I Lost My Baby Boy Suddenly Yesterday Morning. I Can't Cope.

[les26]

That is awful, I'm so sorry that happened to Sebastian. I am doing my best to remember the good memories we had on the couch rather than his last moments. I guess you are right that the only thing that will make it better now is time.

Thank you, it was horrible and one of the hardest things that I ever had happen to me in my life and messed me up mentally for awhile, but he is just fine now, I will see him again someday but I kind of see him everyday (and Simon too) when I look at Sylvester who is a perfect blend of those two great boys put together, Sebastian's long black hair and Simon's tuxedo look.

In time it will not bother you, you will remember it but you will control it not the other way around.

 

[Neo_23]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. He was a beautiful young cat.

It is hard to lose one, but harder when it is so sudden. In time, your memories will be sweet and you will remember all the good things and good times. In the meantime, take care of yourself. You mentioned your struggle with depression. Reach out to others who love you and let them hug you and help you. When I lost my soul mate cat, I wrote his life story. I printed it out, included pictures and put it in a folder where I could read it over and over again. I didn't want to ever forget any of his cute antics. Writing it was therapy for me. Thirteen years later, I still get it out from time to time and read it. I am so thankful I wrote it all down as when I read it now, it brings back to my memory things I might have forgotten. I urge you to think of doing this too. It might be just what you need now to help you and down the road, it will be a blessing.

Thank you so much for your idea of a storybook. I spent some time yesterday making a scrapbook of his life and it was therapeutic for me. I’m glad I will have something to keep my memories in.

 

[gareth]

Thank you so much for your idea of a storybook. I spent some time yesterday making a scrapbook of his life and it was therapeutic for me. I’m glad I will have something to keep my memories in.

I did the same thing. I also put a video together of my favourite images. Both played their part in my grieving. The video still tugs at my heart after four years.

 

[Neo_23]

We received his ashes yesterday. I put them up on his favourite windowsill with a view of the bird feeder we put out on the tree for him. Having his ashes here makes me feel like he is home again, although I know he is really gone. He was such a special kitten - he made 3 of my family members who never really liked cats fall in love with him. I miss giving him belly rubs and playing with him. I even miss the times when he would purposefully be mischievous in the mornings just to wake me up. He hated when I would sleep in. He didn't even want food, he just wanted me to be awake and with him. He was irreplaceable and I am thankful for every moment I had to fall in love with him.

 

[cataan]

Heart disease in cats, which causes sudden death, is generally a genetic condition where the cardiac cells slowly turn fibrous -- they lose the ability to function. Over time, the heart doesn't beat as strongly as it should, and blood pools a little in a ventricle as not all of the volume is pushed out with each beat. Over time, this pooling causes a clot to form, and at some point the clot dislodges, travels down the aorta, and gets lodged in an artery, usually at the base in the lower back but sometimes in a leg. This causes blood to back up in the heart and cardiac arrest follows.

Most people become aware of this condition when their cat goes into heart failure -- there really is no way to know whether your cat has the disease unless you want to give him cardiac ultrasounds every 3 months, which would be not only expensive, but also stressful to your cat.

Thus, you didn't fail your kitty nor did you cause his death. It's terrible you had to go through that, and I feel even worse for your kitty. My cat Flash had this disease and received medication to control it, which gave him 16 months, but the progression cannot be stopped. He was euthanized and it took me over a year to stop feeling sad about it -- I miss him and think fondly of the time we had together, but there is no guilt, it was bad luck of the genetic draw and nothing can change that, least of all me. In time you will accept what happened, and knowing you are not responsible will help, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't think often about your kitty and the years you had together. If that makes you teary then that just means you are a kind person who appreciated -- and was appreciated by -- a little fur ball who was your best friend.

 

[Neo_23]

Heart disease in cats, which causes sudden death, is generally a genetic condition where the cardiac cells slowly turn fibrous -- they lose the ability to function. Over time, the heart doesn't beat as strongly as it should, and blood pools a little in a ventricle as not all of the volume is pushed out with each beat. Over time, this pooling causes a clot to form, and at some point the clot dislodges, travels down the aorta, and gets lodged in an artery, usually at the base in the lower back but sometimes in a leg. This causes blood to back up in the heart and cardiac arrest follows.

Most people become aware of this condition when their cat goes into heart failure -- there really is no way to know whether your cat has the disease unless you want to give him cardiac ultrasounds every 3 months, which would be not only expensive, but also stressful to your cat.

Thus, you didn't fail your kitty nor did you cause his death. It's terrible you had to go through that, and I feel even worse for your kitty. My cat Flash had this disease and received medication to control it, which gave him 16 months, but the progression cannot be stopped. He was euthanized and it took me over a year to stop feeling sad about it -- I miss him and think fondly of the time we had together, but there is no guilt, it was bad luck of the genetic draw and nothing can change that, least of all me. In time you will accept what happened, and knowing you are not responsible will help, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't think often about your kitty and the years you had together. If that makes you teary then that just means you are a kind person who appreciated -- and was appreciated by -- a little fur ball who was your best friend.

