- Joined
- Dec 31, 2023
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Hello All,
My resident cat has not been accepting of the new kitten and I am worried I am doing it all wrong.. sorry for this being a long one.
Here’s a little backstory -
I have had my resident cat for almost 8 years now. He has always been a little reclusive and had dealt with my not so great household growing up. I moved out and got my own place and worked toward giving him all the things and he had adjusted to our new lifestyle fantastically! He has had some health complications - specifically urinary tract issues in the past but has not had any issues as of recent and is on medicated food for it.
I’ve always wanted 2 cats and I finally felt like I was ready to introduce a new cat into our family.
When the kitten came to live with us she got pretty sick for the first few weeks so we did slow introductions, swapped smells on towels and let them smell each other through the door. As she got better we started to feed them at the same time through the door and over a few weeks time worked meal times to be in the same room with a close distance ( this may have been the wrong move but I had read that it’s like rewarding them for being together and they would relate having food with being with the other cat) If he seemed uninterested in his food we made sure to push them farther apart so he would be comfortable.
We have pheromone diffusers in the common areas of the house. She stays in my room and he gets the living room/ kitchen and my roommate has been letting him into her room every so often.
fast forward 2 months later , every time we try to have them in the same space they would be ok with each other for a little bit and then the kitten would try to explore and resident cat would get defensive. I would try to distract her with toys and that worked for a bit. They would walk up to each other and smell eachother and then he would start hitting her ( no claws, just close paw bops on the head) she would roll over and not attack and this would happen for a few weeks and I thought we were making progress. There would be some hissing/growling here or there but no big fights.
However, as soon as he stopped hitting her - she started getting up in his face and would hit him!! there would be growling and hissing and then i would take her away because I didn’t want them to hurt each other.
I try to reward them when they were together with toys, treats, pets but they were just not getting along and we decided to take a step back and keep them more separated. It has been hard keeping them in different rooms because the kitten wants to explore and all I want is for them to tolerate eachother enough for me to spend time with both of them!!
I don’t think he likes her and will stay away and hide if she comes out of the room. She has also been going straight for his food if she sees it.. I always pick her up and take her away from his food as she can be food aggressive and he has medication in his food.. ( it is near the bedroom door that she is in - I am planning to move this soon in case it is making him more anxious because of this - It’s just been the only place that works in my apartment but I want to move things around to help him adjust.)
It’s been 3/4 months now and She got spayed recently and is in the cone of shame and I feel like we’ve lost all of our progress. Resident cat has been peeing on my things that smell like her, has been having weird eating habits and I think he might be jealous because she sleeps in my room We got a pet gate so I can keep my door open so he doesn’t feel locked out & so he could get used to her smell but he is not interested in seeing what’s going on. He’s also been laying around more than usual, not really interested in toys or treats which is super odd!!
I am currently trying to up the amount of time that I spend with him - and give him more praise, I try to always check in with him first when I come home. I’m worried that he thinks I favor her because I spend more time in my room with her as my computer is in there for work/gaming. I always make sure to come out and spend time with him but I don’t know what else to do to make them tolerate each other!!
I appreciate any advice on how to make this process go by smoother. How long will they stay like this? Will I always have to separate them? When is it concerning about his eating habit changes ? How do I know if they are really fighting or just playing? Am I going too slow that he expects her to just stay in the room?
please help!
My resident cat has not been accepting of the new kitten and I am worried I am doing it all wrong.. sorry for this being a long one.
Here’s a little backstory -
I have had my resident cat for almost 8 years now. He has always been a little reclusive and had dealt with my not so great household growing up. I moved out and got my own place and worked toward giving him all the things and he had adjusted to our new lifestyle fantastically! He has had some health complications - specifically urinary tract issues in the past but has not had any issues as of recent and is on medicated food for it.
I’ve always wanted 2 cats and I finally felt like I was ready to introduce a new cat into our family.
When the kitten came to live with us she got pretty sick for the first few weeks so we did slow introductions, swapped smells on towels and let them smell each other through the door. As she got better we started to feed them at the same time through the door and over a few weeks time worked meal times to be in the same room with a close distance ( this may have been the wrong move but I had read that it’s like rewarding them for being together and they would relate having food with being with the other cat) If he seemed uninterested in his food we made sure to push them farther apart so he would be comfortable.
We have pheromone diffusers in the common areas of the house. She stays in my room and he gets the living room/ kitchen and my roommate has been letting him into her room every so often.
fast forward 2 months later , every time we try to have them in the same space they would be ok with each other for a little bit and then the kitten would try to explore and resident cat would get defensive. I would try to distract her with toys and that worked for a bit. They would walk up to each other and smell eachother and then he would start hitting her ( no claws, just close paw bops on the head) she would roll over and not attack and this would happen for a few weeks and I thought we were making progress. There would be some hissing/growling here or there but no big fights.
However, as soon as he stopped hitting her - she started getting up in his face and would hit him!! there would be growling and hissing and then i would take her away because I didn’t want them to hurt each other.
I try to reward them when they were together with toys, treats, pets but they were just not getting along and we decided to take a step back and keep them more separated. It has been hard keeping them in different rooms because the kitten wants to explore and all I want is for them to tolerate eachother enough for me to spend time with both of them!!
I don’t think he likes her and will stay away and hide if she comes out of the room. She has also been going straight for his food if she sees it.. I always pick her up and take her away from his food as she can be food aggressive and he has medication in his food.. ( it is near the bedroom door that she is in - I am planning to move this soon in case it is making him more anxious because of this - It’s just been the only place that works in my apartment but I want to move things around to help him adjust.)
It’s been 3/4 months now and She got spayed recently and is in the cone of shame and I feel like we’ve lost all of our progress. Resident cat has been peeing on my things that smell like her, has been having weird eating habits and I think he might be jealous because she sleeps in my room We got a pet gate so I can keep my door open so he doesn’t feel locked out & so he could get used to her smell but he is not interested in seeing what’s going on. He’s also been laying around more than usual, not really interested in toys or treats which is super odd!!
I am currently trying to up the amount of time that I spend with him - and give him more praise, I try to always check in with him first when I come home. I’m worried that he thinks I favor her because I spend more time in my room with her as my computer is in there for work/gaming. I always make sure to come out and spend time with him but I don’t know what else to do to make them tolerate each other!!
I appreciate any advice on how to make this process go by smoother. How long will they stay like this? Will I always have to separate them? When is it concerning about his eating habit changes ? How do I know if they are really fighting or just playing? Am I going too slow that he expects her to just stay in the room?
please help!