Is this a common male thing?

[momto3boys]

Craig and I are both awful with money....

But we both contribute. He pays the mortgage, insurance and loan payment, it comes out of his bank account automatically.

I pay hydro, phone and cable. We each pay our own creditcards.

He does the majority of groceries, just for the simple reason he is the grocery manager at our local grocery store so he just pretty much brings stuff home everyday. I buy most of the junk food

IF he had to pay bills that didn't come out of his account automatically then they wouldn't get paid. I pay the bills as they come in and then pretty much blow the rest, if I have $50 in my pocket, I HAVE to spend, I seriously can't stop thinking of things to buy if I know it's there...it's awful.

 

[nerdrock]

Well, Mike and I have had a very long talk and it seems positive.

He stepped up yesterday and did the dishes and cleaned a bit today. We have a bit more cleaning to do in the next few hours before people start coming over. He's put out a few resumes, but since we leave in a week I don't know what good it will do - lots of places around here want you to start immediately, so if he interviewed somewhere this week, they'd want him to start next and we won't be in town. He's going to keep sending out a few resumes when we're away in the hopes that he'll get a few interviews for the week that we get back. He's applying to absolutely everything.

On a good note, on Friday he went out to poster for a local bar/grillhouse that he had applied at a few weeks ago. They had really liked him but ended up hiring someone else. He offered to poster for them because a lot of their shows aren't advertised well so they don't get great turnouts - they said they'd pay him in beer, lol, and pay the expenses (printing posters, staples, condensed milk, paintbrushes). So far everything is going really well with that - they were really impressed that he put up over 100 posters in less than an hour. One of the bartenders was complaining about the cook that they had hired, so who knows... by the time we get back maybe he'll get a job there, lol. He's also doing the sound there for a show in August.

I had also posted an ad on Kijiji for a couple looking for a pet friendly rental duplex/townhouse/house because we absolutely MUST move soon. I got an email about a small house right downtown for rent for $250 more than what we pay now for our dinky little apartment. We're going to go look at it sometime this week (hopefully). The guy that owns it knows that we won't be giving him a for sure answer until we get back from visiting Mike's family and is fine with that - the place is ready around when the students are coming back and he DOES NOT want students to live there

I also asked him approximately how much the utilities are per month, so that will let me do up a little budget and see if we really can afford it or not. So when we get back Mike will have a week and a half to get a job, if he gets one then we'll be moving in September. Keep your fingers crossed and send out vibes that Mike gets a job (even a minimum wage fulltime one would be fine!) and that we get this place.

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Ducman69

Just know that you are very very special. African-American artists write songs about you. Independent womaaan!

But seriously though, the average girl I know expects the guy to pay everything going out, and if she were asked to pay the bill would be outraged... but us guys get that even when we're asked out by a girl, and we don't get mad when you don't open the door for us.

Women now work the same jobs, wear jeans, and have all the same rights, but are less demanding of equality when they are the first to get off a sinking ship or burning building, have drinks bought for em, have doors opened and chairs pulled out for them, can hit a man but not be hit back, given court preference in child custody cases, or pick up the tab when the waiter swings by after a meal. Y'all know its true!

If you honestly believe that women are being treated equally to men, and particularly being paid the same money for the same job as a man, you are certainly not living in 2011. I've worked in HR and watched them re-write the job description to lower the level of the job when they were hiring a woman as a replacement. Most employers do not realize that many women are the sole support for their family.

Having doors opened and chairs pulled out is just a sign of respect IMO. Nobody has the right to hit anyone regardless of sex and I believe the courts are finally catching up with all that with the abused husband cases out there. Children are not always given to the mother anymore.

So, no I don't know it's true!

 

[ducman69]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

If you honestly believe that women are being treated equally to men

I didn't say equally, I implied given preferential treatment such as being the first out of a burning building. University of Texas Engineering program won the court case that they are allowed to offer preferential treatment to female applicants in the interest of diversity, and I would have qualified for a few different scholarships if I had another leg on my chromosome.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

and particularly being paid the same money for the same job as a man, you are certainly not living in 2011.

My boss is a woman as is her boss. I am quite confident they earn more than I do.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Having doors opened and chairs pulled out is just a sign of respect IMO.

Then I am being regularly disrespected by my female companions!

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Children are not always given to the mother anymore.

I agree, but I said that mothers are given preferential treatment. According to NCHS public records, nearly 75% of all child custody awards are made to the mother, compared to 10% to the father, with the remaining equal joint custody awards. Sounds a tinsy bit preferential to me.

OK, OK, sorry I didn't mean to derail the thread, and I'm glad that the talk with Mike went well.

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Ducman69

I didn't say equally, I implied given preferential treatment such as being the first out of a burning building. University of Texas Engineering program won the court case that they are allowed to offer preferential treatment to female applicants in the interest of diversity, and I would have qualified for a few different scholarships if I had another leg on my chromosome.

My boss is a woman as is her boss. I am quite confident they earn more than I do.

Then I am being regularly disrespected by my female companions!

