My cat is still having high fear and anxiety. It’s been over a year at this point.

[toulousesmomma]

I posted about this a while back I believe but I will try to briefly explain the situation. I have a 3 year old cat and a 13 year old cat. I got the 3 year old Luna when she was about 2 months old. She got along with my other cat perfectly even after she had to get her eyes removed. Never heard that cat hiss or growl at anything or anyone with the exception being she would growl if she had a really high quality treat and you tried to take it. When I moved last October she began to hiss and growl at the other cats. It was so out of character for her that I rushed her to the emergency vet because I was sure she was in pain and thats why she was growling. They checked her out and cleared her medically. I got labs and blood work and xrays done. All fine. I got my other cat checked too. I then consulted with a behavioralist and tried everything she told me. I then hired a different behavioralist who I actually had a zoom meeting with and she gave me a lot of recommendations for products to try and ways to make the home feel more safe for Luna. Still nothing worked. Her behavior was also inconsistent. She occasionally would groom the other cat and then randomly start hissing im the middle of grooming him almost like she didnt realize she was grooming him? And he would just be sleeping. We have since moved again and she has gotten even worse. I know that I have probably made the situation worse also because I get so frustrated and agitated at the situation. She will now hiss and growl even when the other cat is in a completely different room no where near her. Tonight she was on our bed grooming herself and I lifted her gently to move her because her grooming was keeping me awake. She started growling and hissing and eventually jumped off the bed. She came back after a while and got on my partners chest and settled for a bit but when he shifted his leg she started hissing in our direction before running off the bed again. She came back AGAIN and started to get on top of me but then started hissing and growling. I put my hand on her head to pet her and try to soothe her but it seemingly made it worse. Frustrated I shoved her off the bed because Im trying to get some sleep. She stayed off the bed that time and sat on her cat scratcher by the door. I got up a while later to use the bathroom and she growled and hissed at me when I walked by and started backing up quickly. I grabbed her and tossed her in the spare room because I was so frustrated by this. My other cat is downstairs on the couch on the opposite end of the couch and he doesnt come in my bedroom so I don’t know why she is freaking out! And i dont know how to help her at this point aside from rehoming or getting her on an antidepressant. Im HIGHLY skeptical of putting animals on antidepressants bc i feel like it just sedates them. I want her to be happy and healthy and not live in fear. I dont know how to do that. I keel her separate from the other cat but sometimes they do get near each other. My other cat does not do anything he will just be sittjng or sleeping somewhere or walking past her and she gets extremely reactive and frantically runs around and hides. if i keep her locked in my bedroom all the time then she cries and cries. what do i do. ive been trying to remedy this situation for a year and its only gotten worse over time despite me sparing no expense to fix it. again i know getting frustrated doesnt help and has made it worse but im burnt out.

 

[di and bob]

Cats are EXTREMELY affected by change. They are totally creatures of habit. You have moved twice in a year, if I understand you right. The moves are what is causing her to be so extremely stressed and seeking comfort (the bed incident and maybe overgrooming) A cat with normal vision may not appear stressed but they are with a monumental change in their life such as a move. Your little girl is blind and depends on everything staying exactly where it is to maneuver. When it is all new it is literally frightening her into being defensive. The random hissing and growling are from fright and her not being in control. She is being overloaded. A smaller area may be needed for a while for her to map out and get used to, and a slow introduction to other areas might be needed. I know how frustrating this can be, I do the same thing and then feel terrible afterward. A calming treat may be helpful, I use nowhere near the full dose to calm cats for a vet visit and they work well. You can order them on Amazon and pet sites. Just try to understand what she is going through being blind. I know you are going through a lot, but she is going through the scariest time of her life. Hissing and growling are NOT serious, it means she is very uncomfortable and scared. It is the only way she has to communicate that she is scared, startled, or unsure of what is going on. Females are notorious for hissing often as a warning. She would hiss in the middle of grooming because she suddenly remembers things are different. She may be SO into grooming for comfort that someone touching her startles her immensely, especially where she can't see it coming. she needs lots of reassurance and comfort right now, and in the months to come. Please come here whenever you need someone to talk to, we all understand. No one will condemn you, we just want to help. she WILL calm down, but fornormal cats it can take many months, for a blind one even longer. But things will get better, just get through one day at a time......

