Gettin' Old Ain't for Sissies

[Mamanyt1953]

OK...in deference to my current bout of arthritis, I started this thread for us older folks to have a place to gripe and moan and exchange tech tips and funny stuff ("You know you're getting old when...) about the process of aging.  

I'll start us off with a funny thing, 'cause I don't wanna think about my hip right now!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape , so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week "

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.     (BOY IS THIS ONE TRUE!)

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

--- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

 

[muffy]

 
OK...in deference to my current bout of arthritis, I started this thread for us older folks to have a place to gripe and moan and exchange tech tips and funny stuff ("You know you're getting old when...) about the process of aging.  

I'll start us off with a funny thing, 'cause I don't wanna think about my hip right now!

The good thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 

This a nice thread for us old farts. My biggest problem is arthritis. I'm going to have to break down and have my knees replaced soon. It scares me to death.

I like the jokes about the driver license and the Easter eggs. No matter how many times I watch reruns on TV they are all new to me.

 

[marrin713]

Hair growing out of places they shouldn't be lol

 

[artiemom]

and some things hanging so low....gravity has really landed!!

 

[neely]

And the best excuse for not remembering something is to blame it on CRS (Can't Remember Sh#t) 

 

[margd]

Somewhere along the line, my lungs turned into bagpipes.  I can lie in bed at night and listen to my own music.  

 

 

[di and bob]

You know you are really old when you don't buy green bananas anymore!  

 

[artiemom]

 
Somewhere along the line, my lungs turned into bagpipes.  I can lie in bed at night and listen to my own music.  

 

me too, but it keeps me awake... 

When you get up from a sitting position and it takes several minutes for you not to have a huge limp...gotta get the 'kinks' out!! 

 

[sivyaleah]

 
This a nice thread for us old farts. My biggest problem is arthritis. I'm going to have to break down and have my knees replaced soon. It scares me to death.

I like the jokes about the driver license and the Easter eggs. No matter how many times I watch reruns on TV they are all new to me.

Same here.  

I've had 3 surgeries thus far for meniscus tears - 2 in the right knee.  That one is really bad now with arthritis.  I can walk, I have good range of movement but it kills me all the time. No medication has been able to touch it except for when I was on a steroid for another reason.  I had 2 full weeks of pain free living. It was bliss.  

The knee replacement has been tossed around by both my general practitioner and my surgeon.  I am so not ready for that, I can't imagine taking off from work for months.  I've tried losing weight but you know, at this age that's not so easy either.  I'd really like to hold out as long as possible but I have to admit in the end it probably would make my life much easier.  It's become very difficult for me to stand or walk for long periods of time.  Really puts a damper on life in general.

 

[sivyaleah]

 
Somewhere along the line, my lungs turned into bagpipes.  I can lie in bed at night and listen to my own music.  

 

LOL!

FYI, maybe it's allergies? I was having a problem with wheezing and snoring. Got allergy tested and lo and behold, allergic to like everything including the cats.  My allergist, being a cat owner, knew not to suggest rehoming them and she said I should look into an air purifier for the bedroom, minimum. 

I bought an extremely good one and since we've been using it, neither me or my fiance have been snoring!  And my wheezing stopped at night!  Who knew?  I'm also on a new medication and a nasal spray but honestly it's the purifier that did the trick. I'm going to buy one for downstairs soon too!

 

[verna davies]

My friend always says to me "I don't know if I have told you this already ".
I always reply"if you have, I don't remember".
We both strongly suspect we are having the same conversation every day.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Waking up in the morning and feeling like a box of Rice Krispies.  EVERYTHING goes "Snap, crackle, pop!"

I actually called the non-emergency 911 dispatcher number and alerted them that I might call at any time, just stuck in the bathtub.  When the arthritis in the hip kicks in, sometimes getting out is a real issue.  I'm going to talk with my landlady and my doctor about a 504 variance for a handheld showerhead and a tub chair.  Don't need them really often, but when I do, I need them desperately!

 

[Winchester]

The first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is stand up. And then I stand there and try to figure out if anything is hurting. Feet? Check. Ankles? Check. Knees? Check. And so on. 

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Hair growing out of places they shouldn't be lol

It actually migrates.  In women, it moves from our legs to our upper lips, in men, from the head to the ears.  In either case, it moves through the brain, leaving tiny holes like baby swiss cheese, which explains so much.  Or at least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

 
and some things hanging so low....gravity has really landed!!

OH GOD YES!  The bits of me that used to proudly look out at the world head-on now tend to watch my toes.  I am given to understand that men have the same issue, only with different bits.

 
Same here.  

I've had 3 surgeries thus far for meniscus tears - 2 in the right knee.  That one is really bad now with arthritis.  I can walk, I have good range of movement but it kills me all the time. No medication has been able to touch it except for when I was on a steroid for another reason.  I had 2 full weeks of pain free living. It was bliss.  

