How do you accept?

[angelinacat]

Be watchful and aware if your cat looks at you with an unusually loving and beautiful expression,  Especially if that cat is an older one.  He/she may be trying to send you a loving message before they pass.

My dearest daughter, Angelina, gave me several of these looks before she was killed.  I was fortunate enough that when we left for our trip, I called her to me and held her, and told her 'Goodbye; be a good Girl, and watch over the house for us.'  Angelina agaian gave me that beautiful look.  I cannot describe it, nor did I have the sense to try to photograph.

The next thing I knew, Angelina was dead.

I actually think that Angelina may have sacrificed herself in order to save the household from a far greater disaster that she may have sensed, and we did not.

I am sorry.  That is all I can say right now...  Thank you for your patience with me...

 

[angels4mom]

How did your girl die?

 

[angelinacat]

Oh dear....

As best as I can get the scant details--we were away from home--and we had our God-daughter and her friend home.  They were supposed to be trimming the trees around our house.  She has a Yorkshire Terrier/Pug mix, and a neighbor had a pit-bull.  P the GD, had been egging her little pug/york mix to chase the chickens and the cats.  This little dog is the ALPHA dog of the place.  So the neighbor's pit learned from this.

Here is where I am not sure what happened:  either Angelina was simply nearby, or (and I think this more likely) she was playing and ran too near that f***** dog.  (She was always highly flea allergic.  We had just found a medicine that helped her situation, and she was starting to play and run around like a kitten, even though she was ten years old.

Anyway, Angelina went too near this pit-bull, and he snatched her and held her and shook her once before he let her go.

P and E, the dog's owner took her to my vet.  W/O me there, the vet could not do much.  There were many internal injuries, and her spine probably broken.  I have been told that the cat was given pain meds, and that E had to wake her up to give her her medicine (morphine).  Supposedly, P and E took her back to the vet the next day and the vet put her down.  I have also been told that she died w/o being taken back to the vet.

Had I known, we would have left where we were right then.  It would not have made a difference, because it takes a two day drive from home to where we were.  There was nothing we could do, so my husband chose to keep this from me for almost two weeks, so he would not ruin my vacation.  I commend him for this, but, it is also still hurtful.  He cried as he told me the last day before we went home.  And he cried as he told me all of what he knew about the situation.

It seems sick that I had almost two weeks of a wonderful vacation to go (and get my head screwed on straight!) [Boy, THAT got undone VERY fast!!!]

I do not know what to believe, and there are some parts of this I would rather not consider, because I can become really hateful and ugly.  So I have not really talked about this.

There is a wonderful story about Angelina and her predecessor, Angel, but I am not quite ready to share this yet.

In that I have told this story now, I am healing a bit, and it will come by an by.

Alrightee, this is about all that I can say on this subject right now.

Thank you Everyone for putting up with me!

 

[angels4mom]

He just got into mischief a lot. My older cat does seem more affectionate now.

 

[angels4mom]

Oh my gosh. That's horrible. I saw a dog do that to a neighborhood cat once. One reason why mine are indoors.

 

[di and bob]

 12 years ago, when my Burt still had his twin brother Ernie and they were a year old, the neighbor's pit bull mix killed Ernie. I had already called the sheriff numerous times on the aggressiveness of the dog and was told to shoot him if he came on my property. If I would have only known, I know I could shoot him now.  Contacting his owner did absolutely no good, he refused to pen the dog up. And why should my cat not be safe in his own yard? He tore up 2 neighborhood dogs, chased and bit joggers, and tried to bite another neighbor's grandchild. Finally in the middle of the night we heard a shotgun go off and no more dog. I know the agony you are going through, the guilt, and the pain. There are a lot of 'what if's' that will plague forever. But just remember, it was a horrible accident, you would NEVER hurt your sweet baby. You will feel anger, I know I still do even after 12 years, and yes, it's not fair or just, but it happened and there is nothing we can do about it. It's good to post on this site with people who understand and sympathize,you need to express your grief and to say goodbye. I wish I could make it better, but all I can do is say I am so very sorry you have to go through this and please know we'll all help in any way we can. Someone told me once: TEARS ARE PRAYERS TOO, THEY TRAVEL TO GOD WHEN WE CAN'T SPEAK. Please take care of yourself, I'll pray for your little Angelina.

 

[random gemini]

It's a wound that never heals, but I find that I am eventually able to get closure, by doing some sort of something to help me commemorate the life that I spent with my pets. After our first family pet died, my daughter and I went to a paint your own pottery place and made a dog bowl together in his honor. I've also done cross stitch and shadow boxes with photos and collars and trinkets inside. All of these things help, I think it's because I feel like I'm taking control of my feelings and I'm channeling that energy into physical activity, so it makes the whole thing real for me. I don't know really... I just know that it works for me. 

For everyone, it's different. Take a look at the suggestions here, try a couple of things. Maybe one of them will work for you. 

You will never stop hurting though. One day, it will just get easier to carry the hurt with you. 

 

[angels4mom]

I have a scrapbook of my cats. A nice one. I'm working on putting Cocoa in it.

