot down hard on the people themselves too.

 

[gandalfsmommy]

I would move out if possible. I recently started talking to a guy but cut him off as soon as he pushed my cat off my bed. I would definitely keep the cat in the room away from the child because I agree cats get overloaded with loud children.

 

[ginny]

I would move out if possible. I recently started talking to a guy but cut him off as soon as he pushed my cat off my bed..

Uhm, THAT is definitely a deal breaker right there!!! What a jerk! Good thing you saw that. Shows his character, or lack of it. You spared yourself and your kitty a lot of misery!

 

[Elfilou]

The defiant stare she gave is not the reaction of a child feeling remorse or guilt but the stare of a child saying "You can't tell me what to do."    

I sadly have to agree. I don't agree with blaming kids for their behavior when theyre around that age (I do believe in discipline, that's the whole point - kids being disciplined correnctly by their parents) kids mimick their parents a lot and are reliant on them to learn what's okay and what isn't. So I wouldnt call her evil. I think most kids who aren't raised with cats don't know how to deal with them. When I was a kid I was SO afraid of cats, and didn't even want to look at them when I knew they were around. Of course this caused them to be drawn to me, and for years I had no idea why. I thought they were out to get me. Other adults who don't like cats often say: "Cats just don't like ME" There you can also see that they've never been shown how to interacts with cats.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that most kids deal with situations the best way they know how. She doesn't know a better way. But since it seems like she doesn't like getting told what to do, and the dad doesn't seem to care to discipline her, I wholeheartedly agree to keep her in your room. I always see that kind of stuff as a last resort though since, I mean, it's Missy's house too. The entire situation is sad but great job at how you're dealing with it. I wouldve been so mad too.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I like you!!

Thank you.  Just being honest.  I read this thread all the way through yesterday and I'm still shaking every time I think about it.  One should NOT have to be concerned about a beloved pet being mistreated in one's own home!!!

 

[jdanke]

Would I be crossing the line if i said next time the kid acts up smack dad as hard as he smacked your kitty?  Sorry this gets me boiling...  I have never disciplined others kids or animals.. ever.. its not my place.  Ive always said ill hit the parents or pet owners before i spank the kid/cat/dog because in essence its the parents fault. I had the discussion with my neighbor about his dog that trapped my wife in the car on two occasions and chased a mom with a stroller on another. First time it was an accident I said but second time it was poor owners. I am 255 lbs and short tempered when it comes to people and idiocy  "when the time comes and your dog gets put down I want you to know its your fault not the dogs and If its because I had to call Im holding you responsible for making me do it".    Havent had to deal with the dog since that time and the neighborhood is a little more peaceful. My point is in my eyes the parent of the child is responsible for her actions and if he allows her to torture the cat then blames the cat for acting out he needs to be corrected. This isnt  vicious dog, not a rabid cat attacking everyone... its a cat that feels threatened defending itself. Tell dad to get his kid in order now before shes an entitled feeling teenager.

 

[Margret]

My first reaction would probably have been to smack the roommate and see how he likes it!!

Sorry, it makes me so mad to hear about that.

Me, too, but don't do it. It's a good way to get yourself arrested.

Who is leasing the home? Did you move in with this jerk and his kid, or did they move in with you?

If they moved in with you, eviction is a possibility. I've had to do that; it was the only way to get rid of the houseguests from hell (stayed a whole year, damaged the house, stole, cleaned by throwing things away, turned my indoor kitty into an indoor/outdoor kitty, and eventually physically abused me!). Find out what the laws are in your state. And let everyone know that the next time anyone abuses your cat, you will have them charged with animal abuse. And get that door lock. If the father (so-called — he's not much of a parent) allows his daughter to continue abusing your cat, you'll charge him with animal abuse, as the responsible party.

When I was a kid we lost a dog because the neighbor's children poked things through the fence to torment her, and one time she bit a finger in self defense. The authorities confiscated her and killed her for being "viscious." Don't let this happen to your cat.

Margret

 

[Margret]

Do you know how to give your door a lock?  We had to change the locks on our house after we evicted the house guests from hell, and the easiest way was to go to Home Depot (the cheapest hardware store around here) and buy new doorknobs that came with keys.  We got help from one of the employees to find two doorknobs that had matching locks so that both the front door and the door into the garage would unlock to the same key, which you don't need to worry about.  After that, all it really takes is good lighting, a bit of patience getting things lined up properly, and the right screwdriver.  I had a bit of trouble because the screws that came with the new doorknob weren't quite long enough for the front door, until I realized that that just meant I should use the old screws instead.  You may want to ask your boyfriend to help you with this project; there are times when three or four hands are better than two.

If you're worried that the landlord won't approve the change, don't inform him or her; just hang on to the old doorknob and the screws and change it back before you move out.  Then there's nothing for anyone to complain about.

Margret

 

[lykakitty]

This makes me so angry! If anybody, especially somebody I lived with hit any of my animals they'd be out before I could sit them down for a chat. I wouldn't tolerate that AT ALL. I absolutely say either move out or kick him out. Neither you or Missy deserve to live with somebody like that.

As far as making your kitty more comfortable, a big step will be getting her away from him, and after that you need to show her that it's okay to trust people and come to them for attention. It sounds like you're doing good at that, giving her her space and letting her come to you when she's ready. Just be sure to avoid any sudden movements or loud noises around her for now and make sure when she does come to you or anybody else she gets plenty of pets and treats but is free to leave as soon as she wants to without anybody chasing her down. You don't want to scare her even more.

 

[busbyandsimba]

I almost feel sorry for this kid. It's father is obviously 1) disinterested in bringing her up well 2) cruel to animals and disrespectful of your feelings, so not a friend 3) a liar - he has lied about what he did, and by the sounds of things, has done so in front of his daughter. The kid is doomed.

It sounds like you have been beyond reasonable, but to be honest I wouldn't want to know him or his child anymore. You can't change them. Don't bother trying, just consider yourself fortunate that you can see him for what he is. They aren't worthy of your time or energy so focus on Missy instead.

Make it clear that neither he nor his doomed offspring are allowed near Missy. When you're not there keep her locked in the room until you can get rid of him or move out yourself. Missy isn't safe with her around - she knows what she can get away with now and will probably be happy making things up to get attention. I've tried Feliway with my two rescues who were abused. Didn't do one bit of good. Consistent reassurance, being calm around them, letting the skittish one choose when to come and see me and an awesome set of toys have all helped but it's uphill and ultimately none of its enough unless you remove them from the original abuser ie the flat mate. His scent and the sound of him can't be drowned out. Moving out may sound drastic, but ultimately who wants to live with someone like that and you'll never forgive yourself if something else happens. Good luck.