My inside cat (of 1.5 yrs-- formally a feral) escaped Friday night and I haven't seen him since!

[supermax1943]

I am so happy and excited for you!!! Yea Jeff! Hang in there boy!

What a relief for you. I don't know why, I just had a feeling it would be okay.

Stay in touch, I hold my breath when I check the computer at night, just hoping he is back.

I will keep up the good thoughts.....

 

[tiger cat]

aww i love this site everyone is so helpful. i saw him again he comes later 8ish and it is dark around then. he meowed at me but i cant get close to him without him runnning off. at least if i set a schedule for feeding and seeing him ill have the trapper jelp me capture him at that time. i have a hav a heart i lent to someone waiting on getting it back from her... already asked her but i think the drop trap will work on him trapper said she can help me in a few days. at least i know hes around and ok. just need him to hold out for a couple more days. it was nearly 70 degrees today so at least the weather has been good.

 

[supermax1943]

Such good news. I have a feeling the problem now is that he doesn't want to come in!

Just imagine what a great time he has been having!

He can get up in a tree if he gets scared.

The home and the cat he loves are still right where he left them, and he can watch to see his "home" people.

And, there are all of these fun things to do out here!!!!

The weather is great! Wonder why my mom doesn't come out too!!

I know when any of my indoor ferals don't want to be picked up, they just simply stay out of reach.

He has probably been secretly mourning to be outside every day of his life (even though he obviously loves you and his home so much).

I have a feeling it isn't going to be easy to get him.! My guess is you might need the drop trap.

But, yea  I am so happy for you both.

 

[tiger cat]

he might not want to come in. there seems to be a ton of action in my backyard ever since it got warmer.i saw jeff tonight went to put wet food near the oak tree. jeff stood by then fence while i did and then ran off. ugh again. 3 min later diddy (who fought with garf garfand is this gangster black cat) shows up with a kitten like cat (in the pic). ive seen the lil one before but s/hes very skiddish. diddy stood by her side the whole time while she ate the entire can of wet food then he ate when she was done. its either his kid or his lady friend right? then i heard horrible cat screams/fighting. i walked over and scared off a black cat either jeff or the lil one diddy was trying to sex? like horrible screams. apparently diddy stayed and hid in the bush looking at me.. not even scared.im getting my trap back tomorrow and will attempt to get whoever i can. diddy, lil girl or jeff. everyone of mine has veen fixed so i cant have these other 2 black cats creating more offspring! diddy needs to get snipped asap. i hope this is not all too much for jeff! he keeps running off. either hes overwhelmed with all thr cat activity or is having fun and doesnt want to come back. can't figure out which yet!

 

[tiger cat]

heresthe pic of the gangsta diddy standing by while the little one eats all the wet food!

20150416_193039.jpg

• tiger cat
• Apr 16, 2015

 

[supermax1943]

So sweet, cats are just the best. He/she must be watching over the little one. 

I would go with: Jeff is just having too much fun.

His behavior is typical of just not wanting to come to you, even though he knows who you are.

Have you given any thought to just letting him do what he wants to do?

How hard would it be for you to let him stay outside?

When I started working with my colony I knew from the beginning I just wasn't and couldn't take them all inside. The more I watched over them, the more I realized they didn't want to come in and be my house kitty. What they wanted was to stay outside and be wild; but they needed help to do that. They needed food and water and shelter in the winter.

There are pros and cons of managing a feral colony all ways, either all inside, all outside, or some of both.

My house is completely open, with sliding glass doors all around, so the cats can come in and out as they please.

Eventually many of the ferals decide, when it is cold, that being inside my house is a really good idea. So, they come in at night, sleep inside, and leave in the morning.

I am really happy with the set-up, and it works for me. But, it might not work for you.

Is there any way to set up your house so Jeff could go in and out, but not his Mom?

Anyway, give it some thought. I know right now you must have your thoughts on your own new baby, so maybe it would be too much to think about.

