How do you accept?

[angels4mom]

I'm still aching over my Cocoa. I've lost cats before. Until Cocoa Tiki's death was horrible. Cocoa's is totally devastating. My anti depressant has been increased. I hope it works.

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• angels4mom
• Sep 17, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Sep 17, 2014

As always I miss and love you my precious angel boy :rub:

 

[mservant]

I hope it works for you too.

 If it doesn't work soon ask if there is a different one you can try, there are so many and it is amazing how one can have no effect and another really suits.  

Lovely pictures, thank you for sharing them. 

 

[angels4mom]

Here's the little wood plane I painted to put in Cocoa's memorial box. The one with the blue line on the underside is similar to when he had a tattoo the vet put on him when he was fixed. If you recall I live near an airport. When a plane flew by I'd say to him "De plane "Tattoo",De plane!". It's from the old tv show Fantasy Island. It became our cute little thing just between us.

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• angels4mom
• Oct 19, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Oct 19, 2014

 

[angels4mom]

This winter and Christmas are going to be harsh reminders of what my baby boy went through. It was the day after Christmas that I saw he was so sick. The week and a half after that he got so critically ill and January 6 when I lost him. After he passed I couldn't bury him right away because the ground was frozen solid and under tons of snow. I won't celebrate Christmas. I don't even want to observe it.

 

[mservant]

Christmas has never been one of my favourite times of year and it can be a real effort to get through it for a lot of people.  You are not alone.

Both my 'girls' left me around Christmas, one on the 18th December and the other on the 27th:  I always remember them and think of the fun they always had 'helping' to unwrap parcels, esp any with crunchy ribbons on or with a mint smell.   I know it helps me having Mouse here too as he has a gift for making me laugh.  I hope you find a way through the coming months with some happy memories of Cocoa, and maybe something positive to keep you busy over Christmas like helping at a shelter or something.  Will you think of something to do for Cocoa's aniversary which might help get through the difficulties with his burial?

 

[mnm]

gosh, I haven't thought about that...yes it will bring the memories of Minnie right there being nosey when I get out all the boxes of decorations and they would love jumping in the box the tree came in. Last year our kiddos didn't come out so I didn't put up decorations...this year they are..so I'm excited to do it... I wonder if Mikki will remember how she and Minnie would get into mischief together in all the decorations

 

[angels4mom]

Here's the finished xstitch I did for Cocoa. A nice lady at a church framed it. She did a beautiful job.

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• angels4mom
• Nov 19, 2014

 

[mnm]

aww that's so nice, and also aids in healing.. thanks for sharing.

 

[mservant]

What a beautiful job you have made of the picture - the little butterfly is much more noticeable now.

  It looks so neat, and the frame is a lovely touch, what a kind neighbour.  I hope you have a special place chosen for it and it is bringing you a little peace.

 

[angels4mom]

I'll probably put it in the living room

 

[di and bob]

I lost my Chrissy on Dec. 08th, so Christmas for me is bittersweet too. I been keeping busy with my homeless ones and the mama across the street brought her one remaining baby over to our garage, I put in another dog house with a heat pad, she's in heaven. The only thing we can do is keep busy and not dwell on our lost loved ones, I go to the shelter about this time of the year and pay for a cat's adoption, I do it in Chrissy's name and know she would approve.  I hope that baby gets a new home and I feel better knowing I might have helped. All you who are suffering during this supposedly happy season, my heart breaks for you, I know how you feel. Bless you all and take care.......

 

[angels4mom]

I lost my Chrissy on Dec. 08th, so Christmas for me is bittersweet too. I been keeping busy with my homeless ones and the mama across the street brought her one remaining baby over to our garage, I put in another dog house with a heat pad, she's in heaven. The only thing we can do is keep busy and not dwell on our lost loved ones, I go to the shelter about this time of the year and pay for a cat's adoption, I do it in Chrissy's name and know she would approve.  I hope that baby gets a new home and I feel better knowing I might have helped. All you who are suffering during this supposedly happy season, my heart breaks for you, I know how you feel. Bless you all and take care.......

I keep busy but what I do with my mind and hands doesn't take away the pain in my heart. I get sudden and unexpected tidal waves of crying.

 

[di and bob]

I know how that goes, it's funny, that is exactly how I describe the pain of losing our babies, so I see I'm not alone. I describe the pain as waves, sometimes they are small and we can be at peace for a while, though the pain is still there it is manageable, but then they can come crashing in like a tidal wave and almost drown us in sorrow. I can find myself with tears streaming down my face, especially now during this supposidly 'happy' season. To me this is the season I lost part of my soul. I guess we have to purposely force ourselves to live in the present, the past is gone and the future is ahead, and there is absolutely nothing we can change in either. Right now is the only place we exist in, and we have to be a part of it. We will have to make a conscious choice on what we make of it. My heart goes out to you,I understand your pain.......

 

[snugglecat]

For some reason I am having a very hard time this Holiday season. I just can't seem to get past the guilt, all I do is lay in bed and cry and tell Abby (my dog), Baby boy and Sassy both feral cats that I am so sorry. Sassy was a first time for me witnessing an animal being put to sleep. She was only 8 months old and I had just had her spayed November 2009 and I lost her January 2010. I then had to put my beautiful Baby boy to sleep, he was so sick and I tried so hard for a year to make feel better. I can still see that look of pain in his eyes when I went out to try and get him to eat something. I knew I couldn't let him suffer anymore but I still can't get over the guilt of ending his life. That was in January 2012.

