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Hanging in. Ty for asking
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- Thread starter angels4mom
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Hanging in. Ty for asking
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I had no option but to have my cherished Pebbles pts on Saturday. He was much loved, a constant companion of nearly 13 years. He was such a loving, happy cat with a very good appetite but over the years he had tended to be overweight and as a result he had less energy and tired more easily.
His vet suggested I should try and get his weight down and we put him on a special science diet. As a result he lost some weight. His coat looked healthy, his nose was cold and wet. He looked really good. Over Easter he became very clingy - usually he didn't fuss too much about cuddles. I lapped up the extra attention he was giving me. Then on Saturday my daughter said Mum we need to trim Pebbie's nails. So I grabbed a hold of him and, as usual he struggled to get free. I managed to hold him down on the floor firmly but gently and trim his nails but when I let go he seemed overly upset by the experience.
He walked away and, after a short distance, he laid down on his side and I noticed he was panting. I rang the vet straight away and took him in. I was so shocked to learn after x-rays that his stomach was full of cancer and that he had only 20% capacity to breathe! I was horrified. How could I not know he was unwell! The night before I had caught him redpawed jumping up on the kitchen bench and taking from my dinner plate the remnants of my eye fillet of steak.
My daughter and I knew we had to do the right thing and let Pebbie go as the vet suggested, even though we were in total shock and no where near ready to say goodbye. The last couple of days I have been trying to deal with the grief and loss of my precious little boy. I see him everywhere in the house. I have been racked by guilt. What did I miss? Could I not see he was in pain? What if he was in pain and I let him suffer for days, or weeks or months! Why didn't I take him to the vet earlier! How could I be so ignorant. I could not stop scolding myself.
I have been reading all sorts of things online to deal with this overwhelming sense of loss. Some of what I have read makes me feel worse ... for instance that cats suffer pain just like humans do but are very good at hiding it. Then other things I read .. like trust your instinct, your pet will let you know when it is time makes me trust more in my instincts.
My Pebbles had a wonderful life as an indoor cat. He was spoiled rotten and we lavished him with love. Feeling guilt and regret will not bring him back. I want to cherish the wonderful memories I have of my wonderful box boy. We named him that because he loved to fit his very large self inside the smallest of boxes!
I hope telling my story will help you come to terms with your own grief. We are never ready to say goodbye to our pets. I expect to feel waves of sadness for sometime to come.
I had no option but to have my cherished Pebbles pts on Saturday. He was much loved, a constant companion of nearly 13 years. He was such a loving, happy cat with a very good appetite but over the years he had tended to be overweight and as a result he had less energy and tired more easily.
His vet suggested I should try and get his weight down and we put him on a special science diet. As a result he lost some weight. His coat looked healthy, his nose was cold and wet. He looked really good. Over Easter he became very clingy - usually he didn't fuss too much about cuddles. I lapped up the extra attention he was giving me. Then on Saturday my daughter said Mum we need to trim Pebbie's nails. So I grabbed a hold of him and, as usual he struggled to get free. I managed to hold him down on the floor firmly but gently and trim his nails but when I let go he seemed overly upset by the experience.
He walked away and, after a short distance, he laid down on his side and I noticed he was panting. I rang the vet straight away and took him in. I was so shocked to learn after x-rays that his stomach was full of cancer and that he had only 20% capacity to breathe! I was horrified. How could I not know he was unwell! The night before I had caught him redpawed jumping up on the kitchen bench and taking from my dinner plate the remnants of my eye fillet of steak.
My daughter and I knew we had to do the right thing and let Pebbie go as the vet suggested, even though we were in total shock and no where near ready to say goodbye. The last couple of days I have been trying to deal with the grief and loss of my precious little boy. I see him everywhere in the house. I have been racked by guilt. What did I miss? Could I not see he was in pain? What if he was in pain and I let him suffer for days, or weeks or months! Why didn't I take him to the vet earlier! How could I be so ignorant. I could not stop scolding myself.
I have been reading all sorts of things online to deal with this overwhelming sense of loss. Some of what I have read makes me feel worse ... for instance that cats suffer pain just like humans do but are very good at hiding it. Then other things I read .. like trust your instinct, your pet will let you know when it is time makes me trust more in my instincts.