Thank you so much for your response. It was very comforting to me.

My kitten was also quite sick for the 2 months leading up to his death. He was on antibiotics twice and the doctor thought he had some form of infection. The antibiotics did seem to somewhat help him, only to have the sickness come back again. I wonder now if his sickness was related to his heart problem or if it just exacerbated it.

 

[edie56]

im sorry about neo you didnt fail him i was sort of inn the same boat i lost baby last march she had heart failure she was 16 yrs what saved me was getting tassee last july she has the same markings as baby had but she is totally the oppossit of baby

 

[SnugglesAnn]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Just know that you did everything you could. Even for those of us who have had our babies for longer, sometimes it just gets taken out of our hands. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Antonio65]

You didn't fail him, you were there in the very moment he asked you for help, and you gave him help, you did what everybody else would have done.
Sometimes things do not go as we thought. When kittens are taken so young I always think that they were so sweet, lovely, beautiful and precious that God wanted to have them next to Him, He couldn't just resist.
Up in heaven there must be a wonderful place, inhabitated by the most beautiful kittens of the universe.

RIP Neo, now you are a bright gem among other beautiful jewels.

 

[dragoriana]

I'm sorry for your loss. Such a beautiful kitty, and way too young to go. I won't go into details but our Jasmine died very quickly and well I couldn't tell looking into her eyes if she was still with us (that amongst many other things bothers me), it was on the couch in our last house that I spent hrs saying goodbye after having to carry her home in my arms. She was 2. We moved soon after..and thankfully don't have that couch. I know how it feels when simple things can remind you of sad times. When Charlie went it was the hardest hitting of all of them I think. Even after almost 18 months and a new adoption, I still miss him and still find it hard to look at his photos and never look at his videos. It takes everyone different lengths of time to move on. But moving on doesn't mean forgetting. And certainly don't let anyone tell you that you must accept it...it is too soon for you to have a clear head over losing a loved pet. Let the pain take its natural course, let it all out if it helps. Don't blame yourself for not knowing about heart issues, they are hard to pick up. You gave your kitty the best life while he had it, and looked after his other health issues like a caring owner should. And please, if you feel like your depression is creeping up because of this loss, don't be afraid to ask someone for help or just talk it out so you do not feel alone. Sorry for the ramble.

 

[Neo_23]

Thank you again everyone for your continued support and kind words. It's been very difficult. I often wake up at night crying, and am having a hard time getting through the day. But, I've decided to start volunteering at a local cat shelter. I'm hoping it will be somewhat therapeutic and it will also be a way for me to honour his life.

 

[orange&white]

I think that volunteering at a shelter is a wonderful idea. I was going to suggest it because it has helped me in the past, but wasn't sure if that would help you feel better. I think you will find if therapeutic...you may even sign up as a foster home.

 

[Feral Cat Mom]

Hey! I'm so sorry for your loss. I was going through deep depression and other things a while back. A feral mother brought a litter of kittens to my house and they helped me heal from everything. I tamed them and they became my everything. I lost my best buddy out of litter last spring and I know how heartbreaking it is. My heart goes out to you at this hard time.

 

[di and bob]

Volunteering is the distraction your heart needs. The sadness on losing someone we love so very much needs to be countered with the joy of helping those sweet little ones who need help so desperately. Please try not to dwell on what you have lost, but rather how much you gained by having that sweet boy in your life. Helping cats is the perfect therapy, and it helps us to feel a little better about ourselves. It is a way of honoring your little one's legacy and perpetuating the love he left you. Please keep us posted!

 

[1 bruce 1]

Thank you again everyone for your continued support and kind words. It's been very difficult. I often wake up at night crying, and am having a hard time getting through the day. But, I've decided to start volunteering at a local cat shelter. I'm hoping it will be somewhat therapeutic and it will also be a way for me to honour his life.

This is such a cool, selfless thing to do Really awesome idea and I think you'll be really pleased at how therapeutic it is.
You'll be surrounded by those who care about cats and their individuality and right to live. Even if you know people IRL that "like cats", it's hard to explain it to someone who isn't a "cat person".
I think Neo would be super proud of you. The pain of losing them is sometimes unbearable. We're torn between accepting what happened and fighting it because 9 months is NEVER enough time.
Some of the cats at the shelter had homes once, and people, and now they do not. They'll help you, and you'll help them, as you both understand the feeling of loss and that it's just unfair.
I sincerely hope you enjoy volunteering your time and love. As hard as it is to believe, I think you're dealing with this in a very healthy way.