Hun, I think you need to take care of yourself right now. It sounds like the stress is spilling over to other areas of life, and you can't have that. I don't know why the kitten is behaving like this (normal kitten behavior? I don't know, thankfully both my then-kittens were pretty chill from the get go), but it's adversely affecting your health and quality of life.
"Giving up on him" is a wrong mindset. Maybe it's just not a match? Maybe you can do a kitten exchange (before or after your trip?) You are trying to save up for big things, which is stressful enough as it is without having the additional stress of a kitten. You're going to board him for 2 weeks, what's that cost compare to returning him and picking up another (or two) when you return?
I don't want you to give up on yourself. I don't want this kitten to cause you emotional duress. I don't want this kitten to create strife with you and your partner. I'm pretty sure you don't want that either.
Don't wallow in regrets and guilt. You've already acknowledged the 'should have's. Now is the time to take a DEEP breath, and think about what's best for YOU and KITTEN. Try thinking (or better writing down, even writing to us) different possibilities. List the pros and cons of each one.
I have suffered from panic attacks. It's an awful experience. I had to talk to a counselor who helped me come to a self realization about what was causing my attacks. Making up different solutions to my problem at the time helped. I got support from very dear friends. It all worked out in the end. Even better than I could have imagined.
It'll be ok hun.
"Giving up on him" is a wrong mindset. Maybe it's just not a match? Maybe you can do a kitten exchange (before or after your trip?) You are trying to save up for big things, which is stressful enough as it is without having the additional stress of a kitten. You're going to board him for 2 weeks, what's that cost compare to returning him and picking up another (or two) when you return?
I don't want you to give up on yourself. I don't want this kitten to cause you emotional duress. I don't want this kitten to create strife with you and your partner. I'm pretty sure you don't want that either.
Don't wallow in regrets and guilt. You've already acknowledged the 'should have's. Now is the time to take a DEEP breath, and think about what's best for YOU and KITTEN. Try thinking (or better writing down, even writing to us) different possibilities. List the pros and cons of each one.
I have suffered from panic attacks. It's an awful experience. I had to talk to a counselor who helped me come to a self realization about what was causing my attacks. Making up different solutions to my problem at the time helped. I got support from very dear friends. It all worked out in the end. Even better than I could have imagined.
It'll be ok hun.