Is it cruel keeping 15yo cat alive if I think he's dying?

[macha 143]

Number 10 of 'The Pets 10 Commandments:'

On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

I'm broken.

I am sorry, it's heartbreaking to let them go and please...don't  worry about rambling, we are here to comfort each other in a very difficult time like this.

Hugs to you and Milo......

 

[ladymaryme]

It appears to be malabsorption to me, due to his fur appearance and obvious diarrhea gone on for so long.

Have they treated him for intestinal parasites despite the clean results too?

His lethargy is due to dehydration, and his grouchiness to his sister is because he isn't feeling well.

I wish you luck, it's hard to give up on them, always thinking what if.......15 is not old to me.

Thank you, Catwoman. No, 15 isn't old to me, either. Indeed you're correct- he does suffer malabsorption due to 4-5 large, liquid diarrhea daily, since March. Moist food, which he will only eat (Fancy Feast), absorbs faster than dry food. He typically goes through a box of 30 cans in five days. So far, outside one med that stopped the diarrhea for five days, no medicine he's been on has stopped, or even slowed his diarrhea enough for the food to stay in him long enough. He was treated for parasites, even though test was neg. He's been on numerous antibiotics, as well, just in case, even though his white cell count was normal. One vet told me he's perfectly healthy according to all the test results and not the expected results he'd expect from a cat his age and sice so long.

Most of the time he drinks a lot of fluid but has needed IV bolis on occasion. I also do subcutaneous fluid at home if needed but only if really necessary bc he puts up a pretty good fight when forced to hold still, including doing his very quick liquid oral med! Usually he goes to vet if he's dehydrated but I did SQ today- I think leaving him dehydrated would be particularly cruel, no matter what will happen tomorrow.

His fur has been shedding, sticking up at the end of his back, near his tail, and mostly lost its luster in the early summer months and has remained that way since.

You're probably right as to why he became Mr. Nasty-Pants with his sister. There's also no other reason I can think of, outside pain, as to why he'd growled at me 3-4x yesterday. He's always been so loving. He agree he must be in pain. I believe he has cancer bc what else could it be for 5 months now? We're spending today at home together, him on my lap getting love and periodically read this forum. Stupidly, I've also been reading sad pet poems online Surely I'm not the only one who's tortured themselves witH them. I have especially despised Rainbow Bridge for years (not really) bc even when my guys and gals are all healthy, I cry every single time I read it! Also, 'May I Go Now' just tears me to pieces.

Thank you for helping by posting your concerns. Have a great night!

 

[catwoman707]

I'd imagine you have had done every test available since spending such a large amt of money.

But ultrasound? 

Lower GI with the barium?

This just doesn't feel right. Something somewhere is being missed. 

Are the vets, any of them cat only or expert in cats vet?

How about a medical teaching college? 

Has he been given ponazuril by chance? This med is amazing.

Yes, fur will lose it's softness and luster, feeling coarse and look clumpy and unkept.

But as soon as the problem is fixed it goes right back to normal and healthy.

Limiting ingredient diet? Stop all foods for 3 days and feed chicken baby food and pediolyte so his intestines settle down?

This is nuts, I'm not walking in your shoes but have a hard time giving up.

I have a cat rescue group and once had a kitten named Buddy who was tiny for his age of 8 weeks. He just wouldn't grow and had diarrhea for his entire kittenhood, meaning he had to stay caged.

I feel sad whenever I think about him.

I can't even recall everything I tried to get it stopped, eventually some off the wall combination of either meds or diet, and he had gotten a bit better, but never completely normal.

He got adopted as an outdoor mouser kitty along with some others I took to Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49'ers football team's property, and Joe adores him, but if it hadn't been for that, I don't know what would have become of this sad faced little boy.

Otherwise, while it can be tough, and go on for too long, I've always managed to fix it. Diarrhea can be caused by SO many things.

 

[Loving Mickey]

I guess I am alot like catwoman707, I have a hard time giving up, especially when there has not been a diagnosis made. I feel as though this is my own kitty and I wish with all my heart that I could help him.I guess it is my love for animals. I just want to save them all. I could come to cope with this if a vet could give a diagnosis, at least an idea. You have paid so much money and still no answers. That seems unacceptable. If blood work, x rays, ultrasound, urine tests and all were done, something should have shown up. As catwoman707 stated, something is missing here.
I will admit, the symptoms sound like cancer but maybe not. It could be so many different things.
My Mickey was diagnosed after x rays along with an ultrasound. There were numerous tiny tumors in his colon. He also had diarrhea, little eating, sleeping more but content. I just gave pallative care. I at least knew what was wrong. I just can't understand this. Some vet out there must have the answers.

