How do I move on?

[KK300]

We lost our Sammy two years ago.

I am still heartbroken, how do I move on?

I miss him every day, he was my soulmate.

 

[Mighty Orange]

You will never forget. Perhaps it would help to save another if you're ready. I have found that over the years each cat had its own personality. But in the end, each cat shared their love with you. I'm 67 and adopted an older bounded pair, both are unique. And both make me feel better.

 

[KK300]

Thank you for your reply.

I am so conflicted. I miss my boy so much, he was such a special cat.

Part of me desperately wants to adopt a black cat (like Sammy), but I know that no two cats are the same, and that I will never have him back.

I am getting older, and considering moving overseas, but I just miss him so much.

 

[FeebysOwner]

All cats are different, and never likely will you find one the can truly replicate Sammy. But, that doesn't mean you cannot bond with another cat in a totally different way that is just as rewarding. I have had (only) 3 cats over the years, and love(d) them equally even though not one of them was like the other.

My first cat, I had no time to grieve as another cat showed up on my doorstep the very same day I had to put Tawny to sleep (15yo - FIP). Gracie was nothing like Tawny, but gave me so much joy. When Gracie passed (12yo - cancer) I did not pursue getting another cat - and, it was 2 years before yet another cat showed up on my doorstep, in a manner of speaking. Feeby (now 19+ yo) is again nothing like the other two. I love her no more or no less for being her own individual.

Sometimes, I wonder if it isn't better that way, as there is no accidental comparison that could make me sad about the others I have lost. Life is precious and, with cats, usually all too short - but, what they give us of their selves unconditionally and what we can do for them as well, is something to be cherished for as long as we are allowed to have them in our lives.

 

[KK300]

I'm so scared of taking on another cat, they won't be Sammy

 

[Mighty Orange]

You're right, they will never be Sammy. But you will be doing something Sammy would appreciate. Giving another a life to live with someone they can love.

 

[daftcat75]

No they won't be Sammy. Sammy was as unique as your next one will be.

What I found helpful for me was following several (okay dozens) of cat accounts on Instagram to remind myself that although I will never have another Krista, cats are just so special and lovable that I can find that joy and love from another cat too. I got so invested in watching the lives, loves, and antics of these other cats that I eventually found myself ready to take on a new one myself.

Betty isn't Krista. There's lots of fun and funny things that Krista did that I still miss today. But there are things that Betty and I share that Krista and I never did.

Maybe you might want to look into fostering. There are some shelters/agencies that allow a foster-to-adopt like a try-before-you-buy. You can foster the cat for someone else to adopt. But if you click, you can be that someone else and adopt that cat yourself. Another angle that might appeal to you is a cat cafe where you can spend some time with social cats (they don't place anti-social ones in those cafes) and see if you connect with any of them.

 

[Mia6]

I am so sorry about Sammy.

You have so much love to give,Why not share it another black kitten?
I'm sure it would work out and Sammy would as well.

Love
Mia

 

[di and bob]

You move on because there is no alternative. The world keeps going though the grief-stricken's world stands still. You move forward carrying your sweet Sammy's memories with you. He will always be a part of your very soul. His love can NEVER be replaced, it is spiritual so eternal. It can be made even stronger though by passing on his legacy of love to another little soul in need. It is not the same, it can never be so, but it brings comfort and joy once more.
It takes at least two years to even begin to process losing a loved one, it will get a little easier as time goes by. You learn ways to handle your grieving moments, what works and what doesn't One day in the far future your grief will kinda change to thankfulness for having him in your life, to gratitude, for sharing your life's journey, and for showing you what love truly is. You will never get over losing him, you get through it. We are here to show you we survived, maybe to show you ways to feel a little better. Often it is by just getting your feelings out to people who truly understand.
I found that by trying to comfort the unconsolable, I somehow gain a little comfort myself. Just knowing there are others out there that feel as I do truly helps.
May you be blessed for loving so much, know your little boy is at peace because he carries your love in his heart. He will continue to send you his own love for as long as you live. Your souls are held together by the unbreakable bonds of love......

 

[Antonio65]

I'm so scared of taking on another cat, they won't be Sammy

Your fear was my fear.
When I lost my two previous cats, a year and a half apart, I was sure I could have never had another cat. No cat in the world would have been my gone cats.
And it is true.

