Feeling anxious/guilty about leaving kitten alone!

[Brian007]

  That at least 10 individual posters recommended rehoming when you started the thread.  Many of the other posters have shown their concern about Pebble being an only child, who is still a baby, home alone, and his impending separation from you & his 2-week cattery stay.  But the more you explained your situation, and the clear love & dedication you feel for Pebble, the more we understood & supported you in your plan to keep wee Pebble and do everything possible to give him a happy home.  I have not mentioned the possibility to rehome since my initial post, neither has anyone else with the exception of @angiecat, who I believe did so because they hadn't been following the discussion closely.  (My apologies @angiecat  for dragging you into this explanation)  I have only given you my hand of friendship, positive feedback, tips, and tried to reassure you that life is ok.  I have also affirmed that you are coping, will cope, and tried to lessen any anxiety, after all I'm a fellow sufferer.  I actually have ultra rapid cycling bi-polar 1 disorder, anxiety disorder, and several other pesky "personality' disorders, including being high on the Aspergers spectrum - my life is far from easy, and I understand where your initial anxiety led paranoia stems from ("Feeling anxious/guilty about leaving kitten alone").  I don't know whether it will be to my detriment on this site to admit to this but if it helps you, then it helps me also.  I am a very experienced cat owner, have had several kittens throughout my 42 years, and many a rescue cat with behavioural problems.  And I know for certain that Pebble's life needs a tiny tweak for him to grow into a well-adjusted companion.  I also believe that your involvement on TCS will be enormously helpful to you all, and I'm thoroughly impressed that you've joined and admitted your anxiety.

So, please relax, I highly doubt that anyone else is going to mention rehoming.  I'm certainly not, I'm actively seeing in-home methods to benefit Pebble's mental health.  But, I will step back if my input is not helpful to you, or if I inadvertently cause distress.  

 

[matai88]

Thanks for clearing that up, I completely see what your saying now and I'm very sorry for any misunderstanding on my part. And thank you again for your great advice.

I'm sorry you also have to deal with anxiety and related issues, it makes seeing things clearly extra tough and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! I hope you can understand that as my anxiety has been at its peak lately I may have misunderstood people's posts, including your own. Anxiety unfortunately leaves me paranoid that the whole world is out to get me, and I struggle to believe when people say I'm doing the right thing, even if they blatantly point it out to me.

Thanks for being patient with me and explaining things clearly, I appreciate it more than you will ever know! [emoji]128522[/emoji]

 

[NewYork1303]

I think the problem is what were giving is "conventional wisdom". This says a kitten left alone for 10 hours a day MAY develop behavioral issues, anxiety, ect.

What we're missing is that this isn't even close to true for all kittens. Some kittens are good at home all day. At the shelter, I've worked at there are some kittens that have been adopted out into situations like this one since they are very independent and do well in this kind of environment. 

You have to look at your kittens personality and see if it is working for him. You're the only one who can say whether this is a good situation for him or you. 

 

[nevroth]

I bought these for my cats. https://nobowlcat.com/   I guess I'm that person that loves buying new gadgets, lol, but only when it comes to my cats! (eyes 3yr old cracked android smart phone. eh, still works!!)

If you don't mind a little kibble on the floor it can be quite fun. I put them in different areas and the kitties go 'hunting' lol.

I leave jazz or classical playing when I'm at work on a tablet (I heart radio app). Sometimes talk radio or soft rock.

We do the best we can do with what we have. You have lots of love for Pebbles in your heart. He'll help with your anxiety also (after this rough start).

Moar Pebble plz!!! He is SO CUTE!

 

[matai88]

It's a lazy day today

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• matai88
• Feb 17, 2017

 

[Brian007]

 

[NewYork1303]

So cute! How old is he? He doesn't really look like a tiny baby kitten in this picture. 

