My cat literally slashed my mother - Please Help :(

[grizzlysapien]

Thanks for caring, @Columbine  

 I really do appreciate it

I really hope my mom gets out of this really soon and without any more losses or delay.. I mean.. She's gone through enough already! She simply didn't know how to handle Grizzly, at a given point in time and under pretty weird circumstances. And she's paid for it BIG TIME. Now that the wound is open she avoids him again, but I cannot blame her. She should! There are all kinds of airborne bacteria she could contract and we'd be back to square one.

I also hope for Grizzly to be OK on his follow up. I just want him to be alright. We can manage the rest.

I might seem "gathered", but I am really not.. Yeah, OK, I do things that need to be done and run around like crazy to manage everything, but I don't keep it "together".. I mean that, I haven't had a good night's sleep in 10+ days.. I'm stressed all the time, I snap when people don't go my way.. Not in an unfair way.. But I've forgotten to be a "diplomat" sorta speak. So, see...? I am a mess.. I don't think I manage things better than any other would in my shoes.. Maybe some other person would have had some help? I don't have any help from anyone. I am just really good at being patient, 'cause I've been through worse. 

I really hope this all ends well.. 

 I'm exhausted..

 

[Columbine]

I can't imagine how tough this must be for you. It may feel like you're falling apart, but really - you're doing great :nod:

Vent here whenever you need to - god knows, I've done it enough...and over far more trivial things. I know I say it a lot, but hang in there! Things will get better, I'm sure of it

More vibes for you all

 

[siamiam2]

Thank you for caring. Problem, and this is huge....Annabel gets a stomach ache from dypenhydramine. Takes her 8 hours to get her appetite back[emoji]128558[/emoji]. She needs it for soy allergy I'm getting out of her. Any suggestions besides Antacid? I tried a little baking soda in water and had little success. That's not really good to begin with anyway. It's hard for her emotionally when she can't eat so I may hold off on the next dose (half a 25mg pill).

 

[grizzlysapien]

Guys, there's something I must be doing wrong.. Grizzly has the tendency of acting out again. Not as severely as last time.. But this morning he bit my leg out of the blue. He left just a scratch, nothing serious.. But it came from nowhere.. And he seemed agitated. He was not on a "play mode". I tried taming him by grabbing him by the neck (like cat mom's do) but he got angrier. At the end I just calmed him down after speaking softly to him..

The thing is, I can't keep doing that, cause he needs to know who's the boss.. Right now, he seems to perceive himself as the boss and does not discipline.

Half an hour ago, my mom asked me to go to her room and clean her wound. On the process of gathering the things we need to do this, she started yelling at me for some reason. Like "we need 2 ampoules of that" and I said "we need 1" .. we sorta disagreed and she yelled at me.. 

I am so fed up with this situation that I snapped out at her and asked her not to raise her voice at me.. But it was too late, she already raised her voice and I was already agitated.. Grizzly heard us, from the other room and he started meowing intensively.. My mom, told me it would be better if I were to calm down a bit before we did this, so I can be focused, so I left and came to my room.. Grizzly acted out again.. And this time he insisted.. I shut the door of my room, leaving him outside, to let him relax..

Guys, I really need your help.. This is not normal. We can't even argue on something without being in danger of being bitten or injured in general. OK, I know, animals respond to loud noises and such, but I have never seen other cats seizing homes and bossing humans around like that. I mean, I feel like a hostage in my home! I don't have the right to get angry with something, because I don't want Grizzly to "get wild", which makes me even angier..

Are you that careful in your homes? Tip toeing on everything you do, just so not to agitate your cats? Cause that's what I've ended up doing! 

 I can't take it anymore, seriously!

 

[NewYork1303]

I know if my fiance and I argue our cats will start getting weird and acting out. But since they have each other they seem to be good at directing any aggression into play and they will wrestle. I don't know if it is possible, but could you try getting grizzly to direct his attention to a toy when he starts getting upset so as to turn the aggression into an instinct to play instead. That might be really going out onto a limb, but it could work. 

When is Grizzly going to the vet to be checked up on? I think it is really important that any possible medical problem is ruled out.