On the other hand, I am suspecting, that Jeff is trying to tell you he wants to stay outside. Since he hasn't left, he is also telling you he loves you and wants to be with you, but just in a different way.

If you let him stay out, I think what will happen is eventually he will come to you.

I would try just sitting down outside and let him come to you. DO NOT try to grab him (although you will be tempted to). Just sit quietly with him a distance from the house. Pet him if he will let you.

If you could do that, you will establish a new and different kind of relationship with him.

Once he "gets" that you are giving him his freedom, you will find he will come to you.

Try it, if you can. Remember, he is not a naive feral kitten. He lived outside for a year, so he has street smarts. If he was born a feral, he will never lose his feral instincts for survival. That doesn't mean he can protect himself from every thing that could go wrong, but for the majority of things he will know what to do. Part of allowing the feral cats their freedom for me, is relying on the thought that these cats are in my care for a reason. Whatever that reason, I remember, that I need to do all that I can for them, but that they are wild, and only in my care. If they don't make it for some reason, it is all part of the plan....the plan of the universe (which, I might add, is not always my plan

). But it helps to let go of the outcome, and find joy in knowing how happy they are.

By the way, the cat fighting can sound really awful. It is simply par t of the song and dance of male domination

that goes on this time of the year. I always go outside and make terrible noise myself when I hear it, which usually stops the fighting. (I get really vocal...screaming and yelling and throwing large crashing objects!!) my neighbors already know I am crazy, so it doesn't bother them.) 

Since Jeff is neutered, he will stay away from the fights. The fights are happening between the non-neutered male Tom cats, so don't worry about Jeff. Sounds, too, as if Jeff is smart enough to stay away from the intact males. The intact males are also not interested in fighting with Jeff since he is neutered.

Whew! sorry I went on for so long. Take care of yourself, and give some thought to giving Jeff his freedom. If you can't do it, that is okay too. Do what is best for you and your about to be new child.

 

[Freedom]

For some reason, a cat who gets out (whether formerly feral or not) becomes nervous about returning in, about having a human touch.  That has been my experience (I've had a few escapes over the years).  Just about drives me nuts -- I am NOT known for my patience, ha haaa.

So glad you have seen him, and he is staying close by.  That is great!

I never had success w/ the drop traps, simply due to what I wrote above.  Hav A Hearts worked for my escapees.  I had one sit atop the fence, less than 5 feet from me, watch me set the Have A heart each night.  I had to really control myself, and make sure I did tie it open the first 2 nights to get her used to going in there to eat.  Third night,  got her.  The feeling of relief, when you have YOUR kitty back in with your clowder, is just amazing!  Sounds like you will experience that feeling soon. 

 

[tiger cat]

Thanks guys! I wish Jeff could just tell me "I want to be outside/I'm happy" or "I want to come in but I'm scared to return" I honestly don't know which one it is.  I don't think I saw him today. Only saw Diddy. Got my Hav a Heart back today but it was too late to set it out at that time since diddy already ate.  Diddy came back with his little girlfriend/child.  I saw her alone earlier this a.m. soaking wet and Garfield didn't fight her but walked behind her until she ran away.  when she came back with diddy he let her eat all the food again while he stood guard.  Is that normal? it seems like it's family or his woman.  I don't really have the set up to allow the cats to come and go so Jeff is just going to have to be an indoor or outdoor boy. Plus we have crazy raccoons foxes lots of ticks etc in the woods and I'm a block away from a preserve which goes on for miles. I just can't deal with all the insects and bugs and anything else that might come in.  and have to be so careful now that I'm pregnant. My poor husband has to do the litter every day by himself.  I wish i had a sunroom or just sitting in the window would make Jeff content like it does my other 3.  They love the window but even in the summertime jeff would cry every night at the window. I'd tell him to be quiet and then he'd run to the basement and cry down there lol. But he loved to be pet so much. He didn't like to be picked up but craved human touch and would follow me everywhere.  I'm going to try to trap diddy tomorrow and hopefully get a vet to take him in, then I have to capture the little one and eventually Jeff.  Again just wish he could talk to me and tell me what he wants. I know the other 3 are happy inside but Jeff I'm just not sure especially now that he has a taste of the outside. I live in the suburbs on a block where there are at least 4-5 barns with horses, trees, preserve nearby and relatively quiet street.  I guess if I was a cat I'd want to explore too, but the foxes scare me.  Haven't seen any recently but couple years ago I saw one chase one of my boys.  You always worry and I figured if Jeff was inside it'd be one less cat for me to worry about- for my own selfish reasons!