 

[catwoman707]

I guess I am alot like catwoman707, I have a hard time giving up, especially when there has not been a diagnosis made. I feel as though this is my own kitty and I wish with all my heart that I could help him.I guess it is my love for animals. I just want to save them all. I could come to cope with this if a vet could give a diagnosis, at least an idea. You have paid so much money and still no answers. That seems unacceptable. If blood work, x rays, ultrasound, urine tests and all were done, something should have shown up. As catwoman707 stated, something is missing here.
I will admit, the symptoms sound like cancer but maybe not. It could be so many different things.
My Mickey was diagnosed after x rays along with an ultrasound. There were numerous tiny tumors in his colon. He also had diarrhea, little eating, sleeping more but content. I just gave pallative care. I at least knew what was wrong. I just can't understand this. Some vet out there must have the answers.

That's the darn thing about it, his only symptom is the diarrhea. Everything else is secondary to it.

Has a GREAT appetite too, which to me speaks volumes that this isn't something like cancer.

 

[Loving Mickey]

catwoman707 I understand what you are saying. I don't feel that it is cancer, since nothing showed up in all the tests that was taken on him. His main symptoms are diarrhea. It could be something that is treatable, if only a vet could figure out his problem. I only wish the poster could get a proper diagnosis on her sweet kitty before making any decisions. My heart is breaking for both her and her sweet kitty.

 

[momofmaxwell]

Oh Lady.

I am sorry.I lost my Maxwell a yr ago April 6th to small cell lymphoma.He was one month shy of 16. I also had a MILO.I called him Mighty Moe.9 yrs old cancer.I used to have 8 all indoor & can relate to a "T" your email.I have not taken Maxwell's collar off my wrist since that day i let him go.I just can't.I even made an appt then cancelled at the last minute.I too have had kitties that were  skeletons & a pelt.Tried everything but still the result was the same.A damn hard decision but one made out of love & only love.He knows.My Boy knows that.They will be together & run through the tall grass at the bridge with a crooked tail looking for fat measers.Maxwell  is the Welcome Wagon at the bridge & will welcome him as well as others with open paws.He loved everybody.Dog's too.He'll show your boy all the great hunting spots,the soft sandy beaches with the babbling brooks of fish so plentiful.They will both be whole & young again.No more pain ever.Your Boy will wait for you when it is your time & wait for your call.Maxwell will tell him all this.I have had 17 kitties in my 37 yrs and they have all been such a gift in my life.I know you understand.Everyone understands and absolutely hates this time.I hate & will always hate it.But being a Mom to a Furbaby or Daddy it is our responsibility I think to not let them hurt anymore.They hide pain so well from us we still  think they are ok.You know your Boy.I knew all of mine.You know when.He will be alright & thanks you with all his heart that you brought him into your life to love & care for all these yrs & never threw him away.He truly loves you.Always remember that.OK? Now I am balling.I have a hole on me that will not heal.My Boy.God I miss him.Sending you strength & courage & peace to you & your boy & transitioning into the next life of sunny days,makin' biscuits & just lying around soaking it up.

Hugs Honey during this most horrible time that I can literally slip my feet right into your shoes & relate.Cindy xx

 

[ladymaryme]

catwoman707
Sorry but my cat continuing to suffer is not ok with me, with or without a diagnosis. Reading your reply, whether your cat is suffering or not never comes into the equation. Your unnecessary sarcasm and attempt at shaming only compounds pain- it also implies I'm easily giving up on my anorexic furbaby, who is now so far gone physically, he could use bandaids as kitty depends. Most of the things you asked, I've offered either initially or in follow up replies/posts but will clarify again: yes, Milo went to a veterinary school of medicine; he has refused all foods, human food, as well, except for Fancy Feast beef, chicken and turkey flavor; yes, he went to a specialist at Feline Internal Medicine, however, his hobby was exotic birds so he would see one on occasion as a patient as a personal favor outside business hours;

Since last week, Milo has sprayed diarrhea so badly, it has all went on either the wall or large liquid poo puddles on hardwood, unable to make it to her box most times now. It was only on occasion. I vomit each time but I won't cage him and he's never been outside during his 15 years, as it reduces a cat's average lifespan due to possible animal attack or being run over by a car...as another member offered, we all do the best we can for our furbaby kids.

This is nuts, I'm not walking in your shoes but have a hard time giving up.