 

[grizzlysapien]

Thanks for replying, @NewYork1303  I really appreciate it, as I need everyone's input on this.

I do try and direct his attention to some toy etc and it works. But today no toy was around to do so. He takes his toys out to the balcony and we were inside. 

I am going to arrange a vet appointment on the next week. I didn't have the time to take him these past few days (I wrote the reasons in my previous posts). 

But I am going to seek a 2nd opinion as well.. 

My mom's wound getting worse, resulted to her not wanting Grizzly in our home anymore.. Right when we had started making progress, we went 100 steps backwards, on that matter.
I want her to talk to a vet about this, to try and make her understand how this happened. I told her that the wound got worse by a useless doctor, it wasn't that bad the first day it happened... She insists that it might be so, but Grizzly caused the wound in the 1st place and she is afraid.. It is totally understandable.. But I really want to correct this whole situation. And letting Grizzly off the hook everytime he acts out, by "sweet-talking" or "directing his attention with a toy" is not a solution. He needs to be afraid of acting out to begin with. 

It's all so confusing in my head right now.. On one hand I don't want to give up on him.. Or rehome him.. I'm afraid that someone else won't be so patient with him and they might end up hurting him. On the other hand, I can't live like a hostage in my own home and be in a constant argument with my mom.. I feel like things have gone as worse as they could go.. 

I really, URGENTLY need more advice, input, opinions as to how I can correct this.. Seriously..

 

[evamilly]

Perhaps your mum could be the one who puts his food out every day, I know she would probably take some persuading, that might help them bond again! I would have the cats claws clipped as well so that they are not so sharp- might reassure your mother a little bit.

I assume your mother is on antibiotics for her would if it is infected? Did they send a swab of the the wound to the lab for cultures? To ensure the antibiotics are appropriate for the infection she has?

I agree with previous posts about getting Grizzly a thyroid function test as this could explain any weight loss and change in temperament.

You are doing all the correct things!

 

[grizzlysapien]

Perhaps your mum could be the one who puts his food out every day, I know she would probably take some persuading, that might help them bond again! I would have the cats claws clipped as well so that they are not so sharp- might reassure your mother a little bit.

 

[siamiam2]

I have Grizzly. In that case the cat trapped the family in the bedroom. They called the police or animal control. Notvsure which and forgot the after on this? I don't know what type of cat you have but the behavior might just be that of an ageing male? I'm sorry to your anguish and suffering and hope your vet can help. It is possible he needs medication. Like humansvwith mental imbalance. I'd ask maybe the vet agrees

 

[grizzlysapien]

@siamiam2   Grizzly is 16-17 months old. The vet I've been taking him, has already ruled out medication for mental disorder.. But I will take him to a 2nd vet. I don't think that medicating him will be a solution. He needs behavioural reprogramming. And I can't do this without any help or advice.

 

[siamiam2]

He's just a baby. Two things a) cardboard. Cats like to rip it up, Annabel liked to do that. Try string, or yarn play with it with him tug of war type. He's cutting his teeth. I don't know if you're home all day or work. If work? Separation anxiety. Cats are very emotionally sensitive. Meds then are..I guess out or stupid or both. Second? Catnip. If sold in Greece, I would imagine so if what I bought for Annabel had french writing on the back its Euro wide.

 

[kkoerner]

Is this calming collar something you could find there or order online?

http://www.sentrypetcare.com/products/sentry-calming-collar-for-cats-3-count/

 

[grizzlysapien]

**UPDATE**

You're gonna "love" this..

I talked to an animal behaviourist. He is specialized in Veterinary Behavioural Medicine and, for now, he is the only one "of his kind" in Greece..

He told me that Grizzly's behaviour is far from normal. The vet shouldn't have ruled out sedatives, cause they would have helped him calm down and cope with the stressful period that followed the incident.. Grizzly should be separated from my mother for as long as it takes for her to recover, especially now that the wound got worse. 

1. Because my mother cannot cope with the anxiety this whole situation and this would cause Grizzly to stress and it wouldn't do any good
2. Because Grizzly should take his "time off" my mother so to leave the incident behind
3. They will need to be reintroduced in new terms after this whole thing has passed.

