Help! New Kitten and Old Cat

[nachoandsoma]

I need some good advice! I have a 2 year old neutured male cat named Nacho, he is super affectionate, talkative and playful. I recently adopted an 8 week old female kitten who has a similar personality. It's been a week now and I introduced them very slowly but from the start Nacho was super curious about the kitten. I've never heard him or the kitten hiss or growl at one another but they play very rough. Nacho spends most of his time meowing and chirping at the door of the room that the kitten stays in and as soon as I open it he darts in and chases her. I wouldn't be concerned with their "playing" if it ever ended. Nacho will chase her everywhere and as soon as he catches her he bites down on her neck. If she stays still long enough he will also try to sit on her and kick her around as if she was a toy. He exhibits this same behavior with his toys but I don't know how to show him that the new kitten isn't a toy.

In addition, the new kitten is very tiny at 1.6 pounds! She will also play and pounce on him but once he gets on top of her and starts biting her neck she goes for his ears now my sweet Nacho has some swollen parts on his ears. It's breaking my heart that their play may result in wounds for either one of them!! How do I convince Nacho that the kitten isn't a toy and how do I get them to play nice?

 

[dandila]

She is too small to let them rough play together.  An 8 week old kitten really shouldn't even be away from its mother yet.  How long did you leave her in her room before trying introductions?

 

[nachoandsoma]

Her vet said she is completely weaned. I agree that she is too small. She was the runt of the litter but she has a big personality! I waited 4 days, it's now been a week. It's been very difficult to separate them due to Nacho's curiosity.

 

[dandila]

Weaning isn't the only business that kittens need from their mothers in order to be ready for adoption.  Ideally, kittens should stay with their mom for 10-12 weeks so she can teach them how to be nice cats.  So, I guess, you're just going to have to be her substitute mom and make sure she is protected and taught some manners.

I know that it can be difficult to keep them separated but it simply must be done.  She is very small and has not learned the proper way to behave with humans or other cats since she was separated from her mom so young.  Just think, she's only been on the earth for two months!  You will want to leave her in her safe room with a stuffed animal to cuddle to remind her of her siblings whom she's missing.  Visit her often and cuddle her close over your heart.  Stroke her with one finger to remind her of how mom used to groom her.  Get really bonded with her before she spends time with her new brother.  Do all of this for at least two weeks.  This way, perhaps she will run to you when she's feeling overwhelmed.

After two weeks you could try to reintroduce them for short play sessions, always keeping a close eye on their behavior.  Do not take your eyes off of them.  If one of them starts the rough play again...separate.  Give your resident lots and lots of attention during this time too.  Play with him at least twice a day for good lengths of time to burn off some of his stress over his new sister's arrival.

I know you did not want to hear any of this advice but it will pay of big for you and your cats in the long run.  Please let us know how it goes.

 

[nachoandsoma]

I absolutely appreciate it! I care very much for both of them and I want them to feel safe and have a good relationship. I spend a lot of time with her and she sleeps right in the nook of my arm. I just have to find a way to prevent Nacho from sprinting into her safety room as soon as I open the door. I will definitely keep them separated and will be happy to give an update once she is further along and they have been separated for an adequate amount of time. Thanks for the advice!

 

[tobilei]

We had a 1 1/2 year old male Maine Coon when we adopted our current girl at around 11 weeks (she was a rescue and I think probably been away from her Mum from an early age). He did the same. We kept them completely separated for a whole week, then we would let him into her room and her out into the house for 10 minutes or so once a day for a few days. Then we let him come into her room and meet her while we were present.

When we first started letting her out (around the end of week 2) we only let them be together when we were present and he did the same. Just ran after her and then would kind of sit on her and bite her neck and groom her obsessively. I think it was him asserting his dominance over her. He still does it now but he doesn't hunt her down to do it and she gives it back when he bothers her. If we left the house we made sure she was back in her room and he had the rest of the house. We left the door ajar with a wedge in it so they could paw at each other if they wanted but not actually be in with each other.

Once she was out full time he stopped doing it as I said and now it's just an occasional thing, but she's 5 months now and a whole lot bigger. All up it was at least a month, maybe slightly longer before we let them be alone together unattended. They mostly get along though (every brother and sister have their moments)

 

[nachoandsoma]

I'll definitely keep them separated for longer. Nacho has always been so playful I'm worried that he isn't going to understand that she isn't a toy. He meows and puts his paws under the door of the room she stays in and lately he's been lashing out at me if I don't let him play with her. Hopefully once she gets bigger they can get along as decent as your cats!

 

[dandila]

Awe, they're so cute together!  When he lashes out at you distract him with his favorite toy or something else that he really enjoys.  You could also get a baby gate that you could step over but would stop him for the moment you need to get inside her room.  I've been known to put one of my cats in a bathroom for a few moments if I'm afraid of them getting in to a safe room.