My Cat Is Making Me Sick With Nausea From Stress!

[JKDOS]

This is a long read, but I'm hoping for some encouragement and advice

Some of you probably remember my introduction for Yukino, if not you can read about it here: Yukino. My Clingy Kitty

I've had my cat for 2 days now (I'm on day 3), and I am feeling really sick from all the stress. This cat is nothing like the many cats I've grown up with. She is extremely clingy and is not happy unless she is by my feet or sleeping on my lap.

Day 1. I can't walk away from her without her crying. I did not let her sleep with me because she acted all hyper in my bedroom trying to get me out of bed or something. So I shut my bedroom and, and over night she chewed my Google Home cable in 4 pieces while it was plugged in and operating. (Google doesn't even sell replacements ) She also chewed nearly halfway through my Nintendo Switch cable, maybe she stopped because it shocked her? I haven't checked, but she may or may not have chewed through my HDMI cables. I can't check the cables in front of her because she will think I'm trying to play... I also only got 3 hours of sleep because she was crying at my door nearly the entire night.


Day 2. She now has the courage to follow me every step I take so that I won't leave her. She is basically hugging my feet. This night I locked her in my laundry room with her water/food and litter box. I did provide her with a bed and scratch post and couple toys. I sleep a little better because I can't hear her, but still struggle to sleep well because I'm stressed with the fact that I sleep for 8-9 hours, and I go to work immediately in the morning where I will work 8-9 hour days. This means my cat is alone for 16-18 hours excluding 15 minutes I see her in the morning, and I work 5 days a week... Well I wake up, and this time I find she has pulled out the tray of her "Breeze Step" cat litter box... Arrg. I put it back and discover under the tray is a pile of poop on the litter mat.... Seriously!? I had to throw that away. .. I will also likely throw out the litter box and use a basic box and different litter. ... Now I'm more stressed because she may have to be locked in the laundry room these 16-18 hours a day. I can't risk her pooping all around my apartment just to get back at me. Because That's what I feel like she is doing wither her overnight behavior. I assume she will cry at my bedroom door thinking I am in there while I am at work.


I am so stressed right now my stomach is turning and I can barely concentrate on anything. I also can barely eat. One of the things I loved about living alone is that I had a stressless and worriless life when I wasn't at work. Now I feel like I'm living with a 2 year old or worse.


Growing up, my cats I had as a kid would spend a lot of time sleeping or minding their own business. This cat is not happy if she isn't by my side, and goes berserk if I leave her alone. Today is the first day I leave her to go to work. So I am unsure how things are going for her right now.

I love that she loves me so much, but it's not practical to have a cat that holds me hostage both physically and mentally. I pretty much dismantled and removed all cables from the living room TV, but with what she pulled last night, I am scared to let her roam my place while I am at work. So she is now locked in my laundry room again, which I am sure is no fun since it's small and is shared with her litter box. She is approximately 13 months of age. So I feel like she will be like this for another few years.


I have to take her to the vet today for a checkup (The Human Society said to take her within the first 3 business days). I'm hoping the vet will have some kind of advice. I'm torn right now because part of me wants to call it quits and get rid of her, but then there is the part of me that adores how much she loves me and I can't bare to part with such a loving companion. I'm seriously in tears everytime I think about it. I was thinking of maybe asking my parents, or my sister to raise her for me, but I feel like she will cause them greif with her destructive behavior.


The reason I picked her from the pound was because of how much she really liked me. I'm not sure why I didn't foresee that being a problem if I took her home.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi - You didn't foresee a clingy cat. However, you did know that you'd be gone all the time and would see the cat for 15 minutes in the morning.

Personally, I REALLY don't think this is a win-win fit for either of you. Anything that's suggested/advised regarding lots of play time, working with her regarding changing litter and the box (you really should have two boxes), more play time, more time, more of everything regarding interaction....won't be happening except for some brief times now and then.

If you decide to keep her, which I firmly believe is an extremely rotten idea and totally unfair to this cat, make absolutely sure you specifically tell the vet to look in her mouth for burn marks.

My suggestion is to take her back right now, before any more time has passed. Tell the Society to look for burn marks in her mouth if you don't get to the vet, and then tell them they need to be much more aware of the fact that THIS cat needs a household where someone will be home. Then tell them to provide you with a cat that doesn't care about anything more than shelter, food, water, a couple litterboxes, a few toys, a scratcher or two and a couple cat trees.

