It's Cancer

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

They won't know if it's spread until they do a hysterectomy, pelvic washings, lymph node sampling and another biopsy. If there has been no spread, surgery is all I'll need. If it's spread, then the options are chemotherapy and radiation.

I forgot to mention that the doctor said that for endometrial cancer, they don't typically do chemotherapy.

If it was contained inside the uterus IE: the lining, then all that is needed is the surgery. If the cancer has spread into the uterine wall, then there will be internal radiation. 3 high dose treatments called "Vag Vault" meaning they insert a cylinder and shoot high doses of radiation inside me. Because it is internal, there would be no horrid skin breakdown like I've seen on some women who have been getting the beams externally for vulva cancer. So that made me feel a little better about possible further treatment.

I told my brother. He took it better than I thought he would. After he finished yelling at me to make sure I was having something done about it, he gave me a pep talk....and he cried, which of course set me off crying.

My leave from work has been approved. I'm off from July 6 to August 23. Hopefully that is all the time I'll need to be off.

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I forgot to mention that the doctor said that for endometrial cancer, they don't typically do chemotherapy.

If it was contained inside the uterus IE: the lining, then all that is needed is the surgery. If the cancer has spread into the uterine wall, then there will be internal radiation. 3 high dose treatments called "Vag Vault" meaning they insert a cylinder and shoot high doses of radiation inside me. Because it is internal, there would be no horrid skin breakdown like I've seen on some women who have been getting the beams externally for vulva cancer. So that made me feel a little better about possible further treatment.

I told my brother. He took it better than I thought he would. After he finished yelling at me to make sure I was having something done about it, he gave me a pep talk....and he cried, which of course set me off crying.

My leave from work has been approved. I'm off from July 6 to August 23. Hopefully that is all the time I'll need to be off.

Thanks for keeping us updated on you. Sounds like you are coping well, staying up beat. Stick with us and keep us posted, we all care very much.

 

[darlili]

that everything goes as well as possible, and that you heal quickly.

 

[ldg]

I'm glad you told your brother and he's both OK after the initial shock and being so sweet.

Continued !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[katkisses]

Sending more vibes hon!

You are an amazing person, don't let this get you down.

 

[pami]

Im so glad that you have that positive family support around you. Sending many vibes that way, this cannot be easy.

 

[rosiemac]

Linda i'm so sorry

Hang in there girl, but lots of healthy coming your way

 

[natalie_ca]

Today at work I had a major anxiety attack!!

About 2pm I was sitting at my desk and I started to get restless and had a hard time sitting still. Next thing I know I had this feeling that I needed to get out of there and I nearly bolted from the room. I got up and walked around a bit and found myself in the staff washroom in the locker room, and then I burst into tears!

I guess it's just hitting me now.

What keeps going through my mind is what if they can't do the surgery!? The doctor said that sometimes with heavy people, it's not possible and when they get in they find that what they are seeking to remove is too deeply embedded and that digging around can do more harm than good, and if that is the case, they just abandon the surgery and close the person up again.

I've been crash dieting since last week. Eating about 1 meal a day and sometimes having a slim fast shake for a second meal if I'm hungry.

I'm just so freaked out about this whole thing and I'm having a really, really hard time holding myself together so that I can function at my job.

I'm so depressed. Most nights I've been going to bed at 6pm or earlier, and I spent much of the weekend sleeping just so I don't have to think about anything.

 

[catmom2wires]

Linda,

I KNOW you are panicking, and you have the right to be upset and concerned! I'm glad you had a good cry! Have a few more---get it all out!

However....the crash diet is not the thing to be doing right now, honey. You need to keep your body strong so it can fight the cancer and be ready for the surgery and recovery. And the excessive sleep will slow your metabolism and can cause you to gain even more!

There was an article in our local rural paper yesterday about a local woman recently diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I know I don't have to tell you how serious her situation is. She decided to forego chemo as there just isn't too much that is effective. Instead, she has embarked on a mission to make her body as healthy as it can be by eating a totally clean diet, exercising to tolerance and going in to run her little business. She's doing well (more good days than bad) 3 months since her diagnosis.

The article implied that it isn't really the FOOD itself that is helping her, but the fact that she's chosen to do something positive for herself. She is married and her husband now cleans her juicer after she prepares her fresh juices, etc. That makes him feel useful, which makes him a more positive person. Together, they are getting control of her mind and attitude, so she can fight the cancer, and not be so panicked and paralyzed with fear.

Does any of this speak to you? If so, I know there is a BUNCH of folks on here who will be ready to be cancer warriors with you---supporting you and helping to keep you positive (when and if you want!)

