I think my humiliation over this whole situation is wearing off...but I really have no one to talk to about this....and there's along drawn out back story...so I will just sum it up....my mom's side of family (and I love them dearly) are very opinionated....however, they tend to opinionated at other peoples expense...like, they say what they want, and if it hurts your feelings...well, toughen up. I always knoew that about them...but I learned from my Mama that you can be opinonated, and thats okay, but that diplomacy is a very good attribute to have in your repoitre. So, I have always been diplomatic in my opinions. I will tell the truth, but I will be nice about it.
My problems started 3 years ago...I was in a horrific accident and fractured my pelvis on both sides...as I started to heal, my hips were a little wider. I mentioned it to my doctor, and she told me that where I had fractured them, I would always have a little pooch, there was nothing I could do about it, and I was a woman, I had child bearing hips, and that I was not overweight. I started taking zoloft last september, and I have not changed my eating habits, I still exercise but I gained about 19 pounds since september. Mix all of that in one big bowl, and you have me self conscious Diane. I am 5'5 and I am a perfect size 10. A little chubby...but I have always been that way.
Well, for awhile now, my grandfather has been on my case to lose weight, and I have ignored it, and I have ignored it, and I have ignored it. Well, this past Saturday, I couldnt ignore it anymore. He told me that I needed to get slim and trim again....I have put on weight in the past 3 years....and I started to argue with him, and then I stopped...and I just told him "This is me. Take it or leave it. I can't and WONT change who or what I am...I am sorry I am fat and you cant deal with that." And I left my grandparents in a huff. The only reason I gave a damn was because my grandmother was hurt by the exchange. I get in the truck with my sister....and I can admit, I was humiliated and hurt by his words....and she tells me what my aunt said (who lives across the street from grandparents.) Every year, my family and I take a trip to Ocean Sands, where we rent a cottage for the week and hang out. Yeah, great, wooo-hooo. Not. My aunt is obsessive about everything from what we do to when we eat. Well, I got married last year, and given mine and my husbands job, I could either take the family trip to Ocean Sands or take a honeymoon. We opted to spend time with our family. So, she calls me up and says "Lets make this your honeymoon, and you can have the master suite with the whirlpool tub." I am like, okay, that sounds great, thanks. The 2nd day we were there, I got a terrible cold. So I didnt help is preparing any food...I was sick, I didnt need to be coughing and sneezing all over everyones food...I took a nap one afternoon because I couldnt breathe and was having trouble sleeping...I did do the dishes a few times, and I did watch her 3 kids so she could do what she wanted to do. I thought everything was fine....then Saturday, she keeps my sister there to b*tch about how I didnt do anything last year, and if me and my husband thought we were just going to sit on the couch and read magazines and take naps, we were going to piss her off quick.....I LOST IT!!! I was so angry...but too far up the road to turn back, that I calmly had my sister call my mother and tell her that I was through with her entire family picking on me and my husband, and I would not be participating in the family vacation this year. My Mom hit the roof. When I got to her house on Saturday night to have dinner with her and my father, she was on the phone laying my grandfather out. Then, she called my aunt and let her have it, too. I got an apology from my grandfather, but I am still going to be self conscious next week in a bathing suit at the beach...wondering if he's wondering if I should be released back into the ocean. And I will be walking on eggs shells all week wondering if my aunt is keeping track of everything I am NOT doing.
I am so through with it...and my Dad told me not to worry about it that I am not fat, but my self esteem has really taken a beating this past weekend.....but I think my anger is beyond justified.........and the humiliation is definitely a feeling I will wear for a little while longer.....
My problems started 3 years ago...I was in a horrific accident and fractured my pelvis on both sides...as I started to heal, my hips were a little wider. I mentioned it to my doctor, and she told me that where I had fractured them, I would always have a little pooch, there was nothing I could do about it, and I was a woman, I had child bearing hips, and that I was not overweight. I started taking zoloft last september, and I have not changed my eating habits, I still exercise but I gained about 19 pounds since september. Mix all of that in one big bowl, and you have me self conscious Diane. I am 5'5 and I am a perfect size 10. A little chubby...but I have always been that way.
Well, for awhile now, my grandfather has been on my case to lose weight, and I have ignored it, and I have ignored it, and I have ignored it. Well, this past Saturday, I couldnt ignore it anymore. He told me that I needed to get slim and trim again....I have put on weight in the past 3 years....and I started to argue with him, and then I stopped...and I just told him "This is me. Take it or leave it. I can't and WONT change who or what I am...I am sorry I am fat and you cant deal with that." And I left my grandparents in a huff. The only reason I gave a damn was because my grandmother was hurt by the exchange. I get in the truck with my sister....and I can admit, I was humiliated and hurt by his words....and she tells me what my aunt said (who lives across the street from grandparents.) Every year, my family and I take a trip to Ocean Sands, where we rent a cottage for the week and hang out. Yeah, great, wooo-hooo. Not. My aunt is obsessive about everything from what we do to when we eat. Well, I got married last year, and given mine and my husbands job, I could either take the family trip to Ocean Sands or take a honeymoon. We opted to spend time with our family. So, she calls me up and says "Lets make this your honeymoon, and you can have the master suite with the whirlpool tub." I am like, okay, that sounds great, thanks. The 2nd day we were there, I got a terrible cold. So I didnt help is preparing any food...I was sick, I didnt need to be coughing and sneezing all over everyones food...I took a nap one afternoon because I couldnt breathe and was having trouble sleeping...I did do the dishes a few times, and I did watch her 3 kids so she could do what she wanted to do. I thought everything was fine....then Saturday, she keeps my sister there to b*tch about how I didnt do anything last year, and if me and my husband thought we were just going to sit on the couch and read magazines and take naps, we were going to piss her off quick.....I LOST IT!!! I was so angry...but too far up the road to turn back, that I calmly had my sister call my mother and tell her that I was through with her entire family picking on me and my husband, and I would not be participating in the family vacation this year. My Mom hit the roof. When I got to her house on Saturday night to have dinner with her and my father, she was on the phone laying my grandfather out. Then, she called my aunt and let her have it, too. I got an apology from my grandfather, but I am still going to be self conscious next week in a bathing suit at the beach...wondering if he's wondering if I should be released back into the ocean. And I will be walking on eggs shells all week wondering if my aunt is keeping track of everything I am NOT doing.
I am so through with it...and my Dad told me not to worry about it that I am not fat, but my self esteem has really taken a beating this past weekend.....but I think my anger is beyond justified.........and the humiliation is definitely a feeling I will wear for a little while longer.....