 

[angelinacat]

I am looking for pictures of my Doll-Baby from 2003 onward.  I am amazed that I am not finding them.  We may have purged many files years ago...

 

[angels4mom]

I hope you find them. If you have photos on your phone some drug stores have a machine you can get paper prints done on with a USB that comes with iPhones and some others. It may work with a computer too. Walgreens has this service. Go onto their site. Cocoa's name is spelled like chocolate. I'm going to do a page with mocha brown scrap paper and his name with stickers. I want to do another one with a red glitter piece and foam hearts too.

 

[pangurban]

It has almost been 10 years since Venus passed. I had been given her as a small child in elementary school and was about to graduate college when she died. We had literally grown up together and I couldn't imagine life without her. How could I sleep without her on my chest at night? How could I end my day without our playtime? I spent so much time caring for her and thinking about her. It took me a very, very long time to stop crying everyday. (For the first 6months-year I would 'feel' her there, 'see' her out of the corner of my eye, or 'hear' her at my feet. It always hurt so much to know that it couldn't possible have been real.) It took even longer than that to feel ready for another cat again. Then it took a while longer for our youngest to be old enough to be responsible around a cat.

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• pangurban
• Feb 26, 2014

I have a framed photo of her with her collar hanging over a corner that I have always had out somewhere. It used to have a few of her toys out around it too in a type of 'shrine' arrangement' but since getting Pangur Ban I am worried he might run off with them. They live in my jewelry box now.

Sometimes I move it to a more private place because I am feeling emotional and don't want to be faced with it constantly, but most of the time it is in a prominent place in our living room.

 

[angels4mom]

Venus is beautiful. I'm truly sorry for your loss. They'll always be our babies though.

 

[angels4mom]

I wanted to show you some pages in my cats' scrapbook to give you ideas. If you look closely on the Poohbear one there are pictures of some of the cats' faces. In the one of just Mandie there's a small envelope in the bottom right corner. There's also one in one of Cocoa's. I have some of their fur in them. You can get these in craft stores for keepsakes. I just started Cocoa's pages so there's not much there yet. In the Valentine one there are foam hearts with cats' names on them.

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• angels4mom
• Mar 5, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Mar 5, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Mar 5, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Mar 5, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Mar 5, 2014

 

[cat nap]

I wanted to show you some pages in my cats' scrapbook to give you ideas. If you look closely on the Poohbear one there are pictures of some of the cats' faces. In the one of just Mandie there's a small envelope in the bottom right corner. There's also one in one of Cocoa's. I have some of their fur in them. You can get these in craft stores for keepsakes. I just started Cocoa's pages so there's not much there yet. In the Valentine one there are foam hearts with cats' names on them.
 

Hi @angels4mom  , I think your scrapbook is beautiful.  It is such a cool idea.

I am not very artistic, but could I ask you how you actually cut the borders to those photos,  Are there special scissors to buy?

I also like the Poohbear theme, but I am more a "LionKing" fan, so I will try with that. 

 

[random gemini]

Lovely scrap book. I think you're on the path to mending the wound. Many hugs and much love to you.

 

[angels4mom]

I bought the scissors at a craft store. I don't recall the price but the ones I got yesterday at AC Moore were .99 cents. They come in different designs. You can just look around for a Lion King design in a book or on Amazon and use it. You can find things to put in the scrapbook in magazines or just about any where.

 

[angels4mom]

Thank you

 

[mservant]

Thank you

Thank you, this is a precious idea and a gift to all of us.  Your scrap books look beautiful.  Makes me want to start on;, my plain photo albums are so much less personal, and what a healing way of expressing your love. 

 

[messibarca]

I'm sorry for your loss it will be 2 weeks tomorrow since my cat died i think about her everyday and remember the good times i try to not think about the moment she died too much but i ask myself did she go in peace?and did i comfort her enough ? I believe after a while it will get better but then there is those times you get sad thinking about them.

 

[angels4mom]

I'm sorry for your loss it will be 2 weeks tomorrow since my cat died i think about her everyday and remember the good times i try to not think about the moment she died too much but i ask myself did she go in peace?and did i comfort her enough ? I believe after a while it will get better but then there is those times you get sad thinking about them.

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well. After beating myself up from Cocoa's illness and death. After wracking my brain trying to figure out what happened, doing searches and talking to Pet Meds ( getting info) I've reached a conclusion. Some have thought it's not possible but it's the only logical answer. It's rare in cats but can happen. I think I shared in here before that Cocoa came to me very small. A few weeks old. Soon after I got him I found a tick on his ear. I carefully removed it but it was latched on tightly enough to cause Cocoa pain. After removed he was fine. He was a little lover. Very affectionate.
He became cranky after a few months or so. Given his long term belly sensitivity on even the slightest touch, the tick, his mood changes, then finally kidney failure and seizures it appears to be Lyme disease. I thought the sensitivity was just that he didn't like it but all I had to do was gently place my hand on it and he smacked or snapped at me. I thought it was a little boy kitty thing. Hormonal in other words. I never dreamed he was seriously ill. There are cats that don't like their bellies touched, his eating and drinking were fine and he was super active.