He told me to keep up what I've been doing so far. Just stop my contact with him once he begins to act out again. Just be indifferent. On Monday he will talk himself with my vet to tell her to write me a prescription for sedatives ASAP, so to start Grizzly on them for a few days. Then he will come over my house to spent sometime with Grizzly, just to see what's triggering his behaviour. He will also talk to my vet about the high glucose, cause he saw Grizzly's bloodwork and his conclusion is what we've been saying from the beginning - high glucose enduced by high stress.. He wants a similar set of tests, to see about his thyreoid and anything else that might come up.

In a few words, he will talk with the vet from now on.. 

He got furious when I told him that the vet insisted that it was a normal behaviour. His opinion is that it is an "expected" behaviour - which I also said from the beginning - but not a normal one.. He will try to determine the cause of this behaviour and put on the top of his priotity list our safety and the well-being of Grizzly.. He warned me that, if our safety is threatened by Grizzly, it means that Grizzly will have to leave our home. But with behavioural issues like that, it will be difficult not to put in danger someone else that might take him in..

Now I am a total mess.. I am totally relying on this specialist to help me keep Grizzly in my home.. My mother is starting to be more determined that she is not going to be able to trust him again.. So, my last hope is really this guy, who seems to be honest, sincere, determined to see this through and at the same time realistic, without the "immature certainty" that "what he says is the absolute and right thing that will lead us to success".. He put a standard error possibility and warned me for the worse case scenario.. 

He's never even met me, and he talked to me on the phone for almost a full hour.. He is willing to take his payment in installments, as long as he does everything in his power to keep us safe and Grizzly get better.. 

For the 1st time in so many days, I got to really talk and get some definitive answers on what is and what to expect.. He also told me, that since Grizzly has manifested this behaviour once or twice, he WILL continue to act like that. So, we need to put a stop to that. I asked him if neutering him helps a bit.. His answer? NO! It won't.. It will just keep Grizzly calm when the females in the neighborhood are in "heat season".. Other than that, neutering offers nothing much to this particular problem.. But, he is not against neutering in general.

@siamiam2  thanks. I 've done all of that and Grizzly is already occupying himself with them.. I do not work, I am home all day long, so no separation anxiety. Catnip is sold in Greece, but I haven't found any need for Grizzly to have catnip, cause he is already playful and active. Plus he has already formed his preferences in terms of playing and toys. 

@KKoerner  thanks for the suggestion but the Animal Behaviourist said that such products help cases that are less aggressive.. I asked him about Valerian and Bach's Rescue Remedy and he said the same. That they WOULD work on a cat that isn't so aggressive and has never been the reason to send a human to the hospital.. 

 They do work in "easier cases" though..

 

[siamiam2]

Absolutely. There are two types? One is pheremones.??????? See also? I'm a vegetarian so I could lie on her it would be the same thing. The human body produces those = male/female attraction type of thing. The other is lavender. Seems the going calming scent for cats. Servants has them in the US online. I've yet to see anything in stores but places like PetCo (in the US)sell in store. I doubt such a concept exists yet in Greece or the rest of Europe. We're crazy about our pets here. Family members for the most part. I could be wrong cause I don't live there or anywhere in Europe. Problem is you'd have to pay dollars not Euros to get anything on line from here. Are your bank's ready to do that again yet? Then it would still be complicated. I've seen instructions on how to make one.maybe a better bet? But yes, they are readily available on line.

 

[kkoerner]

Well...I'm glad you found someone to help and who is there and can actually see Grizzly.... BUT, I don't agree that neutering won't help his aggression. That's a bit ridiculous to say it will only help with behaviors when females are in heat since hormones are responsible for a whole host of behaviors and aggression is one of them. Neutering WILL help calm him overall, not just when females are in heat. It is NOT a total fix, but it did help.

 

[kkoerner]

Also, the calming collar MAY help, and certainly won't hurt. Until this behavioral specialist actually spends some time with Grizzly, he is in the same boat as us, making suggestions as more of a guess since we have not witnessed the situation.

Again, that collar wouldn't be a total fix, but it still could help.

