I haven't read all the replies on this thread, just skimmed them. But from just reading your post my recommendation is to see a counselor.
That said, counselors are people and some times you don't fit with the first or sometimes even the second one.
In my case I was lucky and the first one I saw was a perfect fit. In the beginning I went once a week. I went for two and a half years and probably would still go every few months but she changed practices and move away.
Also, in the middle of the two years I changed job also. And more important Chester came into my life.
My point is....listen to the cat people and find a counselor!
That said, counselors are people and some times you don't fit with the first or sometimes even the second one.
In my case I was lucky and the first one I saw was a perfect fit. In the beginning I went once a week. I went for two and a half years and probably would still go every few months but she changed practices and move away.
Also, in the middle of the two years I changed job also. And more important Chester came into my life.
My point is....listen to the cat people and find a counselor!