I agree, but I said that mothers are given preferential treatment. According to NCHS public records, nearly 75% of all child custody awards are made to the mother, compared to 10% to the father, with the remaining equal joint custody awards. Sounds a tinsy bit preferential to me.

OK, OK, sorry I didn't mean to derail the thread, and I'm glad that the talk with Mike went well.

Perhaps the persons who got the job over you had more to bring to the table - it happens.

Bosses pretty often make more money than their subordinates - higher job level and all that.

I cannot imagine how any female could disrespect you.

I believe that mothers are awarded custody because fathers are not good at "mothering" their children which is very important for the child's future.

I'm assuming your comment about Mike was not meant for me. ???

 

[momto3boys]

Originally Posted by nerdrock

Well, Mike and I have had a very long talk and it seems positive.

He stepped up yesterday and did the dishes and cleaned a bit today. We have a bit more cleaning to do in the next few hours before people start coming over. He's put out a few resumes, but since we leave in a week I don't know what good it will do - lots of places around here want you to start immediately, so if he interviewed somewhere this week, they'd want him to start next and we won't be in town. He's going to keep sending out a few resumes when we're away in the hopes that he'll get a few interviews for the week that we get back. He's applying to absolutely everything.

On a good note, on Friday he went out to poster for a local bar/grillhouse that he had applied at a few weeks ago. They had really liked him but ended up hiring someone else. He offered to poster for them because a lot of their shows aren't advertised well so they don't get great turnouts - they said they'd pay him in beer, lol, and pay the expenses (printing posters, staples, condensed milk, paintbrushes). So far everything is going really well with that - they were really impressed that he put up over 100 posters in less than an hour. One of the bartenders was complaining about the cook that they had hired, so who knows... by the time we get back maybe he'll get a job there, lol. He's also doing the sound there for a show in August.

I had also posted an ad on Kijiji for a couple looking for a pet friendly rental duplex/townhouse/house because we absolutely MUST move soon. I got an email about a small house right downtown for rent for $250 more than what we pay now for our dinky little apartment. We're going to go look at it sometime this week (hopefully). The guy that owns it knows that we won't be giving him a for sure answer until we get back from visiting Mike's family and is fine with that - the place is ready around when the students are coming back and he DOES NOT want students to live there

I also asked him approximately how much the utilities are per month, so that will let me do up a little budget and see if we really can afford it or not. So when we get back Mike will have a week and a half to get a job, if he gets one then we'll be moving in September. Keep your fingers crossed and send out vibes that Mike gets a job (even a minimum wage fulltime one would be fine!) and that we get this place.

Sending lots and lots of vibes that Mike gets a job and you guys get to move

Hope you guys enjoy your vacation

 

[mrblanche]

It's not a "male" thing to be lazy and let the woman take care of things...unless you're a lion.

It's a "modern" thing. No one seems to teach their kids that they need to get out of the house, get a job, even if it's mowing the neighborhood lawns when you're a teen, take responsibility. And so on.

 

[amberthe bobcat]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I believe that mothers are awarded custody because fathers are not good at "mothering" their children which is very important for the child's future.

Where did you get this nonsense from?? Where are the facts?? This is bull, fathers are just as good at "mothering" their children as woman are. And having a father is equally as important for a child's future. As for the pay issue, I don't see any discrimination where I work. It is a majority male work force, but the woman who do the same job get the same pay.

 

[libby74]

There are lazy free loading men in every generation. Guy sits on his patootie and runs them deeper into debt while the woman works her tail off,. Not all men of course.

But it happens often enough that anyone who finds themselves in a situation like the first friend you mentioned, where the pattern has been repeated over and over, it's time to dump the loser.

It's happened to me, two of my sisters and my mother. There comes a time when you just have to cut your losses and get out of it. There are worse things than being alone, and letting a lazy man drag you down is one of them.

I couldn't have said it better. This is the relationship my daughter is in---she works 50 hours a week and pays 90% of the bills. He is going to start his 4th year at a 2 year community college (what does that tell you?) and the state is paying his way; he's saving for a motorcycle, he's saving for a 4 year college, he has to help his parents out, he can only work part-time because he's taking (the minimum) of classes. He sits by the pool at the apartment complex while she's working a 10 hour shift.

Having said all that, no one can take advantage of you unless you let them. I wouldn't get into financial trouble for any one, let alone a perpetual college student who always has an excuse not to chip in to pay for thngs. Just my opinion, obviously, but one that I feel strongly about. Doesn't matter if you're male or female when it comes to paying your own way.

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by AmberThe Bobcat

Where did you get this nonsense from?? Where are the facts?? This is bull, fathers are just as good at "mothering" their children as woman are. And having a father is equally as important for a child's future. As for the pay issue, I don't see any discrimination where I work. It is a majority male work force, but the woman who do the same job get the same pay.

I guess I'm usiing my own personal experience and the number of friends and acquaintances over my 65 years who have had dead-beat, no-good, useless husbands. I'm sure glad they didn't get the children. Naturally there are no-good mothers too and the courts are certainly seeing that more now as witnessed by the number of men who are getting full custody so that is a good change.

The women in your work force are lucky indeed!