HELP! resident cat not acclimating with new kitten

[gothbug]

Hello All,

My resident cat has not been accepting of the new kitten and I am worried I am doing it all wrong.. sorry for this being a long one.

Here’s a little backstory -
I have had my resident cat for almost 8 years now. He has always been a little reclusive and had dealt with my not so great household growing up. I moved out and got my own place and worked toward giving him all the things and he had adjusted to our new lifestyle fantastically! He has had some health complications - specifically urinary tract issues in the past but has not had any issues as of recent and is on medicated food for it.

I’ve always wanted 2 cats and I finally felt like I was ready to introduce a new cat into our family.

When the kitten came to live with us she got pretty sick for the first few weeks so we did slow introductions, swapped smells on towels and let them smell each other through the door. As she got better we started to feed them at the same time through the door and over a few weeks time worked meal times to be in the same room with a close distance ( this may have been the wrong move but I had read that it’s like rewarding them for being together and they would relate having food with being with the other cat) If he seemed uninterested in his food we made sure to push them farther apart so he would be comfortable.

We have pheromone diffusers in the common areas of the house. She stays in my room and he gets the living room/ kitchen and my roommate has been letting him into her room every so often.

fast forward 2 months later , every time we try to have them in the same space they would be ok with each other for a little bit and then the kitten would try to explore and resident cat would get defensive. I would try to distract her with toys and that worked for a bit. They would walk up to each other and smell eachother and then he would start hitting her ( no claws, just close paw bops on the head) she would roll over and not attack and this would happen for a few weeks and I thought we were making progress. There would be some hissing/growling here or there but no big fights.

However, as soon as he stopped hitting her - she started getting up in his face and would hit him!! there would be growling and hissing and then i would take her away because I didn’t want them to hurt each other.

I try to reward them when they were together with toys, treats, pets but they were just not getting along and we decided to take a step back and keep them more separated. It has been hard keeping them in different rooms because the kitten wants to explore and all I want is for them to tolerate eachother enough for me to spend time with both of them!!

I don’t think he likes her and will stay away and hide if she comes out of the room. She has also been going straight for his food if she sees it.. I always pick her up and take her away from his food as she can be food aggressive and he has medication in his food.. ( it is near the bedroom door that she is in - I am planning to move this soon in case it is making him more anxious because of this - It’s just been the only place that works in my apartment but I want to move things around to help him adjust.)

It’s been 3/4 months now and She got spayed recently and is in the cone of shame and I feel like we’ve lost all of our progress. Resident cat has been peeing on my things that smell like her, has been having weird eating habits and I think he might be jealous because she sleeps in my room We got a pet gate so I can keep my door open so he doesn’t feel locked out & so he could get used to her smell but he is not interested in seeing what’s going on. He’s also been laying around more than usual, not really interested in toys or treats which is super odd!!

I am currently trying to up the amount of time that I spend with him - and give him more praise, I try to always check in with him first when I come home. I’m worried that he thinks I favor her because I spend more time in my room with her as my computer is in there for work/gaming. I always make sure to come out and spend time with him but I don’t know what else to do to make them tolerate each other!!

I appreciate any advice on how to make this process go by smoother. How long will they stay like this? Will I always have to separate them? When is it concerning about his eating habit changes ? How do I know if they are really fighting or just playing? Am I going too slow that he expects her to just stay in the room?

please help!

 

[price053]

Hello All,

My resident cat has not been accepting of the new kitten and I am worried I am doing it all wrong.. sorry for this being a long one.

Here’s a little backstory -
I have had my resident cat for almost 8 years now. He has always been a little reclusive and had dealt with my not so great household growing up. I moved out and got my own place and worked toward giving him all the things and he had adjusted to our new lifestyle fantastically! He has had some health complications - specifically urinary tract issues in the past but has not had any issues as of recent and is on medicated food for it.

I’ve always wanted 2 cats and I finally felt like I was ready to introduce a new cat into our family.

When the kitten came to live with us she got pretty sick for the first few weeks so we did slow introductions, swapped smells on towels and let them smell each other through the door. As she got better we started to feed them at the same time through the door and over a few weeks time worked meal times to be in the same room with a close distance ( this may have been the wrong move but I had read that it’s like rewarding them for being together and they would relate having food with being with the other cat) If he seemed uninterested in his food we made sure to push them farther apart so he would be comfortable.