Your use of the word 'but' negates everything onr sayes or writes before that, yet you readily admit the lengths I've gone to for Milo since March. Although I'm not a member of a rescue group, I've taken in many sick and/or stray cats, and one Visla and one coon dog, and vaccinated, nursed and spayed/neutered them, and adopted all but 11 out to other homes. Im mom to 8 cats and stepmommy to my mom"s poodle. I'm not new to sicknesses in cats or with vets, and am essentially familiar with all available diagnostic tests available to animals because I order them on humans. Obviously, the "normals" are very different, though. Also apparent is you're more educated than I re: animal health but both animal & human die from illnesses and diseases go unsolved daily. Whatever has caused Milo"s diarrhea is killing him (e.g. food poisoning, cancer, etc), not diarrhea. Ironically, my mom died at a young age of th exact thing.

Clearly, just by looking at the pictures, my Milo is dying. I'm sorry I don't have the answer that both of us cannot believe science nor vets delivered.

Anyone else posting here, working in medicine will agree that as sad as it may be, sometimes all the primary doctors, specialists, consults, top PAs and nursing, and cutting edge diagnostic testing just aren't enough to give a patient's family the answer that'd offer an explanation. Milo is slowly dying, whether you or I like it. I'm sure he doesn't. It's not "only diarrhea" when the cause can lead to death when a solution isn't or cannot be found.

Best of luck with the kitties at your cat rescue group. No animal deserves to be lonely or suffer. I'm hurting enough and your response has only increased the pain I feel for reaching the decision I feel is right for Milo. As a previous member stated and as your aware, one will always question if they reached their decision too soon or too late. Nothing of benefit is gained by shaming members who decide what is best for *their* cat when it comes to ending suffering.

...So hold me now, just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you’ll let me go today. — Susan A. Jackson

Being polite in the face of sarcasm and condescending insults isn't being fake...it's just sucking it up and acting like an adult. Sometimes with an added eyeroll.

Good night all. I hope to get to sleep soon. For those who care to, please think of my loving Milo happily running across rainbow bridge, going home to reunite forever. I'll never forget or stop loving him.

 

[ladymaryme]

momofmaxwell
I'm so glad Max will be there to help Milo at his new home. Thank you, Cindy, for sharing your story and compassion. I enjoyed reading your reply and I know so much of your pain and hurt, for it has been my companion before, as well. You'll never forget, nor do you want to. I'm glad Milo won't be traveling alone to the bridge tomorrow, and please ask Max to watch over my sweet baby for me. :'(

Thanks for understanding how very hard this was, is, and will be. I tried.

 

[hexiesfriend]

I will just reiterate what I said before and I think a lot of us here feel the same. Whatever decision, It is the right one because you love Milo. Spend this time with him give him lots of love and know we have all been there and know this isn't easy.

 

[Loving Mickey]

ladymaryme I hope I didn't cause you anymore pain. Believe me, that was never my intentions. I know you love your kitty and don't want him to suffer. I would never want that either. It is hard when we are typing words down instead of speaking directly to a person. The feelings that we are trying to express may come across all wrong. If anything that I may have said offended you, I am truly sorry.
I will be thinking of you and Milo in the days ahead.
Give him some cuddles from me.
He may meet my Mickey and they may play together.
All the best to you and Milo!
Take Care!!

 

[ladymaryme]

That's the darn thing about it, his only symptom is the diarrhea. Everything else is secondary to it.
Has a GREAT appetite too, which to me speaks volumes that this isn't something like cancer.

you forgot vomiting and although I consider it nil next to his chronic diarrhea, he frequently walks crooked. When he "shakes it off" he at least loses his balance, if not fall to the side. You sure are angry because I refuse to let Milo, who I know better than any other human on earth, suffer any longer. His excessive when diarrhea is so out of control, it sprays directly on the wall beside the litter box. Honestly, I vomit occasionally from the most putrid smell I've ever had the misfortune of entering my nostrils. Yesterday, I didn't make it to my bathroom for a private, projectile vomiting session. Poor fella. "My boy" as he's been called. Uncontrolled, chronic diarrhea leads to only one outcome. All those years of college paid off.

I'm baffled as to why you think he should suffer even more than he has and I'm baffled as to your anger, condescending sarcasm, one-upping, shaming, etc. Your previous posts certainly aren't welcoming...it feels more like your spewing anger because I won't let my boy suffer anymore.

 

[ladymaryme]

Thank you. He's laying next to me and I do so love him very much. It is sad that we've all been here before, making tough, painful decisions. I think my anxiety will destroy my soul before daybreak! Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate it a lot and since I'm being worked in at vet appt, I'lol likely read some posts over for a bit of strength while waiting.

