How do you release your rage and frustration?

[rapunzel47]

Carol, I'm very late to this thread, and very relieved to hear you sounding calmer and identifying strategies. I have nothing to add to the good advice you have already received, but I have lots of

for you, and that you soon find the help you need to get through this tough time.

 

[kittkatt]

Carol, I am so relieved to hear that you're okay! I am just now getting around to reading this too myself...

I don't have any advice to offer that the others haven't already mentioned. A good therapist and regulated meds sounds like a good idea, and it sounds as if you're taking control of things and headed in the right direction. That's good to hear.

When I was involved in an abusive relationship several years ago which nearly destroyed me, I released my rage & frustrations by writing everything out. It was very therapeutic for me to be able to vent in that way. Talking to friends & family helped a lot, too. I also tried to keep my mind occupied, by keeping myself as busy as possible. And a long, good cry now & then didn't hurt any, either.

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all of this.

I wish I had a magic pill that could take all your sorrows away. You're a very special person, and I think you'll find the strength to arise above all the heartache.

God will be with you..

~KK~

 

[trouts mom]

I'm late to this thread as well. Carol, many

for you..you are a strong woman and I believe you will find the help you need to get through.

 

[butzie]

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

No matter what I do from now on, I will be dealing with intolerable levels of rage, heartbreak, and loneliness for the foreseeable future. Tonight I'm dealing with it by taking an overdose of my mother's Xanax, but I know that's not right. I'd like drive 90mph into a bridge abutment, but thanks to the Xanax, I'm not quite crazy enough for that.

Carol, those words tell me that you may be considering suicide (running into the abutment). Please get help. When you feel those thoughts, we are here for you on TCS but we cannot help you immediately. Please if you have any other thoughts like this, call the suicide hotline. They can refer you to services.

You know that none of us are being judgmental and we will always be here for you, but, please get some help locally.

I would not rule out meds. Anti-depressants are very helpful for a number of persons.

Lastly, please don't "self medicate" with anybody's else's drugs or with alcohol, which is a depressant.

PM me anytime, I mean anytime, you feel this way. We all love you, Carol.

Rosemary

 

[dina]

Glad to see your ok.... many hugs your way hun and please feel free if you need anything.

 

[calico2222]

Carol I'm just seeing this too

. I'm so sorry you are going though this. Family fights are the worst because they hurt everyone involved and can possibly damage the entire structure of family. DH has been dealing with a family feud started by my SIL, and my mother-in-law hasn't seen her grandkids since the day before mother's day last year. It is so sad.

Your last few posts sound like you are headed in the right direction though. Definitely see a doctor (especially about your hand!), and find someone to talk to. Having an uninvolved third party you can vent to helps alot, and they can try to put things into perspective if needed because it really doesn't affect them.

What I find myself doing a lot when I'm upset or stressed is talking to myself. On purpose.

Of course, I do it when I'm home alone, or in my car, and I have conversations, yelling matches, whatever with the person that I'm upset with. I yell, scream, call them every name in the book (imagining their replies), and tell them exactly what I think of them. Sometimes, it goes on for quite a while, but it does calm me down. I get a lot of the anger out (even if they don't hear it) and it makes me feel better. After that, I can deal with the situation better.

Honey, I hope things get straightened out soon. And I hope you can find someone to help you. Like someone said, you don't have to do this on your own.

.

 

[carolpetunia]

I'm so embarrassed to have flipped out this way. I know you will tell me not to be, and I know that's sincere and I appreciate it so much, but I do apologize nonetheless.

There are indeed sliding-scale services available from various government and social and religious organizations, and I promise I will pursue that. I would have today, but the Xanax is still in my system, I guess -- I've been barely able to function all day. It's easing up now, though.

So tomorrow, after I take care of some VA and life insurance stuff I have to get notarized and mailed out, I will drive up to McKinney and see if the county health organization there can help me... or maybe all of us.

I no longer think anything is broken in my hand -- there are no sharp points anymore, just general pain and swelling and stiffness, like a bad sprain. So I think it's only my head that needs to be examined.

The hardest thing about this is finally admitting to you where all these troubles have been coming from. I love my brother! You would, too -- he's charming, funny, brilliant, handsome, incredibly talented... and to people outside the family, he can be so kind. It's only within the family that he behaves this way. He thinks he's punishing me for being such a loser and a leech (his words). I've never been able to make him see that he's punishing his parents too, and his son, who (in spite of Noel's best efforts) loves his grandparents and his aunt.

Family therapy is the only thing I can think of to do, if Mom can persuade him to do it. Until that happens, I just can't see my brother. He's been in the habit of calling me most evenings, unloading about whatever has annoyed him during the day, bragging about his successes, telling jokes, talking politics... as a friend, I'm acceptable to him, apparently. It's just when he's with the family and views me as his sister that he remembers how contemptible I am.

So all I can think of to do is not be around him anymore. Which means not seeing my nephew, either.

So anyway... right now, Xanax (in smaller, more appropriate doses!) is the only way I know to keep from melting down again. But I'll look for a better answer tomorrow, I promise.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your guidance and concern.

 

[dina]

I am so happy to read that therapy is something you are considering. I wish you all the luck!!!! I am sorry to read about your bother. i am sure things will work out for you and your family

Best of luck

 

[kittkatt]

You don't need to apologize to any of us, Carol.