Reacting the way he did with the bird cage falling IS normal, as it is obvious he was scared. The part I wouldn't see as normal is that he seems to act terrified to the point of fight or flight with any loud sounds. This really seems like something happened and almost like a PTSD reaction, similar to fireworks setting off this fear reaction in people who have been to war. That is not normal, though it has become Grizzly's normal and I'd think that the only way to help him in that regard is to work with him to recondition him to not become so terrified at any loud sound.

It doesn't sound like "acting out" to me at all and I honestly believe that going down a path of "making him scared to act out" in this situation is only going to make it worse, since it seems this all stems from a fear to begin with. Talking to him calmly and helping him through it is not telling him that it is OK to DO these things he had or to act the way he has been, it is telling him that it is OK NOT TO act that way because he doesn't have to be scared. He is TERRIFIED in these moments....he needs help working through it.

Imagine you've been in a car wreck, your car spun out, you hit the wall and nearly died. Next time you try to drive you go around a corner and it triggers a memory of the accident, a reaction you can't control, and you close your eyes...you are terrified...you make it through it but then have to pull over and can't drive. Your passenger, scared now because you freaked out and closed your eyes while driving, screams at you. No kind words, no talking you down from the fear...just reprimanded. Of course you were wrong and it obviously can't continue....but you weren't doing it to cause trouble and what you needed was help from your passenger. To be told it's OK and to work through the fear so that you can control it. I imagine something like that for Grizzly since you said he seems to be terrified of all loud sounds and that it started out of the blue when he was older, but not as a kitten..... something scared him and it is now a trigger.

Obviously I can't say that is for sure the answer, it just seems like that to me from reading this whole thing.

 

[grizzlysapien]

Well...I'm glad you found someone to help and who is there and can actually see Grizzly.... BUT, I don't agree that neutering won't help his aggression. That's a bit ridiculous to say it will only help with behaviors when females are in heat since hormones are responsible for a whole host of behaviors and aggression is one of them. Neutering WILL help calm him overall, not just when females are in heat. It is NOT a total fix, but it did help.

Maybe that's what he meant in general, @KKoerner.. Though, he explained that this aggressive behaviour comes from different reasons. Something else is triggering it. If it was "hormone-based" it would still be aggression, but at a lower level. The level of aggression Grizzly manifested cannot be explained by plain hormones.. 

I've noticed that the occasions that caused him to run and hide, in the past, are the same ones he's acted out lately.. For example: vacuum cleaner, loud noises, things dropping.. He would just  

 Even when my mom and I argued sometimes, he would just stand between us and meow constantly to make us stop. He never attacked anybody..

But, in April he attacked me severely after I had started cleaning my room (he got scared by the broom) and now, he attacked my mother even more severely when he dropped the cage and made a loud noise.. His reaction to common things, that always used to happen in the past, has now changed to the worst!.. When I argue with my mom, he gets "charged" and ready to attack.. He wasn't like that at all.. This was one of the main reasons I hadn't proceeded with neutering.. Which of course, was a foul play on my part. I admit it.

 

[grizzlysapien]

Also, the calming collar MAY help, and certainly won't hurt. Until this behavioral specialist actually spends some time with Grizzly, he is in the same boat as us, making suggestions as more of a guess since we have not witnessed the situation.

Again, that collar wouldn't be a total fix, but it still could help.

Reacting the way he did with the bird cage falling IS normal, as it is obvious he was scared. The part I wouldn't see as normal is that he seems to act terrified to the point of fight or flight with any loud sounds. This really seems like something happened and almost like a PTSD reaction, similar to fireworks setting off this fear reaction in people who have been to war. That is not normal, though it has become Grizzly's normal and I'd think that the only way to help him in that regard is to work with him to recondition him to not become so terrified at any loud sound.

It doesn't sound like "acting out" to me at all and I honestly believe that going down a path of "making him scared to act out" in this situation is only going to make it worse, since it seems this all stems from a fear to begin with. Talking to him calmly and helping him through it is not telling him that it is OK to DO these things he had or to act the way he has been, it is telling him that it is OK NOT TO act that way because he doesn't have to be scared. He is TERRIFIED in these moments....he needs help working through it.

