I feel like I'm gonna die

[vettechstudent]

One of my outside kitties got ran over a little bit ago.Please don't bash me for having him outside.He came here as a stray when we first moved here and didn't like to stay in all the time.I let him in when he wanted in and if I didn't let him out when he wanted he would tear the blinds up trying to get out.I live on a dead end road and don't really have that many neighbor's.
Anyway,one of my neighbors called me almost an hour ago and said she hated to tell me this,but there was a cat laying in the road.I KNEW when she said this that it had to be my "Tom Kitty" because the other 2 outside cats had came in when I got home earlier.I had her go with me and sure enough there was my baby laying in the road dead.He was such a good cat.Everyone just loved him and he was such a friendly kitty.I just cannot believe this has happened.I feel my heart is crumbling inside.I cannot quit crying.I keep sitting here thinking about his fat butt playing with some balls I had bought for the kitties.He would go into the kitchen and dining room and play forever.He was so fat and he looked so cute when he played.
I don't know what I'm going to do with him.I guess I will see about having him creamated tomorrow because the ground here is froze so there is NO way anyone is going to be digging a hole in this yard.
Now I'm afraid to let the other 2 cats back out.One is actually another neighbor's cat and he goes nuts when he wants out,too.The other one is my semi-feral that has just now started to come inside.She loved him so much and I'm afraid she will get run over or run off trying to find him.I guess she will just have to learn to be an inside kitty from now on,but I don't know what I will do about the neighbor cat because he tears my blinds up bad trying to get in the window when he wants out.

I know the neighbor's down from me probably ran over him.They fly down that road beside me(I have another one in front of me and both are dead ends.)I hardly ever saw him coming from the road beside me,but tonight he was over there for some reason.They drove by when me and my neighbor were standing outside and I screamed at them to "SLOW THE F*** DOWN!!!!!"
They could have at least came and told me that they hit him so I could have tried to take him to the vet.He got bumped in the head because he wasn't squished.It would have costed me an arm and a leg to call a vet after hours,but I would have came up with the money somehow.
Thanks for listening.

 

[mom of 10 cats]

((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so so sorry for your loss.

 

[vettechstudent]

Thanks.
I already miss him soooo bad.He would have been in here right now with me probably batting his ball across the floor.

 

[hissy]

Most of the time, they never know what hit them, and the drivers never see them. My vet told me that they black out about 3 seconds before impact (how he knows that I have no idea) I know it brings little comfort and doesn't bring your kitten back. I am so sorry for your loss and hope over time you will begin to heal and not hurt so much. Working with strays and ferals it is always a risk because they like to travel such a great distance. You will meet again-

 

[vettechstudent]

Thanks Hissy.I hope your vet is right.
This Christmas was already going to be hard because we lost Mike's grandmother to a horrible accident in April and this will be our first Christmas without her,plus the guy that killed her,his court date is tomorrow on top of everything else.We haven't got much money to spend on our child this year either so I already knew this wasn't going to be a good Christmas and now this.
This is the first cat(except for the poor feral kitten I had for a couple of weeks about a year or so ago)that I have lost in a very long time and I forgot how bad it hurts.That's the only problem with loving something so much,it hurts like hell when you lose it.


I just took pictures of him yesterday in here crashing out on my floor.I plan on getting them on disk so I can share him with everyone.

 

[purrfectcatlove]

I am so sorry of your loss , may he RIP ((((((HUGS))))))


I also have 5 outside cats Vettech and I live in a dead end too . So I know how you must feel . 3 of them would tear up my house if they would have to stay inside . My heart is going out to you

 

[vettechstudent]

Thanks.
He was fine inside for a little while then he would want back outside.The thing is where it has been getting so cold he hd stayed in a lot more lately and I had been keeping him inside at night(In a cage of course when I went to bed to keep him from trying to tear something up to get out or one of my hateful cats deciding to try to slap on him)

I was just laughing at him earlier today.I park my truck right next to the house and I had my blinds up and he was laying on the hood of my truck.I told Mike to look at him and we both were standing here laughing at him.
I called Mike to tell him and he is pretty upset.He was like"You know I loved him as much as you did don't you?"I know he loved him.He was laying on the couch last night and "Tom Kitty" actually jumped up there with him and was batting at Mike's feet.Mike was laughing at him because he normally never jumped on the couch and never had he batted at our feet.
I am still in so much shock and disbelief that he is really gone and is never gonna greet me coming home ever again.
He always followed me around the yard like a dog when I was out there.

 

[valanhb]

I'm so sorry. It's always hard to lose something you love so deeply. Tom-Cat knew you loved him and he certainly had a much better life because of you and Mike. Cherish those wonderful memories you have of him, he's watching from the Bridge now, safe and playing with balls.

 

[princess purr]

i'm so sorry for your loss

it is not your fault, and they do come back to you. Some faster then others, but you will meet again.

 

[vettechstudent]

Originally posted by valanhb
I'm so sorry. It's always hard to lose something you love so deeply. Tom-Cat knew you loved him and he certainly had a much better life because of you and Mike. Cherish those wonderful memories you have of him, he's watching from the Bridge now, safe and playing with balls.

