I have mistaken with my kitty - now she is afraid/angry on me

[rockkitten]

Hi folks, 

Some weeks ago I posted a thread saying we just got a 6 months kitty and we were having difficulties bonding with her. The past week this situation improved incredibly: she now sleeps on our bedroom, lay down on the rug when we are watching tv and even seek for lap.

However the situation reverted yesterday: in the morning I was feeding her and she bite me (probably because she thought me finger was food) to a point to make me bleed. I couldn't help and totally by reflex I slapped her with the back of my hand. I know this was very wrong, but I was totally reflex and an unthought situation, I kept thinking about this and regretting all day long.

She stayed a bit away from us all day long, hiding mostly however from time to time she came to play and eat.

However the situation got worst at night: we were preparing to sleep and she was hidden behind our couch. My wife was not aware of that and pushed the couch to its correct position and pressed here between the couch and the wall. The little kitty screamed but was able to break free and went to hide under the stove. I went immediately to see if she got hurt however she was very aggressive and didn't let me pick her up. After a couple of hours she was calmer and I was able to pick her up and check that fortunately she had no bruises .

Our vet asked to keep her under observation and in case of an uncommon situation we shall take her for a radiography. 

I let her be for the rest of the night to check how she would behave today. She is very away, observing us not coming very close (unless for food). I tried to take her in a moment she was hidden under the bed however she made that 'angry noises' with the ears back trying to bit and scratch me.

I am starting to think her problem is exclusively with me: she slept under my daughters bed and in the morning she was on her feet. Now she is playing near my wife on our bedroom while I am on the living room. 

As I said: she only comes near me when it comes to food. For this reason I am trying to re-bond with her by giving her some treats once she does not come near me on other situations and doesn't let me come near her.

My question is: do you guys think is there any hope to gain her trust again? Would it be better to find her a new family to avoiding stressing her with my presence?

Once more: I know I was wrong and I deeply regret that. She was my little companion during these weeks once I was the  one she attached the most, for this reason I care i lot for her and I am so sad about this situation.

If the best for her is another family, I'll do that. 

 

[talkingpeanut]

How were you feeding her? It might be best not to let her eat out of your hand.

And how hard did you hit her? I am wondering if she could be injured even if you can't see it.

 

[eck1kaylie]

Obviously you know that it was wrong to hit her, and it seems that you feel terribly about it. Accidents happen even to the best of us, and we do things reflexively that we don't mean to. One of my parents cats used to be terrified of my dad's shoes because he got kicked accidentally.
It might take a while to earn back her trust, but I do think it's possible. Just be very patient, and take it slow. Keep giving her treats. Try sitting on the floor and just talking softly to her. Don't try to touch her until she's ready. She'll come to you once she realizes that it's safe to do so.
Good luck!

 

[Columbine]

There's definitely hope to regain her trust - it may just take a while. Stay calm and patient with her. I'm sure she'll come round in time. Cats can be very forgiving creatures.

Maybe try feeding her from a spoon instead of your fingers in future - you can gradually move your hand right up to the bowl of the spoon, but not actually having the food on your skin should prevent any more accidents.

Now you have a kitten in the house, you ALL need to get onto the habit of checking behind things before moving them...and in drawers, cupboards etc before shutting them for that matter

Accidents happen despite our best intentions. The best thing to do is accept the past, and carry on as though nothing had happened. No real harm's been done. I'm sure you'll regain your close relationship soon [article="32758"][/article][article="32735"][/article]

 

[rockkitten]

Not very hard. I slapped her with the back of my hand down side up and just enough to make her move a little.

I was giving her some treats as I always do when I wake up: sitting on the ground letting her eat from my hands.

I was more worried with the couch situation on her being hurt, but the vet said that if she is eating normally and playing we should not worry. 

 

[pusheen]

My sister once stepped on our cat's foot in the kitchen. She was getting his dinner, and he crept up behind her and she didn't notice. He wasn't injured, but it obviously hurt him, as these things do. She apologized to him immediately, fed him, pet him, and he was all good. But now he never stands in the kitchen with her during dinner time. Never. If she's the one putting his food out, he will observe from a spot in the living room, a safe distance away.

