Integrating Stray With 3 Resident Furbabies

[chicy724]

This is just my opinion, and I could be wrong, but I wouldn't put Fluffy through another vet visit, sedation and bath at this time. It could be too distressing for him right now. It's been 3 weeks since his vet visit, right? His scent is already in the house. The main issue you are likely dealing with now is one of territory. Fluffy has taken over one of their rooms, and taking up some of your attention, so they are a bit jealous. I think it's wonderful that a few of them will play with Fluffy in his safe room, that's exactly the right way to do it.

His last vet visit was March 14th. This was for his FVRCP (the first visit got to be too much and they opted to wait), and his grooming appointment which was done at the vet's office. Good news was that the vet told me they had a bit of an easier time handling him at that visit so he was getting better with other humans messing with him..

Sooo.. no one is playing with Fluffy except for us (poor Fluffy!). I am sorry if I confused anyone.
I totally get the territory/jealousy thing. Daisy gets jealous of Milo and Lilly and they've been her family for 6-10 years.
Maybe we should also do more swapping where we keep him in our master bathroom and let them roam around the rest of the house? In addition to putting Milo in Fluffy's room and focusing on him getting to know Fluffy better?

Regarding the food situation, it's been my experience that strays and ferals often have had issues with hunger and even starvation while they were outside. So they are anxious about food. Which is why I leave out dry food 24/7 at different feeding stations. I don't want any of my cats to ever feel stressed about the availability of food. In the beginning, the new cat may gobble down food as much and often as he can, but after a while he'll relax and no longer gorge himself.

I think you've convinced me to get a "vacation feeder"; one of those that holds a bunch of food for Fluffy, in his room. And during feeding times we can put it out near the gate and feed the others opposite the gate like we have. He may not be hungry then though, since he probably would eat throughout the day but it makes sense. Maybe I could just leave some in the feeder during the day but not keep it full, and fill it more when we feed the others so that he's not done so fast. He is always done way before them and then freaks them out when he's no longer occupied by food.

By the way, Fluffy has many names I'd like to share and you may get a kick out of...
-Fluffmaster Flex
-Fluffykins
-Fluffernutter
-Fluffy

 

[chicy724]

Still cannot edit.. I meant to say, in regards to the grooming and sedation- I wasn't planning on doing that again anytime soon.
I was going to take the suggestion of the towel and just rub it all over him/Daisy without bathing him again.

 

[KarenKat]

I’m a fan of Fluffmaster Flex Such a beauty too.

 

[di and bob]

Also keep in mind the 'introduction' will get easier, it won't be as exhausting as it is now. Let your little female be hissy, she WILL stand up for herself eventually, my Chrissy did, then she will lord over them. That is what older females do.
Also cats don't need baths unless they have diarrhea spread everywhere or something. I have cats that have never had a bath in 10 years, they are clean creatures. It stresses them out too much. I would concentrate on getting the two boys to be friends, your girl will follow. PS to edit, when you are done posting look at the bottom left of your post, you will see a little pencil with edit next to it, next to the 'flag' sign. Click on that. It disappears after a period of time but is there for several hours.

 

[chicy724]

HA! It's been years since we've given the resident three baths
We got Fluffy a "spa day" because of the matting (it was to the point that he was pulling some out and left bald spots which are just now slowly growing fur patches) and also he was dirty from being outside. And I guess we felt like he deserved it from being stuck outside. It accompanies his "new lease on life".

We have two girls, so there will indeed be many hissy fits over time. Lilly still throws fits at her brother Milo.... 6 years later she grumbles like a panther at him when he comes near or wants to play.

I just got some of the Sheba Meaty sticks for them. I am hoping those will keep them around the area longer because they have to work at them a little longer to finish.. we shall see!

Thanks for the tip on edits.. however, I do not have the edit function yet. I guess that will come in time as I post more. So unfortunately as I think of things I forgot to add I have to make a new reply.

 

[Furballsmom]

What I could do is just put a towel or blanket down on the back of the couch where she usually goes and then rub that all over Fluffy without bathing him?
Re: The mats... just before his grooming I actually did cut a few off of him because they had gotten so big it had to have been uncomfortable for him. It left a little behind but the little dude let me. I was surprised! The two behind his ears I didn't even attempt. That was too sketchy!