We have pheromone diffusers in the common areas of the house. She stays in my room and he gets the living room/ kitchen and my roommate has been letting him into her room every so often.

fast forward 2 months later , every time we try to have them in the same space they would be ok with each other for a little bit and then the kitten would try to explore and resident cat would get defensive. I would try to distract her with toys and that worked for a bit. They would walk up to each other and smell eachother and then he would start hitting her ( no claws, just close paw bops on the head) she would roll over and not attack and this would happen for a few weeks and I thought we were making progress. There would be some hissing/growling here or there but no big fights.

However, as soon as he stopped hitting her - she started getting up in his face and would hit him!! there would be growling and hissing and then i would take her away because I didn’t want them to hurt each other.

I try to reward them when they were together with toys, treats, pets but they were just not getting along and we decided to take a step back and keep them more separated. It has been hard keeping them in different rooms because the kitten wants to explore and all I want is for them to tolerate eachother enough for me to spend time with both of them!!

I don’t think he likes her and will stay away and hide if she comes out of the room. She has also been going straight for his food if she sees it.. I always pick her up and take her away from his food as she can be food aggressive and he has medication in his food.. ( it is near the bedroom door that she is in - I am planning to move this soon in case it is making him more anxious because of this - It’s just been the only place that works in my apartment but I want to move things around to help him adjust.)

It’s been 3/4 months now and She got spayed recently and is in the cone of shame and I feel like we’ve lost all of our progress. Resident cat has been peeing on my things that smell like her, has been having weird eating habits and I think he might be jealous because she sleeps in my room We got a pet gate so I can keep my door open so he doesn’t feel locked out & so he could get used to her smell but he is not interested in seeing what’s going on. He’s also been laying around more than usual, not really interested in toys or treats which is super odd!!

I am currently trying to up the amount of time that I spend with him - and give him more praise, I try to always check in with him first when I come home. I’m worried that he thinks I favor her because I spend more time in my room with her as my computer is in there for work/gaming. I always make sure to come out and spend time with him but I don’t know what else to do to make them tolerate each other!!

I appreciate any advice on how to make this process go by smoother. How long will they stay like this? Will I always have to separate them? When is it concerning about his eating habit changes ? How do I know if they are really fighting or just playing? Am I going too slow that he expects her to just stay in the room?

please help!

I have asked Kwik to look at your story, she is so fantastic with animals.. she truly is the best...
you are not alone here I promise.

 

[LEGENDofBEVERLY]

I am not an expert (only 1 cat I fixed myself, the rest were all fixed ling before ingot them) but I think the spay and the cone are gonna slow things down quite a bit.

It might take a bit for her hormones to regulate and she might have a new or different smell after the operation. He might think she is a completely new cat. She should be less aggressive ones she's fully healed and adjusted to her new norm but there might be an adjustment period for her.

Also the cone is probably freaking him out a lot. With that in mind; the intro process might need to wait until the cone is gone before restarting/starting all the way over.

Now I'm one my 3rd round of cat introductions and this one is taking the longest (11 year old vs two 18 month olds, all female) but I bought a pet proof temp screen from amazon that comes with velcro/wall sticky backer & a zipper and it's working really well for all 3 rounds.

The issue I had is; after getting them eating against a closed door, I started over with just the screen in-between. They were eating fine but after a while they started fighting between the screen dirong the non food parts of the day. I started over and now I'm moving them closer and only having the door open during meals. The goal is to get them to eat face to face with just the screen and walk away after eating.

The other thing I would try is when are are at the "eating face to face but closed door the rest of the time" phase is maybe rotate them day to day or maybe every 3-5 days. He's in your room all of one day, she is in your room the other day.

I'm not sure if any of that will work but those are the steps I'd try in your situation.

Good luck!

 

[Kwik]

Hello gothbug to TCS
It's very nice to meet you

Well,after that introduction from price053 I do hope to not disappoint,lol I will begin with a hug and encourage you not to feel discouraged,youve not done anything wrong ,sometimes it just takes a little longer and theres always moving forward,falling back,move forward some more & fall back -:it's those personalities and " moods" of different individuals working out how to get along -: theres been no great issue that has come about ... So relax,we'll figure it out- sound good?

As LEGENDofBEVERLY has mentioned there is at the present time new sights & smells - your resident cat may very well be thinking " now what ,another new cat--- or wait ,what's that huge scarey cone head"? So all bets are off right now,put on ' pause' and then restart

You mentioned ' jealousy'- well cats don't have those human emotions but it can sure seem that way when the resident cat considers her person is HERS,it's a territorial display & not jealousy'- the marking is also evidence that resident is staking her claims....

Can I ask their names so I don't have to call her resident and new kitty? How old is the little one now?

