I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this other than I feel like I have to get it out and I know fellow cat lovers will understand (and may have some advice). If this is the inappropriate forum please move this post.
About a year and a half ago, my oldest kitty Athena started to have a few issues. She started to lose weight, and had a couple of infections that turned out to be kidney infections. Of course we took her to the vet and other than the infections an ultrasound showed a 'nonspecific thickening of the intestinal tract'.
Over this year and a half she has slowly and steadily lost weight (save a brief period where she did gain a little back). She's had, I believe, two overnight vet stays to be treated with IV fluids and antibiotics for her infections, which haven't reoccurred. Her most recent vet appointment was two months ago where her kidney values were found to be fine but her weight was just under four pounds (she's been an eight pound kitty all her life).
It is to the point now I'm not sure how her organs are even functioning, she's literally no more than skin and bone. The vets had put her on a special urinary support diet but she wasn't fond of it and refused to eat. Eating anything else caused her to vomit frequently, but we finally nailed a urinary support diet she would eat that she didn't just vomit up. She's only vomited three times in the last month or so, two times just large amounts of water, once some food. At its worst it was frequent enough she was vomiting several times a week. If not quite once a day it was close to it.
Despite all this, she's been her normal self. She's an old cat and she acts like an old cat but she's been alert, interactive, eating and drinking, not giving any behavioral indications that she's uncomfortable or closing down.
Fast forward to yesterday. She asked to get on my lap once and I held her for bit, but when I had to get up she disappeared. We located her sitting in the box house on our upstairs cat tree. Other than rest in the box house and her little 'sleeping box' in a shaded little side hall off the kitchen, she didn't seem to do anything. We weren't sure we had seen her eat so I tried to coax her a bit with some food. She didn't want it or her treats, so I tempted her with a tiny bit of ham which seemed to pique her interest. She had a 'strange' look not only in her eyes but to her face as a whole. The look in her eyes was as if she wasn't quite focused, her face was hard to pinpoint. It didn't look like her face was *her face* but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I finally realized her eyes were sunken and her lower eyelids were a little droopy, showing the whites. I've since looked this up and found out it's common in cats that have had dramatic weight loss. At this point, I'd put her weight at about two pounds, if that. She is literally just skin and bone.
She showed interest in the ham though and she's still drinking. When she walks she wobbles a bit from side to side like she's really weak, but she still seems not to be in discomfort, just lethargic. We had to go out last night and I was telling my wife that if we couldn't tempt her to eat when we got home it might be time to take that final trip to the vet. We stopped and bought some salmon oil and some really stinky fish based canned food. Mixing this into her normal prescription kibble did perk her up and she ate a few mouthfuls, both last night and this morning. No vomiting, and she's still drinking regularly.
She slept with us last night which is her normal habit. This morning she had a few mouthfuls, and my wife told me that she's had a few mouthfuls again since I've been at work. She still looks 'glazed' and not quite focused, however, and she's spending all her time in the cat tree box in the spare room. She eats but we have to bring her to it or bring it to her.
I feel like she's starting on her way out and I know that if she does go, it's going to be due to multiple organ failure as she just cannot nutritionally support herself any more. Even eating, she's not absorbing nutrients through her intestines (we still don't know why, the vets are stumped. They thought it might be a type of lymphoma but if it had been she wouldn't have lasted this long, they said).
I know multiple organ failure is not a nice way to go. It's painful and I don't want her to go through that. But as long as she's eating and drinking I keep telling myself it's not time yet. We didn't think she'd make it through that first year but she did. At Thanksgiving, I thought for sure she wouldn't make it to New Year's but she did. I know it's probably just wishful thinking but I keep procrastinating. My biggest fear is that she'll die in pain, or that she'll pass away without me there with her. I keep questioning if I'm doing the right thing...she's eating and drinking so maybe I can put it off a bit longer? But what if I put it off too long? I'm terrified of both making that decision too soon or too late.
I guess I don't even know what I'm really asking. Right now we're playing it hour by hour but my gut feeling is that by this weekend it will be decided one way or the other. I don't want her to go without me there, and I don't want her to go in pain, but I keep telling myself 'one more day, she's not hurting and she's still eating...'