At the same time Jeff is probably around 7 yrs old and doesn't he want to retire and chill out?  I know indoor cats can live long sedentary lives. just trying to give him the best opportunity i can. And to be old and outside I would think the odds aren't in his favor.

 

[supermax1943]

I believe Jeff is telling you loud and clear what he wants. And, I think he has been telling you for a long while, which is why he was crying when he was inside. He wants to be outside. If we can try to be a cat when we are working with these animals I think it helps to understand them.

They only have a few ways of speaking to us. Crying is one of them.

Of course, if you simply cannot live with him being outside,then you will have to bring him back in.

If you can let him live outside, then you can establish a new kind of relationship with him. 

Since he loves being petted by you, then establish a way to pet him outside.

You can do that, by pulling up a chair near where you have seen him. Gently call for him. And then sit there and wait. Do that until he comes to you, and lets you pet him. If you will be patient with that process, eventually, he will jump in your lap, and your new relationship will begin.

After some time when he is feeling safe (that you are not going to grab him and take him inside), then start moving your chair, very slowly, bit by bit, every couple of days closer to the porch. Before long you will be able to have the chair on your porch and he will come. Then you can try bit by bit to move inside with the chair, until low and behold you have an indoor-outdoor cat.!

It isn't necessary to do it as I do it, with doors open, etc.

Hope that helps. When I am working with a cat like this I have to find a way to "let myself" sit quietly without doing anything until the cat starts coming to me. It is sort of like trapping. I always think of the million things I should be doing instead of sitting in a chair doing nothing! But, sometimes it helps to just think of it as a "time out" for me.

You will have to do what is best for you and your situation.

My reply today is attempting to answer your question about "wishing you knew what Jeff wanted".

I am a strong believer in the fact that cats do "speak" to us, and we can hear, if we can take the time to listen.

Sending good thoughts to you and Jeff. And hugs too.

 

[tiger cat]

Thank you, I am ok with this, with him being an outdoor cat.  I think if it was the middle of winter I'd be too upset to leave him out there.  But since it's just spring now, 70 degrees today-- then I'll see how he adjusts in the meantime until it gets cold again.  I planned on using our lean/to shed to make into a place where the cats can go, should they choose, I'd cut a little door in the shed so they can go in and out.  In the meantime I have to get these other 2 new cats I saw fixed.  If Jeff is for some reason scared and staying away because of this dominant male, having him neutered will resolve that situation and maybe Jeff will come around more. Diddy has taken over my backyard to the point where my 2 outside boys for 2.5 yrs (Garfield and JC) feel threatened.  I'll continue to feed everyone as I have done and just hope for the best.

You're right he's the only one that cried.  My other 3 are perfectly content just looking out the window and smelling through the screens. Thank you for giving me some reassurance.  

 

[supermax1943]

Tiger Cat,

I hear some peace in your message.

Make sure the hole you cut for shelter is the only large enough for the cats to get in. If racoons can get in, they will take it over.  I make my cat holes 5 1/2" x 5 1/2 " although it looks small, the cats can get inside.

And, please don't give up on having a new relationship with Jeff. He wants outside, but he will also always wants your petting and love. He is telling you that by staying around your property and letting you see him. What may scare him the most is you grabbing him and taking him back inside. Let him know you haven't stopped loving him just because he want s to be outside. 