My Pebbles had a wonderful life as an indoor cat. He was spoiled rotten and we lavished him with love. Feeling guilt and regret will not bring him back. I want to cherish the wonderful memories I have of my wonderful box boy. We named him that because he loved to fit his very large self inside the smallest of boxes!
I hope telling my story will help you come to terms with your own grief. We are never ready to say goodbye to our pets. I expect to feel waves of sadness for sometime to come.
In my experience, there is no acceptance even 2 yrs later.
What helped (distracted and dulled pain) is providing home for another homeless cat and taking good care of it, in the name of your old cat.
My best wishes to you, be strong!
What helped (distracted and dulled pain) is providing home for another homeless cat and taking good care of it, in the name of your old cat.
My best wishes to you, be strong!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #324
Chrissie, I am so sorry for your loss. I've felt that horrible guilt too. How could I have missed it. Why didn't I get him to the vet sooner. He tried to stand up. Why did I take that fight away by having him put to sleep. He was just a baby, I could've had so many more memories with him. I've been beating myself up about it. Maybe in time you and I will cherish those precious memories instead of blaming ourselves about Pebbles and Cocoa illnesses.
Unfortunately, cats are very stoic - they do not tell us when they feel ill and, consequently, signs are often missed.
Try not to focus on Pebbles's death. Focus on his life. He is looking down at his mommy and he is sad that you are sad.
You probably did not see my thread about my cat who died on April 10. My husband buried her outside and planted a small maple seedling on her grave. Zimmie is now a tree and I go out every day to say hello to her. This has helped me enormously in my grief, which was devastating when she died.
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Hi @angels4mom....is it getting a little better now? Do the two girls keep you entertained? And are you sleeping okay?
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- #328
I'm sleeping okay. I'm on an antidepressant. Holly and I play. Since I switched cat food Mandie has no energy so I'm switching back to Pro Plan. They liked it a lot and Mandie had more energy. They say burial is supposed to give closure but it's not for me. I just have to try to carry on for my girls. Being 14 I don't know how much time I'll have left with Mandie. Both cats have ear mites on top of it. They got their rabies shots last Thursday. Mandie clung to me like she never had. It was like she was hugging me. She was afraid. They've been through so much.
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Yeah, the main part is that you are getting to sleep and try to eat well, too and the antidepressant should help.
I have to find out what type of food to transition 14 yr old Spotty too, as well.......So I guess I have to try a few and see which ones he'll eat and if they are any good. I am going to go to the Nutrition Forum and read up on the nutrition threads...there was also an article which I read before....but have to go back and read it again. My guy is on dry and wet....but a lot say wet is better.
I was told cats can live until 19 to 20 but don't know, never had one that long.
There was an article on ear mites somewhere, ....maybe do a search for it....and something will come up. I had to get drops for Sparky's ears when he had them.
here is a post...not sure if it helps...http://www.thecatsite.com/t/269827/ear-mites-looking-for-some-treatments
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- #330
I saw that article. If it's the same one the kitten being cared for looks just like Cocoa when he was a small baby. Words of wisdom. Don't Google the nutrition thing as much as I did. You'll get people who don't like Purina for example and make it sound like all Purina foods are poison. I changed to Authority and it has a lot of carbs in it. Her energy really crashed. PP has low carbs, 22%, the lowest I've seen and high protein, 40%. They inhale Pro Plan!!
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Yeah, thanks, I know I have to watch what's in the food. And I am so confused with all the brands....so I will just read everything with a "grain of salt" (no joke intended). Its hard, to choose a food. I also look for high protein but want to know what its made from and any of the other stuff, too. (I will check out that food)
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Do your girls drink a lot of water?
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- #333
Yes they do. It's filtered tap with a Pur faucet mount unit.
For all the 14 year old kitties out there - Tender Loving Care is the most important thing. A couple of elderly sisters I did a bit of work for many years ago told me that when I met their 24 year old tortie and white girl: they had separate bedrooms and that cat would meow at them every morning until one of them got up and went through to the other sister's room and climbed in to the bed: the kitty would clamber in between them and demand petting.