Then there is my dog Abby that I had adopted in November, 2000 she was a year old when I brought her home. I have so much guilt when it comes to her because she was my first animal as an adult and I had missed so many signs that she was having problems. Like all those years she would have periods where she wouldn't eat and she was a dog that licked her lips a lot. No vet ever brought up she could be nauseated  so I thought she was just a very picky dog when it came to food. Nobody ever told me a dog gets dementia, she had been pacing and panting for a year and was getting confused. She was falling down a lot and couldn't get back up. I had to let her go in June 2013 at almost 14 years old.

Sorry about going on and on but nobody knows how hard all of this has been for me and that I sit at home and cry daily because of all this guilt.

 

[samnmag]

I have read through so many of the posts to this thread and the term guilt jumps out a fair number of times.  I am willing to bet that every person who visits this site has had to help their kitties and dogs return home across the bridge.  It is never easy to do that but here is what you need to remember.  We are not vets nor are we psychic enough to be able to read what is in our pets minds.  What we can see is that they may be suffering.  We are all close enough to our pets to know when they are out of sorts and off colour.  At that point, we do what we can to help them get better, be it going to the vet, adjusting diets, etc.  That, as we all know, doesn't always work because the circumstances may be more serious than we can handle.  At this point we are down to a choice.  We can hold on to them while they suffer on and on or we can do the last kind act to free them from pain and illness.  For those feeling the guilt...that is what you have done.  You have prevented them from suffering any torment the irreversible illness has caused and you should never feel guilty about that.  Your fur babies, while on earth, were given wonderful lives and love and in turn, they loved you and brought balance to your life.  They will always always always be with you, but just in a different way.  They don't want you to stop living and they know they are in your heart.  I know it hurts but you must let their memory and time heal your wounded hearts.  I have had to say goodbye to two kitties, years apart from each other, but what I did, is to create memory baskets for each.  I have the toys they liked, their food bowls, special towel, etc in them and I have them close by.  I also have their ashes on my mantel.  I have pictures of them in several spots as I do with all my kitties.  I miss them incredibly but though it took awhile, I know I did the kindest thing I could do for them.  Sometimes when I read posts on this site, my eyes will well up with tears because I do remember and I do know what it feels like to send my babies home.  But I also know there is no way I would allow them to live in pain.  This is a difficult time of year and memories do come back.  Just try to redirect that one sad memory to all the good memories you have of them and say goodbye to the guilt.  You have nothing to feel guilty about.  My thoughts are with you.

 

[angels4mom]

For some reason I am having a very hard time this Holiday season. I just can't seem to get past the guilt, all I do is lay in bed and cry and tell Abby (my dog), Baby boy and Sassy both feral cats that I am so sorry. Sassy was a first time for me witnessing an animal being put to sleep. She was only 8 months old and I had just had her spayed November 2009 and I lost her January 2010. I then had to put my beautiful Baby boy to sleep, he was so sick and I tried so hard for a year to make feel better. I can still see that look of pain in his eyes when I went out to try and get him to eat something. I knew I couldn't let him suffer anymore but I still can't get over the guilt of ending his life. That was in January 2012.

Then there is my dog Abby that I had adopted in November, 2000 she was a year old when I brought her home. I have so much guilt when it comes to her because she was my first animal as an adult and I had missed so many signs that she was having problems. Like all those years she would have periods where she wouldn't eat and she was a dog that licked her lips a lot. No vet ever brought up she could be nauseated  so I thought she was just a very picky dog when it came to food. Nobody ever told me a dog gets dementia, she had been pacing and panting for a year and was getting confused. She was falling down a lot and couldn't get back up. I had to let her go in June 2013 at almost 14 years old.

Sorry about going on and on but nobody knows how hard all of this has been for me and that I sit at home and cry daily because of all this guilt.

I'm so sorry for your losses. There were things Cocoa had going on that could be seen as normal. He didn't like his tummy touched (some cats don't).I saw it too as maybe because he was a boy he just didn't like his belly touched. He became grouchy which I thought was hormonal and would improve after he got neutered. He ate and drank normally and used the litter box. He also had tons of energy. How could a one year old cat have energy one day and be so sick he had to be put to sleep a week and a half later. I held him as he entered Heaven. He was so weak he just went right off to sleep. Earlier that day at home he tried to stand up. The tech said he tried again in ICU. I feel like I stole his hope away. He was fighting and I took his fight from him. Someone told me because he had so many seizures his brain probably was damaged. I can only hope I did the right thing.


I love and miss you baby angel :rub:

 

[Loving Mickey]

I am truly sorry for the pain everyone is going through. I understand that pain all too well. My precious Mickey passed back in July, and I miss him terribly. I think we all at times feel some guilt over their passing. We may think we did not do enough to save them. I myself feel that way alot. I think it is also harder at this time of year as Christmas is getting closer. The holidays may be nice but it is hard when you miss your loved ones who are now gone. They may have been human or pets. The pain can still be unbearable for us as we miss them so much.My heart feels for each and every one of you. Just know that you are not alone!!

 

[angels4mom]

I am truly sorry for the pain everyone is going through. I understand that pain all too well. My precious Mickey passed back in July, and I miss him terribly. I think we all at times feel some guilt over their passing. We may think we did not do enough to save them. I myself feel that way alot. I think it is also harder at this time of year as Christmas is getting closer. The holidays may be nice but it is hard when you miss your loved ones who are now gone. They may have been human or pets. The pain can still be unbearable for us as we miss them so much.My heart feels for each and every one of you. Just know that you are not alone!!

Thank you Loving Mickey