 

[daisyd]

As I said in a previous post gracie is sometimes left for 9 hours a day ! I used to leave the tv on however we reckon she jumps up in her scratch post basket and sleeps most of the day ! she greets us at the door every night yawning and stretching !

 

[KatKnapper]

She so gorgeous.  I once felt anxious even letting in an "escaped for a day" family's cat into my home.  Being told she had a "mischevious" face in a picture was an understatement.  She was what I call an outside-in door dasher.  Once inside she would terrorize me by getting into stuff, knocking things over, getting onto shelving, the kitchen sink, the clothes washer.  I had a container stuffed full of coins once.  Thought to myself I needed to move it before she door-dashes me again and knocks it over.  I didn't heed my own insight, and sure enough, a couple days later she got inside and knocked over all the coins.

The sad part of it all I guess is, her home at the time wasn't really her home.  Her original owner got her back after the other family moved abruptly leaving her behind.  Now I hear her original mommy had to go away, leaving her again. Then a family member of her former mommy took her in.  That is four homes in which she has lived, in less than a year. Just an instance of rehoming gone wrong.  She left a very deep impression upon my heart, as she first befriended me. 

I think two of you need each other.  Don't worry so much about her.  She'll be ok.  As for your furniture and things, that's a different story :-).  You have to find humor in it all and adapt and improvise alternatives, then encourage and reward positive behavior. 

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• KatKnapper
• Feb 18, 2017

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• KatKnapper
• Feb 18, 2017

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• KatKnapper
• Feb 18, 2017

 

[matai88]

He's a bit cute. He's almost 14 weeks old I think. Was born 16 November 2016.

 

[profdanglais]

That's my birthday! He is definitely special to be born on that day

 

[matai88]

Hi all

Just thought that I'd check in and let you all know how things are going. After some long chats with my psychologist, vet, doctor, family and friends we decided to keep Pebble. The sessions with the psychologist and vet really helped put my mind at ease. Pebble has settled in really well and I've calmed down a lot. I'm finding I'm actually enjoying having him around and enjoy taking care of him. I'm really happy that we are keeping him and I haven't had any panic/anxiety for the last 2 weeks 

Sure his life isn't perfect - he's alone during weekdays and we still shut him out of our bedroom at night, but as everyone I've spoken to has said it's very important for me to get sleep so that I *have* the energy to take care of/play with him (no sleep = no energy/over emotional = stress for everyone). I also haven't ruled out getting a second kitten when I can afford to but I also know this isn't a requirement for Pebble to have a happy life. I may foster a second kitten with a view to adopt, that way we can test how Pebble would adjust to having another cat around (he may love it or hate it, who knows!). With fostering at least if it doesn't work out I would know that the kitten would be going to a good home rather than back to a shelter.

Thanks for all your help and advice, it really is much appreciated and I'm SO glad there are places like this for people to come to!

 

[neely]

 
Hi all

Just thought that I'd check in and let you all know how things are going. After some long chats with my psychologist, vet, doctor, family and friends we decided to keep Pebble. The sessions with the psychologist and vet really helped put my mind at ease. Pebble has settled in really well and I've calmed down a lot. I'm finding I'm actually enjoying having him around and enjoy taking care of him. I'm really happy that we are keeping him and I haven't had any panic/anxiety for the last 2 weeks 

That's wonderful news, you must be so relieved and incredibly happy. 

 I think the idea about fostering another kitty in the future is a great idea.  Don't forget to post more pics and give us updates on Pebble as he grows. Best of luck!

 

[Brian007]

That's fabulous news!  And, I also think that fostering might suit you all, especially as you have an anxious nature, which could be a blessing in disguise when fostering.  But, with any luck, the foster will stick around and your furfamily will blossom and grow  

I'm ever so pleased for Pebble, you, your family, and all the other people who are invested in you  

Well done  

 

[MoochNNoodles]

That's great news!  I'm happy for you and Pebble! 

 

[mazie]

Wonderful, nothing more to say, I am happy on your decision and agree completely with what the others  above have said.