My Queen becoming aggressive with father cat

[tomdear]

My cat Rita, who is on the verge of delivery is showing great aggression with Tom, the father cat that we had to lock her up with food, water & litter in the room where a birth shelter was prepared. Any idea how to cope given Tom has also become very vocal.

 

[StefanZ]

You must separate them.  the mom must be unstressed.

there ARE cases when a tom is very friendly with mom, her husband or roommate, so to speak, and acts like help mother.  So Im not saying you must always separate them.  Although it is always wise to keep a close look, at least in the beginning.

But here it is very clear: the mom doesnt want him to be near.  Obey that.

good luck!   *vibes*

ps.  you can try with a feliway diffuser, and soft calming & relaxing music.

but till you are sure the mom welcomes him in to her, they must be separated.

 

[tomdear]

Thank you so much for the reply but should they be kept separated after Rita gives birth to her kittens. It will be hard then noting that Tom generally is very friendly but he turned very vocal as Rita is away.

 

[StefanZ]

If they are usually very friendly with each other, and Tom is a friendly tom, you can perhaps try to let them meet later on.  IF the mom allows it, and you notice she is happy with it.  Observe them close in the beginning.

As now and several weeks forwards, the Queen rules.  And her and her childrens welfare is your main concern.

Toms can be dangerous to small kittens. But it is a sad fact highly stressed moms may also be dangerous to kittens. 

So whatever you do, try to keep her happy and not stressed.

If Toms whings gets annoying, put him in away somewhere... Let him have music, TV on etc... Let him look on birds outside.

Are you a breeder?  If not, you can always begin with neutering him. they his loud volume will gets lower.

AND the danger for kittens less.

If you ARE a breeder, or VERY determined to take more litters, you must just copy with the situation. 
 

 

[jennyr]

SAdly, it is in the nature of tomcats to kill kittens, so they can mate witht he mother as soon as she comes into heat again. The 'father' cat will have no idea that he is the father and may or may not be friendly with the kittens. So as Stefan says, be very careful and if he shows the least sign of aggression then separate them, and never leave him alone with the kittens. Having said that, some toms love kitrens and let them nurse on them and play with them. But you can never be sure. It would be best to neuter him as soon as possible unless he is a pedigree stud.

 

[tomdear]

Rita gave birth to 2 kittens, one of which is still that was in like 6 hours. She is not nursing them. My husband stayed with her but she seemed to know what she should do but he left a couple of hours to work. She is still locked in the room with necessary nest while Tom is locked up with me in another room I can' t go to check on her because Tom will start to be vocal & frightens her. Is that ok to leave her alone making sure Tom does not have an access. We will both have to go to work tomorrow. Thanks for everybody's help ; it is a new experience for us.

 

[tomdear]

Oh sorry, I need to ask also when to remove the dead kitten so not to bother the mother & how to make sure there are no further kittens to be delivered? Thanks

 

[StefanZ]

Rita gave birth to 2 kittens, one of which is still that was in like 6 hours. She is not nursing them. My husband stayed with her but she seemed to know what she should do but he left a couple of hours to work. She is still locked in the room with necessary nest while Tom is locked up with me in another room I can' t go to check on her because Tom will start to be vocal & frightens her. Is that ok to leave her alone making sure Tom does not have an access. We will both have to go to work tomorrow. Thanks for everybody's help ; it is a new experience for us.

Sorry, what are you saying here?? One is dead, I understand and she understands.  IS she nursing the one alive?  giving milk etc?   If not, YOU must do it, ASAP, time is running out.

Kittens usually themslves seaks out the tits and suckle.  If they dont do it, they may be too weak. Perhaps too cold (quite common). Or even too warm.  You can try to boost some extra energy in a weak kitten by giving it a little white caro syrup on the gum. Or dextrose sugar. Or honey.

If it doesnt help, you must give it nourishment yourself if you want to try to save it.  It is easier for them to get replacement milk from you than suckle themselves.  (if necessary, ask, perhaps in a new tread)

Mom usually manage quite well, but if they dont do and you must help her or her kittens, her needs are of course more important than a howling tom.  Let him howl.

I think YOU are more stressed by this than she is.  If he is locked in behind double doors, she knows it.

" I need to ask also when to remove the dead kitten so not to bother the mother & how to make sure there are no further kittens to be delivered? "

If she doesnt nurse it, she probably understnds he is gone. Does she have it immediately near her, or is he laid at the nests outer perimeter?  If the second, you can take him away.  YOu can be sure she knows and already said goodbye..