 

[JKDOS]

Hi - You didn't foresee a clingy cat. However, you did know that you'd be gone all the time and would see the cat for 15 minutes in the morning.

Personally, I REALLY don't think this is a win-win fit for either of you. Anything that's suggested/advised regarding lots of play time, working with her regarding changing litter and the box (you really should have two boxes), more play time, more time, more of everything regarding interaction....won't be happening except for some brief times now and then.

If you decide to keep her, which I firmly believe is an extremely rotten idea and totally unfair to this cat, make absolutely sure you specifically tell the vet to look in her mouth for burn marks.

My suggestion is to take her back right now, before any more time has passed. Tell the Society to look for burn marks in her mouth if you don't get to the vet, and then tell them they need to be much more aware of the fact that THIS cat needs a household where someone will be home. Then tell them to provide you with a cat that doesn't care about anything more than shelter, food, water, a couple litterboxes, a few toys, a scratcher or two and a couple cat trees.

I do have 2 litter boxes. Thank for your your suggestions. While I only have about 15 minutes in the morning, I do have a few hours in the evening to spend with the cat. I will continue to think through my options and make necessary adjustments. I've had about 7 different cats growing up, 2 of which still living with my parents. None of them have ever been clingy or disruptive. As I said before they usually spent most of their time minding their own business. So I don't think I ever would have guessed a cat could be this way.

I think she has the potential for being amazing cat, she just needs to mature a bit more. If I have to take her back, I will be sure to assess whether or not I can get my sister to foster her, or even my parents before doing so.

 

[Furballsmom]

ok, so with all that said, these articles are great reads, not long but concise and full of impactful information;
7 Proven Ways To Get Your Cat To Be More Active
Solving Cat Behavior Problems: The Key Ingredient
How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night?
How To Stop Problem Chewing In Cats
How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat
Playing With Your Cat: 10 Things You Need To Know
How To Solve Litterbox Problems In Cats: The Ultimate Guide
Separation Anxiety In Cats
Is Your Cat Stressed Out?
Your Second Cat: How To Choose The Best Friend For Kitty
And, one more thing - I've read in other thread discussions that vitamin B is a good thing to take to help with YOUR stress.
Hang in there, let us know how things go!

 

[Etarre]

Your cat sounds really bored. Does she have toys designed for independent play, like a ball/track kind of toy, or little mice that she can bat around? My kitten is fully of energy and her playtimes aren't always synced well with our sleep/work schedule (although we do our best to play with her when we're home) but she's adapted to playing with toys, and we haven't (yet) had any issues with her playing with wires or getting into potentially dangerous stuff. It also keeps her busy when she's energetic at night, as most kittens are.

Her pulling out the litter tray may just be curiosity and trying to find something fun to play with, not a calculated act of vengeance! I think it's pretty unlikely that she understood the consequences of pulling out that drawer.

I hear that you're really frustrated with her and I can understand your frustration, but not all cats are alike, and it's not this cat's fault that your previous cats were low-maintenance. You take a chance when you adopt, and you have to meet the cat on her own terms and appreciate her independent personality. Also, please remember that it's only been a couple of days and she's probably dealing with a high level of anxiety-- you're not yet getting an accurate sense of her personality or how things will be for the two of you. Most articles on getting a new cat suggest keeping them in a small confined and cat-proofed space for up to a week, so it's very common for cats to take awhile to feel comfortable in their new space and calm down a bit. It took my current cat about two months to really feel safe in our apartment and she's still in the process of trying to feel like it's her home, too.

I absolutely second Furballsmom that if you really think she was shocked by an electrical wire or if she shows any symptoms, you need to get her some medical attention. Even the very best behaved cats find wires almost irresistible as playthings. I went through several pairs of headphones before learning to keep them far out of reach of my first cat. Can you use double-sided tape, bitter flavored drops, or set up some sort of barrier to keep her away from them? Cat-proofing is clearly going to be important with such a curious cat.

Good luck!