My girls were with me almost to 18th birthday together, and the remaining sister close to her 22nd birthday and got more and more special with every year. You wouldn't have taken a second glance if she'd been walking with a zimmer frame she was so much the little old lady by then but she was so chilled it was lovely spending time with her. None of us know how long we have, but at 14 you have the opportunity of many more loving years with Mandie and Holly (and Spotty cat nap). Honestly Pal looked frail from the age of about 12 and snowleopard was like a kitten her whole life, but it was snowleopard I lost at 18.
@angels4mom those anti depressants should help but they take time, and if they don't start to make a difference after a month or so then talk to your doctor and try a different one. Cat nap is right, it is good that you are managing to sleep, our bodies and brains need sleep to recuperate. It takes time but you will start to feel better, and when you start to feel better your girls will feel better too. Not only are they missing Cocoa, Holly and Mandie are worried about you too, it is amazing how they pick up on our emotions.
@angels4mom those anti depressants should help but they take time, and if they don't start to make a difference after a month or so then talk to your doctor and try a different one. Cat nap is right, it is good that you are managing to sleep, our bodies and brains need sleep to recuperate. It takes time but you will start to feel better, and when you start to feel better your girls will feel better too. Not only are they missing Cocoa, Holly and Mandie are worried about you too, it is amazing how they pick up on our emotions.
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For all the 14 year old kitties out there - Tender Loving Care is the most important thing. A couple of elderly sisters I did a bit of work for many years ago told me that when I met their 24 year old tortie and white girl: they had separate bedrooms and that cat would meow at them every morning until one of them got up and went through to the other sister's room and climbed in to the bed: the kitty would clamber in between them and demand petting.My girls were with me almost to 18th birthday together, and the remaining sister close to her 22nd birthday and got more and more special with every year. You wouldn't have taken a second glance if she'd been walking with a zimmer frame she was so much the little old lady by then but she was so chilled it was lovely spending time with her. None of us know how long we have, but at 14 you have the opportunity of many more loving years with Mandie and Holly (and Spotty cat nap). Honestly Pal looked frail from the age of about 12 and snowleopard was like a kitten her whole life, but it was snowleopard I lost at 18.
@angels4mom
those anti depressants should help but they take time, and if they don't start to make a difference after a month or so then talk to your doctor and try a different one. Cat nap is right, it is good that you are managing to sleep, our bodies and brains need sleep to recuperate. It takes time but you will start to feel better, and when you start to feel better your girls will feel better too. Not only are they missing Cocoa, Holly and Mandie are worried about you too, it is amazing how they pick up on our emotions.
Whoohoo! The Pro Plan is starting to kick in. Mandie is starting to get some of her groove back! Both girls still have ear mites but I've been giving them extra virgin olive oil through needle-less syringes. I didn't know cats' ear canals were so long. Two inches long. The critters are probably setting up camp all the way in. It's beginning to work. The syringes are able to push the oil in far enough. I don't put in a lot. Just about 7 drops worth. There's a bit less crud coming out now! Yay!! Yay for them and me. I had a dream about Cocoa last night. That he was missing and I looked for him. Turned out he wasn't missing. He was with me the whole time.
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Sounds like your girls are getting lots of TLC to me, and those nasty little ear mites hopefully being flushed out!
I hope your dream left you feeling warm and comfortable if still sad.
I hope your dream left you feeling warm and comfortable if still sad.
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- #337
It's incredibly heartbreaking. Holly not only looks to the hallway, for Cocoa when we play but also when she's just laying in bed. Five months later and she still looks for him. On the upside Mandie played with me with a piece of yarn yesterday.
I was wondering which flavor of Pro Plan your cats eat? Also is the kibble small, I have a couple of feral cats that are having a hard time eating the bigger pieces in another brand. I have a coupon for Pro Plan but not sure which one to try.
Glad to hear your girls are doing much better.
@angels4mom , healing takes its own time, and little moments of play can grow: these are a start in your home finding a way forward while still remembering Cocoa. Thank you for letting us know a little of how you are getting on.
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- #340
I was wondering which flavor of Pro Plan your cats eat? Also is the kibble small, I have a couple of feral cats that are having a hard time eating the bigger pieces in another brand. I have a coupon for Pro Plan but not sure which one to try.
Glad to hear your girls are doing much better.
They eat chicken/ hairball management flavor. Kibbles are medium size
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