You'd be surprised! Now I think I saw another thread about "age differences" but sometimes you can find the package you are looking for by adjusting the age variable. There are a host of older guys (not talking 60+ year old grandfather types though) who end up dating / marrying younger women. Generally the guys are past the want to have kids phase, tend to be a little more financially secure and have learned how to be pleasant and accomodating for their significant other.Originally Posted by white cat lover
Coming from the 20 year old who's never been on a date....yes....there are aspect of the whole "married" thing....shall we say, benefitsI'm sure I'd like.....but I don't see me getting married. Unless I can find a man who likes cats but doesn't want kids.....
Originally Posted by white cat lover
Coming from the 20 year old who's never been on a date....yes....there are aspect of the whole "married" thing....shall we say, benefitsI'm sure I'd like.....but I don't see me getting married. Unless I can find a man who likes cats but doesn't want kids.....
Someday I might find a guy....but I dunno. The whole urge to date all my friends had in high school hasn't kicked in yet for me!Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf
You'd be surprised! Now I think I saw another thread about "age differences" but sometimes you can find the package you are looking for by adjusting the age variable. There are a host of older guys (not talking 60+ year old grandfather types though) who end up dating / marrying younger women. Generally the guys are past the want to have kids phase, tend to be a little more financially secure and have learned how to be pleasant and accomodating for their significant other.
Lots of younger guys are often stuck on themselves. Whiles its ok to be a little personally selfish once in a while, it doesn't make for a positive relationship in lots of cases. Hence the 50%+ divorce rate.
Now don't get me wrong. This is not the "dirty old man" deal. You just may find out that someone who is more mature is a better fit for your lifestyle choices. Your questionairre should include things like, "So, how many litter boxes have you changed?" or "Do you prefer long or shorthair in your coffee?", or "How do you feel about having 4 or more cat butts in your face first thing in the morning when you wake up?"
And something else to consider. No kids now may turn into a sudden "OMG the biologicial clock is ticking and I have a sudden urge to reproduce!" Changing your mind is something that can and does happen. Hopefully the guy is good with that!
Don't give up on the dating deal. You just haven't found one thats worth dating. There is someone for everyone and it may take a little while to find that person. In the meantime, keep working on the questions. That way you will be ready when Mr "Might be Right" shows up!
You are so right. I always say the best part of being a "grown up" is being able to act "like a kid" but some of the fellow older brethren take that to mean "Acting childish" which does not translate into anything faintly resembling a healthy relationship.Originally Posted by katiemae1277
as a 29 year old not interested in having kids, i do look to older guys as suggested, but I'm finding that older does not always mean more settled and/or mature
that's so true, I want someone who likes to have fun, but also takes care of his responsibilities, and it would be nice if his idea of fun isn't limited to playing pool or going to the barOriginally Posted by Mark Kumpf
You are so right. I always say the best part of being a "grown up" is being able to act "like a kid" but some of the fellow older brethren take that to mean "Acting childish" which does not translate into anything faintly resembling a healthy relationship.
I focus on being able to pay my own bills (which means helping kids out too...) and keeping a positive attitude. Settled & mature. I get along well with all age groups but it is annoying when you are dealing with someone who never made it past 8 or 9 years old in the maturity scale. I fully appreciate how hard it is sometimes to find the right person.
Hmmmm.....am I sensing a connection here Katie between you and Mark.....Originally Posted by katiemae1277
that's so true, I want someone who likes to have fun, but also takes care of his responsibilities, and it would be nice if his idea of fun isn't limited to playing pool or going to the barHave some culture please! and these are guys in their late thirties!
Mark...that sounds like a quote from Gene Simmons....famously "happily unmarried".Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf
SOmeome told me this.
Love is blind
Marriage is love
Marriage is an institution
Therefore: Marriage is an institution for the blind...
-- I have been institutionalized before but I was released and pronounced completely cured....
I totally agree. People just talk without thinking at all, some don't even remember or mean it at all.Originally Posted by SwampWitch
People say stupid, thoughtless things; I think sometimes to just hear themselves speak.
This is so totally me! I think that this amount of independence often scares a guy off. And intelligence frightens off more than a few men, too! I know I'm not the marrying type. I tried it once and realized that I prefer my independence. I don't like being cheated on, lied to or used. Unfortunately, I've made 3 bad relationship choices in my life, and now my motto is: "Three strikes, I'm out!" Although Mark, you sound like someone who could be very interesting. I'd probably go out with a guy with a similar philosophy on life.....but never marry! I've learned from my mistakes!Originally Posted by Natalie_ca
To me that is a compliment because I take that to mean the following qualities:
- independent
- self supporting
- decisive
- Doesn't need a man to feel "complete"
When someone with those qualities does get married, it's because they are looking for an equal partner in life to compliment their lives, not make them feel complete, and not someone to heavily depend on because they are are strong in their own right.
I'm glad I found me a guy like that!Originally Posted by white cat lover
Unless I can find a man who likes cats but doesn't want kids.....