Try to weigh the alive kitten every day, so you see it gains in weigh properly.  That is standard to do, and extra important here as you arent sure if she nurses properly, and there may be other complications too.

You cant be sure if there are more.  Cats can deliver hours, even days apart.  so it is not unusual they deliver some premature (who oftne dont makes it), but a couple of days later she deliver the rest, healthy and good.

The key?  if she is contend and happy, you can wait, closely observing but not panicked.

If she is visibly in distress, contact your vet, begin with phone.

With a little luck it is just next oncoming, with unluck you must rush in.

Good luck!

 

[missymotus]

 Is that ok to leave her alone 

No it isn't. You need to be with her to ensure the kittens are birthed properly, to make sure they're breathing once the head is out, count placentas (a retained placenta causes infection).

Remove the dead kitten now, RIP little one.

 

You can't let your boy around her until she's been spayed, he will still be fertile for up to 8 weeks.

 

[jennyr]

I am sorry that has happened, but you must go in to check on her, even for a few minutes and to remove the dead kitten. If s he is not nursing the other one you will have to step in. Whatever, you must start to weight h e kitten every day on a small scale to monitor its progress, as this seems to be a difficult situation for the mother cat and she may not be managing things herself. Good luck.

 

[tomdear]

Thanks everybody for your useful advice. We took Rita to the vet who confirmed via an ultra sound that there are no more kittens waiting for delivery though he commented the Rita's belly is strangely a bit  big. She had fever as well. She was given a long lasting antibiotic until he checks on her tomorrow. I helped her to nurse her only child twice and she was really patient as I adjusted her posture. I think the little one was sufficiently fed as she stopped crying and slept peacefully. I just was not bold enough to weigh the kitten. I will start that tomorrow as he gains little strength. She had a normal meal as well.

Thanks again 

 

[StefanZ]

Tx for telling. I was already fearing.  Now I can go to sleep with clean mind.  

Good luck!   *vibes*

ps. when you do weigh, do it so the mom sees the procedure, so she wont get anxious not knowing where her child is.   And it takes just a few seconds, not much longer.  If the scale is of metal, put a cloth on it, or warm it up a little.

 

[tomdear]

Hi all

unfortunately we lost the little one yesterday. He nursed very little Wednesday night with help, stopped completely & became less mobile Thursday morning. His belly was though swelled that I thought he was fed all night. We went to work & were back to find him dead. Rita looked depressed & continued to be aggressive with Tom until today morning. Anyway I would like to thank you all for your beneficial assistance especially Stefanz.

 

[jennyr]

I am so sorry for your loss of the little one, but sadly these things happen. I hope you sort out any remaining aggression problems soon. Is it practicable to get her spayed now? She will probably come back into heat very soon.

 

[curiosityscat]

I am so sorry about what happened to your family. Things sometimes happen, and you can't always "fix it", but kudos to you for trying. I'm sorry for your loss.I wasn't going to respond, because everyone has done a good job of covering things, but decided in case others have this issue, they might find this info helpful, so please pardon this additional post during your time of loss and difficulty. But, maybe it will help others (or you in the future).1st) In a study of barn cats (like 30-60 of them, so it was a fair population study), they found that male cats either the mating father or other males, commonly will kill kitten liters in order to being the female back in heat quicker (so they can mate again, even if it is their own litter), so it is very important to keep male cats away from pregnant females (one never knows when they'll give birth or where, as females tend to seek out somewhere they feel safe in order to give birth.) It could be a closet, under your bed, etc. and since you want to know, it is important to provide a "cozy" place, but also a controlled environment (so you don't end up with icky birthing stuff on your expensive shoes or under your bed where it is hard to clean up, etc.2nd) Contrary to popular belief New mother cats do not always naturally know what to do. This is why some new mothers will eat their young (icky, but it happens, sometimes because they start eating the birthing sac and get carried away, etc.) So it is best to monitor the birth (also, in case your cat has a breach or ends up in distress). A soft fuzzy towel is a good way to help a new born kitten (like if she is birthing quick and doesn't seem to have time from one to the next) you can take the kittens (in front of mom always) and rub them gently to promote their breathing response. Also a human baby nasal sucker can be used to help clear the new born kitten's airway. Gentle vigorous rubbing is very important, to immediately place the kitten back in with the mother cat at in her face for her to lick it, and put the kitten by one of her teats to encourage the new born to begin feeding (and so mom doesn't end up rejecting the baby).3) As I said about new mother cats do not always know what to do, so keep in mind that mother cats will often nudge and flip her babies (or should) over while they are suckling on her teat, so the mom cat can lick the kitten's privates, which in new born kittens triggers their bathroom response. If mom does NOT do this, then take a dry wash cloth with only one warm wet tip, and using the warm wet tip to gently rub both the anal and (*laughs* sorry, umm..pee) private parts (the purpose is to mimic a mother's wet tongue motion), and then the new born will poop and pee. A hard belly (isn't always, but can be) a symptom that the new mom isn't triggering the new born's poop and pee instinct (they don't automatically just know to go to the bathroom). Do not be surprised if you see the mother cat licking her baby's privates and eating what comes out (*gag*), because that is what mom does to keep the birthing nest area clean. *shrugs* So, a hard belly can indicate the new born kitten has a fully inside and needs to poop or pee (again, they do not always just automatically evacuate their bowels, they need to be stimulated by that warm wet licking motion to do it).4) Other than the above, and ensuring a warm, dark --as that usually means "private" to mother cats, dry, cozy (again she needs to feel safe -- hence why a box with a blanket or towels work well) location. And ensuring no other cats can get to her and her kittens, and monitoring both mom and babies, rubbing just born kittens w/towel, or clearing airways, there isn't much else you can do to help her. Unless she rejects a or all of her kittens, and if that happens, it is all on you to be mom, bottle fed every 30min/1hr I think, but you can google time times as it has been a while since I bottle raised my kitten..you can find the bottles and either carton milk or powdered mix either at the local grocery store, wal-mart or feed and seed. And making sure to stimulate their pee'ing and pooping with a wash cloth or a damp paper towel, there isn't much you can generally do.I hope the above helps..and as always, it is just my own opinion, and/or from my own experiences.