The knee replacement has been tossed around by both my general practitioner and my surgeon.  I am so not ready for that, I can't imagine taking off from work for months.  I've tried losing weight but you know, at this age that's not so easy either.  I'd really like to hold out as long as possible but I have to admit in the end it probably would make my life much easier.  It's become very difficult for me to stand or walk for long periods of time.  Really puts a damper on life in general.

I have, so far, avoided surgery for meniscus tears, by as little as .5 cm, on one occasion.  I healed with rest, but that came at a cost.  I spent so much time not using my right leg that I have now compromised the left one!

 
The first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is stand up. And then I stand there and try to figure out if anything is hurting. Feet? Check. Ankles? Check. Knees? Check. And so on. 

LOL...my dad used to sit at the side of the bed for 5 minutes or so.  When Mom asked  him why, he said, "I'm taking inventory...it feels like things might have gone missing in the night!"  I understand that now!

 

[Primula]

Touch wood, at age 66 I seem to be in very good health. My mother died of cancer at age 44 and I totally think I am blessed to be healthy. So many folks where I live are missing limbs due to diabetes.

 

[sivyaleah]

 
It actually migrates.  In women, it moves from our legs to our upper lips, in men, from the head to the ears.  In either case, it moves through the brain, leaving tiny holes like baby swiss cheese, which explains so much.  Or at least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

OH GOD YES!  The bits of me that used to proudly look out at the world head-on now tend to watch my toes.  I am given to understand that men have the same issue, only with different bits.

I have, so far, avoided surgery for meniscus tears, by as little as .5 cm, on one occasion.  I healed with rest, but that came at a cost.  I spent so much time not using my right leg that I have now compromised the left one!

This is so familiar.  I wound up with a Taylor's Bunionette - which is on the side of my right pinkie toe. Much smaller than a typical bunion but as painful (I assume).  This due to me walking poorly and putting too much weight on the side of my foot because of the knee pain.  It was excruciating. I've had to have 2 cortisone shots in it but luckily, the last one seems to have had a lasting effect as it's been well over a year now.  That and switching to sneakers all the time.  Thankfully my job doesn't have a dress code other than "look presentable" 

  If it acts up again, I may have to think about surgery. 

 

[Margret]

 
You know you are really old when you don't buy green bananas anymore!  

Oh, I still buy my bananas green.  I eat my bananas green!  That way I don't have to take as many diabetes meds to handle the carbs in them.  (No, not a joke.  Simple fact.)

Margret

 

[Margret]

My friend always says to me "I don't know if I have told you this already ".
I always reply"if you have, I don't remember".
We both strongly suspect we are having the same conversation every day.

The thing that gets me is that, for me at least, it's not because of age.  I was like this at 18!  (Not that I want it to be age -- I have a horror of Alzheimer's.  I think most of us do.)

For me, it's not so much remembering whether I've told the story before, but to whom I've told it.  I sometimes feel like I need to put some kind of database manager on my phone -- list of people down the left, list of reminiscences and stories across the top, boxes to check when I've told this one.  It wouldn't work, of course, but I can always dream.

Margret

 

[Margret]

 
The first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is stand up. And then I stand there and try to figure out if anything is hurting. Feet? Check. Ankles? Check. Knees? Check. And so on. 

Before I get out of bed, I massage the soles of my feet with the base knuckle of the big toe of the other foot.  I hear little popping sounds when I do, but then my feet feel okay when I get out of bed.  I discovered this one when I was still in my 20s or 30s I think, so it's not specifically an age thing.

Touch wood, at age 66 I seem to be in very good health. My mother died of cancer at age 44 and I totally think I am blessed to be healthy. So many folks where I live are missing limbs due to diabetes.

My father died of liver cancer at the age of 74.  My mother died almost a year ago of old age -- she was less than two months short of her 98th birthday.  My maternal grandparents both died prematurely -- he had an accident, and she had ovarian cancer.  And both of my paternal grandparents were in their 90s when they died.  Basically, I have good genes.  If I can keep the diabetes under control and either avoid cancer or catch it early I'm pretty certain that I have another 30 or 40 years left.  Oh, yes.  And avoid suicide after my husband dies.  His heart is bad.

And that's the worst part about growing old, all of the loved ones you lose.

Regarding knee surgery.  While I don't recommend any surgery as something fun you can do for yourself, knee surgery really does help when that's what you need.

And regarding just about any joint pain -- wrist, elbow, knee, or ankle, but not hips, fingers, or toes unless you know something I don't -- the proper bandage/brace can do a great deal to help support the joint.  I have an ACE elbow brace that stays in the kitchen.  I only wear it when I'm trying to deal with heavy dishes on upper shelves, where the elbow has to do all the work.  The elbow still does all the work, but the support of the brace keeps me from doing it in such a way that I hurt myself.

Margret

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Huh..wonder who started this thread?

'nuff said.