I understand that many folks swear by the feefing thing for introductions,even Jackson Galaxy - it's a good thing but not with all cats,some cats have a stronger than most instinctual food conptetivdnrss where the feeding together will be counter productive and could decrease ones interest in food and increase anothers and triggering aggression so it might not be the best method for these 2 darlings

To answer your question " Will I always have to separate them ' the simple answer is " No"....They can & will co-exist peacefully in your home with proper introductions and supervision.. For right now Ill ask where was new kitties safe space? Can she go back there to heal from the spay and where does resident kitty stay---- Im interested in knowing the layout of your home,I understand you have a roommate so is she also a pet parent? On board with you ,one big family?

 

[gothbug]

Hi, Thank you for your responses!

LEGENDofBEVERLY That makes a lot of sense! I did not realize her scent would change & We will hard stop introductions until she gets her sutures and cone off ( This Thursday, How long should we wait after to start introductions again ? A week or so? )
I've tried swapping their spaces and the kitten (Guts) is totally fine with being in his space, wants to explore and see the rest of the appt. However, Resident cat ( Gandalf ) hates being in her space, He is curious and looks around but tail is down and flickering, the most airplane that I've ever seen his ears, and he is super jumpy and will run out of the room if I make too much noise. I always leave the door open so he knows he can leave freely but I feel like I can't lock him in there because I don't want to stress him out, should I? I want him to feel confident about being in the different spaces but also understand that Guts needs her own safe space.

Kwik Thank you for your kind words. I have been getting worried about them because I just want them to be friends :0

I'm going to keep them completely separate and start the entire process over after she has healed completely from her spay. ( next week/2 weeks from now)

Resident cat's name is Gandalf ( 8 yrs old, Male) And the Kitten's name is Guts ( 7 Mo old, Female)

I am pretty worried because Gandalf's been avoiding his food as of yesterday. Won't actively go for treats and has been overall avoidant. He can get moody sometimes but I've never seen him this moody. I got him to finally cave and eat some churu and also got him to eat some high calorie liquid kitten food from when Guts was baby. I'm hoping he will start eating soon, the food in the automatic feeder has been piling up and its very unlike him to not eat. If he keeps up like this for the next day or so I will bring him into the vet.

If you recommend not doing the feeding thing together, I am down to do so but this is the main time that they see each other.. Do you have any advice on the best course of action for reintroduction if not during similar feeding times in the same space?

Guts stays in my room, closed door, with all of her needs inside. Gandalf pretty much has full range of the rest of the apartment.

My roommate is my best friend since 2nd grade so they help me out a lot with feeding and taking care of the cats and we call her their step parent lol.

Thanks again <3

 

[LEGENDofBEVERLY]

It will mostly depend on them but I'd feel like a week is a good time frame to start back up. I'd probably suggest starting all the way over and moving at a pace Gandalf is okay with.

From what I've read, it could take anywhere from couple of weeks to two months for Guts to completely purge her sex hormones after getting fixed so i'd suggest not letting them physically interact for a little bit. But starting the scene based intro again should be okay.

Also I'd suggest maybe moving Gut's base comp to the bathroom if it's big enough and won't cause issues for you & your roommate. I've got nothing to back that up, but I feel like Gandalf might be less unnerved losing that bathroom than losing your room/more access to you. In my experience, younger cats like Guts have a much easier time adjusting to changes than older cats like Gandalf. Not sure if that will make a difference but that is something I'd try if I were in the same situation.

 

[Kwik]

Hi- you're welcome,My pleasure .... your room in my opinion is the best bet for Guts especially because it is where she has been all along.... let her recover and get her familiar scent from the room back on her with this time to- if she has blankets or something you can always rub her down with them bit not too important as you're going to reset snd begin again(for future Vet trips its a good idea to rub a kitty down with a towel or small soft cloth & upon returning put their scent back on them before releasing to other kitties at home)

I agree with your decision to take Gandalf to the Vet to be sure he is physically okay- he should be fine with the entire house and no access to you're room-after all hid food,water,litter and cat tree are out there for him.... Luke your idea to move his food( gradually if you can) from where it is to where you propose -after 8 yrs eating by himself he might prefer not eating socially- it might be stressful for him(& so does moving feeding areas do it slowly)

I think you night might slow things down a bit for Gandalfs sake - the house is laid out nicely to work out different options imo but we are not there yet

Also I noticed only one litter box for Gandalf,you are going to need another one besides the additional one in your room( 2 cats=2boxes plus 1,that's 3) that's the rule of thumb ( imo the more tye better)