Kitten runs from live in boyfriend

[kaphlin]

When i brought Soraya home, I closed her off in the laundry room with piles of dirty laundry from myself and my boyfriend so she could get used to our smells (and so she would be away from our other cats). When she stopped hiding from me as much, we moved her into the bedroom so she could sleep with us. I was worried about her bonding too much with my boyfriend, since he gets home at times she likes to nap and snuggle more then i do. Silly, i know, but his cat Hadrian, bonded -very- closely with him, and i wanted that for myself.

Now, Soraya snuggles with me like crazy, but only when my boyfriend is not around. She runs away from him, and he decided that she hates him. When she sees him, she jumps off my lap and will run to hide. she turns her head away from him when he pets her, and squirms like crazy to get away if he's holding her.

She came from a home that only seemed to have woman and children roaming around it, but from what i have heard, the other kittens there are better adjusted to males then she is.

...of course, the fact that my boyfriend yells "KITTEN!' when he sees her and proceeds to chase her does not help, she actually seems to treat it like a game. she also will sometimes watch him from across the room like 'what? no attention for me?'

any suggestions on how to get her to be more open to him?

 

[Draco]

...of course, the fact that my boyfriend yells "KITTEN!' when he sees her and proceeds to chase her does not help, she actually seems to treat it like a game. she also will sometimes watch him from across the room like 'what? no attention for me?'

I am thinking that's the problem right there. A male's voice can be very scary, especially when it's loud. It's often not very soft or soothing to a kitten who's adjusting still.

I suggest your BF to tread slowly and quietly.. try not to approach her and keep his voice down and even. It'll take time, but it's best he lets the kitten go to him, and not vice versa.

 

[lamiatron]

I am thinking that's the problem right there. A male's voice can be very scary, especially when it's loud. It's often not very soft or soothing to a kitten who's adjusting still.

I suggest your BF to tread slowly and quietly.. try not to approach her and keep his voice down and even. It'll take time, but it's best he lets the kitten go to him, and not vice versa.

great advice given here by @Draco

and i can confirm from experience...

One of my kitties is super skittish, and she is super afraid of men (deep voice, tall and big) 

i have a thing for the luberjack types, so my boyfriend kinda fits the bill for the most scariest thing on earth for my girl jet.

i asked him to talk in a soothing voice, or even whisper if he can't sound soothing (he's really bad at sounding soothing...or calming), and to let Jet approach him. it takes time, and patience, but it does work,

another thing to consider, ask the bf to have a positive attitude towards Soraya. If he's feeling super excited to see her, but then sad or angry when she rejects him (which again, its no one's fault), Soraya can pick up on that, and will want to avoid your bf even more. Just tell him to be calm, and relaxed. Cats love to be around calm relaxed people. She will come around. And tell your bf to ignore her. sometimes cats feel stressed when they feel like there is too much attention on them. 

other things you can do, have your bf be the one to feed her. have him play with her with her favorite toy. at first the interaction might not be much, but whatever interaction there is, reward soraya with a treat afterwards (make sure the bf is giving the treat).

in time she will feel more comfortable around him. but understand it might not be 100% or similar to how your kitty acts towards you. cats are more drawn to women anyways, because of our soft, high pitched/toned voices, similar to their own. 

good luck!

 

[kaphlin]

Thanks for the advice, both of you. It's been super helpful.she's still skittish around him, but she lets him pet her and won't run to hide from him unless he looks like he's going to pick her up.