I am in black despair right now, and I know it is illogical, but I can't help the feeling that Fate, Destiny, call it what you will, is punishing me for not trying harder with Merlin, by taking my beloved Napoleon. I even had a presentiment of that the week before Napoleon died, and told myself not to be silly.
Oh Jenny, I do wish there was something I could say to help you - it truly isnt your fault either of them died, and they wouldn't have had such a good life, with a loving and caring owner if you had'nt stepped in when you did.
Please try to understand that with Merlin, you took on an impossible task.
You did everything humanly possible to help him.
Remaining in this life was not his destiny.