I think I've posted here a few times in the past about Marlon. We've had him for close to three years and estimate that he's between 3.5 and 4. He's neutered.
We're nearly at the end of our ropes with Marlon. On the one hand, when he's in a mellow mood he is incredibly sweet. He likes to be near us, he enjoys being held, he'll give kisses, etc. You can put him on your lap and he'll just melt into you, with this incredible quiet purr. You need to be very aware of his body language, but once you are he's a sweetheart.
Unfortunately, he also has his Mr. Hyde side. He is constantly harassing our other cat, Audrey, who's a few months older. We're not sure if it's a dominance thing, or just overly-aggressive play. He chases her, jumps on her, bites and claws, though he doesn't draw blood. Audrey responds by growling, hissing, and trying to avoid him. Marlon doesn't take the hint. He keeps after her. We're not big believers in negative reinforcement, so we've tried ignoring the behavior (he seems to do it for attention) and putting him in "time outs" in the other room. Neither works.
We feel really guilty that Audrey gets harassed so often. For a while we thought that maybe she was fond of Marlon, but the two times he's spent the night at the vet she's so upset when he comes back that she refuses to eat (unheard of for her). Even when he's being mellow she won't sit near him or let him groom her.
We're also worried about how Marlon will be with children. He literally tried to attack my cousin's baby when they visited. We had to buy my cousin's husband new pants because his were shredded, and we were lucky that he wasn't injured. Since then we've been trying to desensitize Marlon by playing videos of crying babies and rewarding calm behavior, but there's been no change.
My mother has offered to adopt Marlon when we have kids, but unfortunately he also terrorizes her dog, who is very quiet and cat-polite. We've taken care of him for several weeks in the past, and Marlon will go out of his way to chase and swat at the dog.
We have had success correcting some of Marlon's bad behaviors. We've trained him (without negative reinforcement) not to bite, which he was bad about when we first got him. He'll let us trim his nails or put soft paws on him with a bit of patience, which would have been impossible before.
Unfortunately, the really problematic behaviors aren't getting better. I think he could be a good only cat, but I've worked with cat rescues in the past and I know that the chances of finding him a good home are virtually nil with the problem behaviors that I've described here. I also believe that when you adopt an animal you are responsible for them for life. Marlon isn't a "bad" cat. He's good with adults who respect his space, and most of his nasty behaviors seem to be born of insecurity and fear (I suspect he was abused before we got him). Unfortunately, a lot of his behaviors are intolerable and not improving and we're just really out of ideas.
We're ordering Feliway right now, but I have to say that I don't have much faith. I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Commiseration? Advice? Your own stories of difficult cats? I think largely I needed to vent. I just got woken up for the forth or fifth morning in a row by Audrey screeching as Marlon chased her around and jumped on her and I think I'm sleep deprived on top of everything else.
We're nearly at the end of our ropes with Marlon. On the one hand, when he's in a mellow mood he is incredibly sweet. He likes to be near us, he enjoys being held, he'll give kisses, etc. You can put him on your lap and he'll just melt into you, with this incredible quiet purr. You need to be very aware of his body language, but once you are he's a sweetheart.
Unfortunately, he also has his Mr. Hyde side. He is constantly harassing our other cat, Audrey, who's a few months older. We're not sure if it's a dominance thing, or just overly-aggressive play. He chases her, jumps on her, bites and claws, though he doesn't draw blood. Audrey responds by growling, hissing, and trying to avoid him. Marlon doesn't take the hint. He keeps after her. We're not big believers in negative reinforcement, so we've tried ignoring the behavior (he seems to do it for attention) and putting him in "time outs" in the other room. Neither works.
We feel really guilty that Audrey gets harassed so often. For a while we thought that maybe she was fond of Marlon, but the two times he's spent the night at the vet she's so upset when he comes back that she refuses to eat (unheard of for her). Even when he's being mellow she won't sit near him or let him groom her.
We're also worried about how Marlon will be with children. He literally tried to attack my cousin's baby when they visited. We had to buy my cousin's husband new pants because his were shredded, and we were lucky that he wasn't injured. Since then we've been trying to desensitize Marlon by playing videos of crying babies and rewarding calm behavior, but there's been no change.
My mother has offered to adopt Marlon when we have kids, but unfortunately he also terrorizes her dog, who is very quiet and cat-polite. We've taken care of him for several weeks in the past, and Marlon will go out of his way to chase and swat at the dog.
We have had success correcting some of Marlon's bad behaviors. We've trained him (without negative reinforcement) not to bite, which he was bad about when we first got him. He'll let us trim his nails or put soft paws on him with a bit of patience, which would have been impossible before.
Unfortunately, the really problematic behaviors aren't getting better. I think he could be a good only cat, but I've worked with cat rescues in the past and I know that the chances of finding him a good home are virtually nil with the problem behaviors that I've described here. I also believe that when you adopt an animal you are responsible for them for life. Marlon isn't a "bad" cat. He's good with adults who respect his space, and most of his nasty behaviors seem to be born of insecurity and fear (I suspect he was abused before we got him). Unfortunately, a lot of his behaviors are intolerable and not improving and we're just really out of ideas.
We're ordering Feliway right now, but I have to say that I don't have much faith. I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. Commiseration? Advice? Your own stories of difficult cats? I think largely I needed to vent. I just got woken up for the forth or fifth morning in a row by Audrey screeching as Marlon chased her around and jumped on her and I think I'm sleep deprived on top of everything else.