Yeah it is sooo hard.I told my mom last night what I said about how one problem with loving something so much is how much it hurts when you lose it.

She told me yeah,but I would much rather have it in my heart to love and care about something knowing you may lose it than to be so cold hearted that you can't love and care about something.
I know this is true,but sometimes,just sometimes,I wish I didn't care so much because then it wouldn't hurt so bad.
He was certainly loved here at my house and very well taken care of.

 

[vettechstudent]

Originally posted by Princess Purr
i'm so sorry for your loss

it is not your fault, and they do come back to you. Some faster then others, but you will meet again.

I hope I am so blessed.

He was such a wonderful cat.Never bothered anything.

 

[vettechstudent]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I buried "Tom Kitty" I called about the cremation and they wanted $45 to do it.So when I got home from taking my other cat to the vet I started digging a hole.The ground was not froze,it was actually not very cold today.The ground was pretty moist from all the snow so it wasn't too hard to dig.I was close to getting done digging and my neighbor pulled into his driveway(his wife was the one that called me last night and told me).He came over and finished digging the hole for me and covered him up.Covering him up was what I dreaded so bad,so I'm glad I didn't have to do it.
I am so thankful for these neighbor's.They are great people and I really hope they know how much I appreciated them calling me and helping me dig.I did tell them I really appreciated them and I am going to try to get them a Christmas card fixed tonight to give them.

 

[russian blue]

It's always hard to lose a loved one. I'm sorry for the loss, and the timing of the event. It seems to be even more tragic when it happens around Christmas.

He'll be greeted at the bridge by all the RB kitties including my cat 'Kissa' who I had for 23 years.

RIP little one.

 

[shell]

I'm so sorry Sweetie! May time heal your wounds...
((((((((HUGS))))))))

 

[rang_27]

I'm sorry for your loss. As I read your post it brought tears to my eyes as I just lost my baby girl Smokey in September, I wish I had some magic words to lessen your pain, but there are none. Only time, but when your feeling down never hesitate to post here I've found everyone here is very understanding.

 

[subee]

Reading this thread has made me cry. You are all so loving. I am proud to be a member of this site. I will say a prayer for you tonight.
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

 

[mzjazz2u]

I'm so sorry about your kitty. My thoughts are with you.

I had a cat before I had any of my persians who disapeared one day. He was already used to being outside before I got him too. So there was no way I could keep him in. Now I have a fit if anyone holds the door open for even a second! The cats I have now have no choice but to be inside cats.

 

[amberthe bobcat]

I am so sorry for your loss

Try to think about the good times you had with this kitty and know that without you, that poor baby may have never known he was loved, since he was a stray. Is there any way you can put the others out on a harness so this doesn't happen again? RIP Tom Kitty

 

[vettechstudent]

Originally posted by AmberThe Bobcat
I am so sorry for your loss

Try to think about the good times you had with this kitty and know that without you, that poor baby may have never known he was loved, since he was a stray. Is there any way you can put the others out on a harness so this doesn't happen again? RIP Tom Kitty

The only others that are outside is my neighbor's cat(that thinks he lives here)and my semi feral kitty.I have been keeping my neighbor's cat in as much as I can until he starts trying to tear my blinds down.
My semi feral hasn't been allowed to go out since.She is actually doing pretty well in here.She has been meowing a lot today like she wants out though.She does try to get out the door when it gets opened,but I shoo her away.She loved Tom Kitty sooooo good and he is a lot of the reason I was able to catch her.
I have one inside cat that is allowed to go out,but ONLY when I am right there with him.The other inside cats do not go out at all.

 

[vettechstudent]

Originally posted by mzjazz2u
I'm so sorry about your kitty. My thoughts are with you.

I had a cat before I had any of my persians who disapeared one day. He was already used to being outside before I got him too. So there was no way I could keep him in. Now I have a fit if anyone holds the door open for even a second! The cats I have now have no choice but to be inside cats.

Yeah I have had people come to my house and they will just leave the door standing wide open while the other person is taking forever to get to the door.I get upset and start screaming at them to shut the door because I have cats!!

I'm sorry for your loss. As I read your post it brought tears to my eyes as I just lost my baby girl Smokey in September, I wish I had some magic words to lessen your pain, but there are none. Only time, but when your feeling down never hesitate to post here I've found everyone here is very understanding.

Yeah I have read about your kitty in your posts.I have

more than once on your posts about her.She was a very beautiful cat.

Reading this thread has made me cry. You are all so loving. I am proud to be a member of this site. I will say a prayer for you tonight.

I am glad I found this site as well.I know that most of you know how I'm feeling right now and don't think I'm crazy for feeling this way.I know most of my family would think I'm just plain stupid for being this depressed over a cat.So I'm glad that I have found people that can relate and not think I'm nuts.

It's always hard to lose a loved one. I'm sorry for the loss, and the timing of the event. It seems to be even more tragic when it happens around Christmas.He'll be greeted at the bridge by all the RB kitties including my cat 'Kissa' who I had for 23 years.

23 years is a long time to have a cat.I know you must have been devastated when she passed.

I'm so sorry Sweetie! May time heal your wounds...

Thank you