I agree too that getting Diddy and the young cat fixed might also help. The little one could be Diddy's new girlfriend, if that is so, it would make Diddy even more protective of her and any territory he thinks belongs to him.

I hate to think of you having to trap, it is always such an effort to get it done, and always takes so much time. I'll keep my fingers crossed it goes smoothly for you!

 

[supermax1943]

You deserve the courage award for giving Jeff his freedom! I know it was a heart wrenching decision, but I believe it was the right choice.

If you can take the time to work with him outside, I am sure you will be able to get him to come in in the winter. Not having a cat door (as you explained because of other animals, etc.) will mean you will be opening and closing doors for him a lot at first, but eventually, even that will be a minimal problem after he "gets" that you are not going to keep him inside.

Anyway, you deserve a gold star, and you certainly have a huge hug from Jeff!

 

[tiger cat]

 
You deserve the courage award for giving Jeff his freedom! I know it was a heart wrenching decision, but I believe it was the right choice.

If you can take the time to work with him outside, I am sure you will be able to get him to come in in the winter. Not having a cat door (as you explained because of other animals, etc.) will mean you will be opening and closing doors for him a lot at first, but eventually, even that will be a minimal problem after he "gets" that you are not going to keep him inside.

Anyway, you deserve a gold star, and you certainly have a huge hug from Jeff!

Thank you! So it's 2 weeks today since he ran out. And it's been COLD on LI/NY.  32 degrees tonight and hasn't gotten above 50 this week! I captured diddy, the gangsta cat who fought my outdoor boy Garfield (fixed and very territorial here) Sad news with Diddy, I brought him to a clinic Weds morning they said shortly after neutering him he must've had a reaction to the anesthesia b/c he passed and never woke up.  I felt horrible.  I've gone to this clini before and have had other ferals neutered there, they told me there was no way of knowing if this could happen and it's not my fault but I felt so sad.  Now I haven't seen the little girl he traveled with or Jeff.  I keep putting food out near the tree which is by my neighbors shed (where they usually all stay) but garfield and his sidekick JC (my 2 regular outdoor boys) have been patrolling like crazy.  Garfield is much happier now that diddy is not around he was so nuts when diddy would show up b/c diddy fought him (an all out brawl twice, at least) blood fur, rolling around, I witnessed it myself Monday and had to break it up.  I just hope now that the tomcat (diddy) isn't around Jeff will come back.  I miss him so much.

 

[tiger cat]

jeffy boy a few weeks ago:

IMG_20150331_000310.jpg

• tiger cat
• Apr 24, 2015

 

[supermax1943]

Oh gosh I am so sad to hear about what happened to Diddy. And so sad you haven't seen his little mate. And, "Jeffy boy" looks as if he could have come from my colony of mostly blacks. My heart really hurts for you. There is something so sad and heartbreaking about taking a feral cat to be fixed and having such a sad outcome. It happened to me once, but luckily it was a feral I hadn't gotten to know very well. But, I know you did know Diddy. Seeing him care for the little one must have opened your heart to him. 

I just took two ferals in a couple of weeks ago to be fixed. When I got home the SPCA clinic called to say one of them had FIV and they felt he should be put down. I didn't know that much about it, and hated to bring him home only to have to return him again to be put down. I really relied on the vet's expertise about FIV and I am so sorry I did. They did put the guy down, and I had already grown to love him. He too had a girlfriend who has not been doing so well since he hasn't come back to her. I feel so horribly sad and guilty about the whole situation, it has haunted me terribly. I know now I should have brought him home and not given in to the hysteria about FIV. I am saying all this only to emphasize how I relate to what feelings you must be having now. And, I imagine it makes you worry about Jeffy boy more too.

I am so sad for you. At the same time, I am so impressed with the courage you had to let Jeff have his freedom. I hope, hope, hope, you will work on making new friends with him as the freedom loving cat he is becoming. I have really special relationships with some of the outside male ferals. And, because of the relationship you have had with Jeff, I  know it won't take much for you to establish that connection.

