My poor feral, Merlin, has gone. He was PTS at midday today. It was horrible, because he fought all the way to the vet, turning his carrier over twice in the car, and at the vet he could not be got out of the carrier. The assistant had to help. I feel guilt and relief in equal quantities. None of it was his fault, I feel I failed him in several ways, and we were forced into a place none of us wanted to be in. And although the house and grounds are now safe for my cats and for children, I do wish I could have done more. RIP little one - I know your kittens are up in my barn and I will do all I can to ensure they at least have happy lives.