Is it cruel keeping 15yo cat alive if I think he's dying?

[ladymaryme]

Catwoman707- it is easy to misconstrue someone's intent online and I believe you when you say it was unintentional. Thank you for letting me know. After writing of my decision, your replies *appeared* to me to be asking why I would consider kitty heaven already, when he only has diarrhea. It sucks I have no official diagnosis, but it also sucks to watch my beloved baby wasting away. Seeing his pics from yesterday morning broke my heart. My work in app for the vet is between 2-3:00 (moved from 4:00) and I'll be asking a lot of questions I've wrote down and only after I'm satisfied with the answers will I actually make that final decision. But almost anyone seeing him waste away and his med history can pretty much predict what my vet's answers will be but he won't push anything on me. He's a good man.

I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I'd actually wanted to ask you just out of curiosity what you *thought* Milo's problem is. There's so little to go on and I also realized my cancer hypothesis can't be right, as results of his protein levels would've given that away. I'd really be interested to hear your thoughts about Milo. You and I are both on the same page that not having a diagnosis is very frustrating, but I've tried to help him in every way I could to get that answer- it just hasn't happened. Even one of the top US vet teaching hospitals couldn't give me a much hoped for diagnosis.

If you should happen to read this, I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Mary

I am so shocked at how you perceived my posts and comments.
I've never ever been accused of coming across as angry, sarcastic, one upping or shaming.
SHOCKED.
I am an extremely compassionate person, when I offer advice or support here, it feels closer than simply over the internet, like my next door neighbor who is suffering and her cat is suffering, it hurts my heart if the outcome is bad, and it thrills me when I have helped make a cat and the owner feel better.
That's why I'm here!
I certainly had no intent what-so-ever to worsen your pain, I am nearly speechless, I can't understand what I said to make you think I'm such a terrible person.

That said, I will leave your thread as surely you will be glad for, but if I used the wrong words or maybe it's my way of typing how I talk, which might be mistook somehow, I am truly sorry for this.
I suppose if you knew me as a person, which of course you don't, but you would know that I would rather hurt myself than hurt another person or animal.
I only wish you the very best for you and your cat. 
Gosh, never in my life have I heard anyone say the things you have said about me, you are clearly worn down, maybe that is why, I don't know, but I won't bother you with my meaningless hurtful and heartless posts again.
I'm truly sorry.

 

[hexiesfriend]

Let us know what is going on with Milo so we can be there for you. I had a tomcat with a similar issue. He walked into my house one day and decided he wanted to retire to my home. He was very effectionate but would never let me pick him up he stayed healthy for years but I did not look forward to the prospect of him getting sick becuase getting him care was impossible. He was even too smart for traps I put in the house. For approximately 4 months he unfortunately wasted away and though I tried everything to get him care I couldn't catch him. Then the day came when he didn't have the energy to fight me and he lost his tomcat gowls from dehydration. I rushed him to the er vet and they did the blood tests and it was some sort of blood cancer but more tests needed to be done to confirm. I let him go of course immediately, I wasn't going to continue with him being that way and what I saw looked like a terminal condition. he went to sleep in my arms the vet was wonderful in letting me hold him since all the time we spent together I was never able to hold him. I understand the balance between figuring out what is going and seeing what is happening to your kitty. I think there comes a point where their body can no longer wait for us to figure that out. That's just my input. I wanted to hold off on telling you my story but in reading everything i kind of see you may be in the same situation I was in. Here is my baby tomcat below on his fancy rug

image.jpeg

• hexiesfriend
• Oct 21, 2015

 

[ladymaryme]

An update on Milo's vet appt today. He was literally starving to death and was hospitalized today for a final "God shot."

hexiesfriend Your tomcat was certainly a beauty and I think he has the most "tomcat looking" facial features I've ever seen. I'm sorry you lost him. Although I already know the answer, over the last couple days the question keeps popping in my head: Why do we keep doing this to ourselves (as in pet owners repeatedly and voluntarily putting themselves through so much heartbreak. We all know that answer.

Thank you for asking about Milo. As I'd said, I wanted to talk to my vet first before following through. He agreed Milo has been not only suffering but had actually begun starving to death due to the incredible amounts of diarrhea he was having, even though he had the appetite of an eating champ. After a long discussion with my vet and Milo was examined, Milo was admitted to the hospital because so many diseases have been ruled out, he is leaning toward Milo having a chronic form of inflammatory bowel disease.

My baby is far sick for the anesthesia to do a biopsy for diagnosis, and there are several types of IBS, so he is going to treat Milo as if he had the three most common types using medication therapy and at last report an hour ago, the dietary management he also wanted to start has been unsuccessful bc Milo refuses to eat every kind of food and flavor offered to him. I gave my vet free reign to try what he thought best and even experiment until this weekend *with his promise that if it continues to be unsuccessful and he thinks Milo's suffering is too much, he will call me to come in for the awful journey Milo will go on. My vet was honest before he began treatment that Milo's chances don't look good. I'm glad we came to a solution to give it 100% for several days to look for any sign of hope but if not, I could never allow him to continue starving to death, as he is, and I would hold him close as he heads off to rainbow bridge. I'm so glad he'll be going somewhere full of family and love, but I hate sending my kitties there. And I still have living kitties I'll have to send to a bridge, when I'd just rather they stay home. Terrible to be thinking of my other cats' deaths. I think lack of sleep since Sunday night has brought out some bitter side. I'm afraid for Milo and I'm afraid of the incredible pain I'll feel, too. I love him so, so much. I'm sending you an online, air hug to say thank you for caring It's appreciated far more than you know!