It must be hard now that it has gotten cold again. You could always try putting a feral shelter together for him and leaving it on the porch. I do the Rubbermaid (or similar plastic bins) the see-through kind with foam insulation on the bottom and filled with straw, a small hole (just large enough for a cat, about 5" x 5" in one side, with the lid). I have had ferals get into them very quickly, so maybe Jeff would get in one. It might be worth a try. 

I will send large kind thoughts your way tonight. This must be a really difficult time for you with your feral cats. I wish things were going easier for you. 

 

[tiger cat]

I just hope jeffy is ok. i have an igloo dog house at the edge of my property near the woods but no one uses it. i think they all like my neighbors dilapidated shed. i haven't seen jeff in days. i saw a black cat a couple days ago but i callled jeffy and it just ran away so i think it was diddys gf. there is probably another feeder in my neighborhood. my garfield was already ear tippes when i moved here so maybe jeffy is there i just want reassurance to see him again.

 

[supermax1943]

Of course you do! I am sending prayers and good thoughts to both Jeffy and you. 

I still have good feelings that he is okay. The cold weather might have made him look for someplace warm, and change his habits a little.

Be sure to continue to call for him each day. And, remember the 3 day rule with feral cats....they usually go away for three days at a time, so take deep breaths and try not to panic during the three day period. I can't tell you how many times remembering that has helped me.

Hugs, and good thoughts.

 

[tiger cat]

I miss my jeffy.  Was wondering if I should just set a trap in a couple days to see if I can capture diddy's girlfriend.  I saw a black cat Sunday night but couldn't tell who it was from that far away.  I do try to look out the window a lot but can't stand up for hours on end (5 1/2 mos pregnant and back is killing me these days) so Jeffy or the little black girl may be coming and I just miss them. I always put food out near the oak tree on the edge of the woods but raccoons and foxes have been taking advantage of this as well.

Ever since diddy has been gone Garfield has once again secured his spot as alpha cat and hasn't let anyone else in.  It's nice to just have the 2 of them but not when I know jeffy is still out there.  Hope he found somewhere to eat and sleep.  Wish he was home with me.  I really miss him especially when I see that photo of him on the chair upside down. He was so silly.

 

[supermax1943]

Is there anyway your husband could rig up something so you or both of you, could spend time sitting outside in the evening near the woods?

I just don't think Jeffy is going to go all the way to you without you doing some work on being close to him on the ground and near the woods.

Is the weather nice enough to just get a couple of really cheap plastic chairs you could put outside near the woods where you could relax have a soda and call for Jeffy? If you do that for a week or so, I think he will come to you, but you will have to meet him halfway.

I know missing him must be so sad. Try to remember how sad he was inside, and think about how happy he is outside, even though it is torture for you to think of him and be missing him so.

I think it is always good to trap and neuter any cat that you can. And, it might make you feel less sad about Diddy to take care of his little friend.

Another reason to try and go to where Jeffy might be is that he may not want to cross over Garfield's territory.

My thoughts are with you. Hoping Jeffy lets you see him soon. 

 

[tiger cat]

a couple weeks after this post our other cat Sasha ran out we had 4 inside cats total. my husband didnt realize one window didnt have a screen he opened it a crack and then saw sasha jump out we ran after him but he was gone for 4 days. also ran into the woods. well i called and found him that friday _(he ran away on a monday) i was able to coax him towards me(he was a former outdoor cat too) i grabbed him by the scruff and got him inside. 16 ticks and mites we removed but Jeffy never came back.. im so sad about jeff but cant believe how sneaky these cata are. i think sasha was scared and regretted running out when he did and he doesnt cry like jeff did at the window he just likes sitting in the window and watching outside. now we make sure to only open a window with a screen. only 1 window in the entire house had no screen (needed to be replaced) murphys law ugh
hope jeff is ok wherever he is!!!