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- Oct 11, 2006
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The past week or so, I've, for the first time in my life, felt quite down. I think I'll find some way to solve the problem on own, and with some advice from y'all.
We've been married 7 years, and don't have (and are not having) kids. I just realized how empty my life is in the "need humans around me more often" area. I have exactly one real friend, who I also work with. I don't make friends easily; I can schmooz well at parties, etc., but I don't make the type of friends who want to really bond with me away from those parties, etc. I guess what I'm saying is, I LOVE to entertain in my home--I love to cook for people, make them happy, chat about shared interests, etc. I love making the house look nice for them. I've tried asking the neighbors over since we've been here; they once (7 years ago) came to a Christmas party. We've invited them and their kids to a couple of Halloween parties (which were not on the actual night, so it wasn't a matter of taking the kids out for that which prevented them coming). They all have excuses not to come. They're nice enough when I run into them outdoors, though, but not really friends. They all have kids; until recently, most of the wives didn't work outside the home, like I do. A few months after moving here, I was invited to a home demonstration party (I hate those!). One woman turned to me, introduced herself, asked if I were married, then asked if we had kids. I said, "No", then she abruptly turned to talk to someone else, ignoring me the rest of the night (she was sitting on the sofa, beside me, BTW). I was the only person at the party who was childless.
I was home sick today, and the feeling hit me again--just how lonely I am. DH gets home all times of the night. I have family who doesn't speak to me. Mom died in June. My friend now has a live-in-fiance, and has increasingly declined invitations for them to come over (I think it's him). I don't have a lot of time to go out. With 9 cats, all I do is clean, go to work, and sometimes to reenactments a couple of times a year. I'm a bit of a loner, but even I need human interaction sometimes! Holidays suck around here. It's just DH & I, which is ok, but 7 years straight of that is wearing thin--it's not being with him--it just shows how lonely we are--and no kids to share things with. We adore our cats, but they are not people. If it weren't for them, though, I'd go around the bend.
How do I meet people when I don't have time and don't feel like driving far to meet them? I would love to have people visit, and chat about history, pets, politics, etc. Everyone seems to be busy with their lives, and have no time to be with us.
Of course, many of the neighbors conveniently are "allergic to cats" or "don't like cats"; I've actually had friends say they wouldn't come over because they are afraid of cats.
Thanks for listening.
We've been married 7 years, and don't have (and are not having) kids. I just realized how empty my life is in the "need humans around me more often" area. I have exactly one real friend, who I also work with. I don't make friends easily; I can schmooz well at parties, etc., but I don't make the type of friends who want to really bond with me away from those parties, etc. I guess what I'm saying is, I LOVE to entertain in my home--I love to cook for people, make them happy, chat about shared interests, etc. I love making the house look nice for them. I've tried asking the neighbors over since we've been here; they once (7 years ago) came to a Christmas party. We've invited them and their kids to a couple of Halloween parties (which were not on the actual night, so it wasn't a matter of taking the kids out for that which prevented them coming). They all have excuses not to come. They're nice enough when I run into them outdoors, though, but not really friends. They all have kids; until recently, most of the wives didn't work outside the home, like I do. A few months after moving here, I was invited to a home demonstration party (I hate those!). One woman turned to me, introduced herself, asked if I were married, then asked if we had kids. I said, "No", then she abruptly turned to talk to someone else, ignoring me the rest of the night (she was sitting on the sofa, beside me, BTW). I was the only person at the party who was childless.
I was home sick today, and the feeling hit me again--just how lonely I am. DH gets home all times of the night. I have family who doesn't speak to me. Mom died in June. My friend now has a live-in-fiance, and has increasingly declined invitations for them to come over (I think it's him). I don't have a lot of time to go out. With 9 cats, all I do is clean, go to work, and sometimes to reenactments a couple of times a year. I'm a bit of a loner, but even I need human interaction sometimes! Holidays suck around here. It's just DH & I, which is ok, but 7 years straight of that is wearing thin--it's not being with him--it just shows how lonely we are--and no kids to share things with. We adore our cats, but they are not people. If it weren't for them, though, I'd go around the bend.
How do I meet people when I don't have time and don't feel like driving far to meet them? I would love to have people visit, and chat about history, pets, politics, etc. Everyone seems to be busy with their lives, and have no time to be with us.
Of course, many of the neighbors conveniently are "allergic to cats" or "don't like cats"; I've actually had friends say they wouldn't come over because they are afraid of cats.
Thanks for listening.