 

[catwoman707]

Oh my gosh, I start a board mtg in just minutes but had to poke my head in here real fast and tell you when I just read the latest going's-on I felt this anxiousness inside, I am hoping for the very best and will be back here later on asap.

     

  

  

  

  

 Mega vibes!

 

[LotsOfFur]

Thanks for the update on Milo. I'm glad you went to your old vet; no matter the outcome they sound compassionate and a good one to have right now.

I agree, sometimes I wonder the same thing about willingly and repeatedly being pet guardians when it hurts so much when we have to let them go.

You've been through so much, don't forget to take care of yourself.
-Tina

 

[hexiesfriend]

They give us so much love all throughout their lives, sometimes I feel that it should be hard on us... We owe it to them.

 

[Loving Mickey]

ladymaryme Just seen your latest update. All my prayers, thoughts, and good wishes are being sent your way. I am truly hoping that your vet can help Milo. We can all clearly see that you are doing everything possible to get your kitty well. It is very obvious how much he is loved. Believe me, we all know how very much you love him. It is so devastating on us when our kitties get sick and we feel helpless. I know you are scared right now, but Milo is getting the best care. I do pray he is strong enough and gets well.
All my best!
I will have Milo in my thoughts while I await your next update.
I pray for a happy one!

 

[kittylove53]

       Kittylove53

  I am so glad that you have taken Milo to your old vet. He is getting the care he needs. I thought about Milo and you all day long.I am hoping for a positive outcome I know how you feel and I am sending love and hope to you and Milo.Please keep posting with updates on his condition.

 

[cattypurry]

My heart goes out to you and Milo!  It sounds like you've made peace with your decision, and know that you're doing what's best for him. 

I just came across your thread while waiting for test results on my 18 year old Sparky.  The vet thinks he either has hyperthyroidism or cancer, so I came here looking for information, still trying to wrap my head around it. 

You've done everything you possibly can for your baby, and know better than anyone else what is best for him.  He's lucky to have someone who loves him enough to let him go, and end his suffering.  You are a great cat-mom!

p.s.  Your update posted after my post, and I just wanted to amend mine to say that I hope the vet is successful with his treatment!  I will be thinking of and praying for both of you (hope that doesn't offend). Take care, and try to get some sleep!  

 

[damac]

my siamese cat is 16 years old as of september.  last year around the same time, after never having had sickness visits to the vet we had to take him in.  it started with some barfing a couple times a day and him being lethargic, not wanting to eat and wanting to spend the day in the hamper.  we waited a couple days the first time and he seemed to bounce back and eat again.  but although he was eating and drinking he would still vomit and we couldn't link it to food or timing/portion.  he would go into convulsions spitting it up and projecting it.

then came diahrea, then more frequently over the next week so we figured we needed to take him in.  this vet was ok rated on yelp but looking back im disgusted at there care and not referring me somewhere else!

they took his blood and said something was going on with his liver.  so they gave him some pills and food, iv, etc. and said come back in a month.  we checked in a few times because we could tell he was starting to lose weight and the diahrea and barfing continued every few days.  then he got lethargic again and that freaked us out.  we trusted the doctors and went back for another blood test and they said some number was improving and to stay on the same regime.  i know my cat and of course voiced this with them and said NO, and never went back.

then we found another highly rated cat vet on yelp further away and it was like night and day.  they did blood work and did a scan, etc. and found signs of mast cells and took a sample to test.  we talked over all the pros and cons and basically approached treatment with surgery to give the cat a chance or put him to sleep to stop his suffering.  i was told if we were lucky the mast cells typically go to spleen which they  take out and maybe pieces on liver so they did what they could while in there and investigated the digestive system.  

to our surprise they called early afternoon surgery day and said our cat was doing so well and alert it would be better to take him home with pain meds vs. their care in a cage.  was not expecting that.  he came home and was bouncing off the walls, we had to lock him up and keep him from jumping on things.  as soon as we got in the door and let him out of his cage he want right to his litter box and peed  he was eating and drinking and we didn't notice any pain with the meds they gave him.

so we took the typical approach with steroid and benadryl.  we also supplement hairball, joint health, fish oil and probiotic pills.  he eats fancy feast classic to get the meds down and we leave out a vet dry food all the time.  he steadily started to gain weight each week right after surgery and is still sitting at 11+ pounds with a little belly.

as of right now its about a year post surgery and hes the same cat i always knew.  we log his weight on a chart each week as the vets say absorption of food will probably be a sign mast cells are taking over again.  the only problem we have once in a while is getting benadryl down orally because he foams at the mouth and i have seen him spit up some liquid if he ate soon before.

i was told by cancer specialist that just on average i may have bought the cat 6 months to a year and a half to live.