Imagine you've been in a car wreck, your car spun out, you hit the wall and nearly died. Next time you try to drive you go around a corner and it triggers a memory of the accident, a reaction you can't control, and you close your eyes...you are terrified...you make it through it but then have to pull over and can't drive. Your passenger, scared now because you freaked out and closed your eyes while driving, screams at you. No kind words, no talking you down from the fear...just reprimanded. Of course you were wrong and it obviously can't continue....but you weren't doing it to cause trouble and what you needed was help from your passenger. To be told it's OK and to work through the fear so that you can control it. I imagine something like that for Grizzly since you said he seems to be terrified of all loud sounds and that it started out of the blue when he was older, but not as a kitten..... something scared him and it is now a trigger.

Obviously I can't say that is for sure the answer, it just seems like that to me from reading this whole thing.

@KKoerner  About the collar, I am not sure I can get it in Greece, or online due to capital controls 

 Also, Grizzly can't stand things around his neck. Every collar I put on to him, he would magically get out of it and made sure it would magically disappear too.. We've got 2-3 collars gone MIA. 

 But, I am considering trying out Bach's Rescue Remedies.. If they don't work, fine.. But they won't do any harm. The Behaviourist, just suggested I shouldn't get into all that expense, while I can spend my money on medication that will for sure help Grizzly. 

As for the PTSD reaction, you are right.. I guess we were typing at the same time and you kind of "rationalized" what I wrote about his different reaction to same things..

I get what you say in your example with the car accident.. That's why I always try to talk to him in a sweet way, while I am lowering my body to his height, so I don't look "intimidating" to him, at that certain moment..

What has made me anxious again, is what I wrote in a previous post of mine, several hours ago, that he bit me twice in today: the 1st time without apparent reason and the 2nd time because he heard loud voices.. It totally feels like I am a hostage in my own home.. It's exhausting to try not to drop anything, or to prevent a door from shutting really loud cause of the wind (it's been pretty windy in Athens these last few days). I've started to be afraid he might attack me for the 2nd time.. Not that it would matter to me - I wouldn't get mad.. But the money I've spent the last few days on my mother's incident+medicine+gauzes and stuff+Grizzly's neutering+his bloodwork+extra doctors appointments after we found out my mother's wound got worse... Got dizzy with all the '+'s? You should see me.. I have no money left to take care of ME, if something happens.. 

PLUS I have my mother insisting on putting him down and get 2 other cats that will be more "home-friendly".. As if anyone can foresee the future.. 

 

[siamiam2]

Also Grizzly? It's the "we can't control" part of how we react to our own emotional torture sometimes. Move him to another room when she upsets you so you can vent is an idea. A certain person in my life is causing me mental anguish right now and while I try to k3ep my voice low, A still hears me. She doesn't react but it hurts her deeply. Shouldn't be happening. In your case there seems a long history of issues. Therapy can't be forced on her.accidents happen and Grizzly is shaken. Ultimatum? Either you go or change or I go? If possible? In my case the situation isn't my fault nor can I make him move. Slow? No. Untenable and trapped til G-D knows when but you? Have options. Don't stay in an unhappy situation. Change it if you can somehow.

 

[kkoerner]

Lol about the collar. Cadbury will take his off if it has a bell but gets mad at me if I take off the one he normally wears (no bell).

Yeah we were typing at the same time! I understand what you are a saying about feeling hostage...and the money...
I just don't want you to think you have to make him afraid to "act out" if what he needs is a way to work out this fear he has. It will take behavior reconditioning and I hope the behaviorist is able to help with that.

As for putting him down and getting 2 more...I hope you don't put him down (if it comes to that) just to replace him and your mom thinking the next will be better. They are certainly individuals and may or may not be what your mom considers "home friendly." What then...put them down too and move on to the next 2 cats? Even if it comes to rehoming or putting Grizzly down, please don't let your mother continue with that mindset! :/

How is Grizzly with other cats? Would yor mom be able to get a cat, and you keep Grizzly, and them be friends? I don't know, even if that is possible, if it would be best to wait until Grizzly can work with this behaviorist and maybe calm down or if he would benefit from a friend now... have you discussed another cat friend for him with the behaviorist?