Then the fate made me cross my path with two lovely feral kittens, a year apart from each other, and though I was hesitant at the beginning, and though the new life with them was a little doubtful, then I learned how to love a cat again.
They're not my previous cats, it is true, they are different, of course they are.
They are not better, and not worse. They are different cats.

I haven't forgotten my Lola and Pallina, I will never forget them, it would be impossible, but I love my new Giada and Freya, and each day I love them more than I did the day before.
I have found out that this love grows each day. You will find out that too. Just let your heart open to a new kitten. Give yourself time, but do not give up. Out there, there's a cat who is waiting for you and needs you love. Sammy will lead you to this cat.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Sammy, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Losing your furry soulmate is just devastating. I miss my soul-dog after 50 years. It isn't a raw, tearing grief anymore, and the sweet memories far outweigh the bitter. When I was thinking about another pet, and wondering if I could ever love an animal who wasn't Kim, my Dad reminded me that when we open our hearts to another, we never divide our love, and that each person, no matter how many feet they have, gets their very own love, whole and complete, and never "just like" the love we have for anyone else. Think of it as honoring Sammy, by giving another sweet cat a chance at hearth and home and love. Sammy's spot in your heart will remain Sammy's, inviolate and whole. And Sammy, from her home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, will purr.

 

[KK300]

Thank you all for your replies.
I am still shattered by losing him, I just can't move past the grief, he was my little friend. My partner also adored him, but I feel that my bond with him was on a deeper level somehow.
I would love to take on another black cat, just don't know if I can set myself up for a similar loss in the future.
I have had many cats over the years, but Sammy and I had a really special bond.

 

[di and bob]

I know, but the rewards are so much greater. You would not have such pain if you would have never met him, but look what you would have lost! He is worth it. Love is always worth it.

 

[KK300]

You move on because there is no alternative. The world keeps going though the grief-stricken's world stands still. You move forward carrying your sweet Sammy's memories with you. He will always be a part of your very soul. His love can NEVER be replaced, it is spiritual so eternal. It can be made even stronger though by passing on his legacy of love to another little soul in need. It is not the same, it can never be so, but it brings comfort and joy once more.
It takes at least two years to even begin to process losing a loved one, it will get a little easier as time goes by. You learn ways to handle your grieving moments, what works and what doesn't One day in the far future your grief will kinda change to thankfulness for having him in your life, to gratitude, for sharing your life's journey, and for showing you what love truly is. You will never get over losing him, you get through it. We are here to show you we survived, maybe to show you ways to feel a little better. Often it is by just getting your feelings out to people who truly understand.
I found that by trying to comfort the unconsolable, I somehow gain a little comfort myself. Just knowing there are others out there that feel as I do truly helps.
May you be blessed for loving so much, know your little boy is at peace because he carries your love in his heart. He will continue to send you his own love for as long as you live. Your souls are held together by the unbreakable bonds of love......

Thank you, that was such a lovely message

 

[KK300]

I feel so cheated. Sammy developed a liver condition that had no explanation. It was so unfair. He was such a loving, kind and intelligent boy. I miss him every day, and try to honour his memory by donating cat food to the local cat sanctuary, but I miss him every day.

 

[KK300]

It's been almost three years now, and whilst the acute grief diminishes, I still miss him every day. Stupid little things like showing him any groceries I bought, or any ribbons for Christmas presents, he loved to be involved, and I miss that so much. He was a huge part of my life, I used to look forward to getting back to him after work, and just being with him on my days off, he was my little friend who just happened to be a cat. I miss him so much.

 

[Stormy accepts you]

You move on because that’s what he would’ve wanted. He wants to see that you’re okay. He’s watching, I promise. He has all the toys he could possibly wanT. He can still hear you, I promise.

 

[KK300]

You move on because that’s what he would’ve wanted. He wants to see that you’re okay. He’s watching, I promise. He has all the toys he could possibly wanT. He can still hear you, I promise.

Thank you

 

[di and bob]

I agree, it will get better, one day you will turn that grief into gratitude for having him share your life’s journey. It hurts so much, but his love is so much more…..

 

[Stormy accepts you]

Thank you

Of course, honey.