 

[weebeasties]

The relationship you have with this kitten sounds like it is not a happy one. She is stressing you out and you are unable to give this kitten the attention/time that she craves.
If you return her to the shelter now, while she is still a kitten, she has a MUCH better chance of finding a home that is more suited to her needs. Maybe you would consider an older cat to adopt? One that the shelter knows is a laid back kind of cat. It would be less stress for you and you would be rescuing an older cat that may be overlooked by most adopters.
I know you care about this kitten, but it seems there is a personality clash. I think keeping her will ultimately make both of you unhappy.
Don't think of it as "giving up on her", think of it as giving her the chance at finding a better suited environment.
Oh, and PLEASE mention about the electrical cords. That can cause major injuries for her.

 

[JKDOS]

Hi, Etarre. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I agree she is probably just experiences anxiety over being in a new unfamiliar place. She does seem to be getting a little bit better as time moves on.

I went home and visited her for about 45 minutes today on my lunch break. She was actually sleeping when I opened the door to her. So I'm happy to see she was relaxed. She also used her litter box correctly without any mishaps (I went ahead and scooped it at the same time as observing it).

I do have toys for her to use independently. She really loves plastic golf balls and ping pong balls. I also found a mouse toy at Walmart at Squeaks when it's moved. I spent my lunch break just playing with her and petting/brushing her. She seems really happy and really enjoys being pampered.

I'm going to look into finding some more toys when I get time to research as well as make her a hideout. When leaving to head back to the office, I did not lock her up in the laundry room. I left her free to room the house (except my bedroom. She doesnt need to be in there yet).

I actually didn't have trouble stepping out the door as I thought I would. She sat and watched me leave. I am sure she will be waiting for my return. She will likely get use to me coming and going to work.

I was thinking, and I may actually take time in the evening to teach her to sleep on my bed with me. I think she just needs to realize that is what my bed is for.

 

[JKDOS]

Don't think of it as "giving up on her", think of it as giving her the chance at finding a better suited environment.

I will give it a little more days to see how she adjust. I know seeing her this afternoon has lifted my spirit a bit.


In case anyone has wondered, I have not yelled at or corrected the her at all. I have always talked to and handled her very gently. I will definitely mention the wire chewing to the vet.

 

[Etarre]

I'm glad that she seems to be calming down and settling in a bit, and that you were able to visit and spend some time with her and then leave without too much trouble. I hope this is a good sign for things to come!

My kitten also seemed not to understand the bed or the concept of sleep time at first. She was perfectly happy to hang out in the living room and play by herself, which was great, but she only started to hop into bed and snuggle with us after a month and a half, and even then she had to work up to it by stealing quick snuggles and then running away at first. It wasn't terrible restful for us, but it did help us get to a point where she now is able to hop up and nap for a few hours at a time with us, which is really nice. So yes, having never really been exposed to human sleeptime or beds, it required some introduction.

 

[1 bruce 1]

All cats are different of course, but she (to me) sounds like a young cat, alone in a house all day (as are many, as well as my own some days, and they get along just fine!) and only after 3 full days of being in a new home she's an energetic youngster and probably a little anxious, wondering what's going on, where she's at, and settling in. The fact she's not hiding is great!
In most cases I give it 2 weeks to get past that breaking-in period with outgoing and confident ones, by then they usually have settled into their routine and "chill out" a bit =)
As crazy as it sounds (and I don't necessarily suggest doing this, *especially* now while you're both still adjusting) but as social as cats are, if you do decide to keep her, a play mate might not be something to completely write off in the future.

 

[lre17]

this is a great toy for her to play with by herself

eats batteries like whoa but my cats love it!

 

[foxden]

Some cats do better with a stuffed animal companion. You want a critter that is larger than she is, and one without plastic eyes or other parts that can be chewed off. You might find good stuffed animals in the infant department at most stores.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ Have you tried a calming collar ? They seem to help . ( they smell wonderful ) Also kitty chews with theanine can calm cats . Some have cats on Prozac .
Maybe for a short while one if these things can help kitty adjust . Personally we have always had several cats . They do keep each other company .
Make sure YOU get enough sleep ... Stress is bad for both of you .
* GOOD VIBES TO YOU ~~

 

[JKDOS]

~ Have you tried a calming collar ? They seem to help . ( they smell wonderful ) Also kitty chews with theanine can calm cats . Some have cats on Prozac .
Maybe for a short while one if these things can help kitty adjust . Personally we have always had several cats . They do keep each other company .
Make sure YOU get enough sleep ... Stress is bad for both of you .
* GOOD VIBES TO YOU ~~

I was looking at calming collars on Amazon, and the first one I looked at had reviews talking about how it was not safe or that it almost killed their cat.