I'm sure that just about all of us have been in a situation like yours at one time or another..

Calico made a good point about yelling & screaming at the person you're angry at - even if they don't hear you. I cussed out the ex-abuser on more than one occasion myself during AND after the relationship - and it did help relieve some of the stress & tension. I'll bet his ears were burning something fierce more than once.

I know you'll get through this.

We're here for you.

Tiff

 

[ldg]

Carol, I don't really understand what goes on between you and your brother - but this SO sounds like a situation for family therapy. I reallly hope your mom talks him into it, because your nephew missing out on his WONDERFUL Aunt (you know - the one that is his father's FRIEND) would be such a shame.

And that's part of the beauty of TCS. We have big shoulders - and lots of them. It's a perfect place to vent.

Laurie

 

[lunasmom]

Carol -

I'm really happy to see that you're going to seek the help that you need.

My ways of dealing with rage started with kickboxing several years ago...I'm not talking the Billy Banks' Tae Boe stuff...I'm talking about hitting a physical punching bag. Just whaling on a physical non-human object brought great mental therapy and clearness in my head.

However my anger was different than yours is now. However releasing it physically (without hurting anyone or animal

) can be something to look into. Nowadays I'm reduced to cussing at the arcade games in TCS...

Hang in there and do remember you're an important person.

 

[carolpetunia]

Originally Posted by lunasmom

...I'm talking about hitting a physical punching bag. Just whaling on a physical non-human object brought great mental therapy and clearness in my head...

I don't have a punching bag, but oh, the punches I've slammed into our sofa pillows!

Unfortunately, I have to swing lefthanded right now, which isn't quite so satisfying...

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

I don't have a punching bag, but oh, the punches I've slammed into our sofa pillows!

Unfortunately, I have to swing lefthanded right now, which isn't quite so satisfying...

someone else posted about buying cheap dishes at the dollar store & taking them outside to a hard surface & breaking them!
probably easier to do lefthanded than punching, too!

 

[luvmy2cats]

Originally Posted by laureen227

someone else posted about buying cheap dishes at the dollar store & taking them outside to a hard surface & breaking them!
probably easier to do lefthanded than punching, too!

Oooh, I like that idea.

 

[green bunny]

Sorry, I'm just now seeing this thread. While I don't know exactly your particular situation, from what you've described here it sounds very similar to my relationship with my sister, and the situation I went through.

I, too, had extreme rage, heartbreak, and loneliness, for about 5 months. I was in physical pain which manifested because of the mental and emotional pain. My sister had called me "a burden" and "crazy" countless times. I don't know if suicide had actually crossed you mind, but it sure did cross mine, and pretty much the only reason I never went though with it was because I knew Loki and Possum needed me.

January 1st, I began taking an anti-depressant, and began to be able to cope. I was not "paralysed" anymore, I was not sick anymore, and my all-consuming rage went away. I feel so much better now, and if you need medication right now in order to cope with everything, it's okay to take it.

I hope you find the help and counseling you want and/or need. It's just awful to have to carry all those feelings around with you everyday, but it can be helped.

Good luck!

Tricia

 

[kluchetta]

Originally Posted by LDG

Carol, I don't really understand what goes on between you and your brother - but this SO sounds like a situation for family therapy. I reallly hope your mom talks him into it, because your nephew missing out on his WONDERFUL Aunt (you know - the one that is his father's FRIEND) would be such a shame.

And that's part of the beauty of TCS. We have big shoulders - and lots of them. It's a perfect place to vent.

Laurie

Yeah That!

Keep all the emails and phone numbers I'm sure you were PMd. Even if you don't need them, just looking at your support group should help!

 

[duchess15]

Carol....

I know exactly how you feel. My mother was a pillar of strength and now, there is nothing. I am so angry because the doctors did not do enough soon enough. She did not deserve to suffer the way she did or die so soon.

I'm sure that at one point or another I will not know what to do anymore. Right now I'm trying to keep everyone else together and I know that one day it will wear me out. I know that my mom would have wanted me to go on and live life to the fullest. I will need some suggestions also so I can't help you here.

 

[cococat]

You have a lot of support on here!!!! You are a great person, I have seen your spirit come out in your posts during the time I have been here and they have touched and helped many. You need someone to talk to about these hard and complex matters. Please seek out professional help, that is why they are there and were trained and went to school, to help others. That is what they love to do so I hope you connect with them. Take care of yourself

Another thing, I know a person that grew up with their mother telling them an aunt was a bad person, but as the person grew up and was able to think for themselves, they understood the aunt was nothing of the sort, the aunt and that person became really good friends and still are to this day.

 

[theimp98]

best way i know of to burn off the anger and stress.

 

[kaylacat]

I am just now reading this thread. I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now.

One way I let out my anger for people is... to write them a letter, telling them all my feelings. I don't actually send it to them, I rip it up into a million peices but it helps to just get the feelings out.

Another thing is: punching a pillow or screaming into it.

I saw this thing on a show about people with anger management issues where they had the person put a plate in a pillow case then take it outside and smash it with a hammer..they said it helped. I bet it would feel really good to do when you are really upset too.

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me any time. I am usually up all night and I would be glad to give ya a shoulder.

Please do get some help though. My antidepressants have made a big difference for me (along with my anti anxiety meds).