About a year and a half ago, my oldest kitty Athena started to have a few issues. She started to lose weight, and had a couple of infections that turned out to be kidney infections. Of course we took her to the vet and other than the infections an ultrasound showed a 'nonspecific thickening of the intestinal tract'.
Over this year and a half she has slowly and steadily lost weight (save a brief period where she did gain a little back). She's had, I believe, two overnight vet stays to be treated with IV fluids and antibiotics for her infections, which haven't reoccurred. Her most recent vet appointment was two months ago where her kidney values were found to be fine but her weight was just under four pounds (she's been an eight pound kitty all her life).
It is to the point now I'm not sure how her organs are even functioning, she's literally no more than skin and bone. The vets had put her on a special urinary support diet but she wasn't fond of it and refused to eat. Eating anything else caused her to vomit frequently, but we finally nailed a urinary support diet she would eat that she didn't just vomit up. She's only vomited three times in the last month or so, two times just large amounts of water, once some food. At its worst it was frequent enough she was vomiting several times a week. If not quite once a day it was close to it.
Despite all this, she's been her normal self. She's an old cat and she acts like an old cat but she's been alert, interactive, eating and drinking, not giving any behavioral indications that she's uncomfortable or closing down.
Fast forward to yesterday. She asked to get on my lap once and I held her for bit, but when I had to get up she disappeared. We located her sitting in the box house on our upstairs cat tree. Other than rest in the box house and her little 'sleeping box' in a shaded little side hall off the kitchen, she didn't seem to do anything. We weren't sure we had seen her eat so I tried to coax her a bit with some food. She didn't want it or her treats, so I tempted her with a tiny bit of ham which seemed to pique her interest. She had a 'strange' look not only in her eyes but to her face as a whole. The look in her eyes was as if she wasn't quite focused, her face was hard to pinpoint. It didn't look like her face was *her face* but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I finally realized her eyes were sunken and her lower eyelids were a little droopy, showing the whites. I've since looked this up and found out it's common in cats that have had dramatic weight loss. At this point, I'd put her weight at about two pounds, if that. She is literally just skin and bone.
She showed interest in the ham though and she's still drinking. When she walks she wobbles a bit from side to side like she's really weak, but she still seems not to be in discomfort, just lethargic. We had to go out last night and I was telling my wife that if we couldn't tempt her to eat when we got home it might be time to take that final trip to the vet. We stopped and bought some salmon oil and some really stinky fish based canned food. Mixing this into her normal prescription kibble did perk her up and she ate a few mouthfuls, both last night and this morning. No vomiting, and she's still drinking regularly.
She slept with us last night which is her normal habit. This morning she had a few mouthfuls, and my wife told me that she's had a few mouthfuls again since I've been at work. She still looks 'glazed' and not quite focused, however, and she's spending all her time in the cat tree box in the spare room. She eats but we have to bring her to it or bring it to her.
I feel like she's starting on her way out and I know that if she does go, it's going to be due to multiple organ failure as she just cannot nutritionally support herself any more. Even eating, she's not absorbing nutrients through her intestines (we still don't know why, the vets are stumped. They thought it might be a type of lymphoma but if it had been she wouldn't have lasted this long, they said).
I know multiple organ failure is not a nice way to go. It's painful and I don't want her to go through that. But as long as she's eating and drinking I keep telling myself it's not time yet. We didn't think she'd make it through that first year but she did. At Thanksgiving, I thought for sure she wouldn't make it to New Year's but she did. I know it's probably just wishful thinking but I keep procrastinating. My biggest fear is that she'll die in pain, or that she'll pass away without me there with her. I keep questioning if I'm doing the right thing...she's eating and drinking so maybe I can put it off a bit longer? But what if I put it off too long? I'm terrified of both making that decision too soon or too late.
I guess I don't even know what I'm really asking. Right now we're playing it hour by hour but my gut feeling is that by this weekend it will be decided one way or the other. I don't want her to go without me there, and I don't want her to go in pain, but I keep telling myself 'one more day, she's not hurting and she's still eating...'