I will just reiterate what I said before and I think a lot of us here feel the same. Whatever decision, It is the right one because you love Milo. Spend this time with him give him lots of love and know we have all been there and know this isn't easy.

 

[LotsOfFur]

thinking of you and Milo.

 

[ladymaryme]

Loving Mickey I appreciate your apology. I really do. As I know you know, it was one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make. As the years went by, I'd forgotten how raw the pain is.

I hope Milo and Mickey become good friends through the bond they share of loving parents!
(Apologies for the likely auto corrects my phone did to your Mickey's name spelling. Just noticed it tried to correct it to Mikey in this post!).

Thank you for sending this nameless (excluding the Mary bit), faceless stranger extra strength when needed most.

 

[kittylove53]

         Dear Lady Mary Me,

   Kittylove53 here. I totally understand exactly what you are going through. I have had to make this decision many times. I have come to the conclusion that at least for me I want my beloved kitties to die at home and hopefully in my arms. I feel that just moving them to the discomfort of the vets office with the bright lights and the cold metal table is too much for them to bare. I feel that they want the love and security of your touch there with them in the end. You love them so very much and they know it they trust you above anyone else. My heart is breaking for you and Milo. He is a beautiful boy. Milo knows how much you love him, even if he growls. He wants to be the kitty he used to be but he cannot. I feel that only you of course can make this decision for what is best for the both of you. I have been there for my kitties holding them in my arms until they have passed. I feel that they are happiest in their familiar surroundings with you there. I know just by the way you talk about Milo  how deeply you love him,you have done everything you possibly can for him. He knows in his heart that you want him to be like he was when he was well.  He knows how very much he is in your heart. He needs you to be there to comfort him as best you can. All my love goes out to both of you .

 

[walkingrock]

My doggie went to Rainbow Bridge in January, she was only 8, and I had anticipated about double the time with her. I miss her dearly. Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried harder, given more time; but it wouldn't have improved her or our quality of life with her, so it was the right choice for us.

 

[catwoman707]

you forgot vomiting and although I consider it nil next to his chronic diarrhea, he frequently walks crooked. When he "shakes it off" he at least loses his balance, if not fall to the side. You sure are angry because I refuse to let Milo, who I know better than any other human on earth, suffer any longer. His excessive when diarrhea is so out of control, it sprays directly on the wall beside the litter box. Honestly, I vomit occasionally from the most putrid smell I've ever had the misfortune of entering my nostrils. Yesterday, I didn't make it to my bathroom for a private, projectile vomiting session. Poor fella. "My boy" as he's been called. Uncontrolled, chronic diarrhea leads to only one outcome. All those years of college paid off.

I'm baffled as to why you think he should suffer even more than he has and I'm baffled as to your anger, condescending sarcasm, one-upping, shaming, etc. Your previous posts certainly aren't welcoming...it feels more like your spewing anger because I won't let my boy suffer anymore.

I am so shocked at how you perceived my posts and comments.

I've never ever been accused of coming across as angry, sarcastic, one upping or shaming.

SHOCKED.

I am an extremely compassionate person, when I offer advice or support here, it feels closer than simply over the internet, like my next door neighbor who is suffering and her cat is suffering, it hurts my heart if the outcome is bad, and it thrills me when I have helped make a cat and the owner feel better.

That's why I'm here!

I certainly had no intent what-so-ever to worsen your pain, I am nearly speechless, I can't understand what I said to make you think I'm such a terrible person.

That said, I will leave your thread as surely you will be glad for, but if I used the wrong words or maybe it's my way of typing how I talk, which might be mistook somehow, I am truly sorry for this.

I suppose if you knew me as a person, which of course you don't, but you would know that I would rather hurt myself than hurt another person or animal.

I only wish you the very best for you and your cat. 

Gosh, never in my life have I heard anyone say the things you have said about me, you are clearly worn down, maybe that is why, I don't know, but I won't bother you with my meaningless hurtful and heartless posts again.

I'm truly sorry.

 

[ladymaryme]

Thank you, lotsoffur. I appreciate that

thinking of you and Milo.

 

[ladymaryme]

Walkingrock- I'm so sorry about your doggie. January wasn't long ago and I'm sure your feeling of loss is still immense. Peace of mind that you did right by him is an irreplaceable gift.

My doggie went to Rainbow Bridge in January, she was only 8, and I had anticipated about double the time with her. I miss her dearly. Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried harder, given more time; but it wouldn't have improved her or our quality of life with her, so it was the right choice for us.