I think my boyfriend abused my cat while I was away. Need opinions

[mollymellinger]

ChonGo, this is an old comment of yours, but you are on thecatsite.com writing about the intricacies of your cat's behavior. The best this girl saw out of her bf with the cat was giving him tuna occasionally when she was around - if the cat didn't get too close to his gym bag. Does it sound like you and this guy are compatriots in any way? Also, does your cat cry and hide when you knock on the door? This cat's safety is more important than the bf's right to be given "the benefit of the doubt," especially when strong signs don't support it.

 

[lamiatron]

ChonGo, this is an old comment of yours, but you are on thecatsite.com writing about the intricacies of your cat's behavior. The best this girl saw out of her bf with the cat was giving him tuna occasionally when she was around - if the cat didn't get too close to his gym bag. Does it sound like you and this guy are compatriots in any way? Also, does your cat cry and hide when you knock on the door? This cat's safety is more important than the bf's right to be given "the benefit of the doubt," especially when strong signs don't support it.

I know this post has been up for a few days...

and i've been following OP's posts, as well as the many replies.

I just want to share: IMO this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever read.

that's all i want to share for fear that all the many people who replied to this post will rip me to shreds, let alone OP doing it. 

this is a huge tsk tsk tsk moment in my book.  

 

[mollymellinger]

Lamiatron...Huh? My reply was a "tsk tsk moment" for you?

The poster I was replying to sounds like a devoted cat owner, and is objecting to the characterization of a man (bf) who didn't tolerate, and was abusing, his gf's cat. There is no parallel and the focus needs to be on the original poster's situation. That sentiment still sounds pretty reasonable to me.

Your weird aggression is...weird.

 

[lamiatron]

i just realized that i quoted you in my post and i'm sorry i did not mean to! wow! now it seems like i just meant that about your post! i'm sorry for the confusion.

But in my honest opinion, this whole thread was tsk tsk tsk moment for me. I'm entitled to feel that way, because it was my opinion. and i'm not sitting here and saying "omg all of you are wrong" because everything that was posted in response to OP's first post was based off of opinion.  for the most part i feel this way because i see so many people are against the now ex bf because he had allergies to copper and there was "alleged" abuse from him . He can't help his allergies. he can't take a pill and make it go away. It's not that easy for everyone. He can't force himself to love an animal if his body is hating it, and also, just because his body hates Copper doesn't mean he does. 

In neither of the OPs posts did I see any evidence to the fact that her ex bf hit her cat. just that her cat was hurt, the vet confirmed that he was hurt. the vet gave two possible reasons for how it could have happened...and then the bf being dumped...and everyone saying "omg he was an a-hole cus he was allergic, anyways he needs to get over it blah blah blah and he could hit you one day" when to me, i did not see any evidence of abuse either described in OPs posts or other wise.

maybe he wasn't so concerned with the whole situation because he doesn't really care for the cat. And honestly as long as he's not hitting or hurting the animal, he doesn't have to love the cat as much as OP does. For someone who actually showed up to check up on the cats while OP was away, and then be forthcoming about any instance in which he may have hurt the cat in the past (stepped on tail, etc)...for him to all of a sudden not be forthcoming does not seem normative. 

I didn't see any instance of abuse. The cat  could have really just ran into the wall really hard. Its happened to my cat. He'll run into things and act skittish like i've been beating him all day and hide from me and act like a battered animal. I know no one hit him because there is no one else in the house and he's alone. (up until recently because i got a second cat). 

at the end of the day, only OP and her now ex bf knows what really happened. i'm just throwing my 2 cents in. I'm sorry @MollyMellinger  if it seemed like i was disapproving of your particular post. i was not. 

 

[meow31415]

I think he did it! You should not live with him any more! Poor Copper! What happened? Is he okay? 

 

[MoochNNoodles]

 
I think he did it! You should not live with him any more! Poor Copper! What happened? Is he okay? 

Hi and welcome to TCS!

  This thread is over a year old now. It doesn't look like the original poster has been back in a while.  I hope she and Cooper are both doing better now!

 

[heavenskitty]

Oops

 

[graciethedragon]

For a cat to have pooped 3 times, I'd guess he wasn't checked on as frequently as this boy said he did.  My cat only poops once a day.  Too many flags here.  Glad the boy is gone.  Lesson learned.  Just the fact that you would even think him capable of the act is enough for him to need to hit the road. Once a trust has been broken its never the same.  So sorry you and your kitty Cooper went through this.  I like others believe in that feeling in your gut that most women have.  Sad, but glad you are a clear thinker and know that this relationship is not for you.  Hey Cooper might have saved you from a man who has some abusive tendencies.  Good Kitty :-)  Hug him for me and hope he heals physically and mentally.  I wish you well, sounds as if your head is on straight.  Too many women ignore signs. Stay strong !

 

[pangurban]

Ooops, didn't realize it was an old thread. Sorry.

 

[baylorbear223]

Thanks for the well wishes. The ex has been out of my life for well over a year and I couldn't be in a happier place. Copper is doing really well too. Thanks again!

 

[catspaw66]

Thanks for the well wishes. The ex has been out of my life for well over a year and I couldn't be in a happier place. Copper is doing really well too. Thanks again!

So good to hear from you again. And very happy to hear Copper is doing so well. Please post some new pictures of him.

 

[nomorecatabuse]

look him in the eye. if you see a lie you know it was him. don't worry. people lie. i just dont understand y people would abuse animals. and if it wont work just from him make him say it in front of the police. After reading your story i mostly think it was him. she/your cat was scared when she herd the knocking right? well i mostly think it was him cause anything could happen and wasnt he the only one checking on your cat? was he the only other person with the keys to your house?  you know he could have been right for saying HE didnt do it. he could have saw it happen. he could have had a friend over to do it for him. just incase, did you have some camera up at that time? i hope you find out what happend soon. i really hope that your cat is safe and ok. note: next party or time you go out somewhere without your cat and need someone else to check on it, dont trust that person even if there your family. just take the cat with you or to a cat day care. tat will help. sincerly

                                         ~NOMORECATABUSE

 

[angels mommy]

Again, This thread is over a year old.

 

[cathy mac]

Just came to this thread as it's the 2nd headline that came up when I googled about cat abuse. Not going to read the other comments, just going to tell you this:

1. Never, ever leave your pet in your absence with somebody who does not adore your pet as much as or more than you do.

2. Always trust your gut. Nobody steps on cats' paws or tails - at least, never more than once, so something has already been going on before you left cat with bf.

He clearly has abused your cat, more than once, and he will you too if you're still with him. He hates cats - he is not allergic to cats because if he were he would be very, very physically affected in presence of your cat. Even being around you would affect him if you were in presence of cat.

Don't wait to experience any more gut feelings, use wisdom and dump him.


But the subject remains and info can always help others.

 

[Smarie07]

You definitely did the right thing! Abuse is wrong and cruel!