 

[missymotus]

 Rita looked depressed & continued to be aggressive with Tom until today morning.

Sorry for your loss.

Please don't allow the cats to be around each other until both are fixed.

 

[StefanZ]

. Anyway I would like to thank you all for your beneficial assistance especially StefanZ.

Im sorry it ended so, very sorry.   RIP little one.

Such things happens with kittens dying, even seemingly entirely healthy kittens having perfect nursing from mom and owners. Not seldom it is pneumonia because of water they got in the lungs during birth, taking healthy newborns. They die away a couple of days after the birth...   So did one of my "grandchildren".

Keep your tom and female separated till they are spayed.  Believe me, Tom´s live will be easier and more enjoyable for him (and you) when he becomes neutered. I had myself done this journey, as my both residents were toms and studs "begging by behaving good not to be neutered".

IF you REALLY wants to have a litter, dont let them mate till at a half year from now, so Rita recovers completely.  You dont need to wait a full year, as the litter wasnt big, and thus didnt took so very much on her.

Good luck!   *vibes*

 

[StefanZ]

.you can find the bottles and either carton milk or powdered mix either at the local grocery store, wal-mart or feed and seed.

Good advices!.  Although groceries etc, to buy in, is a little unsafe. Because the cheap kitten milk replacements found at the local food shops are of unsecure quality. Unless you KNEW the brand they do have is of a decent quality, it is safer to buy it at the vet, pharmacia / apothece, or at least in a well sorted pet shop.  Wellknow are the KMR brand. Royal Canins for kittens is also good nowadays. There are also others useful.  But some not so good (even the big Royal Canins formula wasnt so good several years ago).

although, in a emergency, late evening everything closed but the local store nearby...

A safe alternative is goat milk if you can get this. But NOT cow milk.

 

[tomdear]

Thank you again & again for the useful advices for the future since my daughter & husband insist to have Rita go through the experience again though I am very worried. I have got a question, I cannot separate Tom & Rita as we are attached to them & we absolutely got no other place to relocate any of them. So. any ideas how to postpone their mating to make sure Rita is healthy enough.

Looking forward to your helpful ideas. The second question is that Rita still got milk, What to do about that?

Thanks

 

[StefanZ]

 The second question is that Rita still got milk, What to do about that?
Thanks

There may be kittens in need of mom?

Im not sure if you dare to try with just found "homeless" kittens;  I wouldnt NOT advise it, unless Rita is herself fostered ex-semiferal (they are survivors and thus of tough wood).

Or the kittens had gone a good vet check etc...

but there may be other, owned, healthy kittens who suddenly got motherless. Or where their mom didnt had milk, or had emergency spaying.

If Rita being foster mom is feasible for you; announce in your town. Phone vets around, cat clubs, perhaps shelter of really good reputation...  Hurry...

She will dry out soon, although if a kitten uses her, the milk will return if it isnt too long.

Otherwise, I suppose it will dry out by itself. Not so pleasant for her, both the drying and the missing her children...

Try to give her company and comfort.