We will also try swapping rooms by putting Milo in Fluffy's room for a while one night and put Fluffy back into the other bedroom. Then switch them up again?

Hi again!
Yes, I think rubbing him with a towel she's slept on might work well to help her.

AWESOME, good for you regarding the mat trimming!! He's so into you, I just think this is fantastic!

and yes, swapping rooms is a terrific idea.
(I unfortunately don't know what the number of posts is for new members to be given the option to edit)

 

[Furballsmom]

I’m a fan of Fluffmaster Flex Such a beauty too.

me too

By the way, you sound so much better in your later posts here, does my heart good to see/hear that!

Did you know that your thread is being featured on the home page?

 

[chicy724]

By the way, you sound so much better in your later posts here, does my heart good to see/hear that!

That is because of all the awesome support, encouragement and advice you've all provided. It has made us feel much better about things, and perhaps like we're not failing and had too high of expectations of the time it would take!

Did you know that your thread is being featured on the home page?

Really?! That is so cool! I hope it helps others find the information you've all provided thus far and going forward.
Fluffmaster Flex is famous!

 

[chicy724]

Welp, last night and today were very similar.
Hubby reported that the Resident Three ate just fine with Fluffy at the gate, and even after Fluffy was done eating. Unfortunately I wasn't there as I had to work late.

They didn't necessarily hang out for a while, but they still hang around for treats and come close'ish to the gate for the treats.. especially/at least Daisy. She will get within a few inches of the gate if we put the treats that close. She's a bit of a treat hog and will steal them from her brother and sister if we don't give them theirs far enough away. haha

This morning was the same as most mornings.. the girls walk away and don't finish their meals near the gate. Apparently all three walked away soon into eating but then came back on their own. But then the girls walked away with about half or more of their food left.

We did not venture to room swap or let him roam last night, and tonight we are not going to be home after they eat dinner. This weekend we will be able to do the swapping. I think we will put Milo in Fluffy's room, put Fluffy in our bedroom because the Resident Three spend a lot of time in there, and let the others roam the rest of the house.

 

[chicy724]

We have an explorer.. this is Milo staring into Fluffmaster's room. We've left it all.open on that side for Fluffster to roam and let the others visit as desired.

There's been a little hissing from Daisy (oldest female) and she's now hiding under our bed. Lilly ii on the countertop observing what happens while Milo visits.

 

[Furballsmom]

Go Milo!

 

[Tobermory]

What a cute guy! Six months ago, I adopted a semi feral three-year-old girl (Mocha, aka Mochie, the Bean, the Squeak) and did a long slow introduction to 13-year-olds Lily and Iris. Mocha loves other cats but Lily and Iris weren’t having it. Mocha was fine but the sisters were nasty—hissy and slappy and growly. Lily chased her; Iris ran from her and hid. And Lily also made her displeasure known by peeing outside the litter box. Oh joy.

Unlike Furballsmom , Feliway worked for my cats. I used both the original Feliway diffuser, which they’re now calling Classic, and the newer Feliway Multicat diffuser. The latter seemed to help Lily’s aggression quite a bit. I think it’s like catnip: some cats respond to Feliway, others are immune.

I brush all of the girls a lot, and I think it helps to get Mocha’s scent on Lily and Iris. I let each cat smell the brush before I begin and no one has objected!

It has taken six months but everyone co-exists pretty well now. As I write this, Lily is on my lap and Mocha is curled up at my feet. Lily isn’t ever going to love Mocha, but they’ve touched noses once or twice and, more importantly from my perspective, Lily seems to have gotten over her bad litter box behavior. So...the point of this rambling is to reiterate what everyone else has said...it takes time and patience!

 

[Tobermory]

Ha! I just took this photo! First time ever. Lily on the left and Mocha on the right...and Mocha was there when Lily walked up.

It will all work out for your tribe!

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[chicy724]

Tobermory I'm so happy to hear all is going well for your kitties! I hope we also have success.. even if it takes 6+ months. With our vacation in a couple of weeks, we may not progress too far forward until after we return.