 

[toulousesmomma]

Cats are EXTREMELY affected by change. They are totally creatures of habit. You have moved twice in a year, if I understand you right. The moves are what is causing her to be so extremely stressed and seeking comfort (the bed incident and maybe overgrooming) A cat with normal vision may not appear stressed but they are with a monumental change in their life such as a move. Your little girl is blind and depends on everything staying exactly where it is to maneuver. When it is all new it is literally frightening her into being defensive. The random hissing and growling are from fright and her not being in control. She is being overloaded. A smaller area may be needed for a while for her to map out and get used to, and a slow introduction to other areas might be needed. I know how frustrating this can be, I do the same thing and then feel terrible afterward. A calming treat may be helpful, I use nowhere near the full dose to calm cats for a vet visit and they work well. You can order them on Amazon and pet sites. Just try to understand what she is going through being blind. I know you are going through a lot, but she is going through the scariest time of her life. Hissing and growling are NOT serious, it means she is very uncomfortable and scared. It is the only way she has to communicate that she is scared, startled, or unsure of what is going on. Females are notorious for hissing often as a warning. She would hiss in the middle of grooming because she suddenly remembers things are different. She may be SO into grooming for comfort that someone touching her startles her immensely, especially where she can't see it coming. she needs lots of reassurance and comfort right now, and in the months to come. Please come here whenever you need someone to talk to, we all understand. No one will condemn you, we just want to help. she WILL calm down, but fornormal cats it can take many months, for a blind one even longer. But things will get better, just get through one day at a time......

Thank you so much for your understanding and empathy. I know the moves have been a lot for her. I wish I had never moved but I didn’t have a choice. I plan to be in my current home for a while so hopefully she will calm down. What brand of calming treats do you use? I got some calming probiotic powder by purina (it looks similar to forti flora) and it apparently helps calm cats with anxiety and was highly rated so I hope that helps when it gets here. It just feels like she is going to be this way forever and it breaks my heart. We first moved in october of 2020 and then again this past august. i feel like such a bad cat owner for not being able to anticipate problems and prevent stressors. In your opinion do you think giving her treats when she is hissing and growling is a good idea? When food is involved she perks right up. I dont know if u saw my previous post about this situation but she can be around my other cat and bump into him and eat treats right next to him without any hissing or growling.

 

[KittyFriday]

Yes, you can give treats while hissing and growling. When she behaves that way, she's not acting from a place of thought, she's acting from a place of fear. You can't reinforce fear. You can try to make it less prevalent by helping her pair scary experiences with positive things (counter conditioning).

I agree that it would probably be very helpful to give her a much smaller space to be in, and let her get comfortable in that area before expanding it.

 

[di and bob]

Try what you have coming, you never know. If food comforts her, sure, treat her. If she starts gaining weight give her low calorie like shaved deli turkey., or low cal treats. I don't remember what treats I had bought that was a few years ago, If it them under calming treats on Amazon. My cats have Luekemia now so I really have to watch what I give them. They no longer go to the vet for shots.

 

[di and bob]

PS this will NOT be forever, she will calmwhen she feels comfortable. I have had cats take up to a year, she may take longer since she is blind. But it will happen! Bless you for giving her a home..

 

[toulousesmomma]

Yes, you can give treats while hissing and growling. When she behaves that way, she's not acting from a place of thought, she's acting from a place of fear. You can't reinforce fear. You can try to make it less prevalent by helping her pair scary experiences with positive things (counter conditioning).

I agree that it would probably be very helpful to give her a much smaller space to be in, and let her get comfortable in that area before expanding it.

okay i will do that then thank you for your feed back. originally i was keeping her confined to my room but she cries pretty consistently and it isnt her normal i want attention meow its like a distressed sounding cry that she does and she will settle eventually if i ignore her for long enough but if she hears any one in the house she starts crying again. even when i am in the room with her and engaging with her she sometimes will walk away and do a weird meow and when i call her she comes back to me? she wasnt a very chatty cat before we moved either this only started after the first move

 

[toulousesmomma]

Yes, you can give treats while hissing and growling. When she behaves that way, she's not acting from a place of thought, she's acting from a place of fear. You can't reinforce fear. You can try to make it less prevalent by helping her pair scary experiences with positive things (counter conditioning).

