I feel alone.

[miraramsay2012]

I am 21, physically disabled, and living with my mom and sister. They both don't like me being here: sister says when I go places when them, she doesn't enjoy herself. Mom says all she hears me do is complain and she doesn't know what to do about it. If they are playing a board game, and I ask to join, my sister will just leave.

I keep to myself most of the time. I don't think I'm annoying so I don't understand why they don't like me here. I admit, I do complain a bit because I'm in a lot of pain, and my cat just had knee surgery so I have to watch her all day and it makes the stress/pain worse. I actually don't complain much since my mom said that's all she hears me do. 

Two years ago I was put on a drug called Lyrica and suffered bad side effects - the seratonin levels in my brain were compromised (rare effect called seratonin syndrome) and ever since, I have been very depressed and anxious. 

I know that they would rather me live somewhere else, but I don't have any other options. My mom and I are paying all the bills 50/50. I hope that at the end of this lease I might be able to live alone.

I don't feel love from anyone in my family, but I do feel that my cats love me. I think that's why I care so much about them and try to "humanize" them by talking to them and watching tv with them and stuff. It just gets overwhelming sometimes.

 

[natalia]

 

I’m sorry about your current situation. I also talk to my cats all the time when I’m feeling lonely or stressed out- they really do seem to listen and comfort us. Are your kitties the little fur-balls in your avatar? They are adorable.

You can also always talk to us here on TCS. We’d love to hear any and all stories about your cats, whether it’s how they became yours (or how you became theirs), or just any daily happenings around the house. We do appreciate babbles (there’s a babbling contest currently open here!), photos, and cat talk in general.

Best wishes and happy Valentine's Day.

Natalia

 

[catwoman707]

It's always sad to know that people like myself are out there, and I'm sorry for how you feel unwanted and so alone.

I'm assuming your sister is younger than you, it sounds like she has some growing up to do.

We always think that our family are the ones who we can count on in life, no matter what, when the sh## comes down, we supposedly have our family, they will always be there.

Well, it's not that way for me either, and I used to long for that feeling, but now I'm in my 50's, and I guess at some point I just realized that this wasn't my life. It's not going to be an easy one, I only recently discovered that all those sad feelings, day in and day out during my childhood was not me being overly sensitive, it was depression, but kids just don't know it, and can't possibly tell their mom, mom I always feel depressed. You just go with it, hating life, etc.

But all these years later, in and out of depression still, that lasts for years, I understand now that it was part of my health issues, I am a DES daughter.

Who knew? I mean I knew about that, but I had no clue and obviously my mom didn't either, that it was one of the effects.

Anyway, not sure why I just babbled about all that, but what you need is a social life for one. Whether it's in person or online, you can truly make some great friends, share things, feel comfort, and so on.

You also need to eventually move out on your own, by yourself.

I'm not sure what your disability is about, or how limited you are, but no matter, wheelchair, whatever, you can be on your own and be happier. You can fix up your own place any way you want, have pets, have your own life, and put some space between the negatives that bring you down and make you feel like you are.

Big hugs.