I have one Multicat Feliway, and 2 regular comfort zone ones. I just bought a pack of 6 regular comfort zone refills. The Multicat is almost gone.
.....should I buy more of the Multicat specific ones? I am a bit confused on the difference but now am concerned I don't have enough Multicat and too much regular comfort zone. I was going to get one more diffuser because I don't think the single one in the main part of the house is enough.. too big a space for just one.

 

[Tobermory]

I was confused, too! I had used the regular several years ago with a problem cat child and didn’t know they had a second kind. Here are the descriptions from the Feliway website:

Feliway Classic: When comfortable and happy, cats mark their territory as familiar by rubbing their face against corners, furniture, people, or other cats at home. They leave an odorless message known as a feline facial pheromone. When present in the environment, these "happy messages" provide comfort and security to cats. By mimicking the natural feline reassuring messages, FELIWAY CLASSIC helps your cat happily adjust to pace of modern life. You can provide calming and comfort at home and help prevent or reduce urine spraying, scratching or hiding.​

Feliway Multicat: Mother cats communicate with her kittens through natural messages released into the air. These "harmony messages" are called cat appeasing pheromones. They help maintain social bonds between cats of all ages. By mimicking these natural feline appeasing messages, FELIWAY MultiCat helps your cats live in harmony and avoid tension, conflict and fighting.​

I used the “Classic” in the room where I kept Mocha for the first two weeks to reduce her stress and where she continued to stay even after the door was left open. She’s not at all aggressive so didn’t need that. I used both kinds in the living room where aggressive Lily spends most of her time and in the family room where Mocha hangs out a lot. I have the Multicat there because it’s the room all the cats have to pass through to reach their litter boxes. Six months in I’m still using both. Mocha is still skittish, and Lily starts to get cranky again when the Multicat dries up. I order it from Amazon. Way cheaper to buy the refills in a six pack.

I know it doesn’t work for all cats, but I encouraged the sanctuary where I volunteer to switch from the regular to the multicat in the two main rooms where the cats mingle (none of the animals are caged) and it has really helped. They still use the regular for the kitties who have to be alone in the isolation room.

I understand your anxiety at leaving them. They may be calmer when you return, though. Here’s hoping!

 

[chicy724]

This is unrelated to my thread here, but please keep our friends and their kitty in your thoughts. He was just diagnosed with feline aeortic thromboembolism. He's having emergency surgery today. Positive thoughts from the kitty community appreciated!

This morning they noticed he couldn't use his back legs and rushed him to the clinic.
My friends are heartbroken. I'm hoping this surgery helps him live longer and more comfortable.

 

[chicy724]

And not a whole lot of progress on the integration. We've been letting Fluffmaster roam his side of the house when we are home and the others will at times stare into his area.

There have been times Daisy and Milo have gone up to the gate near him, and some hissing occurs. Especially for Daisy- we think she's trying to tell him "I am the queen.. you will bow down to me!" We feel like he seems to "back down" when she is there but it is hard to read.

The feedings are still iffy. The only one that will go up to the food dish and eat super easily is Milo. He is a piggy though.. so I think nothing really gets between him and his food. We have to most often, carry Lilly to the bowls and then she eats some of it and walks away. Daisy will usually go back on her own but it takes her a bit... and she doesn't finish. So I do not now what to think of that, really.

 

[Furballsmom]

We're definitely keeping the other kitty in our thoughts and prayers!!
Just a quick thought, do you have a way to keep the girls eating elsewhere after the 'testing', so they doesn't start losing any weight?
The girls are maybe being grumpy that their food is in questionable/shared territory...

 

[chicy724]

Thank you! They decided to let him go He is going into heart failure, and even with the surgery he won't have use of his hind legs and his quality of life would be terrible. They've made the difficult decision to let him go.

About our girls: Yes, we wind up putting their food either further back, or in our bedroom so they still eat. We may just have to start feeding them further back to see if they will eat without walking away. Daisy however, normally walks away and comes back anyhow.. even before Fluffmaster. The difference is she starts eating, looks up at him and sometimes walks away. Sometimes she will continue eating. It is so up and down.