I will try some calming chewables. Possible these:

 

[JamesCalifornia]

I was looking at calming collars on Amazon, and the first one I looked at had reviews talking about how it was not safe or that it almost killed their cat.

~ Oh ? Wow ... Well I just used another on a second cat . Both cats are alive and well . `
I hope the chews work . You need to sleep and get the stress under control . Here is something else :
~NaturVet Quiet Moments Calming Aid Plus Melatonin Cat Soft Chews
Sometimes I have to cuddle and fawn over one of the cats because they are restless /nervous . I think they want reassurance and attention. Sometimes I do too !
Let us know what happens ...

 

[artiemom]

I am going to jump in here...

First thing: how old is your cat? This makes a huge difference.
Your cat is displaying normal cat behavior. Sounds like a young cat/kitten. She is lonely. She wants to play. She wants love and attention.

Being away from home for so long, and not being able to devout much time to this baby, is really an issue. Kittens and most cats, need attention.
You really need to find some time to play with her.. and play hard..

This sounds as if it is really the issue. You sound so busy, wondering if perhaps you may need an older kitty... one who is pretty much calmed down..

Do you have toys for your cat to play with, while you are gone? Is there a window where she can look out, for entertainment?

Think of things this way: If you were a working parent, with a young child. When you come home, that child will be all over you-- looking for attention and love.. Well, your cat is doing the same thing.
She is seeking out love, and wanting to play with the person she loves.. which is you.

I do not think your cat needs a calming collar. I think she sounds like a normal young kitty..
just out of kitten hood, or still a kitten. I also do not feel she needs calming treats.. she is exhibiting normal young cat behavior.. or even just normal cat behavior..

Trying to keep a cat out of your bedroom is a very difficult thing. It involves many sleepless nights, while you are training them. They automatically want to be with you ~~ especially if you are out of the house for such long hours.

You say you want the love and companionship of a cat. Perhaps an adult cat will be able to be a better match. You seem to want a much more mellow cat...

This is something you have to decide. If you decide that this cat's personality is not a good match for you, then I would suggest you return her to the Humane Society, before she gets too attached to you.. she would be heartbroken.

You can then, discuss things with the Humane Society about what cat would be a better match for you and your life style.

Sounds as if the cats you had, before, were older....and more mellow...

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is my own opinion.. just wanting you and your kitty to have a happy life ....

 

[epona]

Kittens are kittens. I spent the first week we had Radar in tears because he was completely bonkers, that is what kittens are like, he's now my best buddy and the thought of losing him is horrendous.

 

[JKDOS]

I am going to jump in here...

First thing: how old is your cat? This makes a huge difference.


Do you have toys for your cat to play with, while you are gone? Is there a window where she can look out, for entertainment?


I do not think your cat needs a calming collar. I think she sounds like a normal young kitty..
just out of kitten hood, or still a kitten. I also do not feel she needs calming treats.. she is exhibiting normal young cat behavior.. or even just normal cat behavior..


This is something you have to decide. If you decide that this cat's personality is not a good match for you, then I would suggest you return her to the Humane Society, before she gets too attached to you.. she would be heartbroken.


Sounds as if the cats you had, before, were older....and more mellow...

.

She is 13 months old, aprox.

I do believe she needs something to calm her. I have cleaned piles of poop off the floor 3 mornings in a row now. So she shows signs of extreme anxiety over night. She has no trouble when I leave her to go to work, it's only during the night she has problems.

I do have plenty of toys for her.

The cats I had when I was growing up were not older. All of them I was given from a friend/family member when they were still very young, and 1 was a stray (less than a year old) that we rescued from being mauled by our dog in the yard. The difference with them growing up is they had more people/pets around the house.

 

[maggiedemi]

Hi. Can you try a regular litterbox? Some cats don't like automatic litterboxes. That might be why she is having so many accidents on the floor.

 

[JKDOS]

Hi. Can you try a regular litterbox? Some cats don't like automatic litterboxes. That might be why she is having so many accidents on the floor.

I am using regular litter boxes. I had 1 regular and 1 Tidy Cats BREEZE box, but I threw out the Breeze box yesterday morning and replaced it with a second regular box. As I said before though, she only does this at night, all throughout the day and evening she has no trouble.