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Whoa, I have not said that I could not live without a 2nd cat. I want one really bad and have had the "once he sees it he'll fall in love with it" attitude. But I did mention that he is a good guy and I would not leave him because of it. I have been making jokes about having a kitty just show up, but I mentioned that I wouldn't really do it, and I also mentioned that he did give in a give me Dori, she was even a Christmas gift.Originally Posted by Hydroaxe
I don't agree. I think it's tough luck for both of you... if given that both of you didn't know how the other felt about cats before your relationship became what it is. -sounds like you have the classic case of hoping-he-will-change syndrome on top of that though. People have the right to be who they are. He should not have to live with cats if he doesn't like them. You should be able to if you want to, but I think both of you are being selfish here. However, don't think you should bow to him and let him have his way. You're at a crossroad, not a merger. Leave him be and choose a man who loves cats. (There are plenty of us who do.) You can have the best of both worlds, but not with him, comprende?
You didn't say that you couldn't live without a second cat, but you did make it sound that way when you said you wanted one "soooo bad." You also never told us that he gave you Dori as a Christmas gift either, so how could we know he's the good guy you said he was? If that's the case after four years of begging, I think maybe he has already been fair enough and maybe you haven't given him enough credit. Convincing is something you do when someone says "maybe" or "I'm not sure" or "Hmmm... I don't know"... not when someone says "No way." Lying to him and orchestrating a series of events (if you choose to go that way) in an attempt to play on his feelings is called manipulation... not convincing. Would it be nice and considerate if he said yes? Of course, but he has already given you a solid answer. "...hoping he will change his mind." is the same as "hoping he will change" syndrome.Originally Posted by squirtle
Whoa, I have not said that I could not live without a 2nd cat. I want one really bad and have had the "once he sees it he'll fall in love with it" attitude. But I did mention that he is a good guy and I would not leave him because of it. I have been making jokes about having a kitty just show up, but I mentioned that I wouldn't really do it, and I also mentioned that he did give in a give me Dori, she was even a Christmas gift.You are right about the fact that neither of us had cats in mind when we met, which is why I can be understanding of him not wanting to go along with it now, BUT I have been the one who has been very very accepting in many other situations. In relationships, especially when you truly love eachother there are some things that you give in on to make the other happy. I do it for him all the time, he does it for me..... once in a whileWhen it comes down to it, I am not going to force him to deal with another cat. I am looking to convince him to give into me
I don't think his decision is an evaluation of her personality, because I don't think that he thinks it through that farOriginally Posted by jcat
Does she see/encounter other cats, and how does she react? Might your boyfriend's objections be based on his evaluation of her personality?