I hope I haven't said anything upsetting. I was just so struck by this woman's attitude and it made a lot of sense to me.

Take care!

Cally

 

[mbjerkness]

I know it is really scary, you need to eat healthy right now. Crash dieting may make you lose weight , but right now you need strength.

 

[ldg]

Sweetie, Cally is SO right. If the crash dieting helps you feel better, then reduce your calories, definitely. But eat HEALTHY. Make your big meal breakfast - but don't eat "breakfast." Eat veggies and whole grains, or use whole grain breads. Drink loads of green tea. If you're not already taking a vitamin supplement, get one. And add an antioxidant supplement to it. Go to a health food store - talk to them, and get their advice.

And go for walks as often as possible! Help build your immune system and your strength - and these steps will probably also help you avoid future panic attacks.

 

[rosiemac]

Everyones right Linda, you still have to eat regardless.

It's a proven fact that if you starve your body of food then your metabolism slows right down and you won't lose any weight

 

[alleygirl]

Just wanted to add my vibes and hugs to you.

 

[consumerkitty]

More vibes and prayers for you.

 

[natalie_ca]

Thanks everyone! *hugs*

Please don't worry that I'm not eating. I am. Just 1 meal a day, no snacks, and light on the carbs. Plus if I feel hungry after having just the 1 meal, I do make myself a slim fast shake, my version, which is filling and healthy:

1 1/2 cups lactaid skim milk
3/4 frozen berries or 1 banana
2 heaping teaspoons instant decaf coffee
3 tablespoons splenda
2 heaping teaspoons orange flavoured metamucil powder
1/2 to 1 tray of ice cubes

Blend until smooth in a blender. Makes 2 to 3 cups. Much more filling and nutritious than pouring milk into some powder and shaking it up.

Today I had a sandwich wrap. Tonight I'm having some left over pork roast and a salad.

I've been waiting years for the motivation to lose weight. A death sentence if they can't do the surgery due to my weight, is more motivation than I could possibly ever need. Even if I can lose 30 pounds by then, it will help. And since I'm heavy, the weight comes off much faster than it would if I had less weight to lose.

I'm going to ask my brother if I can have his treadmill here for a couple months. It's hard for me to walk outside because my back gets really sore and fatigued. But on a treadmill I can hold on and lean over and still continue to walk while hanging onto the bars. It's not unrealistic to expect at least 30 pounds, because prior to my having gotten sick and going on disability in 2004, through Jenny Craig's diet plan and walking, I had lost 25 pounds in a month. So I know I can do at least 30 pounds.

I'm only 48 years old. And while my life isn't fancy and exciting, it's my life and I'm not done living it yet. They have to be able to complete the surgery! They just have to!!!

The surgery itself isn't bothering me. The idea of having to have vag vault radiation isn't bothering me. Having my female organs removed isn't bothering me. Nor is having a surgical scar. I'm not even worried about being off work 6 weeks without income.

What is worrying me is that they may not be able to complete the surgery

 

[-_aj_-]

Just wanted to add my continued and

 

[mbjerkness]

I just want you to be as healthy as possible for surgery and recovery.

 

[AbbysMom]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

What is worrying me is that they may not be able to complete the surgery

OK, so what is the worst that can happen? They close you up and do nothing. Can't you wait a month or so, lose more weight and then do it again or is that just unrealistic? I realize having to go through it again is not a good thing, and waiting isn't the best, but it also wouldn't necessarily be a death sentence, right? You are in Stage 1 and has been caught early. Your chances are good even if it takes longer to complete the surgery, right?

As everyone has said, it's great that you want to lose weight, but please do it safely. You don't want to be weak or have a compromised immune system when having the surgery.

I always say I am not the best person to give pep talks because I would be freaking out myself and I did freak out when I had a biopsy in January. Hypocritical of me to tell people to be calm, right?

What I did do was think of some of the worst-case scenarios and have plans in place. I did my research. Is there any way you can look into what the options are for followup treatment and surgery if they can not do they procedure on July 6th? At least in your mind you will know and can have a backup plan. It would make the possibility a little less scary, no?

Hang in there.

 

[bella713]

Linda, you are in my thoughts and prayers

 

[darkmavis]

Just checking in the say I'm still thinking about you along with the rest of the cat people.

I agree, doing research and knowing about a possible backup plan just in case the surgry can't happen in July is a good idea to help calm your fears a bit. Have they told you what weight you need to be? That could help with your goal of losing also.

Hang in there and be well!!