So my point is, just because it was an accident doesn't mean your cat won't take steps to make sure it never happens again. You're going to have to do some work to regain her trust--and this means being careful not to hurt her again while she is still wary of you.

 

[rockkitten]

Thanks guys. 

Today she woke up more 'relaxed'.

During the morning, she let me pet her while she was sleeping, came near me while I was serving food for her and while I was eating lunch and even slept on the rug (she does not enter the living room since the couch incident), followed me around the house (with certain distance).  

After I gave her lunch she had some strange attitude: she came really close to me while I was sit on the couch staring at me with an inquisitor eyes. When I moved to a position she could not see me, she also moved to keep staring, until she found a spot behind the curtain and stayed like that until sleep:

IMG_1642.JPG

• rockkitten
• Jan 15, 2016

I thought it was really weird once she was literally stalking me.

However during the afternoon seems she went back to the 'afraid' behavior: not coming much close to me, she basically stays 1,5ft away sometimes staring me, when I tried to pet her while she was laid on her bed she made that angry noise with the ears down. Maybe this will come and go until she re-gain the trust in me.

Next week I am going travel for business so I hope when I come back she forgot about what happened. 

Thanks again folks! I am certainly following your tips.

 

[Columbine]

What a cutie! :love:

I think it's a great sign that she's following you around the house - to me that says she WANTS to be friends again, but is just a little unsure. Stay patient, don't rush her, and you should have your old closeness back before too long

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Sounds as if she is watching you very closely, wanting to make sure you aren't going to do anything scary to her again before she's ready to trust.  As everyone has said, patience is the main thing with her.  It takes time for them to learn that you didn't mean to hurt them, and she may always be a little skittish in some (not all)  situations.  Let her take her time learning to trust you again.  It's way, way too early to worry about finding a new home for her.

By the way, she is a beautiful little girl. 

 

[artiemom]

she is really cute in that picture~ peeking out from behind the curtain!

I thinks he is just watching to see how you react to her. I would continue to give her treats, but put them one at a time on the floor. She is just very cautious of you. Again try playing with a string toy; and feed her, talking in a soft, quiet voice; as you would with a newborn baby. 

She will come around; it takes a long time for some cats. Right now she is scared. Getting caught behind the couch really scared her. Having any cat is a challenge. You always have to know where they are; kittens are much worse because they are tiny and get into everything. One time I locked Artie in the closet all day while I was at work! That was for over 10 hours!  I felt terrible!

I did not know he snuck in there.

I did not know he was there until I came home, and he was not greeting me..

I looked all over for him, until I heard his meow...

Boy, did I get an earful from him...no damage done, poor baby did not even pee or poop in there..

Now I am in the habit of knowing where he is before I leave the house. 

If she loves your daughter, then I would not upset her more, by re-homing her.

When you go away on your business trip, do not be shocked to see that you have to start all over from the beginning with her. She may think of you as a stranger. 

Good Luck  take it slow with her and do not worry. She can probably sense your anxiety. That could be making it worse.

 

[zed xyzed]

What a beautiful kitten, you got some great advice here. Let us know how things are progressing. Btw play is a great distraction for kittens. Do you have a laser pointer? It is great because you can play from a distance.   

 

[donutte]

What a cutie pie! She's absolutely adorable!

What a beautiful kitten, you got some great advice here. Let us know how things are progressing. Btw play is a great distraction for kittens. Do you have a laser pointer? It is great because you can play from a distance.   

YES! I agree about the playing, that may help quite a bit also. Or even something dangling like a toy on a string (the one most people have is Da Bird I think, but I have something similar except it's a fishbone, and this cat dancer thing). Anyway, it also helped me with two cats that just didn't get along with each other. After jumping together and falling on each other, they were great buds.

And I never even give treats by hand. I put them on the floor because those guys are ready to attack the treats! God forbid my hand be in the way. I've already been bitten really hard by a cat I was trying to give medicine to, so wouldn't want to relive that any time soon. I understand the reflex though, I quite literally had to force myself to step back. This kitty was in end-stage renal failure and I love him more than anything else in the world, and the last thing I would have wanted to do is slap him. I do think I may have screamed because he knew something was wrong, and I knew he felt bad afterwards.