I agree that it would probably be very helpful to give her a much smaller space to be in, and let her get comfortable in that area before expanding it.

forgot to put this in my last reply and this might be a stupid question but is ignoring a cats crying going to cause her to be more anxious or cause aggression or anything? i kno that is a thing with human babies so i didnt kno if that was something cats do also

 

[toulousesmomma]

PS this will NOT be forever, she will calmwhen she feels comfortable. I have had cats take up to a year, she may take longer since she is blind. But it will happen! Bless you for giving her a home..

thank you so much. i rly hope she will get better i broke down crying today over this i feel so awful about everything.

 

[sunny578]

okay i will do that then thank you for your feed back. originally i was keeping her confined to my room but she cries pretty consistently and it isnt her normal i want attention meow its like a distressed sounding cry that she does and she will settle eventually if i ignore her for long enough but if she hears any one in the house she starts crying again. even when i am in the room with her and engaging with her she sometimes will walk away and do a weird meow and when i call her she comes back to me? she wasnt a very chatty cat before we moved either this only started after the first move

Wondering if you've tried a baby gate to separate the cats so that Luna can still see out of the bedroom and feel more like a part of things? It sounds like the other cat might respect this boundary. If so, you could use it to extend Luna's territory. I totally get why you are keeping them separate, but it sounds like confining Luna to the bedroom is causing her more stress.

 

[di and bob]

Don't feel awful, you are trying and you are frustrated. Take a deep breathe. Her crying is a way to get your attention. She is very mixed up right now and trying to find a normal. I wouldn't ignore her right now if you have a little time to just talk and stroke her. It will build her confidence. Hold her on your lap while you are watching tv or on the phone. She will adjust, her blindness is holding her back. Don't let yourself get burnt out. Take some time to get away. Get her a comfy bed with a cat heat pad ( she would love that and be in it more) and give her some quiet time too. She needs to learn her new surroundings.

 

[toulousesmomma]

Wondering if you've tried a baby gate to separate the cats so that Luna can still see out of the bedroom and feel more like a part of things? It sounds like the other cat might respect this boundary. If so, you could use it to extend Luna's territory. I totally get why you are keeping them separate, but it sounds like confining Luna to the bedroom is causing her more stress.

luna is blind so she cant see anything. we have tried a baby gate though but she hisses and growls at him still and still cried when she was alone. we have tried not confining her but when she comes anywhere near him or even hears him make any noise she starts growling and skulking around the room rly frantically and looks for a place to hide. the fact that she is blind is what is making this situation so hard to deal. shes fine in the bedroom if im with her but i cant be with her all the time :/ before we ever moved she never cried and she was ALWAYS with my other cat. they were inseparable and luna was never alone because even if i wasnt with her she still had toulouse as a companion. when we moved and i had to separate them thats when she started crying but if i dont separate them she is growling and hissing and toulouse gets stressed about that too

 

[sunny578]

luna is blind so she cant see anything. we have tried a baby gate though but she hisses and growls at him still and still cried when she was alone. we have tried not confining her but when she comes anywhere near him or even hears him make any noise she starts growling and skulking around the room rly frantically and looks for a place to hide. the fact that she is blind is what is making this situation so hard to deal. shes fine in the bedroom if im with her but i cant be with her all the time :/ before we ever moved she never cried and she was ALWAYS with my other cat. they were inseparable and luna was never alone because even if i wasnt with her she still had toulouse as a companion. when we moved and i had to separate them thats when she started crying but if i dont separate them she is growling and hissing and toulouse gets stressed about that too

Oh yes, I'm sorry, "see" was an insensitive word choice Hoping that time will help. It sounds like such a difficult situation.

 

[toulousesmomma]

Oh yes, I'm sorry, "see" was an insensitive word choice Hoping that time will help. It sounds like such a difficult situation.

no worries. sometimes me and my partner will say similar things like ‘luna is looking at you’ before we remember lol

 

[maggie101]

I copied this. Hope it helps!